Recent Transplant to Nebraska (Omaha, Grant: real estate, mobile home, buying)

[OneWayOnlyJesus]

Boy, talk about a change. Well, not really as much as I thought it would be.

The town I chose to move to in 2007 was definitely a mistake. I am a single-parent who moved from California to a town I thought would show a lovely Christian-conservative, Nebraskan (polite, congenial, polite, with a chivalrous spirit). We were thoroughly looking forward to it, mostly based on a "friend's" personal input at the time (this is the town the "friend" was born and raised in). Turns out the "friend" was just like the town, very unfriendly and unhelpful. I should not be surprised but we were and still are.

Example: We ("friend" and my daughter) go to an auction to buy a few things needed and we're standing on the lawn of the house the auction is being held at, near the street curb. An elderly woman (had to be in her 80's) tapped my 6' friend on the shoulder and asked if the "friend" would be so kind as to help lift this item (behind us on the curb) into the back of the pickup that was right there. Our "friend" turned to us and said, DO I HAVE SLAVE STAMPED ON MY FOREHEAD? We were stunned and it really unsettled and saddened us to see this "friend's" true nature come out more and more. After the "friend's" rudeness behind the elderly woman's back, the "friend" turned and helped the elderly woman (very easily I might add).

Now, you might think that was a silly thing to get upset about, but there were many, many more examples than this seemingly small one. (To resent helping the elderly is not really a small thing to me though.) This behavior continued and got worse, to the point I had to end the "friendship" because it was clear my "friend" was no true friend to anyone, let alone us. I guess as long as I continued buying my "friend" prime rib dinners, etc. the "friend" would have stuck around, but it was eye-opening to see that I guess people everywhere are turning from good, old-fashioned values to shameless behavior, which should not be tolerated.

Now we're here in this rude town (like I said, the "friend" is much like the town), and not a "friend" to be found. Only nosy, gossipy people who want a new story to chew on and pass around to all their friends. To my knowledge, I haven't met an authentic nice person yet (except in the rest home we visit to say hi to the elderly sitting there getting no visits from anyone in this town), just a lot of mean-spirited attitudes.

Anyway, this town could use an old-fashioned revival on how to treat "outsiders", and I have been praying God will awaken their consciences. Now THAT would be a miracle I would like to see! (Not everyone is fortunate to be born and raised in the same atmosphere, which is helpful for living more of a stress-free life.)

Ok, I got a little rough with this critique, but I moved all the way here from California looking for something authentically Christian and found just more of the same old fare (if watered down).

[dsrich98]

Originally Posted by OneWayOnlyJesus

Boy, talk about a change. Well, not really as much as I thought it would be.

The town I chose to move to in 2007 was definitely a mistake. I am a single-parent who moved from California to a town I thought would show a lovely Christian-conservative, Nebraskan (polite, congenial, polite, with a chivalrous spirit). We were thoroughly looking forward to it, mostly based on a "friend's" personal input at the time (this is the town the "friend" was born and raised in). Turns out the "friend" was just like the town, very unfriendly and unhelpful. I should not be surprised but we were and still are.

Example: We ("friend" and my daughter) go to an auction to buy a few things needed and we're standing on the lawn of the house the auction is being held at, near the street curb. An elderly woman (had to be in her 80's) tapped my 6' friend on the shoulder and asked if the "friend" would be so kind as to help lift this item (behind us on the curb) into the back of the pickup that was right there. Our "friend" turned to us and said, DO I HAVE SLAVE STAMPED ON MY FOREHEAD? We were stunned and it really unsettled and saddened us to see this "friend's" true nature come out more and more. After the "friend's" rudeness behind the elderly woman's back, the "friend" turned and helped the elderly woman (very easily I might add).

Now, you might think that was a silly thing to get upset about, but there were many, many more examples than this seemingly small one. (To resent helping the elderly is not really a small thing to me though.) This behavior continued and got worse, to the point I had to end the "friendship" because it was clear my "friend" was no true friend to anyone, let alone us. I guess as long as I continued buying my "friend" prime rib dinners, etc. the "friend" would have stuck around, but it was eye-opening to see that I guess people everywhere are turning from good, old-fashioned values to shameless behavior, which should not be tolerated.

Now we're here in this rude town (like I said, the "friend" is much like the town), and not a "friend" to be found. Only nosy, gossipy people who want a new story to chew on and pass around to all their friends. To my knowledge, I haven't met an authentic nice person yet (except in the rest home we visit to say hi to the elderly sitting there getting no visits from anyone in this town), just a lot of mean-spirited attitudes.

Anyway, this town could use an old-fashioned revival on how to treat "outsiders", and I have been praying God will awaken their consciences. Now THAT would be a miracle I would like to see! (Not everyone is fortunate to be born and raised in the same atmosphere, which is helpful for living more of a stress-free life.)

Ok, I got a little rough with this critique, but I moved all the way here from California looking for something authentically Christian and found just more of the same old fare (if watered down).

Sadly this happens in some small towns. Not much going on but get into other people's business. Yet they still act all protective and guarded about new poeple coming in. If you don't mind me asking what part of the state are you in? I hope things get a little better for you.

[roots'nbulbs]

I am so sorry that you have had this experience. You would not have been the first person, from the West or East coasts to whom I would have said, "Not so fast...," when advised to move to small town NE for the idyllic county fair friendliness. It just isn't universal, out here, and I doubt that it ever was.

That's not what we're about. The economy doesn't support smaller farm operations, very well. Therefore, you do not have Grant Wood's American Gothic couple with a cooling watermelon in the cistern and peach pie for the traveler. We are just way too busy, surviving. That leaves a level of the population with some off time, but not enough money or education to create a cosmopolitan life for themselves. That's when it gets sticky--and, some will judge others based on their own limited experiences and many were NOT 'brought up' to know that empathy is 'cool'--cooler than stating, "Do I have slave stamped...." and laughing at the plight of an elderly woman.

