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Old 12-03-2014, 02:22 PM
 
31 posts, read 40,054 times
Reputation: 35

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So I am an immigrant (living in states for about 6 years) still have to assimilate . Let's be honest. I really want to assimilate into the american culture and not stuck inside my tiny minority community. I have never tried to assimilate to the culture here. Not that I don't like it. But, I have faced some hostilities . Personally, I don't like the bars and clubs so don't hang out there. My hobbies are Playing Guitar, Swimming and working out. Being an immigrant will have some problems. I accept that things are going to be hard for me.
I am scared to meet and talk to the Americans because of my skin color(honestly) . I am dark skinned and scared to mix with White People here. I have friends from all over places including Africa, Europe ,south America mostly as they are immigrants like me. If I try to mix with white people here(which I want) ,how do I do that? I feel that I will not be accepted as I am not from here. I talk with people here at my job and they don't seem nice. I do accept people in Omaha are very soft spoken and very nice. I don't want to invite racism here but I just want to make friends with Americans .Possible?
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Old 12-03-2014, 07:39 PM
 
318 posts, read 513,549 times
Reputation: 661
Quote:
Originally Posted by OmahaGuy2010 View Post
So I am an immigrant (living in states for about 6 years) still have to assimilate . Let's be honest. I really want to assimilate into the american culture and not stuck inside my tiny minority community. I have never tried to assimilate to the culture here. Not that I don't like it. But, I have faced some hostilities . Personally, I don't like the bars and clubs so don't hang out there. My hobbies are Playing Guitar, Swimming and working out. Being an immigrant will have some problems. I accept that things are going to be hard for me.
I am scared to meet and talk to the Americans because of my skin color(honestly) . I am dark skinned and scared to mix with White People here. I have friends from all over places including Africa, Europe ,south America mostly as they are immigrants like me. If I try to mix with white people here(which I want) ,how do I do that? I feel that I will not be accepted as I am not from here. I talk with people here at my job and they don't seem nice. I do accept people in Omaha are very soft spoken and very nice. I don't want to invite racism here but I just want to make friends with Americans .Possible?
Hell, I'm a genuine 1953 born-in-the-USA "white" model & have yet to be assimilated myself into this culture.

So you want a wee bit of advice mixing with white folks, do you? Here it is: just be yourself. .: ) .That, & keep in mind that your happiness does not depend on what others think about you, even if you feel it does.

Welcome to the USA, albeit my welcoming is 6 years late. Hope you keep doing well.

.
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Old 12-03-2014, 09:11 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
2,234 posts, read 3,296,514 times
Reputation: 6681
I'm native Nebraskin and white. By the tone of your post you sound more worried then you should be. I'm not sure what the culture here is? If you are honest with people, that's all that's necessary. I blame the media for hyping the racial angles and then making people think that race is a big issue. At least from my view point race is not a big issue in Nebraska.
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Old 12-05-2014, 04:15 AM
 
Location: Lincoln, NE
84 posts, read 137,980 times
Reputation: 232
Quote:
Originally Posted by OmahaGuy2010 View Post
I am scared to meet and talk to the Americans
Do you watch any college football or the NFL? If you want to talk to other guys, football is generally a good conversation starter (during the football season). Sports in general is good for small talk with other men.

Quote:
Originally Posted by OmahaGuy2010 View Post
I talk with people here at my job and they don't seem nice.
Hmm, I've talked to tons of immigrants at work and I'm one of the whitest people in town. Granted, they were mostly college aged girls.
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Old 12-08-2014, 11:19 AM
 
Location: ND
47 posts, read 89,165 times
Reputation: 83
Easy.. Find common ground with someone and start chatting.. Example, I am in aviation, involved somewhat with instructing on a international basis and never have probs striking up conversations and making new friends with folks from all over the world.. Skin color and or ethnicity has never been an issue, (in fact, emailed a friend from Turkey this morning), the friendship/discussion centered around airplanes.. Or books, or fishing or sports or cars or weather..... Lol, worked with some guys from Sudan and Cote d' Ivoire this yr and these guys were focused on getting american shoes, I asked them where their hotel was and told them there was 5 shoes stores within 5 blocks. They loved it and are professional friends to this day..

If you dont have a language barrier, you wont have a prob striking up a conversation.. I will go out on a limb and suggest that personal hygiene can be a barrier.... If you haven't showered, obviously don't use deodorant, don't brush your teeth, and are wearing dirty clothes..... I will avoid you, regardless of color or how much money you got. Yes, it is a cultural thing, but in the upper midwest, hygiene is a factor..

