Tired of people telling me to not move to Keene (home, school)

[DareToDream]

Originally Posted by Captjob

Hi Suzet and all,

Ok, I just got back from my New England trip yesterday and I wanted to share some of my experiences with you as I feel the same (exactly) as you and others do about the So Cal/New England move.

If you have a few minutes please indulge:

First,

We left Cali the day before the last big rain storm and spent the last 14 days traveling all over the East Coast from DC to Littleton and back again.

We did the typical tourist things staying and enjoying DC for a few days, moving on to Gettysburg for a few days, Hershey PA and the factory and then up to my brothers house in Uxbridge MA before moving on to NH.

The further North we traveled the nicer communities, people and places we found. We hit the snowline just North of Boston; however, we brought a California heat wave with us as it began to get unseasonable warm for NE this time of year. The first week of the trip the temps averaged in the 50s and 60s with no weather worries at all. We were disappointed as we were hoping for some winter weather.

We spent time looking at property and homes in most of the states and had a good example of what to expect as far as price and taxes in each state.

What I found, as expected, was NE is probably the exact opposite to So Cal. Never stuck in traffic, clean air, slower pace, lots of land and open space, very few rude people to speak of and those we ran into were typical city dwellers.

It was strange to see horse and buggies parked in front of the super Wal-Marts. (Amish country) Although we tried, we never found one good Mexican restaurant anywhere so if you have a passion for real Mexican food…well good luck.

Wide-open spaces, farms, old Victorian homes separated by acres and acres of land were the norm.

The kids played in the leaves in the lower states, had snowball fights in the upper and ice-skated in front of the national archives.
There was always something to do or see.

All in all it was a great experience and I hated to come home. When we arrived home we were met by a two-hour bumper-to-bumper commute of only thirty miles with the A/C running in January. Ahh…nothing like the So Cal experience.

The only draw back for me is now my wife AND kids want to move tomorrow. Having to wait these next several years is going to be hard.

I will have to share more experiences, as some were very interesting, and post some pictures as well.

Don’t let anyone rain of your dream, there is a large leaf pile with your name on it waiting for you back there.

Captjob

Captjob - Sounds like you and your family had a great trip! I'm glad you enjoyed the NE!

[lisa g]

I'll provide some added support for considering NH vs. SoCal. Our move back to NH after 10 yrs in SoCal proved to be the right decision for us. But then we'd already lived here & knew what it was like. Every day in SoCal (SCV, specifically) became more and more unbearable. The smog, the unbearable heat, the traffic, the superficial materialistic society(for the most part), as well as living conditions-the quality of affordable life and the drastic limitations. When our kids were little, our tiny SoCal yard (large by SoCal standards, I should add) was fine for them to explore. But as they got older, it wasn't large enough to even have a catch in, or use RC toys, etc. I got increasingly upset at having to drive to open spaces to play in and having to keep them in structured activities to get exercise. But then as a family we're all more likely to be outdoors and active in cold fresh air,(smog contributed to my daughter's asthma) and enjoy snow sports more than running in 100 deg. plus temps. People here do seem more thoughtful and intelligent (I think it was Baobab girl who made this observation). At Best Buy in SCV, for example, when asking for help, you get a kid who either says "i don't know" or "let me find out" if you're lucky, then the answer is half-baked. At Best Buy here, most kids can answer our technical q's(seriously detailed, at that) intelligently, and they are happy to do it. Another factor to consider is that here in NH you'll be surrounded by the glories of every season. Imagine that! We moved here in late August, just in time for summer to wane and experienced a spectacular fall. Suzet and others--I don't know how to express this, but different seasons just plain feel differently, and fall in NH is absolutely stunning, and more than a bit bewitching. Probably because New England was inhabited long before SoCal & has a longer richer history. A totally different vibe. I, too, appreciate heavy grey days and cold northern cloud patterns you won't see in SoCal.(One day I'll visit the NT to see the northern lights). For the life of me I have never experienced people's egos being so tied to their choice of location as in SoCal. Even the transplants recoiling at any suggestion contrary to their 'this is the best place in the country' belief. Suzet, I haven't been to Keene in years, but I can say that I haven't had to drive past or interact with gang thugs since leaving SCV. And although I am a brunette, it's been a relief that I haven't had to tell people "no habla espanol" since moving here. I was seriously considering going blonde, but that would have looked ridiculous & didn't want to bleach my hair...sorry for digressing!

