Holding your Child back a year before starting school. (pre-school, college)

[Stone28]

I have heard from quite a few people that having your child start a year later gives them an advantage. Has anyone held there child back? And if so, do you feel the child benefited from it?

I'm really on the fence on this issue. On one hand, I do see the benefit of a child being more mature. On the other hand, I've also heard and read that a child absorbs knowledge the most between ages 3 thru 7.

[Ellwood]

After a year in K, I held my son back another year. There were 5 boys that the teacher suggested weren't ready. I was the only one who held him back to spend another year in K; the other 4 boys went ahead. I could see he wasn't interested in learning, rather his interest was still in playing. This was 28 years ago. Those 4 boys were mediocre students; my son took honors classes, advanced placement classes and graduated HS, National Honor Society with several college scholarships. He went on to graduate school. I think it made a big difference in his future. My daughter, who is a teacher, always comments how some children just aren't ready and rather than struggle, always a step behind, that year makes a tremendous difference in their learning ability.

[hencoskij]

If your child is a boy born May or later (with a school enrollment Sept. 30 cutoff) it can be very helpful. With girls this seems to not be as much the case. It really depends on your child's maturity level. How does he/she interect with kids his/her age? A little basic observation can tell you if he/she relates better with say, 5 year olds or with 4 year olds.

Among kids there is much less stigma among their peers attached to those who started later, as opposed to those who started and then were held back in elementary school.

I've actually heard of many parents, specifically those who are sports obsessed, who hold their sons back so they'll be bigger and stronger than their grade level competition. Not what I'd do, but to each his own.

[mbrown29]

I think this is a personal choice. It all depends on how the child develop and if you think your son is capable to go to school. I personally have chosen to put my 4 yr old in Pre-k and before starting school- she was given a test and was placed in advanced Pre-K. She knew her colors in english and spanish, numbers and recognition of her alphabets. I had too take advantage!

Each child is different and only the parent can decide if this is the right choice.

Good luck-

[Obrero]

If your child is born at the end of the school year (May on), I would say yes, especially if your child is a boy. If your child was to have a problem keeping up it most probably wouldn’t show up until the kid was around 7 or 8. Boys can hold their own or even excel in pre-school and then start to fall behind around grade 2 when a lot of the learning is emotional as well as factual. There is much more stigma surrounding being held back at this age than starting a year later. Also, during the teenage years, kids that are the youngest in the class (mostly boys) have the most trouble relating to "adult" situations i.e. alcohol, driving, drugs etc.

[camaro69]

Why not hold them back 2 years?

Just think of how they could become a genius.

As you can tell, I'm not a fan of holding kids back. I think it's more of the parents being afraid that their kids aren't going to be geniuses and end up normal and average.

[regarese]

I started kindergarden a year later than my peers b/c I missed the cut-off date. I was a good student, top 10 of the class, blah blah blah. I don't really know that I was better off or more adept to learning because I was older or because I just liked school. It was cool being one of the first kids to get my drivers' liscence though

Good luck making the decision-I appreciate that it's a difficult one to make.

[kort677]

Originally Posted by MPBsr

Why not hold them back 2 years?

Just think of how they could become a genius.

As you can tell, I'm not a fan of holding kids back. I think it's more of the parents being afraid that their kids aren't going to be geniuses and end up normal and average.

the biggest issue I had with not holding my kids back was them dealing with the kids who were held back. when my kids were 9 years old in the 4th grade, those kids who were held back are almost 2 years older than most kids in the grade.
Many of those kids were not any brighter than the kids who were not held back, and because they were more mature there were problems, at that age 2 years is a huge difference.

[joe moving]

I think it depends somewhat on how old the child is going to be - you do not want them to be overly old or overly young compared to the rest of the kids in their class.

Speaking from experience, do your kid a favor, and if you leave them back, do it before they start.

I'll leave it at that

[hrjersey]

As a teacher I would tell you that it has a lot to do with where your child is developmentally. If he is in Pre-K now then I would ask his teachers if they believe he is ready. If he isn't in Pre-K and you choose not to send him then consider a pre-k program to help prepare him. Or, enroll him in Kindergarten-If he isn't ready to got to first grade next year you can always hold him back.