Need to get outa this state (move to, places, invest)
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100% happier is what I think most people are looking for, but are afraid to make the jump. It is all in the trade off. I am happy your wife found something she loves. I bet she doesn't work a day in her life.
No, she doesn't. She loves her work and feels fulfilled, and the kids remind her every day.
You simply have to do what calls to you. I'm lucky in that I love what I do as well and it pays the bills. No stress, just pure enjoyment. I am blessed, and I'm in Montana. What could be better? (Maybe West Virginia but hey- I lived there too )
Been researching more in regards to Portland area and though the economic outlook is poor, I'm still going with this. Had a another friend of family die recently and the the longer I stay here, the more miserable m gonna be. I'm w orking on resume updating and online job searching through monster as well letting people I'm close to know to inform me nettworking job opportunities
Read the book that was suggested and it was inciteful but the bottom line is, I'm no longer happy with my life in this state. There are simple not enough opportunities, activities and people that I'm seeking as a geek bachelor. I need more of everything with no more cruddy and miserable winters, closed minded people and the same family breeding mentality of woman and the shallowness of college girls, I'm just so done with it.
I will miss my folks and close family friends a lot, it will be very painful for me and them, but enough is enough.. I havr alot of unhappy memories and people here that I wish never to see again for the rest of my life. I wanna bury my past and the people with it, drive away far and fast and never return.
Luck andt God willing, next year at this time, I will be a couple of states away from this big sky land of redundancy and close this long chapter of my life in this state and town forever
You said in your original post that you're tired of "opinionated liberals and hippys" [sic] and you're going to Portland??? Good luck with that. Seriously, I wish you good luck because I think you'll need it. I hope you find happiness within yourself because if you don't, you -- anyone -- will never find it in a city or state.
I wanna bury my past and the people with it, drive away far and fast and never return.
“On the highway of life, we most often recognize happiness out of the rear view mirror”
Sweetie, you're not listening. You have to learn to be happy where you ARE, before you will be happy anywhere else. The problem with driving away from your past, is every time you look in the rear view mirror, your past is right there with you. You can't run away from it.
I totally get wanting to move for different scenery, after all, I'm moving to Montana to experience the wide open spaces, the opportunities to ride horseback for days for no reason, and besides, if I'm going to be poor, I'd rather be poor in Montana! I'm not unhappy, I just need a change!
Until you're happy with yourself, until you like yourself, you will never be happy no matter where you go. Learn to see the value in yourself. If you have a family member that is always running you down and telling you that you're as useful as **** on a boar, then YES!! Get as far from that person as humanly possible. Surround yourself with people who will build you up and not tear you down. It's not a Montana problem, it's a people problem. People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. Learn to care for and about others and people will care for you. Seriously.
"You is good, you is kind, you is IMPORTANT." Don't ever forget that.
Been reading this thread with interest since I am visiting Montana this week for the first time and was curious why someone hated it so much.
I felt the same way about Boston, where I grew up and lived until my late 20's. I had grown miserable there, believe it or not. I was bullied in school relentlessly, after college in a lousy job market in the early 90's, I couldn't find work. I was tired of the long winters, I was tired of the lousy sports teams (at the time) and desperately needed a change.
I moved out to the Midwest in the mid 90's, first to go to grad school in Milwaukee, then I moved down to Chicago for work for about 4 years. Easily the 6 best years of my life. I loved being away from Boston, the only city I had ever known. I loved being in Milwaukee and being in Chicago.
Jobwise it didn't quite work out in the end, so I moved back east for other work and lived in DC for 4 years and am now in Atlanta. I've loved living in different cities and exploring other areas of the country, but I do get homesick for Boston sometimes. I couldn't live there because even a top salary in my field wouldn't get you an outhouse in Boston.
I've loved everywhere else I've lived, although Atlanta not so much. It is too hot for my liking, and my politics does not match up either. A big time red state down here, and I'm about as liberal as they come. So I try to watch MSNBC as much as possible to balance things out. I realize I am probably stuck here because of the economy. My field just isn't hiring the way it used to be. But I can always go back to Boston on vacation, and since I've been away for so many years now, I can appreciate it more and realize what I took for granted for so long (ie oceans and mountains).
I hope you update this thread after you move. It would be interesting to see how things work out for you.
In some ways, I understand why you feel the need to move, because I once had that desire to leave my hometown back in the 90's, and after nine years of dreaming of moving I finally had the opportunity (money) to make it happen.
Here's my story. I grew up here in Toledo, Ohio, and while it was a fine place to grow up and a much nicer area of the country than most people who've never been here believe, I had the dream of moving to Seattle from about 4th or 5th grade on. Saw it on the news, in pictures, heard it described, and was drawn to the idea of moving there when I got older.
