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Old 01-19-2009, 10:40 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
333 posts, read 525,853 times
Reputation: 257

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Ok, so you want the Californians to stay out of your town? Easy. Play up the redneck stereotype, and not like the rednecks you know, but like the rednecks that Californians do (or think they do)... malevolent and perverse rednecks from tv and film (rent Deliverance again).

Pick up a banjo at a second-hand store and keep it near your front door. Don't learn to play it, but when the realtor comes by your neighborhood, sit out front without your shirt and pick at it chaotically. Should you see a couple in town who look even vaguely Californian, chuckle quietly but insanely and tell the man that he "sure has a purty mouth."

True, it will perpetuate ridiculous stereotypes and probably feel uncomfortable to do, but you need only do it a few times before word will get out and the Californian diaspora will steer clear of your burg, because they all will have heard that it is full of "rednecks".
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Old 01-20-2009, 12:04 AM
 
Location: Still in the same spot...
2,124 posts, read 2,987,875 times
Reputation: 1502
Quote:
Originally Posted by J1ndo View Post
Ok, so you want the Californians to stay out of your town? Easy. Play up the redneck stereotype, and not like the rednecks you know, but like the rednecks that Californians do (or think they do)... malevolent and perverse rednecks from tv and film (rent Deliverance again).

Pick up a banjo at a second-hand store and keep it near your front door. Don't learn to play it, but when the realtor comes by your neighborhood, sit out front without your shirt and pick at it chaotically. Should you see a couple in town who look even vaguely Californian, chuckle quietly but insanely and tell the man that he "sure has a purty mouth."

True, it will perpetuate ridiculous stereotypes and probably feel uncomfortable to do, but you need only do it a few times before word will get out and the Californian diaspora will steer clear of your burg, because they all will have heard that it is full of "rednecks".
That's a very good start, but some key elements are missing here. If the second-hand store is out of 5-string banjos, buy a dobro, which might have an even better effect. Then you add about thirty or forty empty Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans, at least one--preferably two--shotguns as well as a pair of bloodhounds named Buford and Cletus wearing red bandannas but no collars. At that second-hand store you might also find an old Danny Joe Brown Band eight-track cartridge, or at least a copy of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Second Helping" or "Gimme Back My Bullets" on eight-track. Have them displayed prominently on the front porch too. I figure a Radio Shack police scanner should round out the whole package. Man, it would be like Dracula being exposed to a crucifix! Most of California, and especially this part of California in and around San Francisco--most of the people hate anything redneck or from the South, particularly Texas. So you can pretty easily solve this problem and have a heckuva lot of fun at the same time!
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Old 01-20-2009, 12:17 AM
 
Location: Still in the same spot...
2,124 posts, read 2,987,875 times
Reputation: 1502
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoNative34 View Post
You can double your money working in Kansas City and have a better job if you have marketable skills. St. Joe spends a lot a time waiting for manufacturing jobs to come back. If I were a betting man, I wouldn't put money on that. I wish that town would attract companies in a growing field, not a dying one (like maufacturing).
From what I can tell, Triumph Foods in St. Joe is doing OK, but I sure agree with you about "Joetown" needing to attract vibrant, up-and-coming companies. Our old friend StJoeFanatic once pointed out that St. Joe's school test scores are quite good, so it's not like there's an education deficit that would dissuade companies needing skilled workers proficient in communication and math skills from coming there as well as Platte County.

Back on topic--I'm just glad that St. Joseph's population stagnation may be ending at last if the latest corrected census figures are any indication.
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Old 01-20-2009, 01:05 AM
 
Location: Hills & Hollers of the Aux Arcs
19,015 posts, read 16,254,668 times
Reputation: 16962
Quote:
Originally Posted by J1ndo View Post
Should you see a couple in town who look even vaguely Californian, chuckle quietly but insanely and tell the man that he "sure has a purty mouth."

True, it will perpetuate ridiculous stereotypes and probably feel uncomfortable to do, but you need only do it a few times before word will get out and the Californian diaspora will steer clear of your burg, because they all will have heard that it is full of "rednecks".
Sounds to me like all that stuff might jes' come natural to someone in Oklahoma. But then again, I don't know too many kaleefornyans who are hankerin' to settle there.

As for the "purty mouth" ploy, we are talkin' kaleefornya here. A sizeable portion of the population would fall in love with you if you said that to them; an' I'm not talkin' 'bout the wimmin!
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Old 01-20-2009, 06:25 AM
 
Location: Branson-Hollister-Kimberling City
1,801 posts, read 3,471,570 times
Reputation: 1517
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
As for the "purty mouth" ploy, we are talkin' kaleefornya here. A sizeable portion of the population would fall in love with you if you said that to them; an' I'm not talkin' 'bout the wimmin!
Now that's funny. I don't care who you are.
I'm just glad there's no one here to hear me LOL at my computer!

[img]http://******************/happy-smiley-575.gif[/img]
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Old 01-20-2009, 07:28 AM
 
1,291 posts, read 1,753,615 times
Reputation: 1264
[quote=J1ndo;7078396] "sure has a purty mouth."

[quote]

C'mon, get your redneck slogans right...it's

"Sure got purty lips"

Dang west coasters can't even stereotype correctly!
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Old 01-20-2009, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Hills & Hollers of the Aux Arcs
19,015 posts, read 16,254,668 times
Reputation: 16962
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inoxkeeper View Post
Dang west coasters can't even stereotype correctly!
Yukon, Oklahoma is on the west coast?

Who knew?
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Old 01-20-2009, 08:35 AM
Status: "That 80s Sound, ZTT Records!" (set 19 days ago)
 
Location: Madison, WI Metro Area
15,327 posts, read 21,205,375 times
Reputation: 7730
Quote:
Originally Posted by northbayeric View Post
From what I can tell, Triumph Foods in St. Joe is doing OK, but I sure agree with you about "Joetown" needing to attract vibrant, up-and-coming companies. Our old friend StJoeFanatic once pointed out that St. Joe's school test scores are quite good, so it's not like there's an education deficit that would dissuade companies needing skilled workers proficient in communication and math skills from coming there as well as Platte County.

Back on topic--I'm just glad that St. Joseph's population stagnation may be ending at last if the latest corrected census figures are any indication.
I am quite mixed on St. Joseph. While I really enjoy the historic Downtown area and some of the local eateries it has sort of a Rust Belt flavor to it. I am not saying this is a bad thing, but if you study your history you will find that St. Joseph had a greater population compared to Kansas City in the 1800s, and has steadily lost some of those influences because of the decline in barge traffic along the Missouri River, the expansion of railroads that made Kansas City a major hub, etc. St. Joseph was then bypassed by KC and relegated to a small town. I think that the population and job growth in Platte County will generally have a positive impact on the population in St. Joseph, however. St. Joseph also appears to be getting more diverse with a fairly big increase in the Hispanic population.
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Old 01-20-2009, 09:43 AM
 
415 posts, read 753,527 times
Reputation: 311
Quote:
Originally Posted by ozarksboy View Post
Welcome to Missouri, even those of you who are brimful of good ideas to make our lives "better."

The NEW Ozarks Boy
That New Ozarks Boy is skeery!

Last edited by Silvermouse; 01-20-2009 at 09:52 AM.. Reason: added quote
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Old 01-20-2009, 09:59 AM
 
Location: Hills & Hollers of the Aux Arcs
19,015 posts, read 16,254,668 times
Reputation: 16962
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silvermouse View Post
That New Ozarks Boy is skeery!
Likely a hologram that broke loose during Halloween and is still floating around somewhere.
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