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Old 09-01-2010, 07:26 PM
 
132 posts, read 409,316 times
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[quote=Taliana;15720151]I personally would never buy the crappiest house in Millburn just to have my kid go to Millburn highschool/schools. For one, they may feel very inferior to other kids, because the majority of Millburn is extremely wealthy. My best friend grew up in Millburn and she absolutely hated it. She grew up in a tiny house in Millburn and was made fun of by the rich and popular girls, because she had a small house. She was traumatized.

Maybe she just wasn't cool enough?
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Old 09-01-2010, 07:59 PM
 
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Lisa Shue went to Harvard, Andrew Shue went to Dartmouth....Lauryn (who I personally know from being in classes with her) was in a few top level honors/AP classes in highschool. Yes, she has been portrayed in the media as having gone off the deep end...but are we going to blame her old highschool for it or the cold harsh reality of show business?????
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Old 09-01-2010, 08:06 PM
 
Location: North Brunswick
877 posts, read 2,826,732 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taliana View Post
I personally would never buy the crappiest house in Millburn just to have my kid go to Millburn highschool/schools. For one, they may feel very inferior to other kids, because the majority of Millburn is extremely wealthy. My best friend grew up in Millburn and she absolutely hated it. She grew up in a tiny house in Millburn and was made fun of by the rich and popular girls, because she had a small house. She was traumatized. I, on the other hand went to Columbia highschool in Maplewood and absolutely loved it!!! Columbia highschool is not known to measure up to Millburn academically, but guess what? we had a beautiful house and I was proud of that!!! My family was considered to be the big fish in the sea and that is something I felt was important(unfortunately) especially as a teenager. Not, for nothing but my girlfriend and I both ended up in the same profession(medical profession) and we are doing extremely well financially for ourselves.
I had a similar experience to that of your friend. And my best friend too also had that experience, and while he, unlike me, is passionate about the place he grew up (Highland Park), he was never fond of the public school system there, and its high school was ranked highest in Central NJ, I think 37 out of 322 on the 2010 list (beat only by Millburn and other schools in North NJ of extreme wealth). When you're on the low end of a high class yuppie town, public school there will be hell, regardless of how high it is ranked. My family learned the hard way. I would never return to Manalapan (where I grew up) to raise a family. And its high school isn't even ranked that good compared to other areas of similar affluence.
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Old 09-01-2010, 08:58 PM
 
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Yes, I agree WHOELSEBUTCHARLES! I personally do not think it is worth it, if you are on the low end of a wealthy town. Why put your kids through that when they can still get a great education in other towns with more house for the money!
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Old 09-01-2010, 10:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bradykp View Post
i'm confused. so is it better to buy in a town that has a "top school" or is it that the parents who care about their kids will succeed?

it sounds like 2 seperate arguments are being made by you Elaine?

to me, i think the most critical thing is parents involvement in their children's education. next, it's critical to ensure your children are being challenged. if the classes at their school aren't challenging them, or if the population of students at the school is fostering a negative environment, then they won't progress. some will make it through fine, but some need that challenge.


Which is why I choose private over any public school district in NJ.
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Old 09-01-2010, 10:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by FUALL View Post
I don't know, but these people aren't really considered the smartest folks around
I don't even know who they are? Who are they and what have they done lately?
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Old 09-02-2010, 08:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taliana View Post
Yes, I agree WHOELSEBUTCHARLES! I personally do not think it is worth it, if you are on the low end of a wealthy town. Why put your kids through that when they can still get a great education in other towns with more house for the money!
I don't disagree with you--or what you've said. I really think many many factors contribute to where a person should purchase a home and/or raise a child.....

First--let me amend what I know of Millburn to correct the record--and then I will share with you some more thoughts on the matter.

I can tell you anecdotally that Millburn *does* have economic "diversity"--it rangers from upper middle class to wildly rich and yes, I am being sarcastic on purpose even as I am accurate! There are rentals but they are limited--most people are homeowners. In Short Hills--the toniest part of town--homes range from $800K-$10M with I'd say the bulk hovering around the $1M-$4M range. These are not poor folks, for sure--although a surprising number of the wealthier set of people send their kids to private--from Pingry, to Far Brook, Kent Place etc.

I can also tell you too that yesterday's Millburn is not today's Millburn. As our public education system has gone into a slow decline statewide and natiowide, Millburn's held on to it's $$--they so far evaded many of the budget cuts that other towns had to deal with--at least for this fiscal year. Next year is a different story....

Still, what it translates into is a newer class of people coming in who are here for one reason--education. There is an influx of foreign money coming in and they look at one thing and one thing only--schools. There are also little foreign enclaves where people rent just to get their kids in the system. They are much less about $$ than they are about smarts.

Snobbery ABSOLUTELY exists in Millburn--but it's not economic snobbery so much as it is intellectual elitism. That kind of pressure yields it's own type of hell too, don't kid yourself--but it's not "I have this and you have that." It's more of "I am taking this AP class, have that tutor for this and am getting private lessons in tennis." THAT"s what you need money for at Millburn HS--so you can keep up from a performance perspective more than so you can flaunt pretty stuff. That is not the best environment for the majority of children. It is something I think of daily as I consider my niece in the system and my kids who are rapidly heading towards MHS.

