Young Homeschooling family move to NY or NJ? (Edison, Passaic: renting, condo)

[Mumof2]

I agree the crime rates are going up in Dallas now, but it is a perfect place for families. Children have so much when it comes to parks, large backyards, rec center (swimming pools) and much more. Home buying is a pleasure there, but even the prices of homes are going up now. The property taxes are also quite high. And the ants are terrible too. As long as I lived there (12 years), I witnessed no crime or tornadoes personally. Just saw it on the news like everybody else. I went to hospital at weird times of the night when my little ones had ear infections and all that, never felt alone. Plus the cops are everywhere, I was in an accident (auto )and called 911, he was there in less than 2 minutes. Thankyou for info about your friend. Right now, I am more into apartment hunting than HSing. I will get back to you when I am all settled. I am comfortable with the people and driving here now. I know that we can manage here with our income. Also the potential for education is tremendous here due to all the historical sites and museums. And the beach! I just need that little nest to settle down and calm my ruffled feathers.

Originally Posted by urahog

Hi. The crime rate for violent crime and even property crime in NYC are much
lower than other major cities. Dallas, for example is a murder capital. It is lower now than it has been in the past 35 years. I lived there from 78 to 92 and most of that was very dangerous. It is a different place now. It is a great city that will allow you more of every opportunity than you can imagine. I have a home schooling fan who is my friend and also a psychologist for the Board of Ed. If you want to talk to him let me know. He helps people all the time. They have a home schooling program. If you can live in upper Manhattan or the Bronx , or parts of Queens you will be a lucky person. There is a great deal of variety in education here. It is not the country but the parks are beautiful.

[Diane Giam]

Originally Posted by Mumof2

Pinnochio...Sounds soo yummy. Maybe tonight...hubby bought me a nice warm coat for $25 in WalMart yesterday and the boys got nice shoes, so I guess we are ready to go out again. I did not go to the zoo yesterday, was in no mood. Maybe this weekend with my Mr. Having two boys in a small room for 3 weeks is quite something. If somebody out there lives in Secaucus, please shed some light here. I don't want to face the maid here, she is soooooo ruuuuuuuuude!!! She is supposed to do full service, all she does is change towels, that too forgets half of it, and does a pathetic job of vaccum cleaning; and on top of it she has the guts to come and tell me that the room is too much work and too dirty. The first time I was very upset and gave her a tip and spoke sweetly to her because I thought she was doing me a favor. The next week even before stepping inside, she is like, it's too dirty... what the heck? Who keeps a room with children dirty? Won't we get infections? I use Lysol wipes on everything from the bathroom, to kitchen counter, to tables....and this lady just changes the sheets, replaces two towels, always forgets the floor mats, toilet paper, soap, does a lousy vaccuum job....isn't she paid for it? I looked her in the eye and told her firmly "You are too rude. You hurt my feelings. You talk very bad, I will complain about you." Until then she was talking fine to me complaining in English, the minute I said this to her, she is like all Spanish and asked me "do you want soap, do you want toilet paper?" She did not seem to understand a single word from my mouth. Today I just want to leave the room and not face her. She seems to hate my kids....she looks scornfully at them. I would not recommend this place to anybody because it is understaffed, no help when required, the room service is crap, and some wierd "I wonder what on earth is that bad smell" all the time from "I wonder where it's coming from." I have no option to get out of here because the company pays for it. My husband told me that every place in this area will have such "mystery smells" and even the homes and apartment will. I still cannot get over the shock of the expensive home I visited and how much work needs to be done on the house. It was virtually looking like a pig sty. The homes next to it looked so clean and splendid, but this one was pathetic. Anyway, I don't believe that the mystery smells are a part of NJ, maybe in some public places. On the brighter side, we like this place and the energy that comes with it. We like soo many people walking everywhere, in Big D we don't even know who our neigbors are. I came overprepared with my fangs and nails bearing to face the rude people of NJ, I relaxed and smiled when complete strangers helped us out in several places, incl. giving up their seats for my kids on the trains and busses. Good news is I lost about 5 pounds running behind busses and walking all over Manhattan, bad news is I gained back 3 pounds sitting in the hotel room and driving in the car.

