Easily Depressed living in Mississippi... Please help before we go crazy! (Jackson: fit in, crime)

[sassyfrass]

Tyeebeacon, I have been to Atlanta, New York and just flew back from Boston last week. It is so slow in Mississippi it is scary. I grew up just 4 hours from here, but with with my husband up north then we settled in St. Louis for a while. No I don't think it takes longer than a year to make a place your home. In fact if you live somewhere a year and still are unhappy that lets you know time to start looking elsewhere. I'm not a partier, so that doesn't upset me that there are no clubs, however, we are very outdoor/active type people that enjoy going to numerous parks. Unless you want to hit up Natchez Trace everyday, there are no decent parks. Honestly we wrote down every positive and every negative of living in MS. The positives were-warm winters, beautiful homes, uh... and that was about it. We had to flip the page over for negatives. I'm sure the coast it much more livable area though...

[sassyfrass]

jbub, YES we remember being told how all those cities were within 2 hours, however, you want to like the place you live in, not all the places that you can drive to within a few hours. We have been to all those places since living here and that's nice, but I'd much rather enjoy everyday than 1 weekend out of the month. I totally agree as an educator it is totally not the school systems job to prepare my child's mind for the future, MS is a prime example. However, I do expect my child to be taught phonics properly and not come out of lower elementary still not being able to read.... Do you know in MS you can easily be hired without a teaching license...??? I'm totally in awe of the school system... I believe whenever we move within the next couples years we will be crazy happy as well to see it in our rearview mirrors but all we will miss will be the warm winters (and our few friends)...

[Mrss]

If you're BORED that quickly, perhaps you have lost the ability to use your imagination. I'm a city person as well - and I lasted 9 years in a town of only 5,000 people. It took me about 6 years to get bored, and while I understand how you feel, I think you're freaking out WAY too fast. Perhaps you are being closed-minded or even a bit more snobbish than you mean to be. The duller your locale, the more you must make it your job to become fascinating. Read up on the history, geography, culture, customs and cuisine of the area so that you better understand and respect it. You sound like city people and yet you are THAT scared of Jackson based on hearsay? For heaven's sake get in your car some Saturday morning and go see for yourself. I have no idea what's there, but Saturday mornings in a locked car with a full gas tank and a map ought to give you enough confidence to explore. If people bore you or their opinions offend you, take it as an opportunity to learn grace and patience without being phony. Try to learn to be engaging enough to make a conversation with anyone you meet interesting. Everyone knows something worthwhile that you don't know, and they'll be happy to talk about that subject if you can just engage them. Whatever you do, AVOID negative people at all costs, and don't compare everything you see and everyone you meet to your former town. You may have to look harder to find them, but every town has fun-loving people. (As long as you don't believe that everyone else must be at least 90% just like you and that you'll work on the other 10% before you'll bother with them.) Enjoy life as a couple - throw dinner parties at your house that are so great that YOUR place becomes THE place to be. Don't be "too cool" to suggest board games, old fashioned games like charades or cards. Order Netflix and educate yourself with documentaries, or have mini film festivals at home. Take up a new hobby that you wouldn't have the time to pursue in a bigger city. Find a way to earn another degree while you're there (with internet that's easier than every.) Plan some nice trips away (even if they are just inexpensive road trips) so you have something to look forward to. Make your home as beautiful as possible. AND -- if you feel so inspired, Figure out HOW you can MAKE A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE in that town while you're there. Life is short - write your own story and enjoy every chapter! Celebrate this opportunity to grow and broaden your map of the world. One day you will move and then you may (amazingly) miss things about Mississippi.

[Chicagoland60426]

Since you are a big city type person, just move to the Chicago area , Atlanta, Los Angeles, New York, or any large metro area. I live in the Chicago area and I can't imagine myself living in Mississippi because its too slow for me. Even the suburbs of Chicago have more traffic and more things to do than the whole Jackson area. So if i was you, I move right away because it seems like you are bored out of your mine living in Mississippi.