So more insights.....

There are some REALLY good things happening in Millburn that I do like a lot. Fresh faced young people--mostly too busy studying to get into serious trouble. Kids piling around Main Street on Saturday nights going to the movies and although there are drugs and alcohol and bullying etc as everywhere else, it's not as bad as it was in other tows we've lived in. I have a niece in this system and her concerns are mostly academic and not social and for that, I am grateful. There have been incidents here--of course--no place where teenagers live is drama free.

As to where you buy--well it has everything to do with choices we make around values etc..... If a pretty house is your thing--if you like really well decorated McMansions--probably not the place for you. People here really do NOT place a high premium on interior decor--thought lawns are nicely kept up. If you are looking for style-probably not the right place either though they do have an impressive arts scene courtesy of the school and the PaperMill Playhouse.

But it's not nirvana and it's not right for every kid. Believe me, I know that first hand. However--much as I can go back and forth on this town--they absolutely have a winning formula when it comes to delivering an educational environment on par with the most elite in this country. That---I have to admit--they have done.


...and for the record, although I am successful, I would have emerged out of MHS with a nervous tic--that was NOT the right kind of environment for me so again--it truly is a personal thing. There are no guarantees when it comes to raising kids--no school system can do the job of parenting. In the end, developing successful young people is a marathon and not a sprint--one that extends well beyond getting into college. You have to look at all factors---from personality, to the ethics you teach them to their own inner drive and work with what you have....cross your fingers a lot....and let the rest happen.

Finally---a plug for NJ schools. We've lived in many different places and the education in NJ is really fantastic all the way around. I think there is more than one way to get ahead in life and while an elite education of any sort can act as a faster access ramp, it is not the only way to get success. I personally try to focus more on my kids being optimistic, curious, hard working and honest. If the Millburn school system begins to take any of this away from them at any moment, we will reconsider!

The important thing is that NJ schools on the whole offer students a great deal of what they need in life--much more so than other states.

Last edited by MommaBear2Cubs; 09-02-2010 at 08:53 AM..
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Old 09-02-2010, 01:13 PM
 
Location: North Brunswick
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Originally Posted by MommaBear2Cubs View Post
Snobbery ABSOLUTELY exists in Millburn--but it's not economic snobbery so much as it is intellectual elitism. That kind of pressure yields it's own type of hell too, don't kid yourself--but it's not "I have this and you have that." It's more of "I am taking this AP class, have that tutor for this and am getting private lessons in tennis." THAT"s what you need money for at Millburn HS--so you can keep up from a performance perspective more than so you can flaunt pretty stuff. That is not the best environment for the majority of children. It is something I think of daily as I consider my niece in the system and my kids who are rapidly heading towards MHS.
But at the end of the day, it has the same effect, on who is respected and who is rejected.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaBear2Cubs View Post
...and for the record, although I am successful, I would have emerged out of MHS with a nervous tic--that was NOT the right kind of environment for me so again--it truly is a personal thing.
So you admit it wouldn't have been right for you. See if your kids get that nervous tick when they get in there. I am intimately familiar with that nervous tick as I had it coming out of Manalapan High as well. And it didn't go away until I went away to college. No place is perfect. I knew someone from the nastiest area of Staten Island getting a free ride to Princeton. It's what the student puts into it, first and foremost. No one needs any other competetion or belittling distractions.
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Old 09-02-2010, 01:37 PM
 
Location: WFNJ
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Originally Posted by Whoelsebutcharles View Post
But at the end of the day, it has the same effect, on who is respected and who is rejected.
Welcome to High School.
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Old 09-02-2010, 03:34 PM
 
74 posts, read 209,438 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whoelsebutcharles View Post
But at the end of the day, it has the same effect, on who is respected and who is rejected.



So you admit it wouldn't have been right for you. See if your kids get that nervous tick when they get in there. I am intimately familiar with that nervous tick as I had it coming out of Manalapan High as well. And it didn't go away until I went away to college. No place is perfect. I knew someone from the nastiest area of Staten Island getting a free ride to Princeton. It's what the student puts into it, first and foremost. No one needs any other competetion or belittling distractions.
Of course I "admit it"...... I am not arguing one way or the other; just trying to shed insight as to the rankings, what's behind it and why some people pay $800K for a ranch when the same amount gets them a McMansion somewhere else.....

I think at the end--if you have an academically gifted student and you want to to provide them with an elite education--Millburn will do it.

If you have an academically average student and want to give them a leg up in terms of resources and surroundings--Millburn will do it too and probably get your student into a slightly "better" college.

If you have a a child with a niche--arts and music--again, a place like Millburn HS will propel you into the Julliards etc.....

But in the end---no matter what kind of kid you have---be sure it's a kid with THICK skin if you are considering Millburn because yes, the competition is intense and it is not for everyone-present company years ago included.

No one thing works for all children and again, an elite education can serve as an on-ramp for success in life--but it does not guarantee it nor is it the only way in.....

Cheers...
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