For those who have problems with rural Nebraska (Lincoln, Columbus: rent, houses)

[ComputerUser000]

Originally Posted by Sandhills Guru

What he said....

Thanks

[roots'nbulbs]

So. If I wanted to find out about a llama, in Nebraska, on this thread, the llama would have to have social issues with the state????????? I think I'm on the wrong post board..................ExCuuuse me.

[Sandhills Guru]

Originally Posted by roots'nbulbs

So. If I wanted to find out about a llama, in Nebraska, on this thread, the llama would have to have social issues with the state????????? I think I'm on the wrong post board..................ExCuuuse me.

So sorry if you feel you post about the use of llamas to scare away deer. Never heard of that method and can't locate anything that suggests it might work either.

May I suggest if you have a problem with deer eating your shrubs, take a look at this.

Keeping deer away from your garden.

[SCGranny]

Originally Posted by janzart

However, I think there is a vast personality difference among some communities in Nebraska partially due to job ops and the lay of the land. If you come to the area where I am (central Ne), you will find friends from agri-rural and from the working class and the middle class. And, you know what? I think that's the problem if you follow this thot: Perhaps some of us want to be accepted and understood by all of these and, as is true everywhere, we might not be liked by everyone, here.

Consider though, that one mean person can become a doyenne in these small communities and make it miserable for a young wife who wants to be regarded highly. It's like high school all over again.

I just enjoy rapping about it because I want this to be a very liveable state for anyone who chooses to live here, respectfully.

I think that the problem lies in the thought that everyone has to accept everyone, janzart.

I love - me. Me is my best friend. Me is the most important person to - well, me. I think that I am funny, friendly, fun, warm, and fun to be around. And I don't give a d*** what anyone else thinks! If they like me, hey, GREAT! If they don't - that's OK, too. I don't need anyone else's affirmation to be who and what I am. If someone thinks that they are better than me, fine. If someone doesn't like me and tries to spread lies or cause trouble for me - well, bluntly, they don't pay my bills and they don't live in my house and I don't have to put up with them, so it makes no difference to me what their problems are! (Incidentally, I have found that people who go their own ways are often resented and ridiculed - but if that affects the individual, then the masses have WON. Why would you let them win?) I have found that a simple shrug of the shoulders, pure and blunt honesty, and a hearty laugh at behind-the-hand nastiness, usually discomfits most people who try to be sneaky, vicious or cruel. Some folks will love you. Some folks will hate you. Some folks won't have the time or patience for you. That is their problem, not yours. No one is ever wholly loved or hated by all. No matter what the politically correct preach, the fact is that no one loves everyone - and no one is loved by everyone.

Like our parents always said - the same as in high school - if you LET other people get to you, it is your own fault. Don't react the way you did in high school, refuse to play the nastiness or meanness game, refuse to allow others to set the parameters of your own life. If you worry about what other people think of you, do to you, or say about you, you permit them to restrict you and to define you. Why would you want to do that?

No one defines me -but me. No one directs my life -but me. No one is responsible for my happiness or my sorrow or my pain -but me. (This is why I love me!) To depend on others for self-gratification is a waste of energy. Those who move anywhere expecting others to care for them - physically, emotionally, morally, even psychically - are going to be disappointed endlessly. Why would anyone want to do that to themselves?

[Dave1215]

Originally Posted by SCGranny

I think that the problem lies in the thought that everyone has to accept everyone, janzart.

I love - me. Me is my best friend. Me is the most important person to - well, me. I think that I am funny, friendly, fun, warm, and fun to be around. And I don't give a d*** what anyone else thinks! If they like me, hey, GREAT! If they don't - that's OK, too. I don't need anyone else's affirmation to be who and what I am. If someone thinks that they are better than me, fine. If someone doesn't like me and tries to spread lies or cause trouble for me - well, bluntly, they don't pay my bills and they don't live in my house and I don't have to put up with them, so it makes no difference to me what their problems are! (Incidentally, I have found that people who go their own ways are often resented and ridiculed - but if that affects the individual, then the masses have WON. Why would you let them win?) I have found that a simple shrug of the shoulders, pure and blunt honesty, and a hearty laugh at behind-the-hand nastiness, usually discomfits most people who try to be sneaky, vicious or cruel. Some folks will love you. Some folks will hate you. Some folks won't have the time or patience for you. That is their problem, not yours. No one is ever wholly loved or hated by all. No matter what the politically correct preach, the fact is that no one loves everyone - and no one is loved by everyone.