[Tama]

Excellent suggestions Mrss--
Age and lifestyle are factors. If you are just in your early 20s and looking for diverse constant entertainment, major-league teams, and theatres with world-class performances, you need the big city. But as people head toward their 30s and buy a home and get involved in careers there is less time for that and a smaller city can offer enough.

Imagine yourself in two years with a great job, lovely home, a garden in which to design and plant, a pool to use for most months of the year, a couple of doggies, some good friends, outdoor living, sports and arts tickets, and an airport that can take you anywhere in the world.

First of all, with the internet, anything you desire can be sent to your door. Maybe you can't learn to ski, but you could take ski trips. You could learn kayaking, bike trailing, golf, hiking, Irish dancing, birding, or canoeing.

There is a great bookstore in Jackson, lots of events including the opera and ballet and baseball. Beautiful beaches in Florida and Alabama are four to five hours easy driving. Learn to sail or boat. Visit the state parks--google them--there are many. Go to Branson-it is actually good-visit Hot Springs, Ark and the Ozarks-beautiful. Fly to Atlanta in under an hour a few times a year. Take weekend day trips. See the battlefields, the gardens(Bellingrath for one)-do Plantation Road in Louisiana. Visit Natchez for pilgrimmage.

Visit the coast or Vicksburg and spend some money on the slots every now and then. There are restaurants all over the South that could be destinations. (Gas prices are indeed a problem but the cost of living and the congestion and time involved in day to day travel may not be much less in a metro area.) It used to take me well over an hour and a half to visit friends on the other side of town when I lived in Phila.

In other words, if you have a good job opportunity you can build a life not much different from someone in Chicago. Day to day examine the activities of someone in each place and there is little difference. I learned that after a lot of fretting about the "silence" of the smaller town.

Mississippi Opera welcomes you to the 2008-09 season
About Jackson, MS

[Chicagoland60426]

Ok person is not talking about the south as a whole, but Mississippi. In reality, people not going to fly or drive all over the south for some entertainment thats a waste of alot of money and gas. In reality, Mississippi not going to give him endless entertainment. If the person is bored to death in Mississippi, that person have no chose but to move to a much bigger metro area like Chicago. Chicago's downtown by itself probably have more entertainment than the whole Mississippi.

[tyeebeacon]

Sassyfrass, one more thing, I am not certain about the schools where you live however, both of my children attended public schools on the coast and when we relocated to NY state after katrina my son was in 8th grade and daughter in 6th they both were able to acclimate quickly, make good grades and I am happy to say my son was in advanced math, history, science, and language arts and every year has made great grades, he took the ACT in 7th grade as part of the TIP program and scored a 22, recently in 10th he scored a 25. Not bad for a public MS school. My son plays saxaphone, guitar and loves to read. My daughter loves art and photography. I think as for myself I have had good luck with MS public schools. I also enjoy outdoor activities, I have to say NY state defenitely has more hiking trails, etc. But I guess I became able to enjoy outdoors in MS on a different level, gardening, organic for a much longer season and walks on the beach at night time were my main past times for outdoor, but like you said if you are not happy you had better go ahead and relocate now, maybe you would be happier. I fully understand. But, if you are planning on a family and dedicated to your child's education I do not think that you will find it as bad as everyone makes it out to be. I also went to college at USM a public college in MS and never felt that I received a second rate education either. I got my masters degree in Florida and felt I was well prepared. So, really do not let the statistics of being last in education really get you down, because a lot of the reasons that MS always comes in last also is because MS has a very high drop out rate. This of course makes me cringe, but, only speaking from my own experience with my kids I felt they got a pretty good start of an education and do not feel that they are at risk of dropping out. It sounds like you would also be an advocate for your child's education so, I doubt that your child would fall too far behind the national average. One other thing I can say about the public schools my kids had on the coast, the teachers always encouraged politness towards adults and others which on some level I have found is not as highly advocated for up in NY state. Good luck with your decisions I fully support your choice to move if that is what you think is best.