Honestly, if you have good friends that are trying to convince you you are nuts for considering the big move, it's probably because they will miss you. If they don't fall into the good friends category, take what they say with a grain of salt.

I guess because of the recent replies to this thread I only became aware of it today, or I would have replied sooner. Hope this helps! Oh, & I'll take snow storms & cold temps any day over earthquakes & fires!! Evacuating your home when your neighborhood is engulfed in flames is NOT fun. (we had police w/guns drawn actually needing access to our backyard when we were finally allowed to return home. Of course, chasing looters hiding in the hills.)

[Valerie C]

This has turned into one of my favorite threads, thanks to all of you present and future NH residents (lisa g, baobob, captjob, rmcewan and more) who share their thoughts and observations of where they were, where they are, and the vast differences. My only experience living out of New England was 5 years in a St. Louis MO suburb (which was more than enough for me!) I find it enlightening to look at my own state through someone else's eyes, and makes me all the more appreciative that HERE is where I live.

[Captjob]

Originally Posted by lisa g

I'll provide some added support for considering NH vs. SoCal. Our move back to NH after 10 yrs in SoCal proved to be the right decision for us. But then we'd already lived here & knew what it was like. Every day in SoCal (SCV, specifically) became more and more unbearable. The smog, the unbearable heat, the traffic, the superficial materialistic society(for the most part), as well as living conditions-the quality of affordable life and the drastic limitations. When our kids were little, our tiny SoCal yard (large by SoCal standards, I should add) was fine for them to explore. But as they got older, it wasn't large enough to even have a catch in, or use RC toys, etc. I got increasingly upset at having to drive to open spaces to play in and having to keep them in structured activities to get exercise. But then as a family we're all more likely to be outdoors and active in cold fresh air,(smog contributed to my daughter's asthma) and enjoy snow sports more than running in 100 deg. plus temps. People here do seem more thoughtful and intelligent (I think it was Baobab girl who made this observation). At Best Buy in SCV, for example, when asking for help, you get a kid who either says "i don't know" or "let me find out" if you're lucky, then the answer is half-baked. At Best Buy here, most kids can answer our technical q's(seriously detailed, at that) intelligently, and they are happy to do it. Another factor to consider is that here in NH you'll be surrounded by the glories of every season. Imagine that! We moved here in late August, just in time for summer to wane and experienced a spectacular fall. Suzet and others--I don't know how to express this, but different seasons just plain feel differently, and fall in NH is absolutely stunning, and more than a bit bewitching. Probably because New England was inhabited long before SoCal & has a longer richer history. A totally different vibe. I, too, appreciate heavy grey days and cold northern cloud patterns you won't see in SoCal.(One day I'll visit the NT to see the northern lights). For the life of me I have never experienced people's egos being so tied to their choice of location as in SoCal. Even the transplants recoiling at any suggestion contrary to their 'this is the best place in the country' belief. Suzet, I haven't been to Keene in years, but I can say that I haven't had to drive past or interact with gang thugs since leaving SCV. And although I am a brunette, it's been a relief that I haven't had to tell people "no habla espanol" since moving here. I was seriously considering going blonde, but that would have looked ridiculous & didn't want to bleach my hair...sorry for digressing!

Honestly, if you have good friends that are trying to convince you you are nuts for considering the big move, it's probably because they will miss you. If they don't fall into the good friends category, take what they say with a grain of salt.

I guess because of the recent replies to this thread I only became aware of it today, or I would have replied sooner. Hope this helps! Oh, & I'll take snow storms & cold temps any day over earthquakes & fires!! Evacuating your home when your neighborhood is engulfed in flames is NOT fun. (we had police w/guns drawn actually needing access to our backyard when we were finally allowed to return home. Of course, chasing looters hiding in the hills.)

Hi Lisa G!

I agree with this completely. It is exactly as you described it. The competition to keep up with the neighbors is rampant in our community and with everything else SoCal is we are just exhausted. Cant wait to move and experience a NH fall and all the pleasant activities and lifestyle changes to come.

