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Old 12-15-2009, 10:32 AM
 
Location: Where the mountains touch the sky
4,884 posts, read 5,765,841 times
Reputation: 8257

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Kristenm;

I read your post in some amazement. I know there are some areas that are pretty clannish in Montana, but the outright hostility you describe, well, I have never encountered anything of the scope you describe.

You do not mention where you are located, which is fine, but when you mention that it is where the jobs are that would say to me that you are near the oil patch as that is about the only place I know where jobs are growing at all.

I do know there is a severe housing shortage in some of the towns boardering the patch, I hear that on the radio all the time.

I am not sure how a store could charge more for one person, but not another if the prices are marked on tags or displayed on shelves, but if you say it that is how it is, I guess you have seen it.

I lived in a fifth wheel trailer while completing my education because it was a lot easier and cheaper to rent a space than to rent an apartment, I didn't think it was so bad. My trailer was a lot better than a lot of apartments, but then I didn't have kids.

I have always been of the opinion that a situation is what you make of it. I don't have your exact experience, but have had to live in very hostile environments, (war zones, Seattle, San Diego, New Orleans), and found small bits of positive things I could enjoy.

Attitude is always your best weapon in bad circumstances. You mention you are from Utah, there are several temples across the state. Those are usually very welcoming and supporting.
Schools are always looking for parents to help with various activities.
Extra carricular sports and clubs for yourself and your kids are always a good way to meet people.
I like sporting goods stores and gun shows because I love hunting and fishing, that is where those people of like mind are most apt to meet.

If you are looking for things to be upset about, one thing is for sure, you will always find them.
Perhaps you weren't greeted with open arms, that doesn't mean you have to be alienated unless you wish to be. You may have to make the first move and reach out to meet new friends.

If you just wish to complain about the situation, I doubt you will find many that wish to hear of your trials and tribulations.

None of my business, just answering a post. You can do what ever you want, but I bet those "uncompassionate" people could really surprise you if you give them a chance.
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Londonderry, NH
41,505 posts, read 51,238,770 times
Reputation: 24606
OP - Same stuff has been happening in southern to mid state New Hampshire. The builders, brokers, speculators and house flippers come in and make millions until the market crashes and the rest of us are stuck with the over priced housing, noise, traffic and general crowding created by having a town grow from 8,500 in 1985 to 23,000 in 2008.

I really do not need a Home Despot or three supermarkets or three drug/department stores on ONE corner.

You have good reason to be annoyed.
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:18 AM
 
Location: In The Outland
6,023 posts, read 11,870,919 times
Reputation: 3535
I came from out of state, I was never price gouged, I have met some of the nicest folks I've met anywhere. I never had any trouble renting (I only rented for a very short time because buying was so easy) and there is no doubt that moving to Montana was the best move we ever made.
I have heard of a few people who for some reason have a rough time everywhere they end up.
At this moment there is a family being run out of our town for several reasons that I wont go into here but Montana just isn't always a good fit for anybody and everybody.
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Old 12-15-2009, 06:52 PM
 
Location: Montana
1,219 posts, read 2,810,745 times
Reputation: 672
Rickers, don't forget that you are not one of "them". You are a good example of a good guy who happens to come from CA. I doubt that you have ever had that same attitude, even when you were living there. If everyone that was coming to MT from CA was like you, there wouldn't be the bumper stickers and gripes at all! Instead they would say "Do Montana a favor and bring a friend!"
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Old 12-16-2009, 08:44 AM
 
Location: In The Outland
6,023 posts, read 11,870,919 times
Reputation: 3535
Why thank you Timberwolf232
Several things I learned a long time ago (no matter where a person lives), is to not bump into folks on the sidewalk, don't talk about religion or politics at the Thanksgiving dinner table, don't try to make friends in public restrooms and don't try to suggest anything new at the town council meetings !
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Old 12-16-2009, 11:13 AM
 
120 posts, read 328,054 times
Reputation: 105
Quote:
Originally Posted by kristinem View Post
sometimes out siders have no choice, my family had to move to montana, this is where work is, and because of attiudes thike some people who have lived here all their lives me and my family get treated like ****! and we dont own some big horse ranch in fact we have to live in a fithwheel camper because no one will rent to us because we are out of staters,we have been through alot in order to make a good life for our children, my husband said "montana has very nice people" yeah! if you are not an out of stater, its freezing cold in this camper and i see no compassion from these people, and im from utah so i know what snow looks like and how cold feels, i thought small town america folks were fun loveable people? not what we have recived. and another thing my husband brought work for these locals, and their is no thanks, all the thanks we get is price gouging.....yeah thanks alot small town america.
My wife and I are from out of state. We had no problems finding a place to rent. We kept our out-of-state license plates on our cars for about 3 months after we moved here so the neighbors surely know we are from out of state. Yet they treat us just fine! When we went to get insurance for our cars, the insurance rep even gave us a few tips that will end up saving us several hundred dollars a year - at his expense! The guy who handled the moving truck for us went out of his way to help us as well.

