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Old 01-12-2012, 12:29 PM
 
Location: New York
218 posts, read 509,998 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gummyworm View Post
Having travelled a bit, I have encountered some culture that can genuinely be qualified as "friendly", because people are simply very proactive socially, they have an easier time approaching strangers and are really inquisitive of others.
And what is this culture or it's a secret?
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Old 01-13-2012, 03:21 AM
 
Location: UK
61 posts, read 348,925 times
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You all make some very interesting points. I guess, like everything else in life, the "friendliness" of others is SUBJECTIVE. What I consider to be friendly/unfriendly or social/anti-social behaviour might be different to other people. There is also of course the issue of good/bad social skills and good/bad manners.

I think that most visitors as well as long-term immigrants to the UK would agree that the English are polite in most circumstances (i.e. if you stop someone on the street because you are lost they make a genuine effort to help you, etc) This behaviour (i.e. being quite well-mannered in situations where a stranger is talking to another stranger) is in my view different to being friendly. I would say the English are well-mannered in most social circumstances, but this does not make them friendly.

It also very much depends on your own native culture, etc. The southern Europeans I meet here in the UK would instantly describe the English as "unfriendly" purely beacuse their own social interactions are very different to the UK. For example they often comment that the English never have dinner/parties at their homes, but that in southern Europe, it's quite normal to invite people round fairly soon after you have decided you like them !! They also find it odd that neighbours living just a few metres away from each don't say "good morning" or look away without eye contact.

The northern Europeans, on the other hand, have lots of similarities to the UK. I have never heard Swedes, Norwegians, Finns complaining about how unfriendly the English are, purely because they have a very similar culture and they can relate to the English being very reserved. It's the same if you are Japanese. They tend to feel quite happy in the UK because Japanese culture (from what my Japanese friends tell me) is equally reserved.

At the other end of the spectrum, there are also cultures which are a little too "familiar" (i.e. a stranger in a supermarket asking you lots of personal questions). I don't think being overly familiar with people is a sign of being friendly. I have come across certain cultures where people just bombard you with questions purely because they wish to know lots of things about you. In some instances it's a pretext to ask you for guidance about their own social situation, problems, etc. Personally I would not describe these cultures as necessarily friendly - they don't wish to be your friend necessarily - they just don't wish to be left alone to deal with their own social problems and so constantly seek the support of others.

My personal view is that no matter WHERE you live it always pays off to smile and have good manners in all social settings, but NOT to be overly familiar. The balance is a very difficult one, but some cultures manage it better than others.

On this basis, I would very much welcome living somewhere that is more welcoming to "new" people moving in and not petrified of them !! However, I would consider it not very polite on my part, for example, as a newbie to "pester" people with lots of personal questions, etc which would make them feel uncomfortable. As an immigrant to a new place, I find that it's important to be aware that YOU are the one trying to fit in and that therefore it is your responsibility to make sure you behave appropriatley in all social situations. If the locals are then still unwelcoming no matter how polite you are, you at least know that YOU have tried your best and stop blaming yourself !!

I honestly think how you behave really comes down to how you were brought up in your own family to interact with other people. Social skills are something you learn from an early age. For example I insist that my son always says hello to all the adults I talk to, purely because I'm keen that he should understand how important it is to make others feel at ease by acknowledging them. I say to him "If you smile and say hello to all the adults that I know and speak to them, they will also learn to treat you well" ; )

My son says hello to all our neighbours, even the ones who used to fail to say hello to him !
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Old 01-14-2012, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Montreal
194 posts, read 423,113 times
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I am myself an immigrant to Montreal, neither of English or French descent but I speak and work in both languages. Montreal is an interesting, multicultural city but not necessarily friendly. It is not British polite but very far from the Southern European mentality.

Compared with Western Europe Montreal is way more immigrant friendly, h
owever in respect of the other big cities from Canada or USA I think the level of integration is lower. It is a city where even after one or two generations some immigrants identify themselves as being Italians, Greeks and so on rather than Canadian or Quebecker. You will see this much less in Toronto or New York.