Thankyou in advance for your help regarding apartments or townhomes for rent in Secaucus for under $1300. I prefer the townhome because I need garage space for storing bikes, skates, and more stuff that belongs to my little sweeties. Is Parlin or Millburn much closer to NY than Secaucus.
MUm.

Mum, Parlin is good. Sayerville is good also. If buying there it has the lowest taxes in NJ. My brother is cheap and decided on Sayerville. I'm sure you can find rents there that are satisfactory. Just stay out of the Winding Woods complex. I have read there have been murders there.
Did you check out where my son lives in Old Bridge? Or try East Brunswick which is closer to NYC. East Brunswick is where the travel agency I work for is, so I'm very familar with that area.

Diane

[Jen38]

Mumof2,
Try taking the train south to Metuchen or Hamilton -the stops before Trenton. Don't get off at Newark though! You will find nicer apartments and probably cheaper because it's farther away from the city. Is your husband opposed to a commute? Taking the train to and from can be his winding down time. Although, the ticket price may offset the apartment price. I like Central Jersey much more than North Jersey. You can get the "country" feel closer to those areas. If you take the train to Sloan Ave in Hamilton, you can take a taxi to a townhome/apartment complex called Fox Moore in Robbinsville. Nice and lots of kids. Many people work in NYC from this area. Also, Princeton jction is another good stop to see the West Windsor area - slightly more pricey though. Just for fun and beauty take a taxi to Nassau street in Princeton (Princeton University is there) and walk around. You will see a different kind of NJ. I lived there up to 1995 and commuted to NY for work. I really liked it.
I have also worked in Paramus, NJ and hated it compared to other parts of NJ.

Depending if your husband would get off at Penn Station or Grand Central (whichever is closer to his office) you could try Stamford, CT. For Ct. you would take the train from Grand Central - for NJ you would take it from Penn Station. Again, CT is pretty expensive but really pretty if you like the New England feel. I lived in Norwalk, CT for a while and commuted to NYC as well. Norwalk is cheaper than other parts of CT and not a bad commute.

You have a lot of options, you just have to check them all out. It's definitely tiresome for someone who doesn't know the area but if I were to move back to NY - I would live closer to the Robbinsville, Bordentown, Princeton areas or in CT up to Fairfield. But I love trees, sidewalks, great little shops and restaurants and lots of kids on their bikes! A mother with two boys, I need a lot of safe outside play areas!

Good Luck again!

[Jen38]

Just looked up Robbinsville on realtor.com to see if I was way off in rents.
Pull up REALTOR.com - Real Estate Listings & Homes For Sale - click on the "advanced search" right next to the big orange search square and scroll to the bottom to put in MLS numbers 5048889, and 5072647. There were only 4 rentals under the $1600 price range that I put in but it gives you an idea of what you can get out there. It's very safe. You can also click on rentals and put in any city you want to view before you venture out.

Also, rent a car and take the kids to Ocean City, NJ if you can get away for Labor Day weekend or just for the day. Beautiful beaches and a nice kid friendly boardwalk with mini golf, rides (which will cost you!) lots of candy and pizza! It also a dry town, no alcohol served on the island. The kids will want to come back again and again! Worth the drive!

There really are beautiful parts of NJ that people don't realize!
Have fun.

[Mumof2]

I already like the energy in this place. It is something we were missing back home. I need to take the kids to the beach. Jen38, I checked out the MLS listing you have provided, it is sooo cute. All that space and lush greenery. $1600 might be a tug on the budget but it might be well worth the visit. I am dying to see Princeton, wish I had my education from there..sigh..But my children..surely they would have a wonderful oppurtunity to go there. Let me see if I can visit those places too alongwith OldBridge provided by Diane. I will be looking into "my list" this weekend and the whole of next week. DH is stressed out a lot in the job and all his time is spent in commute. He is exhausted and wants to move out. On the other hand, his potential to make significantly more seems evident if he manages to stick on here. I told him his job is solely his decision. Maybe he is a good scape goat and people are willing to pay more for somebody as harmless, mild, and too good mannered like him...sometimes I wonder..(He has a cute chocolate lover boy innocent looks). He misses Dallas more than I do. I am ready to come here, cold, and tight budget and all.

