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Old 11-30-2014, 04:03 PM
2 posts, read 4,478 times
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We are two men in the upper Midwest in our early sixties thinking about buying a place on the Gulf Coast as a winter getaway now and a possible full time place in retirement. We have family in Baton Rouge but would prefer to be nearer the coast so Bay St Louis to Ocean Springs a seems to be the best bet. As a same-sex couple, white and Hispanic, together for 30 years and legally married in most states.....but none of them on the Gulf Coast, are we crazy to think about the MS coast? We are very "mainstream" and pretty private, not at all religious but do-gooder liberals. We've generally done OK visiting BR and other places in the South, but have had young guys in pickups yell at us, etc. How would a bicultural, gay couple be received moving into a 55+ community or just a quiet neighborhood along the coast? Is Ocean Springs really much different than the rest of the coast? Thanks.
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Old 11-30-2014, 07:09 PM
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I'm pretty sure Bay St. Louis was the first or second city in the state to pass a proclamation last year affirming the rights of all people regardless of orientation. It's known for being artsy and maybe a little quirky. And it's beautiful!

Pass Christian was one of America's original homes for yachting. The beachside mansions will melt in your mouth. No place like this is going to have people yelling out at you from their truck . Just off the beach it becomes fairly modest and semi-rural actually, so it's not pretentious or anything like that. Neighboring Long Beach is middle class and quiet. Much of the beachfront hasn't had the houses replaced yet, and it would be a great place to build a cool, modernist-coastal-French home up on stilts a couple of blocks from the beach.

Biloxi and Gulfport are the main commercial areas and have several military bases which might sound conservative but not really; these are people from all over the country and from all walks of life. Ditto for the casinos and also for the fishing industry.

Over in Ocean Springs, it's also artsy but compared to Bay St. Louis, Ocean Springs seems more in the middle of things, larger, and sophisticated (particularly in bustling downtown Main street area and near the beach). The Walter Anderson Museum is there and it's a quick boat road over to idealic Horn Island.

None of these areas is going to be Dupont Circle or Adams-Morgan in D.C., but overall the coast has a live and let live vibe.
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Old 11-30-2014, 07:54 PM
Location: NE Mississippi
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Yeah. I second the Bay St Louis thing.

There are plenty of cottages for rent there. We go there every couple of years in the Spring. I recommend you book a cottage and spend a week there. Rent a bike. Watch the kids fish. Have breakfast outdoors. Walk.
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Old 11-30-2014, 11:34 PM
Location: Lake Oswego, Manhattan, Aspen
3,228 posts, read 4,190,244 times
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I've had too many Gay friends report extreme homophobia during 'one-and-only trips to the Coast', to think that you would be making a wise choice in moving to Mississippi's Coast. And that area has always been considered scroungy and nasty, by pretty-much the entire middle class population of the rest of Mississippi. Historically, it's been where men went, when they wanted to gamble and consort with hookers. Anyway, if someone spends two hours on the Coast, and has a rude encounter with a homophobe... and everyone you know who's Gay and has been there has had one or more encounters like that - during equally brief 'stays', then I have to conclude that it's not a friendly place for Gays. Truly: people from the rest of Mississippi love Pensacola's beaches. But sometimes you get rained-out, and decide to head for New Orleans. On the way, you stop and do one thing or another, on Mississippi's Coast. Well, my GAY friends generally have regretted stopping, and have been vowing to never do so, ever again. I've been hearing about their unpleasant experiences there since I was seventeen.

Of course, maybe you won't mind walking down the beach and having someone come up to you and say, "Mister, you're SICK!", or have 'minorities' point at you and make fun of you like you're a monkey in a cage at the zoo. And gay-bashings have long been standard fare, in working class communities from Pascagoula to Slidell. The two big religions down there are rabidly anti-Gay, and the less intelligent among their communicants feel empowered to express their religious views through violence. That is NOT how people behave in the rest of Mississippi. It's one more reason why The Coast is considered "its own world".

Yeah, you can live in the better communities. But can you be sure you'll ALWAYS be able to totally stay within those enlightened and Gay-friendly places? You never need to run to WalMart? Never need to go to a clinic in a non-enlightened area?