Myself I found the interaction with French Quebeckers much easier and sincere outside of Montreal. In the city you can feel sometimes that it is us (French) vs them (Anglophones or immigrants) sort of thing.
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Old 01-15-2012, 07:51 AM
 
2 posts, read 10,305 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gummyworm View Post

First, talking about french courses. Don't waste your money.

...

The trick in this city is to be active. It's much easier to get more meaningful contacts, by joining an activity.
...

One thing to note about hosting or attending a gathering with french Quebeckers in particular: they're notoriously cliquey.
...

If there's one thing you need to take away from all this: be active in the city and you'll enjoy it.
These are all very good and true points.

Kayjay, since you have a son, you will probably also be able to socialize through his activities. Montreal and its suburbs all have great sports programs for kids, particularly ice hockey, so investing in skating lessons, if he doesn't know how to skate would be the best for him. They have leagues at all levels, so don't worry if he isn't a "jock". There is also a big interest in soccer (as we call football) and every area has it's own soccer associations (for kids).

I wish I could give you an impartial opinion about Verdun, it hasn't had the best history, but I've heard it's changing. Anjou is very family friendly, but farther from downtown. Since you have a young son and your husband will be working downtown, you may want to look at the suburbs on the South Shore of Montreal, particularly Brossard, it has a very mixed population, both culturally and socio-economically and in close proximity to downtown, both by car and public transportation, and some of the lowest municipal taxes in the Montreal area.
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Old 01-15-2012, 09:56 AM
 
Location: UK
61 posts, read 348,925 times
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Mtlcitizen and Kent - thanks so much.
I am really looking forward to my husband visiting Montreal - he is going there in a few weeks and I think we will get a better picture of Montreal. I'm sure being a large city it will have similarities to other big cities in the USA, Canada, etc. I was surprised to read that over 27% of Montreal's population are immigrants, which tells me that it is very cosmopolitan.
I have also read that Montreal has an amazing range of international restaurants which I really look forward to as we often like to socialise with other families eating out, etc. but are very restricted where we live at the moment which has a very poor range of places to eat compared to London.
Thanks about the comments on Verdun. Another poster mentioned it for having cheaper rent and being near to downtown, so I thought I would check it out, but it's not our only choice at the moment. We will have to check out the other places you have mentioned.
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Old 01-15-2012, 10:36 AM
 
7 posts, read 28,524 times
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Kayjay you can also drop in at the Cops Shop and they will tell you if the area his safe. But like i said has long has you have acces to the metro it does not matter where you live. Montreal has the best bus/metro service in the world ( dont take my word for it they won it last year.) And has for restaurent and a diverse kind of food you will find that St-Laurence street has that diversity....and by the way what nationality are you?
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Old 01-15-2012, 12:15 PM
 
7 posts, read 28,524 times
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''Montreal
See also: Category:Organized crime in Montreal
Biker gangs operate from clubhouses based in Montreal. Over the years numerous members have been arrested, firearms and homicide charges. Between 1994 and 2002 a biker war between gangs led to a period of increased violence which would become known as the Quebec Biker war. Traditional organized crime has had a presence in the city since the early 1900s, mainly in the form of the Irish mob and the Italian mafia.
United smaller street gangs made up of mostly youths are pocketed in different areas of the Montreal area, particularly in Montréal-Nord,[9] Sud-Ouest, St-Michel, Parc-Extension, West Island, St-François, Côte-des-Neiges, NDG, Ville St-Laurent (St-Low), Rivière-des-Prairies and St-Léonard neighbourhoods.
The city's largest street gangs in 2006 were:[10]
  • the Crips located in Saint-Michel, Pierrefonds, Villeray, Ahuntsic, Parc-Extension, Lasalle, Lachine, NDG , Little Burgundy, and Côte-des-Neiges.
  • the Bloods located in Côte-des-Neiges, Montréal-Nord, Rivière-des-Prairies, Laval, St-Léonard, and Ville St-Laurent (St-Lo 64).''

