Interracial Lesbian Couple with a child moving to MS from Southern California - are we crazy??? (Vicksburg: lawyer, houses)

[kvnbu]

Hey All,

I've been reading the posts from MS with great interest for the past month or so, as my partner and I are seriously considering moving to Clinton, MS to be closer to my partners family. Her parents are getting older, and she feels the need to be nearer to them. As we both put a strong value on family, we're putting the house on the market, and moving once it sells.

I'm not completely ignorant to MS, I visited there once and thought it was one of the most beautiful states that I had ever seen. However, I am getting a bit nervous regarding what other folks have told me, and about some of the stories I've been reading in the Clarion Ledger, the reported race relations (she's white, I'm black), what rights we'll be losing as a couple, how folks will treat our kid, and what feels like a million other thoughts that pass through my head as I'm trying to fall asleep.

I don't mean to be offensive, I'm just looking for some direction/advice/information. Any would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks everyone,

kvnbu

[tyeebeacon]

Hi, I cannot say as far as Clinton MS. I live in a small coastal community, things have changed some here. I have a stepsister who moved 20 somethning years ago to SF area from here to be with her lesbian partner. She claims it is much easier there, of course there are more people like them there and they have made a life there. I do not think it would be so much about race, however I personally have heard some remarks about the same sex couple thing. Although, like I said this is small coastal community cannot say about clinton. Just letting you know that most likeley will be a bit more difficult unless you already have accepting friends and family in the area. Good luck, and I am sure that with friends and family who love you they will be accepting regardless.

[mccarley]

Originally Posted by kvnbu

However, I am getting a bit nervous regarding what other folks have told me,
kvnbu

I think you will find that all the stuff you hear about Mississippi is from people who have never set foot in the state.
Come on down.

[NWS]

Hello kvnbu

Congrats on your move. Clinton is very nice. I live in Raymond a few minutes from Clinton. Many people from Raymond shop in Clinton. There are rural parts of Clinton where it seems everyone has horses and acreage and other parts near hwy 80 that are very suburban with historic districts, strip malls shopping centers schools and restaurants. Very diverse little town.
From what I've seen Mississippians tend to be polite even if they don't like you. You will at least get the polite wave as you drive by. Clinton is a great town and I don't think you will have any real problems there. If you're a Blue Jean Femme - lipstick Lesbian I don't think anyone would give you a second look.
Kids can often be mean. I don't think MS has cornered the market on mean kids. All schools have insecure kids who turn to bullying.
If your partners family is ok with your relationship that says a lot. If her mother wants you two to move closer to her that says a lot. It's going to be a change but I don't think at it's worse it will be something you have never dealt with and easily overcome.

Good luck with the move

NWS

[Mississippienne]

There's an interracial lesbian couple (white/Puerto Rican) who live down the street from me. They seem to get along just fine. Be aware that you will run into people who have religious or 'moral' objections to homosexuality. You may get preached at, or you may not. I certainly have (I'm an atheist) but I refuse to be treated badly and let them know that. Before you come, I recommend checking into local laws pertaining to your child. I'm not sure how it works, but you need to find out what'll happen if one of you dies or you break up, how custody will be handled in MS. That's something you should ask a lawyer about.

[williboy]

Yes, you may be crazy.

[cdvxb]

I agree with NWS - I live in Vicksburg 40 miles to the west of Clinton. Mississippians and southern folk in general are very polite. You may come across a few 'toots' that may whisper behind your back, but most of us would never be ugly to your face. Clinton has a wonderful school district, lots of people who work in Vicksburg actually live in Clinton because the schools are so good. It is a college town and quite charming. I think you will be fine - come visit Vicksburg when you get a chance.

[Pamela50]

I'll agree withthe other posters as far as you and your partner are concerned but...kids are cruel anyway on a regular basis. It will be your child that will be singled out here. I think in any rural area of any state your child would be too. Kids look for anything to "get" at you with but if yours is a girl then maybe they will leave her alone but if a son, I don't know hopefully younger ppl will behave for him.
My kids came from your stereo typical family..same mom and dad...but of course had jokes on them ..one about freckles..other one about being chubby...his name is chuck so they called him chuck roast.You know how kids are. But like I said, can be teased about having two moms no matter where he/she lives. I doubt the white/black thing will be a source of teasing though as that is more commom now.

[Muhnay]

From an outsider who lived in Mississippi's Gulf coast... They may smile to your face, but you will be the talk of the town, and some may resent your being there, and make life a bit uneasy for you. Mississippi is Bible belt country, and gay is gay, and then there is the whole interracial thing.. a big no no out south. So you already have 2 strikes against you. I was on the coast where things are a bit more open and easy going.. they are more accepting of different life styles.. but as one officer told me.. don't worry we have the klan down here.. sooner or later they'll get theirs. How serious he was I don't know.. but it is a true statement. You may find the child protective service breathing down your neck, you may not. I met many gay women and men on the coast, they work in the casinos, and waffle houses there. They seemed fine.. but most I saw were white with white.. all nice people mind you.. but even they would tell me of local harassment from time to time.

Mississippi is an odd place, I think just about anyone can make a life for themselves there if they really want too.. we all have our cross to bare. So I would not give up if it is some place you really want to call home, just be prepared for the worst, and hope for the best. Good luck, and Welcome to Mississippi.. its like going home.

[kvnbu]

I would really like to thank all of you all for weighing in. After reading the posts, it appears that, in many ways, it will be a lot like living here in that:
1) there will always be ignorant people who believe that what they believe is what should be believed
2) there is some level of corruption in about every police force (reference to the officer who thinks that the Klan is an effective regulating body),
3) kids are cruel (so what else is new)
And lastly
4) There are folks who have so little to think about, that they will make us the center of their conversation (although, I suspect that most folks are way to busy for this, and we will be a passing fad - and for those who aren't busy, they're likely to send us a Christmas card : )

However, just like here, so many of you seem to be warm, kind, and caring, - so much so that you would take time out to consider the concerns of a stranger. Again, a lot like here. I suppose that if that's how it is, Mississippi is likely to be a place that (after a time, and some adjustment for us and our neighbors to be) that one day my family and I will proudly call home.

My most sincere and deepest thanks,

Kvnbu