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hello.
I have recently thought about making a move to Oxford. I have family in the area and close by. I have visited every year since I was little and have kind of fallen for the small town vibe, I am 27. I am moving from Seattle. I have few questions.
I consider myself a punkish liberal white male (ear piercings, hippyish, vegetarian, nerdy, gay). I know oxford has a conservative prep style, but are there any counterculture/hippy concentrations? compared to Seattle, I expect nothing to be as high as it is here!
I am looking to move away from the rainy climate of the NW. I already have a living situation set up, with girl who is vegetarian and does yoga, but in this case that doesn't work, how much do one bedrooms usually run? im used to paying 995 for a one bedroom in Seattle. The other reason Oxford is an option is because I have heard it is cheaper to live there than Seattle and I have student loans to pay off and want to do so quickly.
I will not be studying at ole miss, but my brother, aunt and father all went there. they tried to pursuade me to study there. I was raised in the delta till I was 5 then moved to Colorado. I was in Destin, FL for ten years so I know how the vibe at least in gulfcoast fl, but having been in Seattle(super liberal, recent gay marriage and mj legalized, strong lgbt advocacy) for the past three years, I feelsomewhat disillusioned and uneducated about the true culture of Oxford. My friends and relatives tell me it is very artsy and more liberal than it would seem.
As far as public transport goes, would I have to buy a car? the person I am moving in with says no, but if I want to travel, yes. Im thinking about getting a cheap car but isnt there a bus route in the town?
I already have a support system there, friends and family, but how hard would it be for a single white gay alternative(no visible tats) 27 year old to meet people? would I be able to find friends by attending the local yoga studio? would I be harassed in oxford by the uber conservative crowds?
any lgbt support? im very lax about my sexuality and don't go around telling everyone I'm gay. Im just chilled about it and if people ask Im honest about it. If people dont like it, that is fine, just don't try to tell me I'm going to hell. any religion besides Christianity in the area? Buddhism? isn't there a Tibetan Buddhist temple in TN?
I realize oxford will not be as accepting of alternative faiths as Seattle is, but I just dont want to get harassed or called out if I casually mention I am pagan or into Jungian psychology in a bookstore or something. (We get hardcore Christians here in Seattle too, and living in FL i was used to it). speaking of Jung, I noticed there is a collection of his work at Square Books last time I was there in may, which is very cool and made me feel good. Having an artsy liberal aunt, I know there are people I can jive with in the town becuase of her friends, I just have to find my own circle.
Im not a heavy sports fan or bar goer, and I know oxford has a high sports fan base and it gets crazy during football season, which is fine. I have no plans to attend ole miss cept to audit some courses in their liberal arts division. (have a ba in liberal arts and a masters in information science)
i have not decided yet on the move, just throwing these thoughts out into cyber space.
thanks for any advice. college student opinions welcomed. thanks.
You will probably only fit in and get along with your family and maybe a few people. To be around the type of people your are talking about you would have to drive an hour north to Memphis in the cooper young district. Even that is nothing compared to Seattle. You will have to buy a car there is no public transit. The university may be liberal but Mississippi is not. And Ole Miss is not that liberal by Seattle standards. Dude I am not trying to scare you because I love Mississippi but the lifestyle you want is not in Mississippi. You will stick out. Unless you plan on waging some crusade to change the mind of Mississippians this is not the place for you. I WOULD STRONGLY RECONSIDER THIS MOVE.
You've talked about everything but work; you don't say what kind of work you do. Can't say as most of us care what kind of hairdo you have, where your piercing are, or who you sleep with, but if you are looking for a place to just "be", maybe Oxford would not be the best choice.
Some of your post is priceless: .... have a living situation set up, with girl who is vegetarian and does yoga,.....
Since the 'Gay' thing is in every sentence of the Original Post, I'll address that first. According to my Gay friends, in Mississippi, the Three Currencies of the Gay World are Masculinity, Muscles, & Money: in that order. This is, of course, true of the whole Gay World: but in Mississippi, this is exponentially more true than elsewhere. Other qualities are not even seen as 'qualities'. To be considered as a desirable partner, you need to be able to convince EVERYBODY you are staight and butch beyond belief. You need to be not just muscular, but stocky and blondish. Scott Caan, if he had BamaBangs and not a greazer up-do, would be about right. And what you do for money is as important as how much you have. Army Master Sargents outrank Surgeons in that regard. Building Contractors outrank Attorneys. Everybody wants a daddy.
It is doubtful that you will be yelled-at for being Gay. And it is almost unthinkable that you will be Gay-bashed. That's because the imported element in California and Texas responsible for the epidemics of bashing have not arrived, yet, in sufficient numbers, in Mississippi. And the home-grown, low-IQ violent homophobes are in inner-city slums: not in posh University Towns.
