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Old 10-06-2014, 11:37 AM
 
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Okay, fair enough. That's definitely not my area of expertise even remotely, but was something I was curious about. Also, I can't recall ever being asked about my religion one way or the other, but I'm not saying that's true for everyone etc.
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Old 10-06-2014, 12:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by brickpatio View Post
Okay, fair enough. That's definitely not my area of expertise even remotely, but was something I was curious about. Also, I can't recall ever being asked about my religion one way or the other, but I'm not saying that's true for everyone etc.
People are not often asked about their religion...but people will go out of their way to tell anyone in a social circle if you are "different." So people will already know. People also find out by default. Again, while most people, wont ask you point blank what your religion is, most everyone has stories of being invited to religious events. Declining such things almost always eventually leads to the disclosure of the reason why.

The way you feel is part of the point I have been trying to make in this thread and others. Most people simply cant understand because it has never happened to them. That is a very fair thing. What the problem is, such people dont understand or seek to understand why it doesnt happen to them.

The answer is fairly simple, because nobody notices you when you are the "same." In your life, you have been involved in many situations that would "out" someone as different. You wouldnt even know that such a situation happened. Again, the example of being invited to a religious event or being asked to say grace or simply "where are your parents from?" To someone with a similar background as the majority in a group/area, your actions and answers are going to fall within the spectrum where no one notices anything about you and life goes on. If your actions/answers are outside of the spectrum, the "different" sirens go off in peoples heads.

Think about it like this. If you wear a suit every day to a place where people wear suits every day....no one notices your suit. We tend to live in small worlds and see things through the very fine point of view of our experiences. You are very aware you have on a suit. You are the one that must go out and buy suits, maintain suits and go through the effort of putting one on every day. You are very self aware you are in a suit. No one else really is though. No one would pay attention at all unless someone came along and was NOT in a suit. Then everyone would notice.

That is the point. People cant fathom the stories of others because even by default they fit in and the things they do dont get anyone's attention to cause them to act differently.

You and the people like you from where you are from act different around people who are not similar. You would be among the worst people to be able to identify that.
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Old 10-06-2014, 02:47 PM
 
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I get your point and think it's a great one. All I would add is that all those people you assume are the same here, are not really. Each person has her or his own cross to bear in life, (no pun intended!) and they face all manner of challenges in life which may not be apparent from the outside. Secondly, you must know that Jewish people as a generality are greatly admired, (setting aside the evangelical point earlier). You might consider that many people appreciate differences and are thrilled to have you in the state.
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Old 10-06-2014, 02:56 PM
 
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Originally Posted by brickpatio View Post
I get your point and think it's a great one. All I would add is that all those people you assume are the same here, are not really. Each person has her or his own cross to bear in life, (no pun intended!) and they face all manner of challenges in life which may not be apparent from the outside. Secondly, you must know that Jewish people as a generality are greatly admired, (setting aside the evangelical point earlier). You might consider that many people appreciate differences and are thrilled to have you in the state.
Of course everyone has their proverbial "cross to bear." My point has nothing to do with living a perfect life because you fit in.

I am simply trying to get the point across that most people, because of their experiences as being "one of" a group, cant even recognize the things that would point out who is not "one of" the group. Because of that, it is known who is different and there is a level of bias because of that.

As for the fact that some people are happy to have difference around, you bet. There are some amazing and wonderful people in Mississippi. However, it is like the parable of "poop in soup." You cant take the best soup in the world, if you put some poop in it, it is understandable that people wont want it...no matter how much you point out how great the soup is.

Mississippi seems to have a little more poop in the soup than many other places. Perhaps it isnt as much as people think....but again, no matter what argument is made, the facts of Mississippi not being able to attract or keep attracted talent, shows there is a problem. No matter how much anyone loves Mississippi and no matter how highly you think of the good things about Mississippi, there is still poop in the soup. It would ridiculous to hold that fact against he people who dont want to eat the soup with poop in it....and it does nothing to help Mississippi make great soup without poop....which is the only solution.
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Old 10-06-2014, 03:12 PM
 
Location: Somewhere flat in Mississippi
9,499 posts, read 9,367,667 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neshomamench View Post
Of course everyone has their proverbial "cross to bear." My point has nothing to do with living a perfect life because you fit in.

I am simply trying to get the point across that most people, because of their experiences as being "one of" a group, cant even recognize the things that would point out who is not "one of" the group. Because of that, it is known who is different and there is a level of bias because of that.

As for the fact that some people are happy to have difference around, you bet. There are some amazing and wonderful people in Mississippi. However, it is like the parable of "poop in soup." You cant take the best soup in the world, if you put some poop in it, it is understandable that people wont want it...no matter how much you point out how great the soup is.

