Please compare southern living to upper midwestern living (Memphis, Belle Meade: fit in, apartment)

[#Littledog]

Ok, I know this has probably been discussed many times before but our family is seriously considering a move from Milwaukee to Nashville and I need to know what it's like living in the south if you grew up in the north. To give you some background, my husband and I are very adaptable people and tend to fit in with many different circles of people. We're very open to embracing a new culture, way of life but I also don't want to be super homesick for midwestern culture once the novelty wears off. When we tell our friends and family we're thinking about moving to the Nashville area, many of them will say, "well, it's different in the south" or "you might really miss the midwest". What do people mean when they say that??? I push for specific examples and they just say "well, it's different" or maybe "the pace is slower". I am really confused-is it really THAT different in the south, especially city-living which is what we're used to? The main reason for moving is to get away from the winters. I know the hot, humid summers will bother us less than the frozen tundra we experience every year. I'd really appreciate your advise!

[Tunky]

ok, I'll do my best and hope I don't offend anyone!

I feel like a broken record but here's our background because it will help in this case.
I grew up in the UP, my husband grew up in Ohio...from 1987-2007 I lived in Green Bay and loved it. In 2006 my husband lost his job and we had to relocate. He took a job in Memphis, I stayed in GB for another year to get our youngest boy out of High school.

I've also lived in California and Germany. My husband has lived in Alabama...being from Southeastern Ohio, he is more southern than I am.

Memphis is not a good place to live...so we are moving to Nashville as well. It's a two part process though...I'm moving first and he'll follow when he gets the right job opportunity, so it's back to being a commuter couple for awhile.

The South IS different...I miss the Midwest everyday...but that's not to say the south isn't nice (aside from Memphis, LOL). I think I understand what you're getting at. We tend to lean to the left a bit ourselves....but we're certainly not extremists. We embrace other cultures and are not judgmental about lifestyles different from our own. We enjoy going to church but are not as involved in church as some Bible Belters...at home in WI we were as normal as normal could be.

What we've run into down here is a lot of people who think if you have a few beers during a football game....you're doomed to hell. That was a surprise to us. We also love to play cards and I was shocked to learn that some people consider that a sin!

However...that being said....it certainly isn't everybody who thinks that way. It will take you aback the first couple times someone reacts that way...but...you'll find your people. You just have to look for them.

I try not to be the northern version of the "ugly american" and expect the natives to adjust to me...because that's not going to happen. But I plan to work at finding my people. That's not to say that I can't make friends with conservative folks...but we all know that it's more fun to be friends with people that make you comfortable.

The "slow" thing is best noticed in stores! LOL Lines take forever sometimes....the clerks have all the time in the world and it's hard to not just grab the bags and pack your own groceries!

Southern hospitality in my opinion (don't kill me people)...consists of people having nice manners...but there is not the sense of midwestern "friendliness". People are gracious and will call you ma'am and sir...but they're not likely to strike up a conversation in a restaurant or sports bar like we're used to back home. I've gone to the same church in Memphis for 9 months...people smile and say hello and are perfectly nice...but not warm and friendly. I have friends from all over the country and they always comment on how "freakishly friendly" the people in WI are.

then there is the other extreme where people you don't know invite you to their church...which is kind...but then you find out they want to save you from your beer-drinking-sinner ways. (seriously...we might have 2 or 3 beers a week).

We were happy to get away from winter too...however, this year I was ready to move home. I believe though, that Nashville will be better than Memphis and hopefully some of the homesickness will go away.

I think...that while you embrace your new home and it's culture....if you can find some of "your people"...it will help the feelings of homesickness. I love meeting new people...but I was also thrilled to find out that there is a group of Green Bay Packer fans that meet in Nashville. I'm going to seek them out. When I lived in Germany I loved mixing in with German culture..but it was comforting to have a taste of home now and again too.

Hope that helps a little bit....feel free to contact me with any other questions.

And hey...do you play Euchre or any other card games? LOL

[hulalula]

My husband is also from the UP (Upper Pensula) Michigan near Wisconsin. I am originally from Kentucky so being here is alot like home for me. However, I grew up on Navy bases all over the world and am used to new places, but my adult self has no cold tolerance at all so I have to stay in a relatively warm spot.

