Be careful before moving to Montana (Billings, Great Falls: house, wedding, to buy)

[bigvally]

People come here on vacation in the summer, which consists of July and August. They fall in love with the weather and the beautiful mountains, if the air isn't full of smoke from forest fires like it was summer before last. They move here and then winter sets in along with high utility bills for heating. They discover there are no decent paying jobs. The days are full of gray skies where you can't even see the mountains most of the time. Everyone takes Vitamin D and uses daylight simulating light bulbs to avoid depression. The days are shorter and darker in winter than anyplace else in the country because we're so far north and the mountains to the east prevent the sun from rising until after 9 am and the mountains to the west cause it to set at about 3:30 pm. There is nothing darker than a December night in western Montana.

People who move here from other places DO move away. It's been happening for decades. They move away because they find they have to work two jobs and still can't support a family. They can't afford to buy a house because they can't make any money. They HATE the winters with the heavy snowfall, below zero temperatures, freezing fog and wind.

People who grew up here know how to go camping safely, summer and winter. They enjoy winter activities. They know you have to have two sets of tires, one for summer and one for winter. They know you may have to have an engine heater installed so your car will start in the morning. They know it costs a lot of money to keep horses. They are lifetime members of Cabella's. If you don't know what that is, you shouldn't come here!

They know how to live safely with bears, big cats and wolves. When I was in high school we used to have betting pools on how many CA tourists were going to be killed by bears the next summer. Tacky I know...but there wasn't much to do in Polson .

Someone sent the following to me recently and I feel it could be beneficial to anyone who might be considering moving here and might feel awkward after they get here:

How to Know if You Grew Up in Montana

1. You know how to polka but never tried it sober...
2. You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and the wedding dance.
3. You buy Christmas presents at Murdoch's.
4. You spent more on beer and liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
5. You hear someone use the words "oof-dah" or "Holy Buckets" and you don't break into uncontrollable laughter.
6. You or someone you know was a "Cherry Blossom" queen, "Beef Queen" or "Dairy Princess".
7. You know that "combine" is a noun.
8. You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter, or peeing on a electric fence.
9. You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
10. You know that "creek" rhymes with "pick".
11. Football schedules, branding calves and weaning, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
12. A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.
13. Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.
14. Crusing "main" lasts for 6 blocks.
15. You have driven your car on a lake.
16. You can make sense of "upnort" and "batree".
17. Your definition of a small town is that it only has one bar.
18. The local gas station sells live bait right next to the local jerked beef and homemade jam.
19. At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
20. You understand that brakes on silage trucks are considered a luxury.
21. "Bulldoggin" is an event.
22. You grew up thinking that the opening day of deer and pheasant seasons are national holidays.
23. The trip into town for school takes longer than your lunch period.

So, consider carefully before moving to Montana

[magoomafoo]

Originally Posted by bigvally

People come here on vacation in the summer, which consists of July and August. They fall in love with the weather and the beautiful mountains, if the air isn't full of smoke from forest fires like it was summer before last. They move here and then winter sets in along with high utility bills for heating. They discover there are no decent paying jobs. The days are full of gray skies where you can't even see the mountains most of the time. Everyone takes Vitamin D and uses daylight simulating light bulbs to avoid depression. The days are shorter and darker in winter than anyplace else in the country because we're so far north and the mountains to the east prevent the sun from rising until after 9 am and the mountains to the west cause it to set at about 3:30 pm. There is nothing darker than a December night in western Montana.

People who move here from other places DO move away. It's been happening for decades. They move away because they find they have to work two jobs and still can't support a family. They can't afford to buy a house because they can't make any money. They HATE the winters with the heavy snowfall, below zero temperatures, freezing fog and wind.

People who grew up here know how to go camping safely, summer and winter. They enjoy winter activities. They know you have to have two sets of tires, one for summer and one for winter. They know you may have to have an engine heater installed so your car will start in the morning. They know it costs a lot of money to keep horses. They are lifetime members of Cabella's. If you don't know what that is, you shouldn't come here!

They know how to live safely with bears, big cats and wolves. When I was in high school we used to have betting pools on how many CA tourists were going to be killed by bears the next summer. Tacky I know...but there wasn't much to do in Polson .

Someone sent the following to me recently and I feel it could be beneficial to anyone who might be considering moving here and might feel awkward after they get here:

How to Know if You Grew Up in Montana

1. You know how to polka but never tried it sober...
2. You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and the wedding dance.
3. You buy Christmas presents at Murdoch's.
4. You spent more on beer and liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
5. You hear someone use the words "oof-dah" or "Holy Buckets" and you don't break into uncontrollable laughter.
6. You or someone you know was a "Cherry Blossom" queen, "Beef Queen" or "Dairy Princess".
7. You know that "combine" is a noun.
8. You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter, or peeing on a electric fence.
9. You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
10. You know that "creek" rhymes with "pick".
11. Football schedules, branding calves and weaning, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
12. A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.
13. Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.
14. Crusing "main" lasts for 6 blocks.
15. You have driven your car on a lake.
16. You can make sense of "upnort" and "batree".
17. Your definition of a small town is that it only has one bar.
18. The local gas station sells live bait right next to the local jerked beef and homemade jam.
19. At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
20. You understand that brakes on silage trucks are considered a luxury.
21. "Bulldoggin" is an event.
22. You grew up thinking that the opening day of deer and pheasant seasons are national holidays.
23. The trip into town for school takes longer than your lunch period.