I think that Saint Tammany Parish in Louisiana will be far better for you. The people are really kind, and it's basically the one good part of the New Orleans Metro (there are good streets in other parts of NO,... but two blocks over...). It's where the winners live. And the world's longest bridge lies between you and the criminal element of New Orleans. You'll be rubbing shoulders with the best students from the best Catholic schools: people with flawless manners - as courteous and gracious as most New Orleans people are rude and hateful. Plenty of people make that one-hour commute to the city, in order that their families might be insulated from New Orleans nastiness. And Mississippi's Gulf Coast is really just an extension of the nasty part of New Orleans.

Gay People and bisexual couples have been retiring from New Orleans to the North Shore (Saint Tammany) for half-a-century, along with literati like Walker Percy. Downtown Covington is really quaint, and quite walkable. Covington, Mandeville, and Madisonville are all great.

You also might want to consider Natchez, which is full of Gay people and bisexual couples.

If I were you, I would buy a condo in Lost Rabbit, on the good side of the Jackson Metro. The Town of Lost Rabbit It's adjacent Madison, the state's Premier Community (and a 'certified retirement community'). If you're from the Upper Midwest, you know how much climate can be improved by being on the good side of a large body of water. At Lost Rabbit, the prevailing winds travel across 'The Ross Barnett Memorial Reservoir' (that awful name sounds like a sewage treatment plant, but actually it's a large and beautiful man-made lake), and so the microclimate is quite salubrious. Right now, you may be able to pick up a bargain. That will probably not be the case for long. Madison has a sizeable Gay population, who, just like you, are not "mainstream" (my Decorator and Ad Man both live in Madison, and neither even know whether Jackson has Gay bars or not: that's how "not mainstream" they are), and are very private. Most people in Madison, regardless of orientation, are very private. The only way anyone even knows there are Gays there, is that the social networking sites show virtually every desirable Gay man in the metro area as living in Madison: "I thought I was the only one here. I never see anyone who looks Gay. But look at this, Gloria..." (and then he shows me a site with profile after profile of one eye-poppingly muscular chest after another, shot in the kind of master baths you see in new McMansions in Madison. ALL the really hot guys with money are in Madison....although they never see each other there, since everybody is either working or at the gym...).

There's no "scene" in Madison. People move to Madison for the supreme safety it offers, and for the quiet. The "scene" in Jackson is best avoided. But healthcare options ABOUND in and around Madison (all the clinics are moving there, to get at that Madison Money), and should you need to go into assisted living, etc., the options seem really good. Madison offers a Beverly Hills lifestyle, at Mississippi prices. And 'Our Dear Babette', who moved from Lake Oswego to Madison about a year back, has been sending me pics of some roses still in bloom, and her camellias, which are gorgeous, and will be blooming through April. It's easy to have a wonderful winter garden in Central Mississippi. Osmanthus, Winter Honeysuckle, Camellias, Loquats, pansies, snapdragons, paperwhites... And there are plenty of Shorts-&-Polos days, even in January.

Too, you'd never run out of great nearby places to have lunch. The Strawberry Cafe - Restaurant / Bar - Madison, MS and Babalu and BRAVO! | Italian Restaurant and Bar and http://s.lnimg.com/photo/poster_768/...05d658168e.jpg (Corner Bakery, Madison) and https://www.facebook.com/beaglebagelmadison... and those are just for starters. The town has the World's Most Beautiful Kroger: Joniopolis: Gotta Love the South, a WalMart that's prettier than most of Rodeo Drive http://pics4.city-data.com/cpicv/vfiles42993.jpg (it's even in an Urban Planning history book), a CVS pharmacy on a Verde Marble base, and the World's Most Gorgeous Steinmart http://www.city-data.com/forum/attac...rt-madison.jpg

Nearby fitness options will have you rubbing shoulders with movie stars and off-season pro athletes: Mississippi Sports Performance | Madison Healthplex Performance Center and http://sportsmedproperties.com/wp-co...es_MADISON.png and The Club at The Township Naturally, there are plenty of personal trainers who will train you in your home gym, if you've got the bucks. Some of the most beautiful men in the world (https://www.pinterest.com/iiqtkimii/...fitness-model/) are personal trainers in Mississippi (h-Steven_Webb1.jpg Photo by deetrakt | Photobucket - and no, that's not morphed...).