My husband was in the Navy for 20 years and has been gone from the UP for 23 years. He still misses that area. That is not to say that he does not appreciate our new home and really likes the Nashville area. But you will not meet a more died in the wool, hard core Yooper than my husband. He will always consider himself "from" that area.

Last Saturday we had a fire in the back yard and the kids cooked hot dogs and smores, we watched the lightening bugs and it was a cool pleasant night. We called his sister in Wisconsin and they were having snow flakes in the air and were still cold. His nephew is in the twin cities was talking about part of the interstate being closed for snow storms. After he got off the phone he sighed and said this is what we moved to Tennessee for and seemed very happy to be here and not there. In fact he told his nephew that they should consider moving down here.

I think you will always miss parts of where you are from but you will be glad to be away from other things. As long as you have an open mind to your new home you will grow to like it's good points too. As Tunky said you will meet people who share your ideas and make friends.

[quote=Tunky;3634922]The "slow" thing is best noticed in stores! LOL Lines take forever sometimes....the clerks have all the time in the world and it's hard to not just grab the bags and pack your own groceries! [quote=Tunky;3634922]

That is funny. Some of Chad's family has made the same comments. I have never really noticed it--guess I am used to it and thought it was normal. When his niece comes down she almost hates to eat out because it drives her crazy!! She has finally gotten to the point where she will just relax and realize things move at a little different pace and that is ok.


My advice would be to have a job when you get here and rent an apartment for 6 months to a year so you are not stuck if you don't like the area of town you pick or the whole region in general. That is the beauty part of the interstate. It runs both ways and you can alway go back.

[ariesjow]

I recently moved back to TN after spending four year in MI. So I'll offer my incite as a Southerner turned Midwesterner turned Southerner again. Honestly, I don't think your adjustment from Milwaukee to Nashville will be that extreme. Chicago to Nashville would be a different story. But Nashville and Milwaukee are essentially the same size so you can expect comparable basic amenities presented to you in a different fashion. With that said, there are some important differences to understand that'll make your transition easier.

Aside from the obvious climate and accent differences, you will notice a marked difference in how the cities are structured. Milwaukee is a city with old bones and a gridded core. Nashville is more of your typical Southern boomtown that's grown really large in the last auto-centric half of the 20th century. So expect less craftsman-style bungalows and more McMansions.

Politically, you're going to find Nashville to be middle of the road. While the city itself always leans left, the suburbs generally always lean right. The metro as a whole is a smidge socially conservative but you're going to find all sorts of pockets of progressivism here. Finding your niche won't be hard at all with an open mind and an honest effort. The city seems to be at the point where it realizes catering a bit to everyone is the best way to ensure positive growth.

Next, there's the issue of religion. Many people here are more actively involved with their religious organizations than they are in much of the Midwest. They talk about church. They invite you to church. They go to church throughout the week. However, if that's not your thing, you'll still be perfectly fine here. Heck, I'm agnostic and I work for someone I grew up with in church. When I'm invited to church, I politely say no and go about my business. If someone doesn't like you because of that, then they probably were not worth your time anyway. Besides, there's plenty of other folks here from all places who don't care what you do on Sunday or any other day.

Lastly, there's the issue of pace. Every city in the Southeast is different in this regard and so are the individual areas within Nashville. So, in truth, it really depends on where in the Nashville you live, work and play. If you spend the majority of your time in one of the less populated suburbs, then the pace of day-to-day life will obviously feel slower. If you're in a more popular satelite city, then you can expect things to be retcheted up a notch. It might just shock you how frenetic it can get when you actually live in Nashville. You have to remember that this is a city growing at a considerable pace at the moment with people moving in from all over. The growth is not breakneck speed yet like Vegas, Austin or Charlotte but it's very noticeable all around you. This doesn't even feel like the same city I left for college nine years ago (but in a [i]great[i] way).

In the end, don't trust anyone else's advice as the absolute truth and definitely visit the city if at all possible to try to get a good feel for it. It may ease your leeriness or help you decide that another option may be better suited for you. Good luck!