The list will give a idear of the gans operating in montreal. Now being from England it his not something we think about but since we are so close to the US it his something to think about...the cop wil help
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Old 01-15-2012, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Gatineau, Québec
26,882 posts, read 38,026,310 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayjay12 View Post
Mtlcitizen and Kent - thanks so much.
I am really looking forward to my husband visiting Montreal - he is going there in a few weeks and I think we will get a better picture of Montreal. .
Unless he is already from a cold climate country he might be in for a shock!
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Old 01-15-2012, 05:31 PM
 
Location: Gatineau, Québec
26,882 posts, read 38,026,310 times
Reputation: 11650
Quote:
Originally Posted by rejeane View Post
''Montreal
See also: Category:Organized crime in Montreal
Biker gangs operate from clubhouses based in Montreal. Over the years numerous members have been arrested, firearms and homicide charges. Between 1994 and 2002 a biker war between gangs led to a period of increased violence which would become known as the Quebec Biker war. Traditional organized crime has had a presence in the city since the early 1900s, mainly in the form of the Irish mob and the Italian mafia.
United smaller street gangs made up of mostly youths are pocketed in different areas of the Montreal area, particularly in Montréal-Nord,[9] Sud-Ouest, St-Michel, Parc-Extension, West Island, St-François, Côte-des-Neiges, NDG, Ville St-Laurent (St-Low), Rivière-des-Prairies and St-Léonard neighbourhoods.
The city's largest street gangs in 2006 were:[10]
  • the Crips located in Saint-Michel, Pierrefonds, Villeray, Ahuntsic, Parc-Extension, Lasalle, Lachine, NDG , Little Burgundy, and Côte-des-Neiges.
  • the Bloods located in Côte-des-Neiges, Montréal-Nord, Rivière-des-Prairies, Laval, St-Léonard, and Ville St-Laurent (St-Lo 64).''

The list will give a idear of the gans operating in montreal. Now being from England it his not something we think about but since we are so close to the US it his something to think about...the cop wil help
Things have quietened down quite a bit on the biker gang front in Quebec in recent years.
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Old 01-15-2012, 09:09 PM
 
126 posts, read 557,213 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gummyworm View Post
Hello Rejeane, I have some close friends who are french Quebeckers and through them I've had many opportunities to interact with their friends (btw, my native language is french too ). My opinions come as a surprise to them as well, because the popular notion is that french Quebeckers are friendly. I'm not a social expert I can only speak from experience.

You need to first understand that although you know your friends (and family) as being very nice people, the way they will interact with strangers may not coincide with your own perception of them and although unintentional, may not come off as particularly friendly.

Speaking very generally, french Quebeckers are rather tolerant, cordial and accommodating, which certainly lays the ground for easier interactions and in turn offers some potential for friendship. They are not however as "friendly" as it's generally led to believe. Native french Quebeckers from Montreal can be particularly distant with people they don't know (whether you're an immigrant or not). In social gatherings I've often seen this atmosphere where people just stick with their friends. I don't believe it's meant to be negative, but it certainly isn't typical of a friendly culture.

Having travelled a bit, I have encountered some culture that can genuinely be qualified as "friendly", because people are simply very proactive socially, they have an easier time approaching strangers and are really inquisitive of others. To understand, try to think of one of your friends who has an easy time talking to strangers in the subway, on the street, in waiting rooms, etc. There are cultures where this is a natural mode of operation and not seen as odd as it would often be the case in Montreal. Now imagine attending a party with such people. In no time, you'll be engaged with people yelling and laughing at the top of their lungs as if you had known them for years. Note that such people may otherwise not necessarily be as tolerant, cordial or accommodating as french Quebeckers, but they are certainly friendlier.

When attending my friends' gatherings in Montreal, if I had stayed quiet in my corner because I knew nobody (as some of their other guests have done), nobody would come and talk to me either. Newcomers hear of Montreal's friendliness and mistakenly think that all they have to do is show up in a public place and they'll easily make friends, then they're disappointed. Montreal is a city where you really need to be actively social and engage others yourself, because most people, although not closed to new interactions, are relatively passive on that regard.
So Montreal is like the rest of Canada then. I'm not surprised.

The idea that Canadians are friendly is a joke.
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