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how would you prefer someone to disagree with your contention that people from New Hampshire are, by and large, a-holes?
I made no such statement and would not use such language. I believe I presented my personal experience politely and expressed my disagreement politely. If you choose to attack me personally and rudely because my experience is different from yours, you're sort of proving my point.
Notice the subject of this thread: "Has Anyone Moved to New Hampshire and Regretted It?" You need to expect a variety of replies to that question. My answer is yes, I regret it, and the main reason is the social structure and how people relate to others in this state. No doubt that strikes you as a generalization. It is. I find the people here generally less friendly than any other place I've lived. It is what it is: my experience simply can't be identical to yours. Why does it upset you so much that my experience is different from yours? That's just the way life is.
My first post was in support of another poster who is not fond of the people in New Hampshire. He wrote, "What surprised me is how difficult I found it to cope with the duplicitous and ruthless people who run small towns. Maybe it is the same everywhere. But the contractors, builders, realtors and worst of all the Historic District Council were all a closed shop. If you were on the outside you were simply persona non grata. No matter how nice you were. I have seen it a lot. And the social hierarchy is like a cross between Downton Abby and a pack of hyenas. "
Below are some more quotes from this thread about the people in New Hampshire. Are all of our opinions "absurd" and "utter nonsense"? If so, perhaps you can find a more polite way to express your opinion, and maybe also review the terms of use at http://www.city-data.com/forumtos.html with regard to civil behavior.
"The social climate and ethos....to me at least....imo, is snooty, self centered..meanish.....aloof....and well...typical New England attitude and demeanors."
Reply to the above: "Well you pretty much summarized exactly what NH/NE is known for, that pretty much everyone in the entire country knows."
"What I personally encountered as a single male from the west coast....was this underlying uneasiness in NH....this aloofness with a strong sprinkling of east coast pomposity. In dealing with business owners..and realtors...this agressive drive for your money. With dating, this enormous, self-centeredness, and lack of human warmth. I guess you would have to have lived in places lke Portland OR...Seattle..WA...and some other west coast cities to understand more internally...the subtle personality differences. Nowhere is perfect....I am well aware of that fact. But wow...I dealt with some real tough, mean souls in NH. . . I was overjoyed to move back out west."
Reply to the above: "I felt that way too you're not the only one and u get a lot of crap for calling it out in here but looking at most posts from outsiders it's a common theme. It's hard to see the problem whe you are the problem sometimes."
Well, your essay on how terrible the people of NH certainly is opening up my heart to how kind and respectful people from other parts of the country are. I used to think it was a culture thing, brought about by most of NH having been massively less populated than other areas, and steeped in the Yankee ideal that other people maybe don't care about your aunt's cousin's wedding more than they do chopping their wood. Now I can see that it was actually that my family and friends were all secretly terrible people. And that the only recourse is a protracted forum battle to restore our family honor.
Alternately, we could say that people from other parts of the country see New Englanders as cold and distant, we see them as goofy and over-familiar, that both are kind of right and kind of wrong, and then we wouldn't have to give Yac a stroke.
Location: Mid-Michigan by way of Northern New Hampshire
239 posts, read 350,180 times
Reputation: 322
Can we all just admit that people are people and personalities vary? Yes, there are people in New Hampshire who might be described as rude and inconsiderate but there are also people who are some of the nicest people you'll ever meet. The difference between New Hampshire and the South is that no one pretends to be what they aren't so it's easier to spot the genuinely nice people and disregard the jerks.
The REAL question is: If you thought prior to you move (or had heard) that New Englanders are cold, distant, unfriendly ..... then why did you move here? Why not move to "Agrestic, California".
Truthfully, I had heard that New Englanders were unfriendly and I have found the exact opposite to be true. However, let me be clear: I do not look for my friends based on proximity to my house. I will be neighborly and wave or chat my neighbor up.... and if there's a crisis I'll bring you a blanket or cup of coffee, however, but I am not looking for BFF's because you live across the street.
I do AGREE that finding QUALITY and HONEST builders/contractors is hard. I can't figure it out but when you find someone who is good - don't let go! Maybe it's because NH has less consumer protection laws than other states? Not advocating, just wondering.
As for the Historical Society: I have never dealt with them but I would expect them to be difficult to work with if my plans mean change and they are trying to preserve. If I had to choose; I'd rather battle them than try to kick a non paying tenet out of a property in SF
Oh, and about the Property taxes that everyone loves to harp on: this isn't an apple to apple discussion. Yes, the taxes on a $700,000 property in San Francisco or Chicago might be lower than a $700,000 house is here however, the quality of said house is a lot different. My property taxes actually went down when I moved here. I moved out of a McMansion on a lot of 14,000 square feet. I moved into a new house on several acres here. Its the right size for my needs.
Let me close with this: The most important thing to know before moving anywhere is yourself. Otherwise you might end up like the lady who was complaining she hated it here because there is no Starbucks. That just seems like someone didn't know what was and was not important in their lives... if you don't do your homework sooner or later you're gonna fail.
geez... if you think NH people are unfriendly, don't visit Massachusetts.... I live there for the first 37 years of my life before I escaped over the border to NH in '95 and the difference is like night and day.... hate to say it, but my wife and I will never move back....
The REAL question is: If you thought prior to your move (or had heard) that New Englanders are cold, distant, unfriendly ..... then why did you move here?
