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Old 10-27-2018, 11:03 AM
 
Location: Kansas City North
3,628 posts, read 6,770,201 times
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My question is, if you buy this house jointly, and if she were to leave for whatever reason, could you handle the payment yourself?

If you can qualify for the mortgage yourself (or if she can) I think it would be better for just one of you to buy the house and let the other contribute towards the monthly expenses.

My BIL bought a house with his girlfriend and he ended up having to go to court to unravel it after they split up.
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Old 10-27-2018, 02:31 PM
 
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I agree with having an agreement in place beforehand. It's not always as awful as some people point out if it splits up, but it COULD be, especially in the absence of a prior agreement. You need to address such issues as how the proceeds will be split if you decide to sell it (did you put up equal shares of the down payment? Will you each be contributing equally to ongoing monthly expenses?). What if one loses a job and can no longer pay? What if one wants to sell and the other doesn't? How should the house be valued (in other words, who values it) if one wants to buy the other out? How will you split the tax deductions? It might be most advantageous to take turns claiming all of them, but who goes first? Or could you split whatever tax savings they create when one person deducts them all? One tax accountant told me the IRS doesn't care who claims what, as long as the total between the two of you is correct.

Do you think you'll be in agreement on when to fix or upgrade? Will you have a common account where you save for that?

I actually did this, WITHOUT a previous agreement. I have to say it went pretty well at the end even though I moved in with a new BF (later my first husband) and a tenant occupied my portion of the house, which was the lower floor of a 2-family. We agreed to sell, I drew up an agreement specifying how the proceeds would be split (I'd put up a far bigger % of the down payment but we'd contributed equally to the monthly costs) and he agreed with it. I still recommend a prior agreement!
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Old 10-27-2018, 03:42 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
1,245 posts, read 483,654 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Copanut View Post
Run away!
Best answer. ^


DO NOT DO THIS.


When the break up occurs and both names are on the deed and the mortgage there will be no agreement as to who gets what. There will only be hostility with both sides digging in their heels.


That ends up requiring a partition action which means lawyers ($$$) and court and an auction sale to investors for a lot less than market value.


NEVER get financially involved with girlfriends. Don't even live with them.
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Old 10-27-2018, 03:46 PM
 
16,512 posts, read 17,561,528 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WorkingToRetire View Post
I am considering a mortgage with my girlfriend.
I know when married and a divorce is lined up, everyone lawyers up and settles accordingly.

But if we arent married, and the relationship ends/I want to move out, does she have to sell ? Do I hire a lawyer and the lawyers serves papers, or can the person on the other end of the mortgage make it difficult and hold my downpament/built equity hostage ?

I am not looking to end the relationship already, I ust want to get an idea before going all in what I am potentially dealing with in regards to selling/exiting the mortgage with someone who is not cooperative.
It’s no different than a partnership of a few people buying a house together. The difference is you’re actually screwing each other. Literally. If you break up if one wants the house they need to buy the other out. They get a loan or pay the other person thr6 release their portion of the interest of the property. Otherwise the house is sold and they split the profits at whatever percentage was agreed on ownership
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Old Yesterday, 11:19 AM
 
1,369 posts, read 302,832 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WorkingToRetire View Post
I am considering a mortgage with my girlfriend.
I know when married and a divorce is lined up, everyone lawyers up and settles accordingly.

But if we arent married, and the relationship ends/I want to move out, does she have to sell ? Do I hire a lawyer and the lawyers serves papers, or can the person on the other end of the mortgage make it difficult and hold my downpament/built equity hostage ?

I am not looking to end the relationship already, I ust want to get an idea before going all in what I am potentially dealing with in regards to selling/exiting the mortgage with someone who is not cooperative.

She does not have to sell. And yes, she can hold it hostage. Part of it is how you hold title. You should hold as tenants in common if you think there is any change your relationship will end. The option most married couples choose joint tenants which mostly has a right of survivorship, meaning if one person died, the other automatically inherits the other's part.

I personally think it's a bad idea to buy property with someone you are not married to unless it's a sibling or blood relative and even then can be bad.
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Old Yesterday, 11:20 AM
 
1,369 posts, read 302,832 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WorkingToRetire View Post
Thank your for the response.

It basically sounds like we would have to come to an agreement on how to deal with the property/money.
If one party decides to be uncooperative, can I legally leverage the other party to agree to sell? Or is it possible in the event the other party absolutely refuses to sell/ buy me out, I could stand to lose my entire investment ?
You would likely have to go to court to force the sale. Costly. Don't do it.
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Old Yesterday, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,262 posts, read 49,809,717 times
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Nope nope nopity nope.
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Old Yesterday, 11:29 AM
 
Location: North State (California)
28,413 posts, read 2,213,490 times
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I would never co-sign a 30 year loan, unless I was pretty sure I'd still be friends with the co signer after 30 years.

Legal or written agreements are fine, until emotions get involved & then it all goes to hell. Maybe buy your own place.
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Old Yesterday, 11:39 AM
 
1,019 posts, read 531,245 times
Reputation: 2720
Quote:
Originally Posted by Okey Dokie View Post

If you can qualify for the mortgage yourself (or if she can) I think it would be better for just one of you to buy the house and let the other contribute towards the monthly expenses.
The problem with that is if a breakup occurs the person who isn't on the mortgage owns 0% of the house they contributed to. If I were contributing to a mortgage I would certainly want my fair share of any proceeds if the house were sold down the line.

That said I did buy my house when my wife and I were still dating. I earned significantly more money than her and contributed much more to the household and we went into it with the understanding that it was "my" house. Now we are married and everything is hers
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Old Yesterday, 12:16 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,499 posts, read 15,947,527 times
Reputation: 38868
Quote:
Originally Posted by Okey Dokie View Post
(snip)

If you can qualify for the mortgage yourself (or if she can) I think it would be better for just one of you to buy the house and let the other contribute towards the monthly expenses.
Quote:
Originally Posted by clawsondude View Post
The problem with that is if a breakup occurs the person who isn't on the mortgage owns 0% of the house they contributed to. If I were contributing to a mortgage I would certainly want my fair share of any proceeds if the house were sold down the line.
(snip)
I'll share what happened to my friend. She lived with her BF in his house for over 35 years. She paid part of the mortgage every month(until the house was paid off) as well as shared expenses. She was never put on the title (she said that the BF kept saying that it "isn't important to do that" and kept "putting it off"). Well, he died suddenly and his will left the house & all the contents to his adult daughter.


My friend had to move out of the house that she had lived in and helped pay the mortgage and taxes for over 35 years one week after her BF's funeral. She was allowed to take her personal belongings (suitcases, clothes & make-up) but nothing else. What a mess. No place to live, no furniture, nothing to show, not even a set of dishes or cook ware for 35 years of paying the mortgage/taxes on someone else's house. This 60 plus year old woman has nothing to show for over 35 years of contributing to the house.

Last edited by germaine2626; Yesterday at 12:41 PM..
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