[Thriftygal]

Mississippi may be slow paced, but the people are not slow. The public school systems here are just as good as anywhere else. It is all what you make of it.

As Mrss said, you have to get out and explore the area. There are 54 parks in the Jackson area, Mynelle gardens, the zoo. And
Fire Museum
Galloway House
Jackson Generals
Jackson Municipal Art Gallery
Jackson State University
Jackson Zoological Park
Medgar Evers Museum
Metropolitan Chamber Orchestra
Mississippi Coliseum & Fairgrounds
Mississippi Museum of Art
Mississippi Museum of Natural History
Mississippi Opera Association
Mississippi Sports Hall of Fame
Mississippi Symphony Orchestra
Mynelle Gardens
Oaks House Museum
Old Capitol Museum of Mississippi History
Planetarium and Space Theater
State Capitol Building

I found all of this just from yahooing Jackson, MS. I am sure there are convention center with various events year round.

Getting involved in a church would also be a good idea.

But it sounds like you are ready to leave, so what is holding you back?

[aiangel_writer]

Originally Posted by sassyfrass

My husband and I have lived here for nearly a year and still can't get used to how backwards the area is. We live outside of Jackson. I have taught in the school system (told the best in the state) and have been saddened with education here. We find that there is nothing to do around here. Our African American friends tell us to stay our of Jackson area. It is seriously depressing living hcere. We go somewhere nearly every weekend because when we stay in town we are bored out of our minds. Anyone have any suggestions? We moved here from a city and miss that city-life... I don't know how Madison or Ridgeland got the votes of being top-anything honestly. I am a well traveled person and there is NO appeal to either of them. I will say they have beautiful homes, but that's it... Please if we are missing something please let me know! We are a young couple wanting to settle down, but refuse to settle in this area where the school systems are so sad, and I know from experience! Please help!

I do not think there is anything anyone can say to convince you anything in this state is worthwhile. I believe you have your mind made up that you will not like it here and wish to move, and that is totally ok.

It just seems that maybe you might not have wanted to move down here to begin with, and might have had preconceived notions of how life would be and how the people would be.

Yes, there are many areas that are more depressed than others, but that can be said of any state. We do live a slower pace of life, but that does not mean that we are in any way uneducated or slow learners. We actually prefer our slow pace of life, and detest the faster pace of larger cities. We also have feelings and being called backwards stings.

I do wonder if you have taken time out to really get to know people in your area, from the few posts you have written, I would guess not. I get the feeling that we 'we being the whole people of MS' are just not intelligent enough for you, and if that is how you feel, you should look elsewhere for a 'more' intellectual neighborhood or state.

Just do not think that because we prefer the slower pace of life that we are not as smart as the rest of the country. I've been to almost every state in the US and had the opportunity to live anywhere I wanted to...yet, I chose to come back to the rolling hills of North MS. I chose to come back to start a family and raise them with the good morals and values instilled in me as well as the hospitality and politeness of our great area. My son has scored very well on his ACT, and has always read at an above average pace, his favorite classes were the sciences and math. My youngest is also very intelligent and I am proud that we have a school system that teaches not only subjects required, but how to act respectful to people and have regard for others.

I also do not have to worry so much about crime, whether here at home or at school.

So, as stated earlier, I do believe you really didn't give us a chance simply because you didn't want to be here to begin with. If that was the case, it is well you should move, you will only be miserable here.

I wish you the best and hope you find a place that you can call home, a place that you love.

[lindajlue]

Mississippi is a great place to raise children if you plan on doing that any time soon. I think you are always going to be bored. I say move. I am hoping to move to Florida now that my child is grown and can't wait to get there. I have lived in MS all my life and I am bored..lol