Mississippi seems to have a little more poop in the soup than many other places. Perhaps it isnt as much as people think....but again, no matter what argument is made, the facts of Mississippi not being able to attract or keep attracted talent, shows there is a problem. No matter how much anyone loves Mississippi and no matter how highly you think of the good things about Mississippi, there is still poop in the soup. It would ridiculous to hold that fact against he people who dont want to eat the soup with poop in it....and it does nothing to help Mississippi make great soup without poop....which is the only solution.

Why don't you stop your kvetching and run for political office or write some letters to the editor?
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Old 10-06-2014, 03:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Mouldy Old Schmo View Post
Why don't you stop your kvetching and run for political office or write some letters to the editor?
Because I have no desire to die on this hill.

I am here because I have to be. I will enjoy what I can, and I have no problem admitting I like a lot of things in Mississippi. I will shake my head at what I dont like. And in a few years, I will leave. The sad thing is, Mississippi is the one that will lose. Mississippi has the lowest Doctor to population ratio in the country. Once again, it is 50th out of 50 in something. So, my wife has to be here. Will train here. Then, will leave...because frankly this place sucks and is hostile to difference in comparison of so many other choices we can make.

We are the ideal recruits to Mississippi. We are part of the solution to the problems mississippi has. We will provide great economic impact and really dont have any family, so we are open to the idea of being anywhere. It is actually heart breaking to us that there is no way it can be Mississippi, because that means in a few years, we will have to pack it all up and start over somewhere else.

The worst of it is, for speaking up about what is wrong...and again, the statistics of Mississippi are stronger than anyone's feelings, we are ostracized. Which means Mississippi is the bringer of its own doom. Oh well.

I am specifically here because I have been a member here for some time. Long before I ever thought I would live in Mississippi.
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Old 10-09-2014, 08:52 PM
 
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Mississippi is a fascinating place. My wife and I, who are from the Northeast but have lived in Atlanta for 14 years, visit Mississippi at least twice a year. Typically we to go to Oxford for a long weekend or to the Delta to listen to the Blues. When we tell people in Atlanta or friends in the Northeast that we're going away to Mississippi (willingly) for the weekend, some of them look at us like we're crazy.

They're the ones who are nuts...people in Mississippi are the friendliest I've ever met and I've been to 48 states and six countries. When I moved to Atlanta from eastern PA, I thought people in Atlanta were friendly, but I just hadn't been to Mississippi yet.

The food in Mississippi is great, and the culture, particularly the music, is amazing for a state that's so "backwards" and "hick".

And we're not exactly the type of people that "stereotypically" would fit in in Mississippi with clear Yankee accents, and we're not religious at all.

People in Oxford and Clarksdale (and Natchez, Tupelo when we less frequently visit those towns) are extremely hospitable. Sure, I'm sure there are plenty of jerks in Mississippi like there are everywhere, but compared to people in Northeast who will curse at you just for existing, Mississippi is great.

I could possibly see myself retiring in Mississippi someday.

That said, we only visit for a few days and then leave. I wonder if our experience would be the same if we tried living in Mississippi? That is...would our "outsider" status and lack of religious affiliation wash away people's friendly "veneer" and make it difficult for us to fit in? I ask because there are some on this thread who imply that we'd have a miserable time fitting in as outsiders.
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Old 10-10-2014, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
1,057 posts, read 2,106,531 times
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Originally Posted by jpk1292000 View Post
Mississippi is a fascinating place. My wife and I, who are from the Northeast but have lived in Atlanta for 14 years, visit Mississippi at least twice a year. Typically we to go to Oxford for a long weekend or to the Delta to listen to the Blues. When we tell people in Atlanta or friends in the Northeast that we're going away to Mississippi (willingly) for the weekend, some of them look at us like we're crazy.

They're the ones who are nuts...people in Mississippi are the friendliest I've ever met and I've been to 48 states and six countries. When I moved to Atlanta from eastern PA, I thought people in Atlanta were friendly, but I just hadn't been to Mississippi yet.

The food in Mississippi is great, and the culture, particularly the music, is amazing for a state that's so "backwards" and "hick".

And we're not exactly the type of people that "stereotypically" would fit in in Mississippi with clear Yankee accents, and we're not religious at all.

People in Oxford and Clarksdale (and Natchez, Tupelo when we less frequently visit those towns) are extremely hospitable. Sure, I'm sure there are plenty of jerks in Mississippi like there are everywhere, but compared to people in Northeast who will curse at you just for existing, Mississippi is great.

I could possibly see myself retiring in Mississippi someday.

