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Hi, I just got back from a long trip through Eastern Oregon, Idaho and Montana. I have to say I am truly in love with the beauty of the state of Montana. I also found Montanans to be quite a bit friendlier than people from Oregon. The friendliness of Montanans is a bit odd, but I found them a bit more reserved in the small towns, more open in the cities, but overall seem to have more genuine friendliness than grumpy and stuck-up Oregonians, many who are "ex-Californians". The grumpy part, is reserved for the ticked off locals who feel the state is invaded. Perhaps, I am a bit on the grumpy side, but trying to change, especially as I migrate out of ORegon.
Well, anyhow, to not go off topic, I am wondering what it is like for a single guy in his early 30s to find a date in Montana. I am a more-religious Messianic/Netzarim Jewish male, but I am open to dating women outside my race/religion. I guess I would want to find a more conservative, religious/spiritual woman with traditional values. It seemed that a few of those existed when I was there, at least from my observation. I'm sure there are many things I don't know about the state and the people, but I am intrigued to learn more. I was amazed to pass by a Messianic Jewish synagogue when driving through the Bitterroot Valley. Although, I am sure that it is very small and most members are older and, perhaps, not ethnically Jewish, it did give me a good feeling in my heart of the acceptance and tolerance of people in the area. It was odd seeing a large Star of David on the roadside in rural Montana. Contrary, to what many people will say, I feel there is probably more bigotry and anti-Semitism where I live in Oregon than the places I saw in Montana.
I really like how in small Montana towns women expect men to open the door for them. There seem to be a bit of the "old-world" charm mixed in with the new-age trendiness that is present in the state. I know I would be labelled "sexist" in Oregon if I so diligently opened the doors for women. The old-fashioned values I found to be quite enticing and I thought those were lost living in Oregon all these years.
I don't want to get anyone the wrong idea about me. I understand Montana has its own culture and everything. I'm not likely to find a perfect cultural match for myself, but I am tired of mainstream society and feel Montana might be a good place for me to settle down. I am a down-to-earth person and don't like the superficiality and arrogance I see in Oregon. Everybody in this state has to prove how cool, hip, trendy, etc etc that they are. The dating scene is mostly in Portland or the college towns and most of the younger folks here are just too freakish for my tastes. I was hoping maybe in Montana I could find some more "normal" people with a bit deeper values.
Anyway, I'd be interested to know the best places where a 20/30 single guy should settle if he expects to actually find a date. I am pretty much set on the westside of MOntana, as I am a mountain man and want to live in the mountains. I'm sure the Great Plains side of Montana has its charm, but I don't think I could deal with the flatness. So, I would want to limit where I live to the mountainous regions. Right now, I live in Hood River, Oregon which is a touristy town and I would say that almost every person in this town is older and married. The only single girls are generally the bar/snowboarder girls, but they are only single because they are polyamorous groupy types.
I know big cities , like Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles, etc have all the single people and the "single scene." But I say it is quality over quantity. And, I think Montana certainly would host more quality, even if it takes a bit longer to connect with someone.
As for me, I just fell in love with MOntana. Even if I end up being a celibate monk, I really think I would like to live there. Idaho is an another option, but Montana definitely is a more grand state. Glacier National Park found a special place in my heart. I hiked to the top of Swiftcurrent Pass Lookout from the Motor Inn (3800+ ft) hike. It will be a memory I will never forget and hope to relive.
As stated above, Bozeman and Missoula are the two places where you will find the most single women in your age group. However, both towns are rather liberal and that doesn't seem like something you're interested in. Also, as you so eloquently put it above, many of the young, single women you will encounter in these towns will be involved in the bar/snowboarder crowd. Whether they are single because they are polyamorous groupies or if it's because they haven't found any men worth committing to is up for debate.