Like our parents always said - the same as in high school - if you LET other people get to you, it is your own fault. Don't react the way you did in high school, refuse to play the nastiness or meanness game, refuse to allow others to set the parameters of your own life. If you worry about what other people think of you, do to you, or say about you, you permit them to restrict you and to define you. Why would you want to do that?

No one defines me -but me. No one directs my life -but me. No one is responsible for my happiness or my sorrow or my pain -but me. (This is why I love me!) To depend on others for self-gratification is a waste of energy. Those who move anywhere expecting others to care for them - physically, emotionally, morally, even psychically - are going to be disappointed endlessly. Why would anyone want to do that to themselves?

You ever thought of writing a book? Just go through all of your posts, make each one a small chapter... 30 chapters later you are done... "The Random CD Thoughts of SCGranny"... take your various CD pictures and use them as the illustrations... a best seller in the works!

[greencat2]

The difference may have been money SCGranny. You used a real estate agent and we moved here with very little to take a job with some friends I met while in Vermillion. There are no daycare centers here for the illegimate children of high schoolers as they are forced out of school. Two girls I know here were forced out by the school one for being pregnant and married before graduation the other for being pregnant!! The mom of the second had to sign up her daughter up with the same accredited distance school I use for my daughter's homeschool. As for drugs in the school while juvenile records are sealed I do personally know several kids who have been caught with them in their lockers. Is it any worse than than a city or another town? Probably not the difference is how it is handled. If you have family here it is a slap on the wrist, if not you're toast.
The same boy I wrote about in my first post (youth minister's son) has since crashed the same lawn mower he uses as a car into my daughter's ten-speed bicycle and left the scene of the accident. We reported it to the police who again did not so much as issue a ticket to him. This is after several warnings by them not to ride it in town unless he is actually going to mow a lawn. His foster-father the youth minister did fix the bike (he works at the bike shop in town). It needed a new rim for the back tire as it was mangled and the back gear wheel also needed replaced. This same boy cruised our house on the mower six times yesterday as he knows nothing will be done. His foster father is nice but what happened to being responsible for your kids? When I lived in other places big and small one warning was all it took. You controlled your kids or the police would assist you in a way you wouldn't like.
I am doing well in my on-line school and look forward to moving to a new career. Why not look here? The reason is simply there are no jobs in the field I am studying in this area. SCGranny, if you missed the soap opera that serves as Valentine entertainment count yourself as one of the very lucky ones to get out unscathed.

[Sandhills Guru]

I seem to know quite a few citizens of Valentine who have also have been so lucky as you put it to have missed the Valentine Soap Opera.

[SCGranny]

No, I don't think that the difference is in money. I used an RE agent because - um, I had to find the property I wanted 1700 miles from where I was living, and the agent happened to own the property that was posted on landsofamerica.com. I chose where to live - not based on friends or other peoples' advice, but on where I was able to live, afford to live, and able to at last do the things I had always wanted to do. I also chose with whom I would associate. I could easily hang out at the bars, spend my money at the casino, lie down with dogs and pick up fleas, but I choose not to. I choose to stay on my property for the most part; I have a lot of fixing up to do and a lot of plans for my future that quite frankly don't depend on any one else's kindnesses or cruelties.

As for money - well, no not much! DH is crippled, retired, and cannot do the job he did for 27 years, so we had to find a place where he could live and do other things than fight fires and ride ambulances. Did we work our wazoos off and save and plan and live far below our means to get to where we wanted to be? Yes. Did/do we have a lot of disposable income? No. At the old place as well as here, we planned for our future and what we wanted, and didn't let anyone else get in the way or influence us. We didn't buy a pig in a poke or leap at the first place we were told was nice.