That said, we only visit for a few days and then leave. I wonder if our experience would be the same if we tried living in Mississippi? That is...would our "outsider" status and lack of religious affiliation wash away people's friendly "veneer" and make it difficult for us to fit in? I ask because there are some on this thread who imply that we'd have a miserable time fitting in as outsiders.
I can only speak for myself, but I wouldn't look at you any differently than someone born and raised here. My wife was born and raised in Belize, but she has been here 25 years. She is just as Southern and American as I am! I do have to explain some of the Southern colloquialisms to her now and then though... hehe.
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Old 10-10-2014, 08:14 PM
 
Location: Here, There, & Everywhere
26 posts, read 26,360 times
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Originally Posted by annie_himself View Post
Have you visited the delta? You think that the people there deserve to live like that? That nothing is wrong and they accept the poverty? Liberal has nothing to do with it, throwing that around has done nothing.
As I said, I've been all over Mississippi.

It honestly doesn't take much to relocate if you don't like a place. As a child fresh out of high school, I worked minimum wages jobs in Florida and finally had enough, I packed up my belongings in the terrible car I owned and set out for Tennessee. It wasn't easy, there were times I slept in my car. Eventually that led me to Louisiana, and currently Texas. I wasn't born with a silver spoon and in my late teens/early 20's, I didn't make too much more than $10.00/hour, but I still managed to pull myself out of poverty.

Truth be told, the government allows a pell grant program that basically covers the entire cost of a college education at a community college for those in poverty. The excuse that anyone "has to live like that" is tired and played out. There is enough opportunity for every single person in this country to change their situation if they don't like it.

That said, I'm far from a conservative teabagger, and I'm certainly not a California liberal either. What I said in my comment is true and it very much has to do with "liberal." There are too many "do-gooder" types that see people living in what they perceive as poverty, or an area that has virtually no diversity and they think to themselves "Oh, that poor person! we should help them out!" they automatically try to change things to make things better and it almost always makes things worse. Do you not think that people who live the way they live may like it? Could they not have had a family that lived that way for generation after generation and be happily content?

That's what has to do with "liberal." Most conservatives like things to stay the same and keep the status quo. Liberals are all about "change" and trying to make things "better." Look at our country, what's better now than it was six years ago? Absolutely nothing.
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Old 10-10-2014, 11:21 PM
 
Location: Denver
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Originally Posted by FLTNLATX View Post
As I said, I've been all over Mississippi.

It honestly doesn't take much to relocate if you don't like a place. As a child fresh out of high school, I worked minimum wages jobs in Florida and finally had enough, I packed up my belongings in the terrible car I owned and set out for Tennessee. It wasn't easy, there were times I slept in my car. Eventually that led me to Louisiana, and currently Texas. I wasn't born with a silver spoon and in my late teens/early 20's, I didn't make too much more than $10.00/hour, but I still managed to pull myself out of poverty.
Everyone isn't you. JR Rowling was homeless and was a billionaire at one point. Why aren't you a billionaire?
Quote:
Truth be told, the government allows a pell grant program that basically covers the entire cost of a college education at a community college for those in poverty. The excuse that anyone "has to live like that" is tired and played out. There is enough opportunity for every single person in this country to change their situation if they don't like it.
No their isn't. It takes an education of some sort to learn these things. I was blessed with a caring mother and a deadbeat father, I'm very much self educated. If it weren't for my mom and my love to learn personality, I'd probably be selling drugs or dead. The Pell Grant doesn't cover books, transportation, boarding, etc that becomes a huge problem.
Quote:
That said, I'm far from a conservative teabagger, and I'm certainly not a California liberal either. What I said in my comment is true and it very much has to do with "liberal." There are too many "do-gooder" types that see people living in what they perceive as poverty, or an area that has virtually no diversity and they think to themselves "Oh, that poor person! we should help them out!" they automatically try to change things to make things better and it almost always makes things worse. Do you not think that people who live the way they live may like it? Could they not have had a family that lived that way for generation after generation and be happily content?
How many people have you asked in Hollandale or Cleveland that loved being poor? I can tell you I have met 0. People love the country, people don't love being poor and struggling.
Do you consider the poorest part of the nation to not be poor? Have you spent time there, have you slept there, have you grown up with people from the Delta? I have.
Quote:
That's what has to do with "liberal." Most conservatives like things to stay the same and keep the status quo. Liberals are all about "change" and trying to make things "better." Look at our country, what's better now than it was six years ago? Absolutely nothing.
LMAO. If the conservatives of 1810 had their way, I'd be chained up in a shack waiting to pick cotton at 4am in the morning. If there was no change I'd be in an all black ghetto where I'm forced to live, if there was no change I couldn't vote for any political office. I really can't believe I have to explain this to a grown man. If there was no change I wouldn't be allowed to speak to any of these white people this way. I would have been killed for dating my white girlfriend in high school. I wouldn't be able to do ANYTHING as a human and you say change is bad?!

Yes let's look at our country, Bush blew threw a budget surplus, sent us to our longest war over oil, raised our taxes, etc. Gas was at like $2/gallon now it's back up (low gas prices is actually a bad thing, btw). The stock market is at an all time high, GM didn't close, and our deficit has be shrinking. Yes, we are better off than we were years ago when people were losing homes left and right.
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