Ole Miss has always had a sharp dichotomy between the "normal people" and the "heavies"/"artsy-types". And brainy types there to become physicians and attorneys (unless they were frat rats) were called "eggheads".
An older friend of mine remembers a moment in the Sixties, when his Grandmother was telling about her son's first year at Ole Miss. "One of Bobbeh's professors is one of those 'characters'. He wears a beret, smokes a pipe, and drives one o' those luhttuh Muh-seh-dees caaaaaahs!" (The Mercedes was, apparently, seen as being the most freakish thing on the list. And frankly, having seen photos of that family's Continentals and Electras of the era, I'd have to agree that something would have to have been "wrong with him" for that Professor to have wanted a noisy little Mercedes.)
I think "characters" were valued at Ole Miss, in much the same way that "Mizner Mistakes", like stairways to nowhere, were coveted features of 1920s villas in Palm Beach. Something for "conservatives" to talk about, while falling-down-drunk at parties.
So, you will find a large community of "artsy" types. And your presence will be seen as contributing to the "hip" vibe. People will be very impressed you're from Seattle.
This "artsy" scene is quite apart from actual homosexual activity there. If you're flamboyant, artistic, slight, fey... you might have a very active and meaningful social life (consisting of hanging around, acting meaningful/spiritual/liberal). But you will NOT be regarded as a desirable partner for amorous activities.
Mississippi wants Larry the Cable Guy, not the artsy blond kid in Qu--r as Folk.
An older Gay man who taught me things about Economics you won't pick up in the curriculum... even in your doctoral program... used to talk about the fabled year, up at Ole Miss, when every single member of the Football team could be 'had', in a certain 'facility', on a certain floor, of the Library. (that was in the Seventies, I think). These guys were all convincingly 'straight'.
I know of a Jackson bidnesman who, in the Nineties, used to 'date' a good portion of the Football team up there. He was a big, butch bodybuilder. Money, alone, would not have been enough to persuade those big, equally butch athletes to allow him "mentor" them at his vacation homes. One had to be masculine, too. It all came crashing down around his head, when his commodities speculations plotzed, and he ran out of money and friends. He was asked to cease and desist from associations with "the team".
That bidnesman was a "conservative". The football players were "conservatives". 'Conservative', in the Ole Miss context, means "conformist". It means you wear suits to church and funerals, and maintain an outward mask of righteousness. It doesn't mean much else. Having 'beliefs' is not considered good form.
You'll easily be able to afford living in Oxford. In fact, the amount you're naming would probably pay for a bottom-rung condominium... plus assessments and utilities.... If you shop around, and buy a unit that's been trashed by the previous occupants. You'll probably qualify for 'first-time homeowner' financing. Don't blow it by missing payments: you only get a sweet deal like that once.
But while I'm thinking about it... Have you checked out Vashon Island, yet? Unless things have changed significantly in the last couple of years, it might fit both your sensibilities and your budget.
___________
Believe me: you'll fit in, within certain circles. You'll lend a great deal if authenticity to what, for them, is posturing. Like I said: there's always been an artsy scene there. Just don't expect a string of fabulous romances, because everybody will be after the guys in the F250 pickup trucks. I have Gay friends who are considered "untouchables" by the Gay Community in Mississippi (They have Muscles and Money, but are in 'creative' fields, which renders one "just a queen" in Mississippi.). Those friends are considered ultra-desirable, fabulous catches, in Seattle, Minneapolis, and NYC.
Last edited by GrandviewGloria; 06-26-2013 at 06:11 PM..
thanks for the replies. I would like to work in information centers at the university or the hospital or maybe some research analysis. As far as the 'three precious masculine jewels' of the gay community, they have that in Seattle, too. And no, I am not butch by any means. I realize I will stand out by how I carry myself with my style and people have even asked me straight up at stores and gas stations in Oxford where I am from because it is obvious I am not a local. I have not decided if I am moving, just getting used to the idea. going to visit in August for a week or more and feel around and see how I respond since the last I was there was in May. Just want to be closer to family but yea, I get that I wont fit in, which could be a problem, yet I have established a support circle in Oxford already with people who have similar interests and it will grow. and I even enjoy having conservative friends! balance is healthy. thank you.
Grandview Gloria you write like Tennessee Williams. I agree with her comments about gay culture in Mississippi I am just saying that culture is vastly different from Westcoast gay culture.
Grandview Gloria you write like Tennessee Williams. I agree with her comments about gay culture in Mississippi I am just saying that culture is vastly different from Westcoast gay culture.
Tennessee Williams just rolled over in his grave...
24 year old Ole Miss student here. You should be able to find a nice group of friends if you look in the right places. There are a good few artsy, hipster, liberal folks here. There's also a big fraternity/conservative/old south culture. Like an earlier reply said, there is a real dichotomy in Oxford. There's usually a good bit of tension between the groups.