Oh, and if you wanted to buy an older ranch-style house in Madison (or a new McMansion or patio home there) there are top-notch landscape services, owned by people with serious degrees in such things, who will keep your property for you, to standards you'd expect in San Francisco or Seattle. It's as easy as owning a condo.

Or, maybe you should consider River Ranch, in Lafayette (La). You could work out at Red's, the best gym on the entire planet. That, alone, is reason enough for moving there, but Acadiana offers many other inducements...
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Old 12-01-2014, 08:17 PM
806 posts, read 771,231 times
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Yes, the 'Sip is the place for you! We are very tolerant, liberal and gay friendly (don't let the amendment defining marriage as "one man to one women" passing with 84% of the popular vote fool you).

I'm sure there will be gay pride parades happening weekly on the coast, it will be just like San Francisco without the pesky traffic and unaffordable rent.

Be sure to adorn your vehicle with the following stickers; rainbow, eRacism, tolerance (with the crescent symbol) and lastly an Obama 2012 (wouldn't hurt to slap on a Hillary 16 while you are at it). The locals will want to celebrate your diversity with you!

All joking aside, as Gloria stated, the NOLA metro is likely a better place. I'm sure there are pockets of openly gay populations around NOLA, you will not find that anywhere in Mississippi. Natchez has long been rumored as having a gay population; however, you will not see any outwardly gay couples there, plus it is eat up with poverty. Hattiesburg is rumored to have an underground gay population (supposedly due to theatre majors attending USM), I have no idea if this is true. Again you will not find many openly gay people there.

You will be just as fine in Mississippi as anywhere as long as you refrain from PDA with your same sex honey and stay out of questionable areas.

Last edited by viverlibre; 12-01-2014 at 08:39 PM..
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Old 12-31-2014, 10:44 PM
2 posts, read 4,478 times
Reputation: 20
Default Thanks everyone

We appreciate the info. We had thought about St Tammany Parish but know it's politically very conservative so we're a little surprised that we might be OK there. We hadn't heard much of anything good or bad about Bay sT Louis, so thanks for mentioning that. It's about as close to NOLA and BR as you can get and still be on the coast, so we might look more into that. I'm sure Madison MS is nice, but we really want to be closer to beaches. We recently learned our marriage will be recognized in Florida, so we might move our focus all the way down to Tampa Bay. It's farther, but warmer in winter and would give us some legal protections. If the US Supreme Court extends that nationwide, we might look more at St Tammany and Bay St Louis. Thanks again.
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Old 01-01-2015, 04:50 PM
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A judge in Mississippi just struck down the laws against marriage in MS, thereby legalizing a divorce proceeding of two individuals of the same gender who had originally gotten married in CA. In other words, in order to accept a divorce proceeding, the state must recognize the validity of the marriage in the first place. And that judge decided the state must do just that, legally recognizing the marriage that occurred in California.

I got the impression that younger judges (one African-American in MS and one female Caucasian in AR) are implying that the government can't selectively apply laws to people based on some inherent physical trait (skin pigmentation, sexual response), which sounds to me like they are viewing individuals in relationships with others of the same gender as based on an inherent physical trait (i.e. that people can't really impact one way or the other presumably), rather than focusing on physical behavior of having the relationship.
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Old 01-01-2015, 08:22 PM
806 posts, read 771,231 times
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The Supreme Court will enventually rule on this. I have know idea which way they wil go. Marriage has always been a state to state thing (i.e., some states reconigize common law, some don't).
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Old 01-04-2015, 07:34 AM
Location: Floribama
14,774 posts, read 31,200,459 times
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Ovelho, why not look at Navarre or Gulf Breeze? It's a heck of a lot closer to Baton Rouge than Tampa, and there's lots of Midwesterners in the panhandle.
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Old 01-07-2015, 04:00 PM
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Bay St. Louis isn't a bad place. You'll be about a half-hour from Gulfport, and about 45 minutes to New Orleans. Baton Rouge is less than two hours away. Just across the state line from BSL is Slidell. That could be an alternative for you as well.
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