[artemis]

I am originally from NW Indiana, but spent a lot of years in Northern Illinois. We were about 10 miles off the Wisconsin state line.

I miss the snow at Christmas! But, I do like my winter coat here, its typically a windbreaker. :-)

I have been here 8 years, and nobody has ever brought up religion to me, nor have they invited me to their church.

The lines at the grocery store & Walmart are about the same. Two registers open, and the lines backed up into the aisles.

There are so many people here from other places, I rarely hear a strong Southern accent.

Traffic would be about the same as Milwaukee or Madison.

There isn't that much difference really, so ignore the friends & family who think it's going to be a huge culture shock for you. To me, the biggest thing I noticed is how WARM it is here in the winter. I was used to -60 below wind chills!

There is a lot of Craftsman-styled homes here in the older neighborhoods, most of the suburbs have the mini-mansions.

Are you moving here to retire, or work?

[IngleDave]

If you run over a possum in the road, can you make stew in Wisconsin?

--recipes compliments of Granny Clamplett.

Who needs The Palm, anyway? I think everyone here has offered excellent insight. (except me, of course.)

[Tunky]

of course you can! but there are a lot more tasty critters than possum.

[#Littledog]

Thank you for your observations! We plan on visiting Nashville at least a couple times before we make the move so hopefully that will help us form an opinion. We have 2 young children and we will be looking for new jobs, new schools, etc so I really don't want to move unless we will for sure be staying.

Tunky, do you think your experiences in Nashville will be different than Memphis. Let's hope so! If we moved, we would like to stay close to Nashville city limits so will that feel similar to living in Milwaukee? Yes, we do drink beer (I think it's a Milwaukee rite of passage LOL!) and we play cards. I had no idea playing cards was a sin! But there were a lot of things that surprised me when I lived in Muncie, Indiana for 2 years (which isn't that far south but it felt very different than the midwest). I never knew Catholics weren't considered Christians (that's a whole other discussion) and I was amazed at how many people wanted to "save" me even though I went to church, gave to the poor, volunteered throughout the community, and attended parochial school my whole life (including college). From another thread I started it sounded like some of the differing religious views are more in the rural areas and not as much in Nashville..............I agree with you, too, I don't expect others to change since I am moving into their culture (and beautiful weather). I just want to make sure we're not sad and longing for home once we go through all the efforts to start a new life for ourselves. Do you feel like you'd ever move back to WI? You're right-the people in WI are out of control friendly. So sincere, so genuine they make you feel like you're their best friend right away! Enjoy your Green Bay Packer group!

A couple of other questions I had....why do people say the schools are different in the south compared to the north?? Another thing I'm worried about (please don't laugh) is the southern women seem so pretty, feminine, well-dressed, and perfectly groomed am I going to feel like an ugly duckling??? I take care of myself but I don't spend a lot of time primping and I'm a little bit of a tomboy. Will I feel out of place?? I guess I picture all these blond, tan beauty pageant ladies walking around. If so, I'm sure my husband will love it there! LOL )

[alleycat]

Trust me, there are plenty of people in Nashville who drink beer and play cards.

As for the women . . . if you're going to a luncheon at the Belle Meade Country Club you might have a concern, other than that you have nothing to worry about.

If you do end up moving here and staying for a year, I'm betting you'll then just shake your head in wonder like the rest of us here about the stereotypes people have about Nashville and the south. Some people think we all walk around in cowboy hats singing country songs.

[#Littledog]

Originally Posted by alleycat

Trust me, there are plenty of people in Nashville who drink beer and play cards.

As for the women . . . if you're going to a luncheon at the Belle Meade Country Club you might have a concern, other than that you have nothing to worry about.

If you do end up moving here and staying for a year, I'm betting you'll then just shake your head in wonder like the rest of us here about the stereotypes people have about Nashville and the south. Some people think we all walk around in cowboy hats singing country songs.

So true!!! Just like people think Milwaukee is just like Laverne and Shirley! )

Seriously, I really think we will love Nashville. Our friends and family always plant those seeds of doubt and then I start to second guess! It seems like Nashville has so much variety-there is something for everyone here.