Here are some strange things I heard. Most apartments in Edison are cockroach infested. The minute food is left outside overnight, it is a feast for the bugs. How true is that? Jersey city is flooded with illegal immigrants who cannot speak English, would not blend in, lots of dangerous people who even kidnap, and other ghastly gores enough to scare me away. These were told to me by an old lady who's lived in Jersey city all her life and works as a maid in Manhattan. I felt pity for her because she is almost 70 and she does maid service at this age. I have an immense fear toward cockroaches. The last time I saw dead one in someone's garage, I screamed and screamed even louder, jumped, ran all over and had a tornado effect. I am scared and that is how my reaction is to cockroaches. I am OK with anything else but roaches and rats drain my energy away. It's a horrible phobia I have toward these cittiers.

Harmon Cove might be affordable for us to buy if we can get something decent for under $350. Does anybody live there and can shed some light on Harmon Cove and also list the facilities provided for children. Is there a bike trial? I met someone who said that if I did some baby sitting, that would be enough money for us to afford this nice place in Harmon Cove, and the best part is all the features that come with it. How true is that. What would be my monthly pay if we did interest only and then, if took out our meager 401K, we can probably do 10% down. Is it all even worth it? I am wondering ..maybe.. if my DH can get some extra money in the next 6 months to one year, would it be a good idea to take this risk.

About my NJ adventures: As soon as I got on the highway yesterday, I was zooming at 70 when I saw a speed limit board for 25..geez. As I slowed down, people zipped past me at say, maybe 50. I also got a man to fill up gas for me..what a pleasure not to get off..and when I asked him about rentals, he said that he knew a place where I could rent immediately for an amount of 4. I looked at him in the eye and said 4 is beyond me, no way. He looked me back in the eye strangely and said that there is nothing availble for under $400 and that was the best he could help me with.

Good thing I did not have to get off the car, I thanked him and drove off in my cranky, cannot open the doors, stuck gear, fully dented Ford Taurus.

Last week when we were running behind the busses, the same car had looked so lavish and grand. I am grateful to have a car now rather than walking all the way and getting tired. My dear little babies were tired too.

Wonder what we'll do today. I need to find a dry cleaning place. After all that roaming around, I don't feel like handwashing and ironing all my DH's shirts. A dryclean trip would be a pleasure. We'll eat this weekend at Pinnochio..can't wait. We have eaten too much noodles, PBJ, and mac 'n cheese in the hotel and can use a good change.

Adieu.(? or Adios?)

[Jen38]

Hi Mum,
I'm sorrry, I didn't realize you were looking to rent for $350 per month. Unfortunately what you are finding - small, old, cockroaches - in those areas are what you are going to get for that price. This is where the NE gets you. If you want nice, family oriented, safe neighborhoods, you may have to pay more. This is why people live way over their means in the NE! I think you are smart trying to stay within your budget and if you can handle it for a year or two, rent something cheap to save to buy a house. DO NOT do an interest only loan. I have many friends who have/had those loans and are in trouble now. Two of which are going into foreclosure. If you have to do that loan, it's because you can't afford that house. Houses are not appreciating like they used to and you could actually end up upside down, owing more than the house is worth. If your husband has the potential to make more, then wait until you can get something you can afford with a regular mortgage. It may be a townhome and not a house but then in coming years you can have that as an investment property and buy a house for yourselves.
Making 90k, you're bringing home about $5k per month. If you are debt free, I would recommend spending more to live in a nice family friendly area. The commute stinks however if you have to come home to something dismal you/he will not be happy. Also, you will end up spending more money because you will want to get away on weekends and that costs money. Find a place that is within a reasonable budget that you feel safe and happy and can stay until you save enough to buy a house.
Also, NY is the land of opportunity. Your husband will probably make a lot of contacts over the next year and could potentially move to another company with much better compensation. 90K is low for NYC, make sure he networks over the next year and he should be able to make a significant jump. Also, NY is ruthless - that sweet, innocent, nice guy thing might need to toughen up a little to get what you want, deserve. You definitely need to show confidence - people will believe it. Remember, it's who you know not what you know! Network network network!
Also, moving to a more expensive area helps if you want to do in home babysitting. People have and will pay more money to have you watch their children. In those areas, a lot of moms have to go back to work because they bought enormous expensive houses. My sister in law pays $45 per day for someone to watch her child. That's an extra $900 per month for only watching one child! Take in two kids and that's some nice rent! Do some seriously thinking about where you want to live and what's best for your family in the long run.
Take care.

