2 Unruly children (movies, school, rated)

[poolhelper]

I have 2 girls ages 8 & 11. They are both totally unruly. Everytime that I or their grandmother tells them to do something they always have an arguement or backtalk or something so they won't have to do it. The oldest one even tells her grandmother to "chut-up". The younger one screams at the top of her lungs when we tell her "no".

Their mother is no longer in the picture because she physically and mentally abused both of them. She would not make them do anything they did not want to do. We just don't know what to do.

I have heard of a place here in Montana called "Shodair". But, I don't know how to contact them.

If there is anyone who knows of this place or something like it and how to contact them please let me know.

I need the help.

Mike

[AndersonRM]

Just Google Shodair

[maggiekate]

Originally Posted by poolhelper

I have 2 girls ages 8 & 11. They are both totally unruly. Everytime that I or their grandmother tells them to do something they always have an arguement or backtalk or something so they won't have to do it. The oldest one even tells her grandmother to "chut-up". The younger one screams at the top of her lungs when we tell her "no".

Their mother is no longer in the picture because she physically and mentally abused both of them. She would not make them do anything they did not want to do. We just don't know what to do.

I have heard of a place here in Montana called "Shodair". But, I don't know how to contact them.

If there is anyone who knows of this place or something like it and how to contact them please let me know.

I need the help.

Mike

I do wonder if you call the nanny show, if she will help-Jo
she does seem to have what it does take, and they are looking for people who do need her help! check her web site, best of luck!

[grizzfan]

Look into a program called "Total Transformation". My gut tells me that you'll bring better and lasting results by your interaction rather than relying on institutionalization.

[moose31]

How do you handle the situation when the girls flatly refuse to do something?

[Betrfutr]

Re: "unruly girls".

As a parent (not a professional psychologist), I would talk to each one separately to tell each they are loved and then explain what is expected and why. My daughter does this with her 3 year old son, too.

It takes lots of patience for you and time for them to heal. Children need consistency and training.

As a parent, I have pulled off the road when my children have opened their seat belts and waited for them to put them on, whether we were late or not. I explained to my children about what is expected behavior and consequences for actions, good or bad. I explained that I love them, but correct the behavior with loss of privileges - movies, toys, clothes, outings, etc.

Maybe their school guidance counselor, social worker, principal or teacher can help with resources.

When they were young my children's friends came to our house, so I could supervise. Later, I knew who they were with and what they were doing. I called the parents of their friends to make sure everything was okay, not to police them, but out of concern.

I got frustrated and angry a lot, but I explained to my children that was because I cared.

Best wishes to you. Keep persevering.

Betrfutr