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Old 02-14-2015, 11:27 PM
 
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,293 posts, read 3,328,352 times
Reputation: 4808

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheepdog5749 View Post
...................... Makes me curious if the writers of those comments gave the community a fair chance and if maybe it is not their own attitudes which produced the hostility.

Just a thought....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabinerose View Post
I tried for 8 years...almost a decade of my life, to try and "fit in". I volunteered, worked in town, met the neighbors, go involved, etc...and never felt the "my community will stand behind me in a moment of crisis" feeling. Sure, folks were nice to my face, but I never had the right name to be accepted in the small town I was in.

Sometimes, people are just so set in their ways that it doesn't matter what attitude an outsider brings with them...they will always be viewed as an outsider.
..

Having lived in a rural, remote area of western Montana for over 35 years, I have observed many families move into this area from NY. CT. Ill. CA,.NV and other similiar type locations.............Those that seem to "fit-in" and are accepted quite quickly, are those who "from-day-one", have left all their "preconcieved" notions about the culture and 'day to day' life patterns of their neighbors,.....they have left "those thoughts and notions" at the "door".....which they closed behind them the day they moved in.!!

In other words: "you say to your self: "I will acclimate to "the-way-of-life" and local enviromental-culture that is accepted and common-place in this "city-town or area" That I Have Chosen, or I will end-up having an "up-hill battle" as related to acceptance and happiness in my new location.....Just My Humble Opinion.

Last edited by Montana Griz; 02-14-2015 at 11:58 PM..
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Old 02-15-2015, 04:01 PM
 
Location: 406
1,423 posts, read 1,536,719 times
Reputation: 1407
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabinerose View Post
I tried for 8 years...almost a decade of my life, to try and "fit in". I volunteered, worked in town, met the neighbors, go involved, etc...and never felt the "my community will stand behind me in a moment of crisis" feeling. Sure, folks were nice to my face, but I never had the right name to be accepted in the small town I was in.

Sometimes, people are just so set in their ways that it doesn't matter what attitude an outsider brings with them...they will always be viewed as an outsider.
Well, as Montana Griz has already essentially illustrated, your success in many of Montana's small communities (certainly not all, of course) is going to be determined by some collective perception of whether or not you're there to think and live in ways that the "herd" deems acceptable and conducive to their "culture"--to truly become integrated in smaller towns is to show, sometimes via decades of visible conformity, that you're just like everyone else, having gotten in with the right social circles, doing business with the right people, not wanting nicer streets or practical zoning ordinances...stuff like that.

I can't just single out small Montana communities as being that way (I understand these dynamics are found from coast to coast), but this place could really use a little less of that insular mentality.
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