I had actually never heard that about New Englanders before I moved here. I came here from a foreign country. I just assumed that people here were going to be as friendly as in my country. It was a social shock.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fenway Freak
Can we all just admit that people are people and personalities vary?
I used to think like that until I began traveling as a young person. Although individuals vary, of course, if you drive across the country or around the world and you stay for a time in different places, you come home with a general impression that in fact people really are different in each area, that there really is a local character for each state, country, etc. That is what sociology and anthropology reveal. Geography, climate, history, economics, available resources, religion, etc.---the peculiarities in each area come together to form the local character.
I made no such statement and would not use such language. I believe I presented my personal experience politely and expressed my disagreement politely. If you choose to attack me personally and rudely because my experience is different from yours, you're sort of proving my point.
Notice the subject of this thread: "Has Anyone Moved to New Hampshire and Regretted It?" You need to expect a variety of replies to that question. My answer is yes, I regret it, and the main reason is the social structure and how people relate to others in this state. No doubt that strikes you as a generalization. It is. I find the people here generally less friendly than any other place I've lived. It is what it is: my experience simply can't be identical to yours. Why does it upset you so much that my experience is different from yours? That's just the way life is.
My first post was in support of another poster who is not fond of the people in New Hampshire. He wrote, "What surprised me is how difficult I found it to cope with the duplicitous and ruthless people who run small towns. Maybe it is the same everywhere. But the contractors, builders, realtors and worst of all the Historic District Council were all a closed shop. If you were on the outside you were simply persona non grata. No matter how nice you were. I have seen it a lot. And the social hierarchy is like a cross between Downton Abby and a pack of hyenas. "
Below are some more quotes from this thread about the people in New Hampshire. Are all of our opinions "absurd" and "utter nonsense"? If so, perhaps you can find a more polite way to express your opinion, and maybe also review the terms of use at http://www.city-data.com/forumtos.html with regard to civil behavior.
"The social climate and ethos....to me at least....imo, is snooty, self centered..meanish.....aloof....and well...typical New England attitude and demeanors."
Reply to the above: "Well you pretty much summarized exactly what NH/NE is known for, that pretty much everyone in the entire country knows."
"What I personally encountered as a single male from the west coast....was this underlying uneasiness in NH....this aloofness with a strong sprinkling of east coast pomposity. In dealing with business owners..and realtors...this agressive drive for your money. With dating, this enormous, self-centeredness, and lack of human warmth. I guess you would have to have lived in places lke Portland OR...Seattle..WA...and some other west coast cities to understand more internally...the subtle personality differences. Nowhere is perfect....I am well aware of that fact. But wow...I dealt with some real tough, mean souls in NH. . . I was overjoyed to move back out west."
Reply to the above: "I felt that way too you're not the only one and u get a lot of crap for calling it out in here but looking at most posts from outsiders it's a common theme. It's hard to see the problem whe you are the problem sometimes."
right - no one could possibly be offended by your contention that NH is full of "old men who care nothing about the fate of the people they trample to hold onto their positions of privilege. " and that no one would help a old lady in need shovel her driveway, and would instead race by. So yes, you're basically saying people from NH are a-holes but taking several paragraphs more to get around to the point.
Thanks for the link to the terms of use, but I think I've got it under control. For the record, I'm not from New Hampshire and I find there to be a huge difference in people from Northern New England as opposed to the southern New England states. I like people from NH and if you don't that's cool - the great thing about this country is you aren't fated to live one place the rest of your life
I find the people here generally less friendly than any other place I've lived. It is what it is: my experience simply can't be identical to yours. Why does it upset you so much that my experience is different from yours? That's just the way life is.
You have never lived in Massachusetts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by seamusnh
geez... if you think NH people are unfriendly, don't visit Massachusetts.... I live there for the first 37 years of my life before I escaped over the border to NH in '95 and the difference is like night and day.... hate to say it, but my wife and I will never move back....
I am the same way. I have lived in Maine, Massachusetts and now New Hampshire. I love Maine and New Hampshire but I will not set up residency in Massachusetts again. Due to circumstances beyond my control I am working in MA again and although working down there is (barely) tolerable (at times), living down there is not tolerable at all.
Last edited by AtkinsonDan; 11-15-2014 at 10:21 AM..
For the record, I'm not from New Hampshire and I find there to be a huge difference in people from Northern New England as opposed to the southern New England states. I like people from NH and if you don't that's cool - the great thing about this country is you aren't fated to live one place the rest of your life
Yes! There is a huge cultural difference between northern New England and southern New England.
I spent most of childhood years in a very Catholic town in Massachusetts. That town had the meanest and nastiest people I have ever dealt with in my entire life. Even though I was a kid back then it wasn't the other kids who were the worst, it was the churchgoing adults. Back then that town had three Catholic churches in it. Despite all the attendance related declines and church closings over the past twenty or so years, that town still has three active Catholic churches in it. Catholicism instills in its members from a very early age a sense of pompous judgmentalism that might only be rivaled by some of the Christian fundamentalists.
From there I moved to Maine and it was a huge culture shock because the people were so nice and friendly and I was not unaccustomed to people being that way. Northern New England as a whole seems to have escaped the effects of religious zealotry. The people I have known in Maine and New Hampshire seem to subscribe to more moderate forms of Christianity. Furthermore people in New Hampshire and Maine truly practice a live and let live way of life. I am very reluctant to trade that in for anything else.
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He's got an axe to grind with NH otherwise you don't make such a sweeping statement that on its face is absurd.
