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Old 08-19-2010, 04:43 PM
 
299 posts, read 486,694 times
Reputation: 416

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MAN !!! ... Some great posts..

Rickers... You gotta WARN a guy when you put some of those pictures on.. That one of the "redneck brothel" knocked my off my chair.. It caught me COMPLETELY by surprise.. Hope you don't mind, but I downloaded it and will use it sometime in the future.

Greenspan... YOUR pic was just disturbing.. Well, not the pic itself, but the vague, drunkenly hazy, memory it brings up.. In my defense, she had a nice dress on at the time .. and SHE started the flirting.. ( and as I recall, it was a VERY cold winter that year)

As for the carp .. I've eaten many a carp, and they ARE a bit more labor intensive.. When I lived in Jersey I used to go to a dump to shoot some things.. I found a large stream running through it and out to the river.. I got in the habit of going there to fish sometimes.. It was kinda quiet and peaceful there.. Not many people around to bother you in a dump.. I remember once I was fishing there near evening and had a few carp on a line staying fresh in the stream.. I'm sittin there workin on a cold beer and a few feet from shore a turtle shell starts to surface.. And it just kept gettin bigger.. I swear it was a good three feet across.. Never seen one like it before.. Well, after about a minute, this ENORMOUS snapping turtle head rises above the water and just kinda looks at me.. Well, we looked at each other for a bit, and then it just submerged and wandered off out towards the river.. A few minutes later, here comes a small boat floating by with a guy standing up in it with a serious looking bow and arrow with the spool of line attatched to it for shooting fish.. The guy's staring at the water, but notices me and looks up.. I just use my beer hand and point in the direction the turtle went, and he slowly heads off towards the river after it.. I couldn't stop thinking about the turtle.. I was armed, so I'd thought about taking it out .. but I figured it probably weighed way more than I felt like wrestling around with in the water .. and I'd have gotten my boots all soaked.. Besides, I'd have had to put him in my trunk, and there's NOTHIN like somethin dead in your trunk to give it an odor, and next thing the whole car smells like crap and you gotta get another car...... PLUS, a 200 pound dead turtle isn't the sort of thing you can bring home and hand a girl and say "honey, look what I brought you".. I mean, she may not even know HOW to cut up a turtle, much less a 200 pound one.. (and you probably don't really want her to have a knife in her hand after you bring her a couple hundred pounds of dead turtle)..

Well, it seemed to be getting kinda crowded around the dump, so I decided to head home.. When I pulled in my line of fish, I found out what drew the turtle to my spot .. he'd eaten my fish.. (guess all the little bones didn't bother him).. To show how dumb a turtle can be, my beer was in the water near the fish .. and the turtle didn't bother with them..And it was Budweiser.. Go figure..

There's usually some kind of moral in most situations, but I figure there's TWO in this one..

First - Be careful about doing any shooting in a dump, especially one with a big old stream in it, because you NEVER know when someone might wander in.

Second - You can lead a 200 pound snapping turtle to shore, but you can't make him drink a beer.

By the way ... I saw the turtle several times again after that .. or at least his back.. So the guy with the bow didn't find him..

tiberius

 
Old 08-19-2010, 11:37 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,921,687 times
Reputation: 3435
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reziac View Post
I tried your advice. The cat scratched me and ran away.
LOL,
here is the first course, ok cat lovers you know I am joking

Cat
 
Old 08-20-2010, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Brendansport, Sagitta IV
7,544 posts, read 12,612,957 times
Reputation: 2954
Haha, sounds like this guy had marinated his brain once too often

Hmm. Any recipes for marinated brain??
 
Old 08-20-2010, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Brendansport, Sagitta IV
7,544 posts, read 12,612,957 times
Reputation: 2954
I'm reminded of this gem, from the wires of United Press International, dated September 18, 1980:

Police in Laurel, Mississippi report receiving a call from a woman who told them she had been attacked by a band of elves. Investigating officers were dubious to begin with, and the woman didn't help her credibility by pointing to a blank wall whenever she was talking about the window the alleged elves came through. When one of the officers pointed out that there was no window where the woman kept pointing, she reportedly told them the elves had taken it with them.
Happens I was on duty at KGLT-FM in Bozeman when this came over our teletype... unfortunately the elves never did show up to defend their honor.
 
Old 08-20-2010, 05:20 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,921,687 times
Reputation: 3435
But did they bring cookies?
you know, Keebler?
 
Old 08-20-2010, 07:21 PM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,296,531 times
Reputation: 62061
WOW, it is going to take me a while to get caught up on all the visiting that has been done on this porch.

I hope ya'll don't mind if I stick around for a wee bit.
 
Old 08-20-2010, 09:02 PM
 
299 posts, read 486,694 times
Reputation: 416
Default Elves and cats and milk baths ... oh my !!!

If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times .......... Elves simply CAN'T be trusted. ... ( except the ones in MIDDLE earth, who are well known for their sense of honor )

Speaking of marinated brains .. and oddly enough, we were .. everytime I'd go to the supermarket to get some vienna sausages, I'd notice (and WAY to near my vienna sausages) small cans of "pork brains in milk sauce" .. ... I kid you not.. Just sittin' there like it was normal or somethin'.. It was almost enough to ruin my appetite for the sausages .... ( ALMOST being the operative word ).. And the supply of them would actually diminish .. so SOMEONE was buying them...... And there's NOWHERE else to go with THAT thought.

Rez... You KNOW cats hate getting their fur wet.. Next time you might try just dipping his keeblers in the milk.. He'd probably like that.

tiberius
 
Old 08-20-2010, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Brendansport, Sagitta IV
7,544 posts, read 12,612,957 times
Reputation: 2954
Having had several cats that play in water and one that thought swimming was just fine... maybe they're just trying to get ready for dinner?
 
Old 08-20-2010, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Brendansport, Sagitta IV
7,544 posts, read 12,612,957 times
Reputation: 2954
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
WOW, it is going to take me a while to get caught up on all the visiting that has been done on this porch.

I hope ya'll don't mind if I stick around for a wee bit.
Well, fancy meetin' you here There are some pretty strange... strangers here on the porch, but don't worry, Rickers keeps the Cousins under control

Now I think I'll have me some of those cookies the elves brought. But first, let's open the window ... <draws picture of window on the wall, then opens it>
 
Old 08-20-2010, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Brendansport, Sagitta IV
7,544 posts, read 12,612,957 times
Reputation: 2954
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiberius View Post
Speaking of marinated brains .. and oddly enough, we were .. everytime I'd go to the supermarket to get some vienna sausages, I'd notice (and WAY to near my vienna sausages) small cans of "pork brains in milk sauce" .. ... I kid you not.. Just sittin' there like it was normal or somethin'.. It was almost enough to ruin my appetite for the sausages ....
Didn't you know, Vienna sausages are actually spare parts left over from when the stork is making little boys...??
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