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I would stay away from any of the "island" locations such as Brooklyn since everybody has to take a bridge or tunnel to get on and off and that is a real mess. You would be better off staying on the mainland, I would suggest somewhere off I-287 where you and she could get to both of your destinations easy. If you tried to get in & out of Brooklyn from New England you would find it would be much faster to stay in NJ. You also have several ways to get up to New England and I-95 along the CT coast gets notoriously jammed most days so most people take the Merritt Pkwy to get around that.
I-684 to I-84 is usually quicker.
Brooklyn would be a nightmare to both NJ and New England. How about Paramus? She would have a bit of drive on the Garden State and you would have a fairly clean shot at the Tappan Zee bridge? GSP commuters could maybe help here.
Also the tolls from Brooklyn to NJ are quite ridiculous, the Verrazano Br is about $10 or $11 going West and the Outerbridge or Goethals is $8 going East, you need to cross 2 rivers, so you figure about $20 a day for tolls x 5 = $100 a week, before you even gas up.
You can avoid the Vz toll by driving through Manhattan but in the morning you may not want to if you're trying to get to work on time.
Paramus to me seems crowded but there are lots of places in NJ that would work.
I would stay away from any of the "island" locations such as Brooklyn since everybody has to take a bridge or tunnel to get on and off and that is a real mess. You would be better off staying on the mainland, I would suggest somewhere off I-287 where you and she could get to both of your destinations easy. If you tried to get in & out of Brooklyn from New England you would find it would be much faster to stay in NJ. You also have several ways to get up to New England and I-95 along the CT coast gets notoriously jammed most days so most people take the Merritt Pkwy to get around that.
I-684 to I-84 is usually quicker.
Just wanted to say that I agree with all of that. Avoid the "islands" for the commutes you're going to be doing. 287 and the Parkways are usually far less congested, and a more pleasant drive in terms of scenery/atmosphere, too. The only place in NYC that would be a candidate is the northern Bronx, but that's probably going to be too far away for a daily Piscataway commute, unless the person really likes driving (I do). So stay in Jersey, not too far from 287. Off of 287, 78 also tends to be less crowded in my experience, and a more pleasant drive.
You can live in Jersey City ,she can drive or use public transportation to Piscataway. You can go over to Newark Penn and use Amtrak for your New England trips. Which is becoming a very popular thing for ppl. Our trains are fast , Electric unlike the rest of the country. Living in any part of NYC will be a challenge getting into New England the traffic on all of the highways is just terrible. It takes about 40-50 mins by Car or PT to Piscataway form JC. And you would likely be using Amtrak to a few of your New England travels.
Amtrak form Newark Penn goes to Stamford , Bridgeport , New Haven , Hartford , Springfield , Providence , Boston , Worcester , a few Vermont locations. Portland,Me via the Downeaster.
I would suggest living as close to Piscatway as possible. Since your fiancee will have to commute daily, there is no point in her driving an hour in each direction every single day from a place like Paramus or JC. Since you are only traveling to New England once a week, that extra hour up the turnkpike or parkway will be much easier on you.
YOu need to be somewhere that AMtrak services. If I were you I would look somewhere around the Metropark Station area in Edison/Woodbridge. Close to Piscataway for her commute, and easy access to Amtrak for you.
Why are we assuming that a train would be convenient for the OP to get to various locations in New England? We don't know if he's going to primarily be going to places that would have train stations nearby, or whether he needs to get around a lot wherever he's going to be.
A train could work out well for him, but it could be completely useless, too.
You could consider the norther NJ areas of Paterson, Clifton, Passaic, Montclair.
Depending on where your fiancee works, she might be able to take public trans or if she drives, it is against traffic heading south on the GSP. (I used to live in West Paterson and commuted to Raritan).
These towns are close to NYC, 20 mins to Manhattan and close to trains and other forms of public trans for getting into the city, or a quick drive (barring traffic).
As far as commuting to New England, the north jersey area of paterson/west paterson/wayne has a plethora of roads heading in all directions. Route 287 will take you north, or you can hop on the NJT/95.
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