[Mumof2]

[quote=Jen38;1348943]Hi Mum,
I'm sorrry, I didn't realize you were looking to rent for $350 per month. Unfortunately what you are finding - small, old, cockroaches - in those areas are what you are going to get for that price.







Geez Jen38, I am willing to pay about $1300 per month for rent, not $340 or $400. I thought the guy said 4k every month, I did not realize that he meant $400 a month. I cannot afford $4000 a month.

Thankyou for telling me the truth about interest only loan. I am observing the slump in real estate market on TV.

This old lady I met in Jersey city in a store told me about the place and she said that even if I spent $1300 on an apt. in Edison, it would be cockroach infested. I am very scared of that. There is no way I would put my children in a place that is dangerous to them.

We are doing great in Dallas in a wonderful home in an awsome neighborhood. I would not sacrifice that for them. This guy in the petrol bunk shocked me. He was talking to me on his financial level and after coming back to the hotel I thought it was funny. If I can make $1800 a month baby sitting two children, then I don't have a problem renting the beautiful condo's you showed me. In case I can't watch kids, I am sure that we can still manage and enjoy it. I did not know I was sending the wrong message because of an incident I thought was funny.

As far as my DH and his job is concerned, he knows best. I do not want to involve in it as my plate is full of things that I need to accomplish. Besides caring for the children, I have exams to take, books to write, develop math instruction methods, do research for kids edu., finish my vegan recipe cook book for kids, save money and the list goes on.

Again, my budget for what i think is comfy for us is $1300 a month. I do not mind $1600 if that place is absolutely fab and my children can spend considerable time outdoors. We can find other creative ways to save money, and earn money too.

[Mumof2]

btw we have been smart and are able to plan through the existing credit card debt. Our credit score is excellent and ofcourse, I have the option of part time job. I want to be in a neighborhood where we can take in a couple of children. That is the reason I was inquiring about Harmon Cove.

[Mumof2]

Harmon Cove might be affordable for us to buy if we can get something decent for under $350. Does anybody live there and can shed some light on Harmon Cove and also list the facilities provided for children.


Aaawww.....now I realize, my bad, I am sorry. I meant $350,000; not $350. Then with a downpayment we could make payements of maybe $3000 a month. My question was if I am serious about babysitting, then is it worth the risk or should I be safe and rent an apartment or townhouse for $1300 or $1600 a month? That is my question and 350K is the price I was wondering about. Sorry.

[Jen38]

Oh thank goodness. You scared me a little with the $350 per month. I thought, geez if you're making 90k and can only pay $350 per month - we got problems!
I don't know that much about Edison, but for $1300 you shouldn't have roaches.
There are a lot of tucked away neighborhoods in NJ. Again, look in good school districts and you will find safer, family oriented areas. That may seem like a stereo type but I have moved 8 times in 12 years due to my husband's job and my experience is - the better the school district the better the area/people. I'm sure there are great people everywhere but in the lesser school districts you may have to look harder. I guess I'm lazy, I want it as soon as I move in! I know you are not using the schools but the people around you are and they may need a sitter for afterschool care until 6-6:30 when they get home. More $ opportunity for you. Watching children out here is a pretty lucrative part time/full time job. People pay $26,000 per year in daycare around me! Also, this woman that watches my sister in law's child also gets two weeks vacation pay! Another friend has a drop off service for stay at home moms to run errands etc.. She has a list of 8-10 moms who can call her to drop their children off for a couple of hours so they can get things done. She charges them $10-$15 per hour depending on how many children they have. Even stay at home moms around here pay for daytime sitters!

I'm always amazed at how many moms want to send their kids away to full day camps all summer or send their little ones to a sitter three times per week and they don't work! I'm not sure why they became stay at home moms. Maybe they are just busier than me! Who am I to judge? We all have issues and it their issues can put more money in your pocket, then it's all good, right?!
Have a good day! Have to go fold laundry so the kids can start school with clean clothes!
By the way, if you are taking the kids to Pinocchio, make an early reservation otherwise it will be very cramped. It's not big enough if the kids like to get out of their seats - seriously it may be the smallest restaurant you've ever been in. Everything's bigger in Texas right?