Well, I also had another dream since childhood, and that was to join the military, which I did. After serving in the Navy as a Cryptologist for six years, I was back in my hometown. Back in those days (January of 1990), the military would only pay for your plane ticket to your hometown. My plans were to either move to Seattle and work and go to college out there, or stay in Toledo and work and go to college before making the big move. Life had it's own plans for me, and financially I was never able to put myself through college (I refused to build up student loan debt, and the Navy cheated a lot of sailors out of their education benefits who enlisted prior to 1985), and the little money I had when I got out the the Navy just wasn't enough to take a chance at moving to Seattle at that time. So I worked for low wages living paycheck to paycheck, for nine freaking years. It was a depressing experience. There were a lot of things that had built up inside me that caused me to have negative feelings. Family issues (not marraige, but sibling and parent related), attitudes of many citizens in the city, low wages and few job opportunities, boss issues, etc., etc. And all that time I dreamed, and longed to fulfill my desire to move to Seattle which I still wanted to do.
I understood some of the things I was tired of dealing with would also cause me grief no matter where I lived, but I needed a change - BIG TIME, like you obviously do. Well, the bank I worked at was selling their credit card division, which I worked in, so I knew I had to find a different job, so why not try something completely different that paid more money? I gave truck driving a try. For a few months. Unfortunately, I ended up with a very bad company that forced drivers to cheat on logs, drove them to exhaustion with hardly any sleep for days and weeks on end, and provided low quality experimental engines in their trucks, that were dangerous to drive. After having been given two different trucks that left me stranded on the side of the road within a couple of months of finally being allowed to drive by myself, I decided not to work for them any longer. I felt they were going to get me or some poor family on the road killed with their bad equipment.
After that experience I decided to do the unthinkable and cash in the 401k I had built up at the bank while working there, and make the move finally to Seattle. Well, life had ANOTHER plan for me at that time as well. An old military buddy called me up out of the blue in the spring of 1998, just to catch up and see how things were going. I mentioned I was moving to Seattle by the end of the year, and he said he remembered I always wanted to see Puerto Rico where he was from, and if I had enough money to go there on vacation he and his wife would show me around that coming summer. I went and fell in love with the place, and met his wife's friend who was the sweetest young lady you could imagine. In case you haven't figured out the next chapter of my life story had me moving to PR rather than Seattle.
After a little more than 17 months I decided I had to get off the island to get a better job. I had enough to get to Miami, so I thought I'd go there just to save enough until I could finally move to - Seattle, of course. It took me three years and a month to finally have enough to move. During that time I did A LOT of research, and decided against Seattle because so many people had moved there and it was overcrowded, expensive, and I knew jobs would probably be hard to come by because of how many people had moved there. Plus, after living in Miami and knowing the difficulties of living in a big city, impossible traffic, etc., I started thinking a quieter environment, with open spaces, and air I could breath would be an attractive option.
During my time in Miami doing research on different options, I would often check unemployment rates on the Bureau of Labor and Statistics website. Well, towns in Montana were always close to the lowest, often in the 2-3% range. I knew it would be a challenge to find a job there nevertheless, but couldn't imagine moving to a better place for myself at the time. My only concern was whether my lungs could handle temps when they dipped under zero. I have year round allergies, and allergy-induced asthma, and had serious problems when I lived in Toledo whenever it got bitter cold under zero. But, I felt it was worth it to give it a shot. I just wouldn't be able to take an outdoor job.
Finally, August of 2003 I drove up to Ohio to see my family for a few days, then headed out west. My plans were to drive to Missoula and try to get a job there. Unfortunately, even though I knew I had to try to beat the college kids there to rent a place, my timing didn't allow for it. So I decided to drive to Seattle and Bellingham, after a couple of days in Missoula, and see if I'd like either place enough to stay. The traffic on the bypass around Seattle was insane, so I stayed in a motel just north of the city thinking I'd drive into the city the next day to look around. By the next morning I decided I couldn't handle that type of traffic again so soon after living in Miami. Drove up to Bellingham and just happened to run into the Chamber of Commerce soon after getting off the highway. Looked like a nice little town, but after chatting with the lady inside, I learned they had a high unemployment rate at the time, and being a fairly small town I knew finding a job could prove to be impossible. All the while I had in the back of my mind giving Helena a shot. So off I went.
Helena was a nice little town. Whenever I think of my four short months there from September of 2003 through December of 2003, I get a little sad I guess thinking, "What if?". I rented an apartment behind the police station in a place that looked like a house but had several apartments. While waiting for the landlord, I stood outside and it was so quiet I could have literally heard a pin drop. It was that peaceful. That's what I needed.
