Young Homeschooling family move to NY or NJ? (Edison, Summit: rent, hotels)

[Diane Giam]

Before you sell anymore, make sure he wants to keep this Job. What kind of work does he do? Living in NJ is much more expensive than where you live.I know you will never be able to buy anything COMPARABLE. My house here in Nahville would cost over a Million in NJ and the taxes would be over $20,000. Here , I pay 3500, for a 4200sq foot all brick home. In NJ the house would only have a brick front.

Diane G

[EricaInNJ]

Oh Mumof2, I can empathize with you! I don't have much advice to offer, just a bit of understanding. I know how hard it is to be getting ready for a major change and then have to shift gears so suddenly. To do all that work-not to mention the shift of thinking needed to be open to a new place-and then be in a holding pattern. Uhg. So sorry you are going through that stress. I'd put the selling aside untill he makes a decision. Try to take it easy spend some time enoying your children. Things will become clearer with a little time.

We are going through something similar. My husband also works in NYC and HATES his job. The demanding fast pace, stressful commute, abusive boss and ineffective management is just sucking his soul.

Untill very recently, we were planning to relocate to Portland, OR. I was very excited and ready for the change, as I have lived in NJ all my 29 years. Housing was way cheaper, great community feeling, eco-concious, progressive and ecclectic with very interesting alternative schooling options, even in the PS system. Lots of homeschooling and homebirthing there too.

Anyway, I was all geared up to take the plunge, but he didn't get the job he interviewed for and all the other companies aren't willing to relocate someone. They want to hire freelancers for a couple weeks and then decide on offering a permanant position. So all my research on schools and neighborhoods have come to a screeching halt because we don't want to move cross country without secure employment.

I don't know what we are doing with our life either, if that gives you any comfort.

[Diane Giam]

Originally Posted by EricaInNJ

Oh Mumof2, I can empathize with you! I don't have much advice to offer, just a bit of understanding. I know how hard it is to be getting ready for a major change and then have to shift gears so suddenly. To do all that work-not to mention the shift of thinking needed to be open to a new place-and then be in a holding pattern. Uhg. So sorry you are going through that stress. I'd put the selling aside untill he makes a decision. Try to take it easy spend some time enoying your children. Things will become clearer with a little time.

We are going through something similar. My husband also works in NYC and HATES his job. The demanding fast pace, stressful commute, abusive boss and ineffective management is just sucking his soul.

Untill very recently, we were planning to relocate to Portland, OR. I was very excited and ready for the change, as I have lived in NJ all my 29 years. Housing was way cheaper, great community feeling, eco-concious, progressive and ecclectic with very interesting alternative schooling options, even in the PS system. Lots of homeschooling and homebirthing there too.

Anyway, I was all geared up to take the plunge, but he didn't get the job he interviewed for and all the other companies aren't willing to relocate someone. They want to hire freelancers for a couple weeks and then decide on offering a permanant position. So all my research on schools and neighborhoods have come to a screeching halt because we don't want to move cross country without secure employment.

I don't know what we are doing with our life either, if that gives you any comfort.

Erica, If you want something badly enough, it will eventially come, but may take time. We were supposed to be relocated a few years before we were with a company my husband worked for for 27 years, The relocation to Memphis fell thru and I need to thank God that it did because he changed Jobs at a much higher salary and received the relocation to Nashville, which is so much better. When he retires he will get 2 pensions.
As the Country song goes "Thank God for Unanswered Prayers" It means something better may be coming your way and that's a keeper.
Your time will come. Ours took 3 years, but we made it! I really love Nashville. I just celebrated my 1 year anniversary here. I do not miss NJ at all.