I'm not discounting your experience at all. Just saying that maybe the entire state shouldn't be indicted because of the actions of a few. And, without specifics, it's really hard to pin down exactly where the problem lies.
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Old 12-16-2009, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Approximately 50 miles from Missoula MT/38 yrs full time after 4 yrs part time
2,293 posts, read 3,327,207 times
Reputation: 4808
Quote:
Originally Posted by rickers View Post
Why thank you Timberwolf232
Several things I learned a long time ago (no matter where a person lives), is to not bump into folks on the sidewalk, don't talk about religion or politics at the Thanksgiving dinner table, don't try to make friends in public restrooms and don't try to suggest anything new at the town council meetings !
In addition to the above "don'ts"..........there are a few "do(s)" that always seem to help:
.....smile or a slight nod of the head when you meet someone on the sidewalk in town.
.....a small wave of the hand on the steering wheel when you meet someone on the gravel road going to the house, mailbox or out to the highway.
.....slow down considerably when you're going to encounter someone on horseback on the gravel road (or any road for that matter).
.....pick up the neighbor's mail when they're out of town (rural mail box).
.....when you (and someone else) arrive at the check-out counter at the same time.......tell them:"you go ahead, I've got plenty of time".

Seems to me there was a song 'way-back-when' that went somethin' like:......
"little things mean a lot!!!'


Carpe Diem...........................Griz

P.S. That check-out counter thing........if the other person happens to be about your age, 'kind-of-a-hottie' and has no rings on......well "you never know what can happen......
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Old 12-22-2009, 10:44 AM
 
Location: galaxy far far away
3,111 posts, read 4,544,267 times
Reputation: 7201
Timberwolf - you are also describing what has happened in Hawaii. Not that it was all CA people - in our case there, it was a lot of Japan money that came in and did that. The housing market skyrocketed and never got back to a normal rise.

The lesson for everyone is this: Go to a place because you love it the way it is. Understand that there are a lot of relationships around you and centuries of history that you don't see just yet. Take a "wait and see" attitude before trying to change things. Don't play the compare game "back where I'm from..." ~~ most folks really don't give a flying leap. Be nice to people. Be kind and considerate. Politeness goes a long way everywhere. And remember, if you are in Montana -- they CARRY! So don't be an idiot.

Did I sum it up Timberwolf?
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Old 12-23-2009, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Montana
1,219 posts, read 2,810,745 times
Reputation: 672
Quote:
Originally Posted by R_Cowgirl View Post
Timberwolf - you are also describing what has happened in Hawaii. Not that it was all CA people - in our case there, it was a lot of Japan money that came in and did that. The housing market skyrocketed and never got back to a normal rise.

The lesson for everyone is this: Go to a place because you love it the way it is. Understand that there are a lot of relationships around you and centuries of history that you don't see just yet. Take a "wait and see" attitude before trying to change things. Don't play the compare game "back where I'm from..." ~~ most folks really don't give a flying leap. Be nice to people. Be kind and considerate. Politeness goes a long way everywhere. And remember, if you are in Montana -- they CARRY! So don't be an idiot.

Did I sum it up Timberwolf?
Will you marry me?

Well I would ask if I wasn't spoken for, but as for your post I couldn't have said it better.

Our tactic is this. We live by standards we can afford, we didn't get the bigger better faster, more disease when the market boomed, and now when it's tough, we still have our home, our kids still get what they need, and we don't have a bunch of credit to pay off. Actually this "recession" has been a sigh of relief, as prices on the things we do use have come back down a bit. I guess the thing is this... We're not rich, but we're not greedy either.

I bet it was 10 times worse in Hawaii. I couldn't imagine the kind of influx you have had there. That must be really tough to see everything go sky high and a bunch of people take over the way things should be. That's what lots of us are trying to circumvent here, but there is a new "in" with the LA style crowd thinking this is a cool place, after they destroyed small town Colorado and other areas.

Unlike Hawaii, at least we have winter here, and that keeps a lot of them at bay. and who's to tell if someone urinates on the doorstep of a persons summer home in the winter.
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Old 12-24-2009, 01:17 AM
 
281 posts, read 727,443 times
Reputation: 299
Quote:
Originally Posted by kristinem View Post
sometimes out siders have no choice, my family had to move to montana, this is where work is, and because of attiudes thike some people who have lived here all their lives me and my family get treated like ****! and we dont own some big horse ranch in fact we have to live in a fithwheel camper because no one will rent to us because we are out of staters,we have been through alot in order to make a good life for our children, my husband said "montana has very nice people" yeah! if you are not an out of stater, its freezing cold in this camper and i see no compassion from these people, and im from utah so i know what snow looks like and how cold feels, i thought small town america folks were fun loveable people? not what we have recived. and another thing my husband brought work for these locals, and their is no thanks, all the thanks we get is price gouging.....yeah thanks alot small town america.
I'm kind of surprised no one will rent to you because you're from out of town. Granted, I don't know where you are so I don't know if being strictly out of town is the reasoning for being denied.

When we moved up, we found a couple renting a duplex. They checked our background, including former places we had leased from. They based their decision on our good references. We have poor credit. They welcomed us in and were very very good to us. The landlady brought me her daughter's old winter clothing she had outgrown by the bag fulls.

I really feel lucky that people have been good to me and my family. As I have mentioned before, my husband went job hunting with california plates on our car and he was never mistreated or denied a chance at work. He went to look for a logging job and whoever he spoke with said, "I don't care where you're from, as long as you WORK and show up on time."

I hope that you will come across some folks who will do you that same kindness. I believe that if we move here with a good attitude and open heart to give and receive, we will get back and then some. Good luck to you.
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