A little MT Humor (Billings, Great Falls: houses, landscaping, to buy)

[Gman2007]

I have no idea if this is actually from Foxworthy or not but some of these just had me laughing because they are so true!



Jeff Foxworthy's Comments on Montana:

If 'vacation' to you means going shopping for the weekend in Great Falls , Billings or Bozeman (while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn), You might live in Montana .

If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord,You might live in Montana .

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by,
You might live in Montana .

If you're proud that your state makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation,You might live in Montana .

If you have ever refused to buy something because it's 'too spendy', You might live in Montana .

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You might live in Montana .

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, You might live in Montana .

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, You might live in Montana .

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You might live in Montana .

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, You might live in Montana .

If you know how to correctly pronounce Butte , You might live in Montana .

If you measure distance in hours, You might live in Montana .

If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup, You might live in Montana .

If you know several people who have hit deer more than once, you might live in Montana .

If you often switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, You might live in Montana .

If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching, You might live in Montana .

If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, you might live in Montana .

If you've installed security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, You might live in Montana .

If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around a high school basketball game, You might live in Montana .

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in Montana .

If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time, You might live in Montana .

If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve Day than on Opening Deer Rifle Season, You might live in Montana .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in Montana .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You might live in Montana .

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, You might live in Montana .

If you can identify a southern or eastern accent, You might live in Montana .

If you consider Red Lodge exotic, You might live in Montana .

If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your cottonwood, You might live in Montana .

If the sunbelt to you means Miles City , You might live in Montana .

If a brat is something you eat, You might live in Montana .

If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition, You might live in Montana .

If you find 0 degrees a little chilly, You might live in Montana .

If you actually understand these observations, You Must Live In Montana !

[rickers]

My wife walked the dog last night in her PAJAMAS when it was 12 below zero. I am not joking, she was out for over 5 minutes so I went looking for her. She shows up coming down the block from the opposite direction (I guess she went all around the block). When I asked her if she was freezing she shrugged and said I wasn't cold at all ! And she is still a "California girl" I'm surprised she put on her snow boots instead of flip flops.

[Gman2007]

I'm surprised she could walk around the block without snowshoes on!!! I couldn't even get into the street to get to my driveway here... Took me 4 hours to drive 60 miles yesterday.... it was nice they shut down the interstate after I was already on it - ha!

[rickers]

I have a devilish streak at times and can't help myself from trying to make a funny ! I just posted on the Portland Oregon Forum where someone had asked if Portland was "cultured" Well I had to do it.
I said yes, the culture has been named "Panhandleotes cyansparechangius" !

[jimj]

Originally Posted by rickers

I have a devilish streak at times and can't help myself from trying to make a funny ! I just posted on the Portland Oregon Forum where someone had asked if Portland was "cultured" Well I had to do it.
I said yes, the culture has been named "Panhandleotes cyansparechangius" !

You deserve a rep for that but as usual CD is being stingy and won't let me.

[rickers]

Because they don't want friends to do what friends do ?

[Stephan_K]

Pretty good list... describes our lives to a tee doesn't it ?!

And that last one is as true as can be... if you have never lived here you probably wouldn't understand most of those !

[seven of nine]

Attachment 33562

Traffic jam in town this afternoon......

[rickers]

I took two of these picks before I killed my camera. Pic #1 isn't from Montana but sure as heck could be. Pic #2 is a funny sign in Wild horse Plains. Pic #3 is of the plant best used for TP while in the woods when nature calls !

[Stephan_K]

Ya... that TP has that hi quality moisturizing oil in it... You'll only use that brand once . You learn real quick after that !