If moving to Jackson metro area, know this... (Ridgeland, Madison: relocating, housing)

[Ellygirl67]

My husband and I moved here due to a job transfer in 2000. While visiting, people were very friendly and welcoming, however, once you get here they change! The southern hospitality only extends to VISITORS. Once you live here you are an outcast if coming from outside MS. All of our friends are transplants as well because those who have lived here all their lives have their own cliques and don't know how to reach out. Also, there is an attitude of "have" and "have not" here. Very "old school" attitudes and steeped in tradition. You will feel like you have gone back twenty years if you are from a more progressive area. My husband is a successful executive and we live in a very beautiful custom built home on the lake, however, that does not warrant inclusion. "Your daddy had to know my daddy and his daddy had to know your daddy's daddy" is more important. (i.e. snobby and "who's who" attitude). Our child goes to private school, which is another funny thing. All the supposedly "have's" must have their children in private school. The schools here are not good, even the ones that claim to be good. The best one's are at least a year or two behind other state's "good" school systems. Crime is horrendous in Jackson (even worse than the Bronx in NY) and customer service is horrible as well, since these people don't know the meaning of true hospitality. You will find shopping carts scattered around parking lots rather than returned to the stalls, and people racing you to get to the closest parking space. I was amazed that Madison was ranked one of the 10 best cities for families because I was actually humiliated to have visitors from out of town. Yes, of all the area's around Jackson, Madison and Ridgeland are the nicest, but even here the landscaping and roads are horrific. Pot holes and weeds line the streets. We are nature lovers, but there is only one nature trail around. There isn't much to do around here to be honest. The few nice things about living here are: the tall pine trees, lots of lakes and ponds, and weather in the Spring and Fall. Winters are okay, but summers are humid and unbearable. Sorry if I sound really negative (I'm generally a very positive person!) I just wanted everyone to have a realistic picture of what they are coming into before moving. If you are superficial, steeped in tradition, and from a smaller southern town, you may like it. However, if you want authenticity and true beauty, and from a larger metropolitan area, you will probably want to look elsewhere. Hope this helps anyone thinking of relocating to the Jackson metropolitan area!

[Sam I Am]

Humiliated...in Madison...you're kidding, right? It's a lovely town that has retained the small town look by design. Not the design of New York or Chicago or wherever it is that is so much more wonderful, but by good small town traditions. Great golf courses, very clean, good schools.

Hmmm. I've heard people describe themselves as a lot of things if they were from or live in Madison...but humiliated wasn't one of them. I was raised in Belhaven and north Jackson, and I am far from feeling humiliated at having come from central Mississippi.

[williboy]

Originally Posted by Ellygirl67

My husband and I moved here due to a job transfer in 2000. While visiting, people were very friendly and welcoming, however, once you get here they change! The southern hospitality only extends to VISITORS. Once you live here you are an outcast if coming from outside MS. All of our friends are transplants as well because those who have lived here all their lives have their own cliques and don't know how to reach out. Also, there is an attitude of "have" and "have not" here. Very "old school" attitudes and steeped in tradition. You will feel like you have gone back twenty years if you are from a more progressive area. My husband is a successful executive and we live in a very beautiful custom built home on the lake, however, that does not warrant inclusion. "Your daddy had to know my daddy and his daddy had to know your daddy's daddy" is more important. (i.e. snobby and "who's who" attitude). Our child goes to private school, which is another funny thing. All the supposedly "have's" must have their children in private school. The schools here are not good, even the ones that claim to be good. The best one's are at least a year or two behind other state's "good" school systems. Crime is horrendous in Jackson (even worse than the Bronx in NY) and customer service is horrible as well, since these people don't know the meaning of true hospitality. You will find shopping carts scattered around parking lots rather than returned to the stalls, and people racing you to get to the closest parking space. I was amazed that Madison was ranked one of the 10 best cities for families because I was actually humiliated to have visitors from out of town. Yes, of all the area's around Jackson, Madison and Ridgeland are the nicest, but even here the landscaping and roads are horrific. Pot holes and weeds line the streets. We are nature lovers, but there is only one nature trail around. There isn't much to do around here to be honest. The few nice things about living here are: the tall pine trees, lots of lakes and ponds, and weather in the Spring and Fall. Winters are okay, but summers are humid and unbearable. Sorry if I sound really negative (I'm generally a very positive person!) I just wanted everyone to have a realistic picture of what they are coming into before moving. If you are superficial, steeped in tradition, and from a smaller southern town, you may like it. However, if you want authenticity and true beauty, and from a larger metropolitan area, you will probably want to look elsewhere. Hope this helps anyone thinking of relocating to the Jackson metropolitan area!

Talk about superficial, it's a shame you can't read your own piece from a more objective viewpoint. I've been to the area you are talking about and thought it was lovely. You live in a custom home that I'm sure you really made out on because of the low housing cost. The area is, admittedly, not a hub of excitement, but it has it's own charms. Take up golf, start fishing, buy a boat and impress your visitors with some boating and fishing on that pretty resevoir.

[jsherman9901]

Originally Posted by Ellygirl67

Also, there is an attitude of "have" and "have not" here........ My husband is a successful executive and we live in a very beautiful custom built home on the lake, however, that does not warrant inclusion.

You are talking out of both sides of your mouth. You complain about a supposed "have vs. have not" mentality, but then complain because you are not automatically "included", even though you are one of the "haves".