When we came here, we had no friends or family here - everyone was friendly to us and we made friends from the ground up; with people who thought the same way that we did - hard work, honesty, and integrity were the only way to live. We didn't make friends with people whom we could use or who thought they could use us. Am I glad that teens who irresponsibly get pregnant are not allowed to stay in school and pretend that they are still children? Yes, absolutely. Am I particular about who I am friends with? Yes. Very. Do I know that some kids use drugs or alcohol? Of course, I am not Pollyanna. But I neither depend on them for my succor nor contribute to their problem, so they are not a part of my life. If that seems hard and cruel, bluntly, so is life; and those who are not aware that life is being responsible and taking responsibility for one's own choices, then I simply do not care to associate with them.

It is a point of pride with me (and my children) that what we get only we pay for; that who we are is what we say we are, and that we are no better and no worse than anyone. Are there some people who get unfair breaks in life? Yes. Are there some people who are not made to take responsibility for their actions? Yes. Should those people be brought to task - legally if necessary? Yes, of course. I can read the police blotter and I know that there are some kids who pay more than others - that's the way of the world, and complaining about it will make no difference. But if you have a voice and a reasonable attitude, you can make changes over time - if you choose to. That's what the legal system and the political systems are for. There is always a higher authority if you choose to use it. But complaining about it won't make changes. Like the old saying goes - put up or shut up - either stand for what is right and what you believe in, or don't complain when things don't go your way.

That's my belief, and it is not a criticism of any one person - the 'you' is a general 'you' not a specific one. People choose, and shouldn't blame others for their choices. It doesn't matter if others lied, cheated, etc - people choose to be a victim as well as choose to NOT be one.

[janzart]

Regarding my statement about experiencing 'high school' jockeying among young women, in small towns, let me clarify that I, personally, am not a young wife looking for a rung on the ladder. I'm in my seventies-- well beyond needing that kind of support. I meant that I sympathized with young wives who are struggling with kids, a wiley husband, yeh--and limited income.

Then, you move to little community and in walks a popular gal who weasles out of you a faux pas and says, "Oh reeaally." We're just not all in the same situation and that behavior has created many a lonely day for many insecure girls. I, personally, would find it humorous or it might make me mad. But, I do feel sorry for these young gals who are trying to make a life for themselves.

My original point was, 'are people, in rural NE, less open to new people and perspectives that come from the coasts or from urban living?' Or, are there getting to be more and more people like SCGranny, (God love her. I know I do.), who works and plays for the love of work and play, and laissez faire, to a woman who just wants to look good, now and then.

I think you're great, SCGranny, and your writings are worth $$$ to a shrink. I never want you to quit thinking what you think. I wish I was more like that, myself. Know better, but waver now and then. I got PUT out here, as you are, a long way from my home , on the West coast. I think the land, here, is spacious and beautiful--harsh and lonely, but beauty in its own way. And, I don't mind hard work. I have had a hard time with the politics of the region and it bothers me that the natives very often are the most critical of the flat grassland. In fact, that probably bugs me more than misguided statements about my multicultural friends.

I have to drive quite a ways for company, so it's important to me that I get along when I get there. Kind of like going to the refrigerator for food when you're hungry--not always a lot to pick from, so I hope it's edible.

[aerahrtlu]

Originally Posted by Dave1215

You ever thought of writing a book? Just go through all of your posts, make each one a small chapter... 30 chapters later you are done... "The Random CD Thoughts of SCGranny"... take your various CD pictures and use them as the illustrations... a best seller in the works!

I have to agree with Dave1215 on one this one SCGranny. You should! I tried to rep you, but it wouldn't let me.

I wish the parents I know would have raised the kids I know to work hard. Alot of the people I know expect things to be given to them. When they aren't given, they take, rudely.

Like my husband and I bought dinner for a married couple who are our friends. They didn't thank us ONCE. Even though they know we are short on cash, just scrapping by, they just took it like we should feel it's an honor to serve them. Never again will I buy them dinner. Of course, I said that the last time they did that and I did it again. But, I find it rude to eat in front of others when they don't have food. That's how my parents raised me. Though, everyone I met seems to have no problem with it.