child safety? (York: apartment, renting, homes) - Nebraska (NE) - City-Data Forum

Hoosier · 02-04-2007, 07:38 PM

I want to pose a question and get any feedback. I have two friends who live in Nebraska. They have a very dysfunctional relationship. They're divorced, living together with their three year old and he's still paying her child support because it's too time consuming and difficult to stop, and she'll be moving out soon anyway. Okay, that's not the question.

They have a three year old son who I am very concerned about. The mother has met three to four men (that I know of) on the internet and had relationships with them. These men have lived with her, or she has been over at their house/apartment regularly...with the little boy. Or she leaves the little boy with her ex-husband (who mind you is fully aware of everything and has met all of these guys). I have talked to the ex about getting custody of his son but he doesn't want to. And until today I was surprised that he didn't want custody. Today he tells me that he allows his three year old to go outside with mittens that aren't warm enough for below zero temps! Okay, these people have been my friends on and off for close to 15 years. I've never met the son, however, as a dad with two young kids under the age of 8 I'm disgusted by their parenting. She's sleeping around and he just doesn't care. I'm only posing this question to this forum since they live in Nebraska and wanted to get your feedback on what is allowable in NE and if I should even say anything.

lookingfortheperfectplace · 02-05-2007, 03:44 AM

It doesn't matter what state you live in. Child neglect and endangerment is cruel anywhere. I would contact DCF or whatever child protecting agencies you have there(I think you can do it anonymously). You probably will need proof to have the child taken away but maybe just a visit from a social worker will knock some sense into their small brains. That child deserves better parents.

Yorkie_Mom · 02-05-2007, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lookingfortheperfectplace

It doesn't matter what state you live in. Child neglect and endangerment is cruel anywhere. I would contact DCF or whatever child protecting agencies you have there(I think you can do it anonymously). You probably will need proof to have the child taken away but maybe just a visit from a social worker will knock some sense into their small brains. That child deserves better parents.

No child should have to live that way in this day and age.
If you want to be a friend, turn them in, do it for the child. It sounds like the child needs some stability in his life, I don't know how old the child is, their maybe damage already done, but with proper help, love, and a stable life he has a good chance to make it. So be a better friend to the child and turn the parents in, if DHS don't find anything wrong well then you can feel good about yourself for trying. Just my opinion, good luck and keep us informed, I would like to know if the child will be alright. I worry about all children in bad homes, if I had the money I would take them all in, under my wings.

Hoosier · 02-05-2007, 11:43 AM

Thanks for the input! The little boy is 3 1/2 years old. I keep in touch with these friends through frequent phone calls and talk to both of them so know that there is a lot up. I have no physical proof that anything is going on, just what I've heard them say to me. Guess I'll look on the web for a phone number of who to call. It really isn't a tough decision as I have a four year old son and seven year old daughter and was a stay-at-home dad for three and a half years. Thanks again and I will surely keep you updated.

Mommy2two · 02-06-2007, 06:09 PM

Hoosier67,
Props to you for being a stay-at-home dayd for three and a half years. As the way you sound (write) you seem like the type who was an active parent not just some babysitter until your wife got home. I get sick of people who brag that they are a stay at home parent (usually moms). I want to ask what kind of a curriculum they have them on. Our kids need teachers, parents who read to them and show them how things work-all the time! We don't watch t.v. and always try to make everything a learning lesson-always fun! It breaks my heart when I hear about parents who are not being active parents or who are neglectful. It is a shame that the father is somewhat of an escapist/passivist and the mom's escape is her sex addiction. Do what you think is right. Just remember, a lot of children are neglected and physically and/or sexually abused in foster care situations. Unfortunately, they may stay in foster care, even though an aunt or grandparents, etc. is begging the court to come let them live with them. I hope you find the answers. If you still want to contact authorities, or someone who can help, I will try to keep checking back and can get you phone numbers, if needed.

kosnebbear · 02-07-2007, 08:37 AM

Hoosier67, I am a retired police officer from Nebraska and if you suspect that something is going on you need to contact the police in the area. They will or should do a wellness check on the little boy. When they do they will then keep a watch and if they see something they will act and get the Child Protective Service into the mix as well. I have taken out a few kids from bad homes and put parents in jail and long prison terms for endangering children. It just takes someone like you to get the ball rolling along and you will need to give it a little time, unless on the first visit they find something, for action to take place.

Yorkie_Mom · 02-07-2007, 09:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kosnebbear

Hoosier67, I am a retired police officer from Nebraska and if you suspect that something is going on you need to contact the police in the area. They will or should do a wellness check on the little boy. When they do they will then keep a watch and if they see something they will act and get the Child Protective Service into the mix as well. I have taken out a few kids from bad homes and put parents in jail and long prison terms for endangering children. It just takes someone like you to get the ball rolling along and you will need to give it a little time, unless on the first visit they find something, for action to take place.

I really want to thank angels like you, that help watch over our children, and to make sure that they are safe.
You have a very tough job, and I am sure that when you see such cases like these it must break your heart. If it wasn't for your services, these children would never have a good chance at life. My heart goes out to you for a job well done. Many thanks, from over here in Minnesota!!!!!!!!!!

kosnebbear · 02-07-2007, 02:33 PM

Yorkie_Mom and Hoosier67, if you only knew how I feel when I see it. There are times when I hope that one of them would put up a fight with me so that I could put a real big hurt on them for what they did. But none have, because they are the worse kind of people that can only control are the children. The last one that I put away he appealed it to the State Surpreme Court because he thought that 16 years in prison without possible parole was to hard. The Judge who denied his appeal said that what he did that he would have given him more than the 16 years.

Hoosier67, I replied to you private e-mail and I hope that you get it if not contact me using my personal e-mail address of kosnebbear@yahoo.com. I will hope and pray that help can be gotten for the individual you told me about.

Hoosier · 02-08-2007, 07:27 AM

Thank you to all who have helped me in this decision. I am going to talk to my friends this weekend and try and get as much additional information as I can before talking to the authorities. I have decided to definitely do it. As a dad it breaks my heart to see this happening to a little boy who has no control. One of my greatest concerns is his mom's temper. I've known her for many, many years and she has a violent temper, which I have had the unfortunate opportunity of experiencing. I will definitely keep you all posted. Please feel free to check in with me too at my personal email
prwilson9903@gmail.com

Yorkie_Mom · 02-08-2007, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hoosier67

Thank you to all who have helped me in this decision. I am going to talk to my friends this weekend and try and get as much additional information as I can before talking to the authorities. I have decided to definitely do it. As a dad it breaks my heart to see this happening to a little boy who has no control. One of my greatest concerns is his mom's temper. I've known her for many, many years and she has a violent temper, which I have had the unfortunate opportunity of experiencing. I will definitely keep you all posted. Please feel free to check in with me too at my personal email
prwilson9903@gmail.com

I am glad you are thinking of the child, and if the mom has such a bad temper, it wouldn't hurt her to get some help with that also, it might be that she needs to be put on meds to control her temper also.
It is so sad to hear about cases like this going on, I was abused almost everyday growing up, and they never had people who cared like they do today, and maybe that is why it hits me so hard, when I hear the abuse still going on in todays life.
I thank anyone that goes above themselves to help protect a child, to me you are all angels, and I must of had one myself in order to get past my childhood. Keep me posted, and thank you for making the right decision.