I've heard it's difficult for many single men in their 30s to move to a new town (Missoula and Bozeman have such a small-town feel) and gain a peer group and also begin dating. They often don't end up feeling accepted - I've heard this about Bozeman in particular. This being based on the experiences of several male friends and coworkers I've known who have uprooted, especially to smaller towns in the west, which are the kind of towns you will find in Montana and Idaho. You may want to consider Boise, ID as it's a much more populated area.
Thanks for the honest post electriclady. I do agree with your assessment quite a bit and do think that most of the West Coast mountain towns really do share a lot in common. Hood River, Missoula and Bozeman I am sure are quite the same, although Hood River is considerably smaller and my feeling is the people here think of themselves as considerably "cooler". I am quite tired of Hood River and the arrogant, stuck-up attitude people have here. The funny thing is, that a lot of the more lowly snowboarder types who work as dishwashers in restaurants or in coffeeshops or bars think of themselves as the coolest people in town, because they snowboard or something. They can be 40 years old and still talk with the same degenerate and vulgar lingo they did in their early 20s. In a lot of ways hanging out in Hood River feels like I am living in my college dorm in Southern Oregon in the late 90s. I thought I escaped these kind of people when I left my dorm in Ashland, but I have found them all over again in Hood River.
My opinion is that liberal/hip gals around here are quite a bit more loose and get bored of being in any one relationship at any time. Also, many of them want to be with the "coolest" guy. I've seen some very pretty girls, who look like they could model for Vogue or some other high end magazine, who are hanging out with the most degenerate, brain-dead, fouled mouth, drunk losers I've seen. Not all of them are even that good looking, but they are all full of tats, piercings and are considered very cool by everyone. So, therefore, they score all the "hot babes".
Anyway, I don't want to rant. I already had a thread where I did that.
Well, I am a mountain man and love living in the beautiful outdoors. Maybe, Missoula/Bozeman have an ultra-liberal/hippy feel to them like Oregon, but this is not my experience being in small towns like Salmon, ID, Hamilton, MT, Sandpoint, ID or many other of small towns stayed on my trip. There seem to be a kind of a cowboy/old-fashioned mentality to the people in these towns. Whitefish certainly seemed a lot like Hood River, albeit a friendlier version. People, liberal or not, always seemed happy to see me in the stores, smiled at me and even would strike up conversations. That was quite strange, as people in Hood River generally don't smile and always act like you are wasting their time.
Many people in Hood River will look the other way at you when you walk down the street, especially the women. I've never met such stuck-up women like I have here. They have some bizarre superiority complex. Sometimes I like to unleash my machizmo character on them after the cold shoulder. Like one time this tall six-foot + blonde lady (common here in Hood River), not exactly attractive, but anyway, I was sitting on bench looking at the view of Mt Adams in town. She walks up the steps and I say "hello, that was quite a hike." For those who don't know, Hood River has giant stairways that climb up the steep hills in the town. She goes on to ignore me, like I wasn't talking to her and then I gave her a joking look, like I was very scared of her.. She then saw, me being a clown for her reaction, gave me a half smile. Literally, half her mouth smiled and the other didn't. I sure hope she didn't pull a muscle in her mouth doing that. I was in no way hitting on her or anything, just saying hello. As I said, I didn't even find her attractive.
Anyway, this type of interaction is fairly common here in Hood River. Many times I will say hello to someone, they ignore me and pretend I didn't say anything. I've never encountered rudeness like this anywhere I have lived. I, actually think Portland is a much friendlier place, but I will admit, the people are a bit too much on the freakish and liberal side for me. Also, Portland is getting very expensive and I need to save money.
Boise, is certainly an option I considered. The city itself is very nice, safe and clean. They call it the city of trees, but coming from Portland, it appeared a lot more like the city of sagebrush to me. LOL.. Oh well, the scenery and very hot summers are not exactly enticing, but maybe it is my only opportunity to date an American woman, living in a place like that. I do realize that these small towns have very tight cliques and outsiders are generally not accepted easily. Being that I am a Jew and not a Christian, I don't really have any church to run to for social interaction or community either.