[Mumof2]

Thankyou you two for answering my post. My husband is worried about the way people behave there. We, in our personal relationship, are having some misunderstandings with each other now because everything seems to be out of control. He loves me and all that, but I am not feeling good after our conversation. I withdraw into a shell. I made it very clear to him that I do not want to move anymore. The stress is unbearable because of a severly bad back, and my recent bad time with my extended (not his) family. Jobs are not easy to find. My husband is in a tech job, its not what it used to be during the boom time. Property taxes here are not a divine dream, we pay $6000 for a 3000 sq ft house. All the time something or the other keeps happening; first the roof flew off; now the fence is down-- all the bad weather is taking its toll on the property, and to top it off the HOA keeps sending letters asking us to fix everything and make it look beautiful. The loneliness is not good, I do not discuss my stuff with my friends. I expect my husband to nurture a few very reasonable expectations; but I end up going back into a shell. He basically thinks that my problems are no big deal at all; only he is suffering. I agree that the time he spent home being jobless was not exactly fun; it was unreasonably unproductive and stressful. Now the people in NYC are so rude and none of the jobs ever get done. Then the boss fights and they are all so nasty. Atleast here the collegues are respectful. I understand my huband's health and nature. He is very hardworking. But what can I do? I need a few minutes of "his understanding my feelings and say things that soothe me" so I can smile in the morning and go on like nothing is happening. I am not talking about any move fromthis morning because he said "2 weeks". I pulled all the advertisements and asked people not to show up for sometime. But the house is such a disaster, just looking at it stresses me out and makes my back hurt.

Anyway, I am cleaning up a little bit at a time. I try not to think of anything, particularly the dreaded move. I just want to sound normal and make my husband feel that everything is fine, I don't want to burden him. Atleast I am able to vent my load here, and your replies are soooo comforting; may you all be blessed with bountiful happiness. He does not even have this outlet; so let me go back to my little world with an unburdened heart. Hope it lasts a little longer this time. Good night for now.

[Diane Giam]

Originally Posted by Mumof2

Thankyou you two for answering my post. My husband is worried about the way people behave there. We, in our personal relationship, are having some misunderstandings with each other now because everything seems to be out of control. He loves me and all that, but I am not feeling good after our conversation. I withdraw into a shell. I made it very clear to him that I do not want to move anymore. The stress is unbearable because of a severly bad back, and my recent bad time with my extended (not his) family. Jobs are not easy to find. My husband is in a tech job, its not what it used to be during the boom time. Property taxes here are not a divine dream, we pay $6000 for a 3000 sq ft house. All the time something or the other keeps happening; first the roof flew off; now the fence is down-- all the bad weather is taking its toll on the property, and to top it off the HOA keeps sending letters asking us to fix everything and make it look beautiful. The loneliness is not good, I do not discuss my stuff with my friends. I expect my husband to nurture a few very reasonable expectations; but I end up going back into a shell. He basically thinks that my problems are no big deal at all; only he is suffering. I agree that the time he spent home being jobless was not exactly fun; it was unreasonably unproductive and stressful. Now the people in NYC are so rude and none of the jobs ever get done. Then the boss fights and they are all so nasty. Atleast here the collegues are respectful. I understand my huband's health and nature. He is very hardworking. But what can I do? I need a few minutes of "his understanding my feelings and say things that soothe me" so I can smile in the morning and go on like nothing is happening. I am not talking about any move fromthis morning because he said "2 weeks". I pulled all the advertisements and asked people not to show up for sometime. But the house is such a disaster, just looking at it stresses me out and makes my back hurt.

Anyway, I am cleaning up a little bit at a time. I try not to think of anything, particularly the dreaded move. I just want to sound normal and make my husband feel that everything is fine, I don't want to burden him. Atleast I am able to vent my load here, and your replies are soooo comforting; may you all be blessed with bountiful happiness. He does not even have this outlet; so let me go back to my little world with an unburdened heart. Hope it lasts a little longer this time. Good night for now.

A suggestion would be to sell the house but rent where you are going. It sounds like you may have to move anyway for employment reasons. Since you are home schooling schools don't matter so much.
My son lives in a safe area in Old Bridge . Rents are not terible there, we looked all around for his apartment. They do have a pool and a childrens play are. Rent includesHeat and cooking gas.
35 Osage Drive
Old Bridge, NJ 08857
732-360-1230
He pays $900 for a 1 bedroom, You want an upstairs apartment in that complex. Some have private entrances, some 2 to a building. The complex does have a pool, its close to shopping. I'm a Travel Agent and the agency I work for is on Rt 18, East Brunswick which you might also want to consider.
I work from home, so I kept my job even when I moved. In that industry all you need is a phone, computer, and a fax machine.
Diane G

[Mumof2]