But one thing to avoid and this is my personal practice............. Never discuss politics or religion or sexual orientation with anyone you dont really know until you know them real well... With true friendships worth having, these subjects dont matter anyway.

I am as white bread as you can get, but even when I have been the extreme minority, I have never had an issue making conversation & friends all over the world. Just find a common subject and start "swapping lies".

Rod
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Old 12-09-2014, 09:37 PM
 
4 posts, read 7,108 times
Reputation: 28
Hi, Just had to comment.
I've lived in many states (8 states... so far) , medium sized towns as well as Boston, NYC metro areas and in China. My strategy for assimilating into each culture was joining a Toastmasters International club. They are everywhere! Just Google "Toastmasters clubs" with the name of your city, and you can research the options.

My strategy has been to visit a club 2-3 times and listen to the impromptu speakers and well as the prepared speeches. Most will talk about their interests outside of their jobs. These talks help give you an idea of the community and individuals. Visit several clubs. Try not make a commitment to one until you have visited at least 2 clubs. The people in these clubs are usually very open and welcoming.

Participants are individuals that want to learn how to be more effective communicators or make better presentations for their job or just to fit into the area, often find interesting and very supportive folks at these clubs.
The clubs are usually comprised of professionals of all types as well as local business and community people. Not all clubs are "open to all". Some are for only the corporation that is sponsoring the club.

Nodak7mm also noted that one does not discuss sex, religion or politics. Also money is a shaky subject area. My Asian colleagues and friends often learn this the hard way.

The next piece of advice is to listen at least 2x as much as you talk. Transitional statements like. "Wow, That's interesting" "That must have been fun/scary/ a challenge/ hard work?" , "Tell me about that", etcetera, act to encourage the other person to talk about insights and knowledge without you asking too may questions.

The more the other person talks, the more you learn what to say and "not" to say. and your learn about the area.

I've had people comment on what a great conversationalist that I was when in reality, I just asked them to expand on other comments or their opinion on best restaurants, gyms, trails, sports...then kept my opinions to myself. I have found great restaurants, entertainment options and community events this way.

Google "Toastmasters - Omaha".. You will learn a lot about strategies for assimilating into American culture there.
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Old 12-09-2014, 09:47 PM
 
4 posts, read 7,108 times
Reputation: 28
By the Way:
Welcome to Nebraska. I'm new here, yet knew many people from Nebraska. Lawyers, medical, theater, and engineers before I came. Each friendly in their own way.
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Old 12-09-2014, 09:59 PM
 
2,068 posts, read 987,629 times
Reputation: 3641
Quote:
Originally Posted by OmahaGuy2010 View Post
If I try to mix with white people here(which I want) ,how do I do that?
Stop seeing them as "white".
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Old 12-12-2014, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
4,531 posts, read 8,817,193 times
Reputation: 7592
Quote:
Originally Posted by OmahaGuy2010 View Post
So I am an immigrant (living in states for about 6 years) still have to assimilate . Let's be honest. I really want to assimilate into the american culture and not stuck inside my tiny minority community. I have never tried to assimilate to the culture here. Not that I don't like it. But, I have faced some hostilities . Personally, I don't like the bars and clubs so don't hang out there. My hobbies are Playing Guitar, Swimming and working out. Being an immigrant will have some problems. I accept that things are going to be hard for me.
I am scared to meet and talk to the Americans because of my skin color(honestly) . I am dark skinned and scared to mix with White People here. I have friends from all over places including Africa, Europe ,south America mostly as they are immigrants like me. If I try to mix with white people here(which I want) ,how do I do that? I feel that I will not be accepted as I am not from here. I talk with people here at my job and they don't seem nice. I do accept people in Omaha are very soft spoken and very nice. I don't want to invite racism here but I just want to make friends with Americans .Possible?
You can play a guitar right? Do you know how many of us White guys that are also Country music fans wish we could do that? Go to a local library and check out a few dozen songs on sheet music and practice them at home and commit them to memory. Music is the Universal language. Take advantage of it.

What kind of work do you do? Does your job expose you to new people and ideas? Your job can either offer you new opportunities or tie you down BUT you are the one that makes the decision which.

Read everything; novels, non-fiction, cartoons, travel books, cooking or any of several thousand different activities and interests. Read about them and then find groups of people actually doing them and spend time with them.

Never be afraid to ask people about their interests. Especially if it is something you think you would enjoy. pack up that guitar and either walk or grab a bus and I will guarantee you someone will ask you what type of music you play. Go from there.
Good Luck,
Gunluvver2
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Old 12-23-2014, 04:16 PM
 
634 posts, read 773,246 times
Reputation: 1096
Speaking English helps. Other wise, smile and strike up a conversation. Common interests,clubs and activitys.
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