Don't expect people to just drop everything and fall at your feet trying to please you; most people have very full lives already. If you want to feel accepted, then get involved. Church, civic organizations, clubs, planning committes for local events, etc. People are going to have to get to know you before they will accept you. And it's not just Jackson, or Mississippi, that is like that. Most places I have ever lived have been the same way.

[auntbee]

I can't imagine anyone being so miserable living in Madison. I also don't understand why your kids have to go to private school there. I know lots of people who live there and their kids don't go to private school. The schools are excellent. I'm not originally from small town Mississippi. I grew up all over the world. I do live in a small town now and I actually see some of the things you mentioned here, but never in the Jackson area. I think you have to have grown up in this town to fit in. I'm hoping to move back down there soon.

[darhe3425]

I had to go back and read this post cause nothing of what she has said seems to considered serious. From the posts it seems she is just complaining about nothing. Now, I know I will get "into trouble" with this but I agree. She is absolutley correct in her observations as someone who has come to the great state of mississippi, and dared to criticize it. Mississippians don't take to criticisms from outsiders especially, nor from insiders. The lack of hospitality is clearly evident to those who move here. Hospitality IS reserved those traveling through, however, when you move here that hospitality leak quickly dries up. You are an outsider...even though you are clearly from the continent of North America. But, unfortunately, (and I am speaking from experience, not malice) that is what transplants experience. Why cannot anyone not bandwagon, but just acknowledge that Mississippi is a closed society, open only to those who don't behave differently than those who were "born and raised here," behave? I acknowledge that her experiences are true, and what the heck are people doing other than denying them?

[oldenfatt]

Have you ever considered that the reason you aren't embraced by the community isn't the fault of the community? Maybe a long look into a mirror might help...

[alley06]

Then I too must share that same therapist. I usually just read the posts instead of posting, but this one I have to step in and agree on. Lived here for almost 2 yrs and yes it does have it's positive sides but it also has negative ones. Just like any place you go. Most people who were born and raised here refuse to see the negatives from a "newbies" point of view. Instead they jump in and start bashing and putting others down because they are sharing what they have experienced.

[darylwi]

Originally Posted by alley06

Then I too must share that same therapist. I usually just read the posts instead of posting, but this one I have to step in and agree on. Lived here for almost 2 yrs and yes it does have it's positive sides but it also has negative ones. Just like any place you go. Most people who were born and raised here refuse to see the negatives from a "newbies" point of view. Instead they jump in and start bashing and putting others down because they are sharing what they have experienced.

Ditto.
I was born and raised in central MS. I didn't leave because it was bad but just thought there was something better. The general population (not everybody) does not open up really well to outsiders who move into the area. Heck, they don't care much for you once they find out you've left them behind. And then others don't know what to do with people like me (who lived there forever, but moved away, and still have family interest or ties there). Some try to get me to fit in with their scheme, and others shun me away immediately. Meanwhile I don't attempt to fit into their scheme because I've found my own, and they don't like it.
It's a different sort of society if you're not originally from there or not already used to it where you came from.

[ministers]

Originally Posted by Ellygirl67

My husband and I moved here due to a job transfer in 2000. While visiting, people were very friendly and welcoming, however, once you get here they change! The southern hospitality only extends to VISITORS. Once you live here you are an outcast if coming from outside MS. All of our friends are transplants as well because those who have lived here all their lives have their own cliques and don't know how to reach out. Also, there is an attitude of "have" and "have not" here. Very "old school" attitudes and steeped in tradition. You will feel like you have gone back twenty years if you are from a more progressive area. My husband is a successful executive and we live in a very beautiful custom built home on the lake, however, that does not warrant inclusion. "Your daddy had to know my daddy and his daddy had to know your daddy's daddy" is more important. (i.e. snobby and "who's who" attitude). Our child goes to private school, which is another funny thing. All the supposedly "have's" must have their children in private school. The schools here are not good, even the ones that claim to be good. The best one's are at least a year or two behind other state's "good" school systems. Crime is horrendous in Jackson (even worse than the Bronx in NY) and customer service is horrible as well, since these people don't know the meaning of true hospitality. You will find shopping carts scattered around parking lots rather than returned to the stalls, and people racing you to get to the closest parking space. I was amazed that Madison was ranked one of the 10 best cities for families because I was actually humiliated to have visitors from out of town. Yes, of all the area's around Jackson, Madison and Ridgeland are the nicest, but even here the landscaping and roads are horrific. Pot holes and weeds line the streets. We are nature lovers, but there is only one nature trail around. There isn't much to do around here to be honest. The few nice things about living here are: the tall pine trees, lots of lakes and ponds, and weather in the Spring and Fall. Winters are okay, but summers are humid and unbearable. Sorry if I sound really negative (I'm generally a very positive person!) I just wanted everyone to have a realistic picture of what they are coming into before moving. If you are superficial, steeped in tradition, and from a smaller southern town, you may like it. However, if you want authenticity and true beauty, and from a larger metropolitan area, you will probably want to look elsewhere. Hope this helps anyone thinking of relocating to the Jackson metropolitan area!

Wow, that is really sad. My husband saw this show and they were telling him how kids that our not from an area tend to get treated badly because they are new. It sounds like that is what is happening to you guys. That is really hard because I am from Wisconsin and was thinking about relocating to the Madison/Ridgeland area, but it is hard to accomplish anything if people are cliquey, you know what I mean. My husband and I are ministers, I hope people would not reject us just because we are not southerners. My parents are but I was born and raised in the north. I noticed all the times I visited down there, they were so nice. I wonder how it would be if we moved down there. I can handle it but I wonder about my kids. Send me a private message, I'm concerned about relocating there.