Helpful hints for Naples snowbirds (The Villages: motorhome, pharmacy, living)

[markjames68]

Here are a few helpful hints for our seasonal retirees...tongue in cheek - yet not.

1) you are retired. EVERY day is the weekend for you now. For those who have forgotten, non-retirees do something called "work", generally Monday through Friday. Therefore, we generally do food shopping on Saturday and Sunday. Why, oh why, do you go to Trader Joe's and Costco during these times, instead of say 2pm on Tuesday? The crowds are less then too. It is getting painful to find a parking space and also painful when getting my foot run over by a power scooter. Twice. By the same scooter.

2) you are retired, you do not need to follow a set schedule anymore. Why, oh why, do you decide to drive around town at 8-9am, generally going 10 under the limit with your turn signal on? Why not relax and head out at 9:15 when working people have arrived at the office? This is usually less of a problem at 5pm as you are finishing dinner and getting ready for bed.

3) you are a welcome guest here, and we really do appreciate your money. However, this doesn't entitle you to special treatment, any more so than for anyone else. Courtesy is appreciated and just because you are here in season and have money to spend it doesn't mean you automatically get a table at a restaurant, no matter how loudly you ask or how shiny your Bentley is. Try Opentable and book ahead.

4) I realize that as retirees, you may be relaxed socially, inclined to have a drink or two, and are hard of hearing. There are small people who also live here, as hard as it may be to believe. They are called "children", and they don't need to be treated to your ribald stories shouted for all to hear. I heard that there is a raging gonorrhea epidemic in The Villages, and I wonder if there is a similar Rogaine and Levitra-fueled orgy coming to Naples soon. From what my young son heard, I believe so.

5) at some point, your judgment will become impaired. Don't worry, it happens to all of us. Eventually, you shouldn't drive. Try Uber. You shouldn't stop in the aisle at Costco and snack away while catching up with one of your buddies. Move over please, I appreciate it! If I seem rushed, it's really because I am moving at normal speed. It just seems fast to you.

These are five favorites...any others?

[markjames68]

From a few minutes ago...

6) if you are suffering from age-related late-onset red-green color blindness, you may have trouble at stoplights. When the light turns to green, I realize the 10 or so seconds you need to decide if it is green or red is a challenge, so don't interpret the friendly honk on the horn as being rude. Or the second. Or the third one where I am leaning on my horn. It's not personal.

7) Modern Buicks have rack and pinion steering and good acceleration. So when the light turns and you want to do a U-turn, please feel free to do so at more than 3 mph. It would be much appreciated if more than 2 cars can turn on a green arrow!

[OneToGo]

lol.....next time you're behind me I'll be the guy giving you the finger from the back window of the Aston Gardens bus.

[froglipz]

Turn signal on? Not in Florida! Brake lights are the Florida turn signals.

[markjames68]

8) I realize that your vision may not be what it used to be, but it's not generally helpful to just pull out into traffic without actually verifying that there are no oncoming cars. Jesus may be your co-pilot, but unless you want to see Him sooner, please visit your eye doctor and have your prescription checked.

[Ellwood]

Naples is just a three day stop for us headed south. Yes, we are snowbirds and make an effort to not go to stores, post office, pharmacy, etc. when people are going to work.

My vision is very good and I have noticed when we are in Naples the drivers, who are on the phone, texting, not signaling and cutting across four lanes of traffic are mostly local younger people. When we arrive and leave we are driving a motorhome, so it is pretty obvious who is in the car and what they are doing.

Since the large increase in traffic and erratic drivers in Naples, we have decided to avoid it and spend our money somewhere else.

[Tripower455]

Originally Posted by Ellwood

Naples is just a three day stop for us headed south. Yes, we are snowbirds and make an effort to not go to stores, post office, pharmacy, etc. when people are going to work.

My vision is very good and I have noticed when we are in Naples the drivers, who are on the phone, texting, not signaling and cutting across four lanes of traffic are mostly local younger people. When we arrive and leave we are driving a motorhome, so it is pretty obvious who is in the car and what they are doing.

Since the large increase in traffic and erratic drivers in Naples, we have decided to avoid it and spend our money somewhere else.

Yup. When I moved here almost 30 years ago, snowbirds were the major irritant on the roads during geriatric bumper car season.

Nowadays, the birds are barely a blip on the annoyance radar while negotiating the rolling obstacle course that is "driving" in FL, when compared to the idiots texting and doing everything except paying attention to the road.

I call the cell phone "the great equalizer" (God created man, but Sam Sung and Steve Jobs made them morons), as they make people of all ages drive worse than a blind octogenarian or someone who's under the influence. Truly frightening stuff.

[tmozer]

We "old" people are living longer and taking over the country! So get use to us......

(At 67 I still don't feel old. Well unless I have to stand after sitting on the floor with nothing to grab onto........).

[Tripower455]

9. The left lane is for PASSING, not DRIVING 10 mph below the limit next to someone else.

[markjames68]

Originally Posted by tmozer

We "old" people are living longer and taking over the country! So get use to us......

(At 67 I still don't feel old. Well unless I have to stand after sitting on the floor with nothing to grab onto........).

Age is a frame of mind to some extent.

And I'm not (really) complaining, but observing things everyday that make me go 'huh'?