Captjob

[lisa g]

Thank you, Captjob. Sometimes I wonder whether I ramble too much about this topic and sound like a mental patient. I'm sure I will decompress eventually Best of luck to you-and I totally relate to the neighbors competition, btw. it's funny now in retrospect but was sickening to live around.

[lisa g]

Valerie, I'm glad I could offer the perspective of someone who can compare life elsewhere to New England life. Our family, in NH and N. Mass, have complained and basically taken it for granted--they have NO idea what life is like elsewhere, but we know better

[Suzet2262]

Wow, I am so glad this post is active again. I have read all the new posts, they came at a good time. I am going to have hubby read them tonight.

Were to start for the responses..lol.

Captjob, you sound like you had a wonderful trip. Good for you. I am sooo jealous. I cant wait till we are on our way to NH. Thanks for your posts, it was very informative. I enjoyed reading it very much. You gave me something good to look forward to.

My hubby has been, I dont want to say second thoughts, but he is kinda freaked about the cold. Being a So Cali person, he is so used to our "weather", if you want to call it that. He likes to go to the snow, but its the living in it that has him freaked. Me, I look at life as an adventure, and we should experience it. Worst case for us, if we hate it, we have a second home in NH that we visit when it isnt freezing.

Lisa, I like reading your posts, you are my girl from Santa Clarita. Haha, it is funny when I am reading about Best Buy, I know just what you mean. It is like that in all the stores around here. You either get really snotty teen girls who think they are all that, or some stupid a** kid who isnt paying attention to what it is you need from them. Customer service isnt great out here. I guess you can run into that anything though. Everything you have said about So Cali is completely true. That is why I want out. I get freaked at driving on the roads. I am always worrying about daughters when they drive. Some teenage girl left her home Friday morning to drive to school, and was texting, she ran through a light and hit one of the Santa Clarita buses, she was killed, and 5 or so people were hurt bad on the bus. These kids out here are soo careless. They all have their Cadillac Escalades, Navigators, Tahoes, Mercedes, BMWs, etc...and they have no respect for the road or the drivers on them. How tragic...

I would love to be able to experience all 4 seasons. I want to see the snow fall, the leave change, and feel the cool crisp air blowing in my face.

rmcewan, that picture is just priceless. It makes me kind of wish I had a little one still I bet your kids had a blast playing in all the leaves.

Haha, your are right Val, that is all the reason I need. Now lets work on giving the hubby a reason.

statistics nut, thank you for your post going the opposite way. That is what I like about this forum. You get to read all kinds of experiences. I understand what you mean about change. I fear if I do move and come back for a visit, I wont reconize my home town. Well it is changing so fast as it is right now. They tear down mountains without a second thought, to put up an 8 lane highway, like we need another one of those...

I agree that I cant live for what others think. I dont understand why it is such a big deal. It is a move to a wonderful place. I think everyone should move to some other places in their lives. Why do you have to live and die in the same place. And with todays technology, we can see each other everyday on the computer, so it isnt like I am dissapearing.

Where ever you end up at, I hope it is a place you want to call your home, and it brings you happiness. Thank you for your post.

baobob girl.....Calif feels like another country to me too. I really hate the push 1 for english. That makes me really mad. I agree that us in Cali have a pretty easy life. There isnt much to worry about, I mean really, stores are everywhere, and you can find something open at all hours. There isnt any weather to worry about, I mean as far as getting snowed in or not being able to drive cuz the roads are icey. But there is a huge price to pay to live here. And I dont want it anymore. To me it isnt worth it. Not to mention the quakes too, on top of the other things. I wish you well in your new life in Peterborough.

[~Boo~]

I also enjoyed reading about the perspective of others that have lived in NH & in Cali. Even living other places like Valerie & DareToDream... now enjoying all that NH has to offer. It's nice to hear that you can appreciate where you live. Thanks for the posts!

[DareToDream]

Originally Posted by BuggaBoo2

I also enjoyed reading about the perspective of others that have lived in NH & in Cali. Even living other places like Valerie & DareToDream... now enjoying all that NH has to offer. It's nice to hear that you can appreciate where you live. Thanks for the posts!

BuggaBoo - You know, I really think a lot of it has to do with a "mind-set" and probably life experiences. I know that I was very excited when we first moved to NH. After living in the rental, as winter came, my enthusiasm waned and it waned a LOT. I was pretty miserable and cold all the time.

