New Hampshie Barbies (Manchester, Concord, Rochester: apartment, credit card, mobile home)

[Yankeehombre]

Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for
the New Hampshire Market:

Stratham Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at exclusive Bedford stores. She comes
with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired
foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or
without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction
with "augmented" version.

Concord Barbie
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan
and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time
occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold
separately.

Manchester Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,
a
Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Portable Meth Lab. This model is only

available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Prefer ably small,
untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you
are
talking about.

Amherst Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer h3.

Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School

Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Laconia Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR shirt an d tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a
six
pack of Coors light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5
feet and kick Mullet Ken's butt when she's drunk. Purchase her
pickup
truck
separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

Loon Barbie
This collagen-injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski
outfit and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge.
Optional Percocet prescription available.

Wakefield Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased "Beer Gut"

Ken out of Rochester Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low rise
acid
washed jeans, fake finger nails, and a see through halter top. She smokes those filtered cigarette sized cigars.Also
available with a mobile home and 8-track tape player.

Newmarket Barbi e
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white
socks.
She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or
need a Ken
doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you
get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Hanover Barbie
This Barbie comes with her own mountain bike. Available with SUV, complete

with Kayak on the roof and dog in the back. Optional Ken doll also comes
with his own mountain bike kayak and dog.

Farmington Barbie
This Barbie is only 14 and comes with a stroller and infant doll. And is prgnant with anothe one. Optional

accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy
were
available, but are very difficult to find since the infant came along.

Rochester Barbie
This chain smoking, beer chugging model has lo w rise jeans complete with
muffin tops, for that extra something to hold on to. She has a lower back
tattoo, cuz she's kinda slutty like that. She drives a 1995 ford
probe,
and
thinks she can dance better then you can. She comes complete with Drug
Dealing Ken, who doesn't have a car or his license because he's on

probation. Navel piercing sold separately

Somersworth Barbie
This Barbie comes with tangled hair and missing teeth. She is sporting LA
Gear sneakers, tapered Jeans and a B.U.M equipment belly shirt.
Somersworth
Barbie is also available with Bearded Ken, who serves as her
cousin/boyfriend.

Seabrook Barbie
This Barbie was available last Christmas as "North Shore Boston
Barbie."
She comes decked out head-to-toe in Pats and Sawx Geah from Wal-Maht.
Sports a warm, healthy glow, even with the lights off. Don't **** her
off,
& gt; because she knows some people. Public Housing Apartment and BabyDaddy
Ken
sold separately.

Hampton Barbie
This Barbie is available from Memorial Day through Labor Day, sporting a
string bikini top and cut-off, Daisy Duke shorts. She features a tribal
tattoo on her ankle, a "tramp stamp" tattoo on her lower back
and
malignant
melanoma scattered around her body. She fits perfectly on the back of
Steak-Head KenÃ*¢ââ€*Â*(tm)s 800 CC Crotch Rocket, wearing
sandals and no
helmet.
Med-Evac Helicopter Playset sold separately.

Dover Barbie
This Barbie is 25 years old with a liberal arts degree, but she spends her

days making $5 coffee drinks for Stratham Barbie. She comes with a cheap
purse, which doesn't matter because she'll lose it at Biddy
Mulligan's on
Saturday night, anyway. Man-**** Ken Doll sold separately, although he
nev er remembers to call her after he sneaks out of her apartment on
Sunday
morning.

Epping Barbie
This Barbie tips the scales at nearly 300 pounds, but it doesn't
matter
because she's about to start that new diet she saw on Maury Povitch.
Comes
with lime green stretch pants and a pink hoodie with ketchup and mustard
stains. She spends her evenings cruising Route 125 with Welfare Cheat Ken
in his '87 Chevy Camaro, at least when it runs.

[Ken E]

I'll take a couple of those Wakefield ones as I'll be living just up the road a bit.

[GregW]

Ya can change the town but you will never run out of Barbies.

[buck naked]

I have a Barbie collector in the family and she wants one of each....



looking for the wallet (sigh....)

[renlouis]

Could someone write Keene Barbie and Peterborough Barbie descriptions?

[OCCASparky]

Saw most of those as Massachusetts Barbies a while ago. But try as you might, you'll never have:

Bostonist: Limited Edition Barbie: Massachusetts Edition



Provincetown Barbie/Ken--This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

[JFRRACING]

you mean i lived in n.h for 38 years and didn't even know there were barbies there. huh, go figure. and i'm a ken.

[DareToDream]

No Northern NH Barbies?

[buck naked]

multiple snap on parts! ROFL

[DareToDream]

Wise guy Does she come with her own snowmobile, ATV, etc.?