If you're looking for places to meet like minded people, I'd start with the Yoknapatawpha arts council. Good bars/restaurants would be Two Stick, Ajax, City Grocery, Proud Larry's, Volta, and Lamar Lounge. You should probably check out End of All Music (the record store). The Lyric and Proud Larry's have good shows every now and then. They cater to that Oxford Dichotomy. One week Modest Mouse or Wilco playing, the next week it's some awful country musician or rapper.
Something I'm really personally excited about is the second Malco movie theater. They plan to show Indie/Art House/Foreign films in a very upscale setting. They'll have a full bar and kitchen. It's supposed to be open in the fall. It'll be a great place to spend time with friends.
As far as the gay dating scene in Oxford, I'd have to say it's still mostly underground. I live with a gay couple who met each other on Grindr. There a lot of people who are out and open, but there are still a lot of folks in the closet (especially folks from that fraternity culture) When people do come out, they are widely accepted by their peers. The bigger issue is usually the parents.
Overall, I'd say the alternative scene in Oxford is on the rise. There's been a pretty big change in the 7 years I've been here. You could probably spend a couple happy years here if you meet the right people and have work to keep you busy
ETA: I'm atheist. That's not terribly uncommon in Oxford. There's a Unitarian congregation on the outside of town.
hello.
I have recently thought about making a move to Oxford. I have family in the area and close by. I have visited every year since I was little and have kind of fallen for the small town vibe, I am 27. I am moving from Seattle. I have few questions.
I consider myself a punkish liberal white male (ear piercings, hippyish, vegetarian, nerdy, gay). I know oxford has a conservative prep style, but are there any counterculture/hippy concentrations? compared to Seattle, I expect nothing to be as high as it is here!
I am looking to move away from the rainy climate of the NW. I already have a living situation set up, with girl who is vegetarian and does yoga, but in this case that doesn't work, how much do one bedrooms usually run? im used to paying 995 for a one bedroom in Seattle. The other reason Oxford is an option is because I have heard it is cheaper to live there than Seattle and I have student loans to pay off and want to do so quickly.
I will not be studying at ole miss, but my brother, aunt and father all went there. they tried to pursuade me to study there. I was raised in the delta till I was 5 then moved to Colorado. I was in Destin, FL for ten years so I know how the vibe at least in gulfcoast fl, but having been in Seattle(super liberal, recent gay marriage and mj legalized, strong lgbt advocacy) for the past three years, I feelsomewhat disillusioned and uneducated about the true culture of Oxford. My friends and relatives tell me it is very artsy and more liberal than it would seem.
As far as public transport goes, would I have to buy a car? the person I am moving in with says no, but if I want to travel, yes. Im thinking about getting a cheap car but isnt there a bus route in the town?
I already have a support system there, friends and family, but how hard would it be for a single white gay alternative(no visible tats) 27 year old to meet people? would I be able to find friends by attending the local yoga studio? would I be harassed in oxford by the uber conservative crowds?
any lgbt support? im very lax about my sexuality and don't go around telling everyone I'm gay. Im just chilled about it and if people ask Im honest about it. If people dont like it, that is fine, just don't try to tell me I'm going to hell. any religion besides Christianity in the area? Buddhism? isn't there a Tibetan Buddhist temple in TN?
I realize oxford will not be as accepting of alternative faiths as Seattle is, but I just dont want to get harassed or called out if I casually mention I am pagan or into Jungian psychology in a bookstore or something. (We get hardcore Christians here in Seattle too, and living in FL i was used to it). speaking of Jung, I noticed there is a collection of his work at Square Books last time I was there in may, which is very cool and made me feel good. Having an artsy liberal aunt, I know there are people I can jive with in the town becuase of her friends, I just have to find my own circle.
Im not a heavy sports fan or bar goer, and I know oxford has a high sports fan base and it gets crazy during football season, which is fine. I have no plans to attend ole miss cept to audit some courses in their liberal arts division. (have a ba in liberal arts and a masters in information science)
i have not decided yet on the move, just throwing these thoughts out into cyber space.
thanks for any advice. college student opinions welcomed. thanks.
I would look elsewhere as I think you can find a better fit. Yes, Oxford isn't the same as it was 30 years ago, and the state as a whole is slowly progressing. But it's still a fraternity/conservative/old south/good ole boys dominated area. The only difference is, Oxford is one of the few areas of Mississippi where people have money. You're not going to get lynched or anything, but it's still behind places like Seattle in progressive thinking and being open minded. I think after a few months, the lack of culture and like minded individuals will get to you. Long term exposure to a populace that is predominantly ultra-conservative and religious will eventually wear on you because you are so far on the opposite side.
I just think you can find a better fit. Fwiw, I don't currently live in MS anymore, but I was born and raised their and my family is still there.
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