When you go away, as you probably will, please know that this happens everywhere and that many more of us are so sorry.

When I (as an adult) moved back out here, I thought the same as you. But, I found that, in a restaurant, I could hand my purse to a stranger, to hold, while I went to the bathroom, and be relatively assured that I would get it back, money intact. I found that the landscape is very, very pretty with minimum cement and trash. I found that the friends that I did make are extraordinary friends and others were there for me when the 'chips were down.' And, my work has been challenging and intriguing.

It has all given me the ability to raise my own family, well, and to go out and come back in with a richness of spirit in spite of rude people that just have to be everywhere.

[DTO Luv]

You sound very ignorrant and arrogant to move somewhere and expecting everyone to confirm to a stereotype you had in your head. It sounds like you're reaping what you've sown.

[Omaha Rocks]

You need to move.

Sorry to sound curt and blunt, but there's no two ways about it.

You're not going to change the tone & mentality of that town - especially if the guy you went there for is not a good guy.

[OneWayOnlyJesus]

To clarify, I didn't come here for a man. Nice try. I'll stick to praying and asking for God's intervention because this situation is about hearts needing to be changed in the people of this community (and all over I guess). FYI, I knew this "friend" for 2 years prior to making the decision to move here. I knew I was moving, just not where. This person and I talked every single day for 2 years and most conversations were at least 2 hours long, (and I wasn't the one doing most of the talking), where I was told the things happening in that place would never happen here because it wouldn't be allowed. That was very nice to hear and I believe most of that is true, but seems to be changing (ex: a lot of my daughter's school mates said they'd vote Obama if they could vote).

Where I was at in California was gang-ridden, so not the best to be sure. But in 2007 real estate was still very, very high, so difficult to move because the most base places were expensive (a used mobile home in a nice park could be near $100k). It just wasn't worth it. We also experienced things like shoot outs (yes, involved actual deaths) in the area, which isn't totally uncommon in a lot of places in California.

Here I have not experienced any home invasion robberies, police helicopters flying over, car jackings, graffiti everywhere, prostitution hang-outs nearby, drive-by shootings, drug and gang killings where innocent bystanders get shot because they're such bad shots, etc., but you might want to walk a mile in someone's shoes before judging the issue of our moving DTO. I suspect you would run for cover and scream like a little girl if you found yourself in some of the positions we were in. Only God preserved us!

However, my not knowing anyone here very well doesn't justify unbelievably rude behaviors here in this small Nebraska town... period, which was my point. It is very disheartening to know that there probably aren't many truly friendly, loving communities around anymore - unless you wish to become Amish, which I don't. And I admit I am being a bit harsh, but there it is. I am disallusioned, but not down and follow the biblical solution to any problem, which is to trust God and not man.

[DTO Luv]

Originally Posted by OneWayOnlyJesus

but you might want to walk a mile in someone's shoes before judging the issue of our moving DTO. I suspect you would run for cover and scream like a little girl if you found yourself in some of the positions we were in. Only God preserved us!

Doesn't sound like you've been through anymore than I have at points in my life.

You're coming off as very judgemental and small minded. You said you moved here expecting some sort of moral or religious superiority. Based on what? Just because it's a small, rural town everyone is religious and well to do? You have no one to blame your decision on but yourself. Also it sounds like you might not be the open, honest person you claim to be. If you're on here talking bad about the morals of the whole town you live in what kind of person are you like getting along with in real life? You prejudged a whole community and were wrong about it. Oh well. Life goes on. I think it's absurd to think that anyplace is sacred because of some divine intervention. Good and bad things happen to everyone regardless of their beliefs.

[Omaha Rocks]

I as not trying to insinuate that you moved there for a boyfriend. But from what you described, it kind of sounded like that was the case.

Now... I grew up on a farm outside a small town (not in Nebraska). I know what I'm talking about when I say that the tone and attitude of the townspeople is not going to change. Also, most small town people are rather reluctant to embrace newcomers. I don't know why, but it's true.

I do not know anything about where you are financially. But if you were able to move, you might want to consider Omaha. Housing here is FAR cheaper than in California, it's a nice city, and you won't have all these people wondering, "Who's the new lady?" It might be worth thinking about.

[CA central coast]

Can you private message me where you moved. I'll keep it a secret. Consider heading to a larger community, you probably won't have the same problems. I 2nd the Omaha area, I really like it there.

[OneWayOnlyJesus]

Omaha, I appreciate your replies, you appear to actually try and be helpful. The housing market here is not doing very well, so I doubt that will be an option anytime soon, otherwise I probably wouldn't even have bothered with this post. However, God can change this anytime He wants

DTO, you're replies are pretty useless, but (thank God!)... in this country we're still entitled to our opinions [so far...]

Ok, so here is another question... who knows of a COMMUNITY where the majority of the people are true Christians and not just the "religious" types?? I'm curious to see if anyone knows of even one.

For those who aren't sure what I mean, simply broken down:

True Christian: Like Christ.
Religious Type: Not like Christ.

This always reminds me of something I was told Gandhi said to Christians who didn't let him join their church, [supposedly after this he went on to become the spiritual leader for millions of Indians]:

"I believe in your Christ not your Christianity because your Christianity is not like your Christ". Well said.

May we all strive for the perfection of Christ. While I pray for this community and ask God to fill my heart with the love He has for them, those of you who are Christians I ask that you pray with me that God will awaken this community to His love... for His glory!

God Bless.