Septic tanks and sex (renter, condo, home)

[Gunluvver2]

During most of the 1970's and 1980's I was an over the road truck driver. In the early 1980's I found a rural acreage with an older home that I decided to buy. Since I wasn't home often enough to take care of it I decided to rent it out.

A young married couple were the first ones to answer my ad so I rented to them. I had left them instructions to call a friend of mine who was a licensed electrician and plumber in case there were any problems. My renters mailed their rent check each month to my CPA and for four years the check was there two or three days before it was due, just like clockwork.

So when I got a message from my dispatcher that I needed to call my CPA I was a little curious about what the problem was. I called the CPA and he told me my rent would be late because my renter was in jail for beating the hell out of his wife. I couldn't understand what the problem was because they always seemed to get along great and Keith sure didn't seem like the kind of guy to beat his wife.


My CPA also told me he had paid my plumber for some work to the septic tank . So I call my friend (Ralph) the plumber to ask what the problem was with my septic tank. He immediately starts laughing. When he stops I ask him what was so funny. He told me my renter had called complaining that the drains were draining slow and sometimes backing up. He took the honey wagon out to pump out the septic tank. Voila. . . the problem was obvious. Several hundred condoms had evidently been flushed down the commode and they had plugged the system up. As he was cleaning up and getting ready to leave he told Keith that in the future it would be a good idea not to flush his condoms down the toilet but to find another way of disposing of them. Ralph said Keith immediately turned a bright red and said " I don't use condoms". Ralph said he just turned around and walked to this truck and took off. The next day he heard that Keith was in
jail for beating his wife. I guess the wife refused to press charges against
him because they were back together a few weeks later. They did move out shortly after that though.

I always wondered which one of my neighbors it was that was being neighborly though.

[southernnaturelover]

Several hundred? Whatever she was gettin' must have been good.

[soundforlanguage81]

"Septic tanks & sex" could simultaneously be the title of a Bukowski novel and/or a Larry the cable guy album....

[Omaha Rocks]

Good lord...


On the other hand, great thread title. No doubt it has everybody - including me - curious!

[vpandora]

The title certainly got my attention!

This happened to my fiance when he was a teenager. (Not several hundred... though I didn't bother to ask...)

One way or another, mom and dad will find out what you are up to!

[midwesterner guy]

Best thread ever. Ha!

[GraniteStater]

This thread is NOT relevant to the state of Nebraska and is now closed.