I'll send these details to my husband. He has a couple of collegues that are planning to bring their family (just wives; newly wed) and they all want to share an apartment. And we need an apartment if my husband makes up his mind in two weeks. I am not ready to sell this house: 1) sentimental reasons, 2) I will lose money by selling it at this point of time, 3) This is the only security I have, the only place that is mine and for my precious children. These "bachelors" are all put up in a hotel room with a small kitchen and basically the other two guys are feeding my otherwise starving husband who keeps missing his lunch. Unfortunately; there are no shops nearby for a quick frozen dinner too. He is coming this Wed at midnight and I am going to make and freeze enough food for my husband to share with his generous friends. I remember you mentioning that a two bed apartment in that place is around $1100; that would be perfect for us and also my husbands's collegues and their families. The other "bachelors" are going apartment hunting this weekend while my husband is here. This address may save them time and money. If they give my husband a good feedback, that would be enough for him to make up his mind. As you know this place and your son stays there; that is enough for me to make the move. However; I would appreciate a few pics. of the exterior as well as interiors of the apt., so I know what we will be moving into. Yours is an interesting job. Let me know if you have any openings, I would certainly want some extra green. The best part is working from home, and I am a hard working person. I have tried in several places, but have'nt found such a job yet. With all the piled up debt...oooh boy.
Anyways, the boys and I just returned from our %0 cents movie and we enjoyed it soo much. We saw Ice Age Part I. I got some groceries on the way home and I am going to take a deep breath and conquer the kitchen nightmare. Wish me luck!! Thankyou Diane for the all help you have offered me.

[Diane Giam]

Originally Posted by Mumof2

I'll send these details to my husband. He has a couple of collegues that are planning to bring their family (just wives; newly wed) and they all want to share an apartment. And we need an apartment if my husband makes up his mind in two weeks. I am not ready to sell this house: 1) sentimental reasons, 2) I will lose money by selling it at this point of time, 3) This is the only security I have, the only place that is mine and for my precious children. These "bachelors" are all put up in a hotel room with a small kitchen and basically the other two guys are feeding my otherwise starving husband who keeps missing his lunch. Unfortunately; there are no shops nearby for a quick frozen dinner too. He is coming this Wed at midnight and I am going to make and freeze enough food for my husband to share with his generous friends. I remember you mentioning that a two bed apartment in that place is around $1100; that would be perfect for us and also my husbands's collegues and their families. The other "bachelors" are going apartment hunting this weekend while my husband is here. This address may save them time and money. If they give my husband a good feedback, that would be enough for him to make up his mind. As you know this place and your son stays there; that is enough for me to make the move. However; I would appreciate a few pics. of the exterior as well as interiors of the apt., so I know what we will be moving into. Yours is an interesting job. Let me know if you have any openings, I would certainly want some extra green. The best part is working from home, and I am a hard working person. I have tried in several places, but have'nt found such a job yet. With all the piled up debt...oooh boy.
Anyways, the boys and I just returned from our %0 cents movie and we enjoyed it soo much. We saw Ice Age Part I. I got some groceries on the way home and I am going to take a deep breath and conquer the kitchen nightmare. Wish me luck!! Thankyou Diane for the all help you have offered me.

My boss is always hiring but its commission only and you must get your own customers. You can apply on line @http://www.galaxseaeb.com/
It's on Rt 18 in East Brunswick, NJ
The Apt complex must be called during the weelk because unfortunatly the office is closed on weekends like many others in NJ.
The Apartments have cental air but you must pay for electric like most in NJ.
Diane G

[Mumof2]

Thankyou, thankyou, Diane. Better get those guys to call and make an appt. to visit this place.

[LauraPetrie]

Mumof2, Are you an Indian ? well I am too and my situation is similar to yours except that we are moving to NJ this weekend and I am really worried about finding a good apartment there . I have a 3 yr old kid and I am anxious about moving into a safe neighbourhood from where my husband can travel to NY to work everyday.. Please let me know too if you find any good place to rent. we are looking for an apartment with a max rent of 1200$. please help ...

[Mumof2]

Hey,

Write to me offline at pramukh00@yahoo.com. We are still hanging in there, I've no idea if I will be moving, if not now, then When??? It's tough to be like this. I can help you by giving you some info that was given to me by the nice helpful people on city-data.