However, I think this is where life experience and mind-set comes in. Even though I was, I guess you'd call it "physically miserable" from being so cold all the time (heck I'd walk around muttering, "I'm too old for this nonsense" <g>), I was able to see past that and realize that rental was only temporary - we could either find a warmer one or, if lucky, find a house we liked and buy it, which we did. Even after that, we had some set-backs, which I won't bore you with, but we weathered them and came out okay.

We knew we wanted to live in NH, we knew our income would take a major "hit", we knew that we knew nobody up here and would have to find "new friends" and that we were leaving a good chunk of our families behind. In the end it all worked out well - we've made new friends, which helps. That didn't happen overnight, we had to put ourselves 'out there' and wait a bit, but once people got to know us and who we are and what we "stand for" we were readily accepted, it just took time. We came into the move with our eyes open, and I guess you'd say our "hearts open." It all paid off.

We didn't have to worry about schools or how our kids would acclimate, as they are all on their own now, we only had to be concerned with each other. I guess we're fortunate in that not only are hubby and I married, we are also good friends to each other, so the "strength" of our relationship helped us to overcome some of the hurdles we've had to face and it made the hurdles not quite as threatening, if that makes any sense.

We still have relatives and friends who can't understand how we can be happy living the way we do - very low key, very low stress, lower income, etc., but they are also the ones who have never been here and have not experienced the area or the "atmosphere." Some have decided to come visit this year, which will be nice

I have to say that one of the nicest things we hear from our "new friends" is that they love to come and visit us - they tell us our home feels inviting and comforting - to me that's worth more than all the money/out-trappings of "society", etc. that we may have had in NY - It speaks to who we are and what we have accomplished...and it shows the difference in the people here in NH from where we were in NY - The NH friends don't look for the "flash and glitter" ... they look more to what's in the heart and soul....and to me that means much, much more

Guess I'm feeling philosophical this morning - sorry for the ramble!

[CometVoyager]

Originally Posted by Suzet2262

My family and I just got back from having dinner. We ran into a friend of ours we havent seen in many years. He asked what we were up to, I told him about our plans for moving to Keene, and before I could finish, he was like NO dont do it!!! He then proceeded to give a list of reasons for us not moving out there. I guess tonight it really got to me. For the first time I actually feel confused. Can someone from So Cali really be happy back east? Sigh, I dont know. I am just really tired of people always telling me we are making a HUGE mistake by moving. Yes I know it will be a different way of life, but that is what we are looking for. One of my daughters wants to stay back here in Cali, and we are fine with that (well not fine, I will miss her very very much!! But she is 22 and time for her to live her life). I understand it gets cold in NH, I personally love the cold. I love cloudy days, I prefer them to just plain sunny skies. I love rain (when we get it). Yes we arent experienced with snow, but should that be a reason for not moving? There are mother nature issues in EVERY state. I dont know how many of you have been through an earthquake, but let me tell you, I have never experienced a more terrifing(sp?) feeling in my life. And I dont want to be out here for "The Big One", the thought of it keeps me up at night. So dealing with snow to me, seems like not that big of a deal. Haha, I say that now, only because I have never dealt with it. Ask me again, after my first spin out or driving off the road...LOL

Out here we have heat, heat, and more heat, then we have heat mixed with smog. I am just tired of the whole Cali way of life. Sigh, I dont know what I am really saying, I am just confused I guess I am looking for someone to say hey, that is a great idea, and I wish you and your family luck on your move. I am tired of people making me feel like I am nuts for wanting to move.

Hi Suzet!

Great Thread!
Having lived in California for I think way too long, I truly would encourage your husband and whole family to recognize New Hampshire as having a much better quality of life, not to mention all the beauty that surrounds one living in New Hampshire! The only fear I have about New England in general, is that everyone from California will want to move here and turn it into one big Subdivision!!!
Another positive aspect of living in New England, is that it is not one big freeway like LA. We have many beautiful country roads, good schools, great medical care and New England is by far an one of the best and outstanding higher academic meccas in the world and certainly is number one in the country! Not to mention you can buy a well crafted home unlike the match box sheet rock homes they build in CA subdivisions! Our water tastes better too!

Good Luck and Hope you do more here!