Tired of people telling me to not move to Keene (Londonderry: extended stay, Valentine's day)

[grimstuff]

My Mom said to me a few weeks back, and this really bothered me, I now know what her agenda is, she told me that once I move out there, I will be "alone", she says this to me because of my panic attacks. She says what will you do when you have one, NO ONE will be there for you. What an awful thing for her to say, just to get me to stay here with her. That really hurt me and made me so mad at her. Why cant people just be happy for others. Who cares if it is something "they" might not want to do, it doesnt make it wrong that you do.

Sounds like a fairly controlling person. My mother is similar - will use anything in her arsenal to control her offspring. Ahh... gotta love family.

About your desire to move - I say go for it. What's that famous slogan? Just do it. Of course, only after careful consideration and planning, hah - but no really, there's only so much thinking and planning you can do. The fact of the matter is that making such a huge change will require a courageous leap out into the unknown. I've made three huge moves in my life, both back and forth across the West and East Coasts. Every time I came back West it was in economic failure, poor health, family turmoil. But next time, it's going to be for good. What will I say when people ask me what the hell I'm doing? I'll tell them "I'm going home." Because that's what has always drawn me back East - something about it, can't put my finger on it - but its as unmistakable as someone taking you by the hand and leading you there. California is a land of stunning natural beauty; a huge state, with lots of variety. But nowhere in California can you find what makes New England such a special place.

[TOMTGB2]

Suzet...we are in the same boat. My family is actually trying to scare us into not moving by playing the race card (we are Hispanic but not fresh from the border I'm third generation and my wife is second but we are both highly educated people and I don't even speak Spanish!)) Many of the comments we received are weather related but come on in the summer here the mercury hits 120 degrees and I am not exaggerating! At least we figure back east we can have the hope of a mild winter but we know that every summer it will be hot here. With technology these days it isn't like we will never see our families again. If my mother-in-law can work a web-cam than anybody can learn.
We will miss our families when we move but I have come to believe that my family is now my wife and children.
California had drained me and I can't justify raising my kids here if I can do it in a much better place.

[TOMTGB2]

Oh and about how places can touch your heart, last year my wife and I went to Keene after seeing a story about the pumpkin festival in the American Profile section of our newspaper. We went to scout it and loved it but we want a place with more defined neighborhoods. We have two small children and want them to be able to roam the neighborhood. We are going to Durham in two weeks and have some house lined up to check out. Hopefully all will go well.

[Katlakat]

Your mom said you'd be alone? WHAT?? Don't you have a family of your own? don't you have children?

You're going into to this with more family that we did. Do you count dogs and cats as children? LOL

I hope that when you make the move, and you give yourself time to really settle in; your panic attacks stop completely. I truly pray that this move is the healthiest choice for you. Big Hugz!!

They can always come visit!!

[flu189]

From someone who has lived in extremes (NYC, NH, Alaska, Vt) relocating is always a challenge, but sometimes change is not only good, but necessary. However, unless you are financially self sufficient or a vagabond in a van who works for food and gas money just to keep on the road, you should have a plan and confirmation of some sort of employment. Pretty leaves, white steeples, etc are nice, but when you move you are not a tourist anymore. Keene I am sure has it's benefits. I have driven through there more times than I can remember and I had friends many years ago who went to school there. Other than this I can't vouch for Keene as being good, average, or bad.

[s2bmanchy]

Originally Posted by Suzet2262

My Mom said to me a few weeks back, and this really bothered me, I now know what her agenda is, she told me that once I move out there, I will be "alone", she says this to me because of my panic attacks. She says what will you do when you have one, NO ONE will be there for you. What an awful thing for her to say, just to get me to stay here with her. That really hurt me and made me so mad at her. Why cant people just be happy for others. Who cares if it is something "they" might not want to do, it doesnt make it wrong that you do.

My mother-in-law, while a great person, is very similar. She is not being very positive about my wife and I moving, and she is only going to be a little over an hours drive away! Instead of saying, I am so happy you found the place you want to live, she says, You know nothing is perfect.

Also maybe you should just tell your mother that the panic attacks may be coming from living in Cali and that when you move to NH life may just be simpler and less stress. Not to mention that you have the entire state of NH as your support group

[GypsySoul22]

Do what you and your family want. If you feel in your heart the move to NH is what you want to try go for it. Since my husband and I have been married we have moved from NY to PA, to England, and to Vermont.

No, my family doesn't agree. (my parents). They are the most negative people when it comes to making a decision and sticking with it. Wish the naysayers well but do what you feel you should do.

Big deal if it turns out 'wrong.' It's a learning experience and you can always move somewhere else.

And don't let people say 'well, you will have wasted all that money...' I was told by my father that all this moving has a price...money. Since he's not financed any of it I don't feel he has a right to comment. I am glad we moved if only to have a chance to make decisions (even hard and scary ones) without the doom cloud voices making me waver.

Your friend across the border from NH..Gypsy!

[miu]

Suzet - Sounds like typical talk coming out of SoCal. People there always think that they have it best. Whatever. People should love where they live, but on the other hand, they shouldn't down another person's choices. I love New England and will probably stay here all of my life. The rest of my family moved out to the Berkeley, CA area, but it's just not for me. I enjoy the change of seasons here, and prefer Maine lobster to the cracked crab in CA. My boyfriend moved up from Florida three years ago, and he loves it in NE also. There's more culture and history here too and I love to antique.

[irvm]

Suzet - line up some kind of job (if you need to work) and make the move.
I lived in So.Cal. for many years, and one day I woke up and realized that the California I knew had gone away, and didn't even say goodbye.

I moved back east, and have never regretted doing so.

Oh - and buy a warm coat.

[399083453]

No need to just pack it all up and move to NH.

Take a week or two off, visit your friend in MA and drive up to Keene everyday and do some normal stuff. No tourist things, just normal everyday things and see if you like it.