I guess I will have to see if I can fulfill my dream of living in a beautiful place and finding a girl with old-fashioned values. I was hoping there was a few of those types left. One place I thought would be really nice to live was the Hungry Horse or West Glacier area. I don't know why, despite being around all the tourism, the area seem to feel almost untouched and had that "True Montanan" vibe that I experienced in other places like Hamilton and Darby, MOntana. I guess most of the pretty blonde girls I saw working in the restaurants there were high schoolers, so they are off-limits. They seemed a bit young for me, although I wasn't exactly sure their age. I am guessing most of the 18+ year old ones go to the cities for school and work. Maybe, they return to the small towns after they marry or marry their high school sweethearts, etc.
Last edited by MysticalDream; 09-06-2011 at 08:37 PM..
I understand where you're coming from especially in regard to the "too cool for school" attitude. I found the same thing in Colorado and the West Coast, and to a lesser extent but still prevalent, in Bozeman. Heck I'm in Detroit now and there's folks like that here! So go figure. For the record in regards to your religion, I always found Montanans to be very open in more of a live and let live way ... though I'd say there's a difference between "live and let live" and being forthcoming with outsiders. But I don't see your faith being a major hindrance for you. Either way, I think it best to pick the place you most want to live and go from there. There are many fine cowboy towns if you'd rather live in a place like that, I'd say just let things play out and hopefully a nice woman will come along. You may want to look into Livingston, Montana - the town just east of Bozeman (and at the gateway of the breathtaking Paradise Valley and many other glorious spots). It's much smaller but you'd be free to experience the "culture" of Bozeman without living in it. Be reminded, both Missoula and Bozeman are college towns and Bozeman is a ski town. You'll find a significant portion of the brain dead, foul mouthed losers in both that you would in Hood River. It's just not nearly as swanky. I've been to Hood River - it's lovely but it's way too manicured for me and yes I sensed some definite snobbery.
There are some good folks in and around Bozeman - the best bet would be to move where you can find work and afford to live comfortably. The other chips would eventually all fall into place.
Best of luck to you!
It sounds like you are really focused on finding a life-long partner with good old-fashioned values in the year 2011 in America. If this is really your immediate goal, you may want to make achieving this goal a lot easier and attainable by temporarily moving to an area of the country where women are more conservative and old-fashioned, for example Boston or Philly. [Boston women are also known for being very attractive and well-dressed.] I know you like the mountains and Montana, but its a lot easier to find mountains than it is to find a life-long marriage partner, and once you do find her, she will probably be more than willing to move to a beautiful mountain town in Montana, because that's what old-fashioned women do, unlike the me-generation liberal women who are more focused on their own satisfaction and their "rights" than anything else. Just an idea.....
It sounds like you are really focused on finding a life-long partner with good old-fashioned values in the year 2011 in America. If this is really your immediate goal, you may want to make achieving this goal a lot easier and attainable by temporarily moving to an area of the country where women are more conservative and old-fashioned, for example Boston or Philly. [Boston women are also known for being very attractive and well-dressed.] I know you like the mountains and Montana, but its a lot easier to find mountains than it is to find a life-long marriage partner, and once you do find her, she will probably be more than willing to move to a beautiful mountain town in Montana, because that's what old-fashioned women do, unlike the me-generation liberal women who are more focused on their own satisfaction and their "rights" than anything else. Just an idea.....
Women in Philadelphia and Boston, two of the most progressive cities in the nation, are more old-fashioned than women in Montana? Not sure what planet you've been living on but I bet the drugs are great!
Also, news flash to Planet QuickStudy: It's not just females who are part of the me-generation.
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She then saw, me being a clown for her reaction, gave me a half smile. Literally, half her mouth smiled and the other didn't. I sure hope she didn't pull a muscle in her mouth doing that. 
I was in no way hitting on her or anything, just saying hello. As I said, I didn't even find her attractive. 