Amazingly, I was initially able to get a temporary 30 day assignment through a temp service to work at the Federal Reserve Bank on third shift. However, they had a really nasty illness going around that I ended up getting after working for a mere two or three days. It was horrible, so bad I couldn't go to work. It kept me out of action for probably a month. I felt really bad so called the temp service and let them know they should find someone else after only being off a couple of days. At the time I was thinking it was only a 30 day assignment so no big deal. Looking back what probably would have happened is I probably would been hired in after the initial 30 days. I wasn't thinking clearly due to being so darn sick. After that, I couldn't find anything, so had to move with the little money I had left at the end of December, as I was being chased by an approaching blizzard no less! Finally, after driving over ice packed mountain roads from another blizzard that hit east of Helena about a week before, I pulled over to the side of the road, and put my seat back to rest. Looked up and saw about a trillion stars in the sky. Never was able to see anything like that anywhere else I lived, due to city lights, etc. One of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Just another thing that made me sad to be leaving.
Ended up moving to Omaha just for work knowing I'd be moving again at some point. After three and a half years I did - back to my hometown due to aging parents. My mother in particular needed my help so I did what I felt I should do. I knew I'd have to take a low paying job, which I did, but I haven't regretted moving back. There are things you'll always miss about the place you grew up while you are away. It's home. However, if my parents leave this world before I do, I imagine I will move again. Depending on whether I have alot of money I could end up back in Montana. If not there it'll be somewhere warmer for the sake of my heart and lungs because they just can't take brutally cold weather that places like Ohio and Montana sometimes have.
The reason for telling you all of this young man, and yes you are still a young man, is because it's important for you to understand the challenges you'll face when you move far away from family. The good thing is you have your education, but you'll need it if you plan on living somewhere like Portland. It's expensive in places like Portland and Seattle, and the person who told you you'll see alot of hippies in Portland is correct. Not to mention there are alot of homeless kids and young adults that basically live on the streets there. I saw it on tv.
Have you thought about possibly moving to another part of Montana, like Helena? It's much different than Missoula, as far as I could tell (from the brief time I was in Missoula). Maybe you could get an IT job at the Federal Reserve Bank. I know the FRB likes to use the temp services in Helena to screen the prospective candidates, but they might also hire directly, I don't know.
One last thing: I think you are being too hard on the young women there. After the short four months I spent in Helena, and couple of days in Missoula, my impression was I wished I had known about how special the women were there when I first got out of the Navy. I probably would have hopped a train like a hobo just to get to them to find a wife! Most places I've lived, including my hometown, young women seemed to think acting charming and feminine goes against all the principles of women's lib. I found the women in Montana to actually enjoy being women, yet still be strong willed. The two or three days I was in Missoula, I had no less than three college aged girls flirting with me. One even followed me around inside the store, I think it was a Wal-Mart. They were all attractive young women, and I was 38. I wasn't used to being on the receiving end of that kind of attention, but of course because of the age difference didn't pursue anything. Even in Helena I received a little attention from a couple of younger women, that again I didn't pursue.
Of all the places I've lived as far as women go, I was impressed with how they acted towards men in Puerto Rico and Montana. In other places I've been they played too many mind games. But that's just one man's experience.
Whatever you decide to do, good luck and God bless. And take a lot of money, because you might need more than you realize. It's very expensive to move and get started in a new city/town.
One more last thing. Where ever you decide to hang your cowboy hat and call home, take pride in the community and become a part of it. One thing I wish I had done is find a good church to attend. Honestly, I felt I didn't belong when I moved to a new place, but that was my fault in a way, for not becoming more a part of the community. I went to work, did my shopping, and went home. It was a pretty lifeless life. It wouldn't be hard for you to do better than I did in that regard.
Thanks 'threerun'. After reading over what I posted I'm not sure I was much help to the OP. The bottomline, everyone has to do what they believe is best for them. It doesn't always work out to be a better situation, but sometimes it does.
Something I noticed after I came back from serving six years in the Navy, was your family adjusts to you not being there. For me it was like noone noticed or cared I was back. It was a surreal experience. Sad thing is that happens to alot of veterans after they serve and go back to their hometowns. If the military would have been willing to fly me anywhere in the lower 48 when I got out I probably would have flown straight to Seattle and started a life there. They started doing that for returning military personnel after I got out at some point. If that had happened for me, I would have had a completely different life experience post military service. That's life.
Go ahead and move and c how long it takes you to go oooops! Get away from the college towns.. I love the state.. And certainly dont live in a big town... I love it... From a big city, ex air force with tenure in chicago, st. louis, korea, memphis, saudi... Im fine right were i am.... Go ahead and c.... Some learn the hard way... I did. Home sweet Home... C. Falls, Montana and loving it.
Oh one more thing.. Expect your insurance premium to go up as well living in a bigger city.
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