So, consider carefully before moving to Montana

So much truth to this. Of course being a lifetime member of the NRA is a prerequisite. I had to laugh at #11. When my parents got married umpteen years ago, my dad was late to the nuptials because he had bagged a huge buck. When I got married, our best man didn't make it because he was cat hunting and one of his dogs got on a different track and disappeared. One thing though, the LDS church is fast becoming huge due to the influx of members from Idaho. I cannot tell you how many times out of staters have moved to our town after a quaint little visit in the summertime only to move as soon as the snow will allow the next spring. Always brings a smile to my face. I especially love Sunday afternoons at the local watering hole during hunting season. Almost every truck parked will contain some sort of critter. The looks on some of the newbies faces is priceless! Get used to it. This is Montana Jack, get used to it. Don't like it, move or better yet, don't come. Out of staters come with kids in tow not knowing what hard life is. Sure, they may have a great outlook when they first get here, but it will soon change. The kids start whining soon after arrival because the local mall is not four blocks away. Montana does not have the convienences of L.A. lol. In style usually consists of Wranglers and a baseball cap. Your cute little fast sports car is gonna get it's butt kicked by the local ranchers kids Ford. Not to mention, pulled out of a foot tall snowdrift in the winter by the same truck.

Your description of Montana was right on. Love the list. We should all add one of our own.

[bigvally]

If you're lucky maybe you can find a mall 40 miles away!! I drove 50 miles yesterday just for a cable to hook up a new TV!! Of course we try to consolidate errands if we make the trip so I also hit the garden center, the library and filled up on cheaper gas than I can get in the little town where I live! The expression my brother-in-law who is now out of state uses is "Come to Montana, get ready to drive!"

Montana natives think nothing of driving 100 miles to get their snow tires put on, go shopping and get their hearing aids adjusted, all in one trip! And, in the winter depending on the road you're on, you may not pass another car on the trip. It's not California folks!

[T-310]

#24 You grew up in Montana and instinctively know never to ask for a weather report...............just wait five minutes.

[magoomafoo]

#25 your school allows for two exempt absences for hunting season

[Redraven]

#17: no, one bar isn't a small town, that's a stage stop along the highway.
When I was a kid, Hungry Horse had 13 bars. Martin City had at least 5 bars, and a "house of ill repute". IIRC, Coram had 4 bars.

I do agree with the weather comments for Northwestern Montana, though. That's one of the reasons we are in Billings. Winter is much nicer! We get to see the sun fairly often!

[WyoNewk]

You don't think Montana is that much different than Wyoming, I hope. Your number 11 should also include prime fishing season.... I grabbed this shot at a wedding last year.

Waiting for "the hatch" to end

[seven of nine]

So do you think every person who moves to Montana does so on a wing and a prayer?
Some actually prepare and study. I would challenge you to make it a year in Oregon with two days a year of sunshine. Don't cast aspersions. One of these newcomers might be on a life flight saving your hinney.

[rickers]

Originally Posted by bigvally

I drove 50 miles yesterday just for a cable to hook up a new TV!! Montana natives think nothing of driving 100 miles to get their snow tires put on, go shopping and get their hearing aids adjusted, all in one trip! And, in the winter depending on the road you're on, you may not pass another car on the trip. It's not California folks!

It's hard to understand why any one would drive 50 miles to get to watch TV ! Order it online it's much cheaper ! Most Montana so called natives put their own snow tires on or don't bother with changing tires at all.
It may not be California yet but it sure is starting to look like it !
I hear too many folks spouting BS on the way Montana is when they only visited or may have lived here many years back and haven't been back for years. The Op lives in Western Montana but the post seems to describe eastern Montana. The pictures below are pictures of the REAL Montana natives.

[Redraven]

I am not a "native Montanan", I'm from Pennsylvania, came out here in 1948.
Some of my kids, though, are third generation "natives" on their Mother's side.
I have lived on a homestead in the Bull Mountains, completely "off the grid" before that was something to be desired.
I have lived in Hungry Horse and Columbia Falls.
I have lived in Great Falls.
Now I live in Billings.
Oh, yes, there is a BIG difference in the weather, and the amount of sun per day, between the East side and the Northwest side! I like the East side MUCH better!

REAL Montana natives? It depends on how far back you go. The "natives" that Lewis and Clark found actually came from someplace else, too.
"Who made the Medicine Wheel?"
"It was made by Those Who Went Before!"
"Oh, what happened to them?"
(silence)