Young Homeschooling family move to NY or NJ? (Newark, Jersey City: real estate market, apartment)

[Mumof2]

My husband got a job in Manhatten ($90,000) this month. After being jobless for a frustrating few months, he has no choice than accept this. I homeschool my two children(under 10) here in Dallas and we have a nice house and a lot of friends. My husband's new company wants us to relocate and will not pay for his monthly commute to Dallas anymore. He wants me to sell everything and move there as quickly as possible. I have never been to NY/NJ. What should I expect? As I have no choice, but move; I need advice as to where I should move, NY or NJ? Where do we stay so my husband can commute easily? I heard it is too expensive there, is it possible for me to earn money by baby sitting to supplement our income? How are the homeschooling policies there? I plan to sell everything, I can't get rid of the car (lease) to start a new life there. The relocation package is pathetic. We have no other choice but move.(sell everything)...please help. I do not want my children to suffer because I have no clue as to what we are getting into. I am particular about a neighborhood where my children can safely ride a bike, go to the park, and I can go out for a walk with my kids after dinner without being worried about all the frightful gangster/mugging/drugaddict stories we have been hearing from some people.

Thankyou in advance for all your help. I am a little scared thinking about the move.

[Diane Giam]

Originally Posted by Mumof2

My husband got a job in Manhatten ($90,000) this month. After being jobless for a frustrating few months, he has no choice than accept this. I homeschool my two children(under 10) here in Dallas and we have a nice house and a lot of friends. My husband's new company wants us to relocate and will not pay for his monthly commute to Dallas anymore. He wants me to sell everything and move there as quickly as possible. I have never been to NY/NJ. What should I expect? As I have no choice, but move; I need advice as to where I should move, NY or NJ? Where do we stay so my husband can commute easily? I heard it is too expensive there, is it possible for me to earn money by baby sitting to supplement our income? How are the homeschooling policies there? I plan to sell everything, I can't get rid of the car (lease) to start a new life there. The relocation package is pathetic. We have no other choice but move.(sell everything)...please help. I do not want my children to suffer because I have no clue as to what we are getting into. I am particular about a neighborhood where my children can safely ride a bike, go to the park, and I can go out for a walk with my kids after dinner without being worried about all the frightful gangster/mugging/drugaddict stories we have been hearing from some people.

Thankyou in advance for all your help. I am a little scared thinking about the move.

If you want to move to a safe area, you need to live outside of NYC, such as Suburban NJ or Long Island. You are going to experience a Culture shock when you see the real estate taxes in either place. Be careful on that because I know where I used to live in Manalapan, NJ there is a major tax increase since I moved last year. The good news for you is that the Real Estate market in NY and NJ has declined in price. There are some really safe areas.It's not all you here, but don't move in Brooklyn, Queens, Bronx, or any of the 5 boros. It's the city and nothing like Dallas. I know because my sister-in-law is from Dallas, but they relocated a long time ago to Tampa, Florida.
If you work in NYC he will have to comute. You canot live in NYC, for that salary in a nice area.You can in Long Island or NJ. In NJ maybe Middletown would work for you as its close to the shore and there are comutter trains to NYC. You are better off being by a train than a bus. A bus to NYC can take hours coming home because of traffic.
In NY, my suggestion would be Babylon, North Babylon, West Islip as they are nearthe Babylon train station.You don't want to drive a long distance to get there. It's an hour commute into NYC , on the Long Island Railroad. They are all safe areas and near the beach. I did not suggest Nassau County because of the real Estate tax structure. My sister in Baldwin pays $9000 a year and its a 2000sq foot house. Don't expect to get what you have in Dallas because Real Estate is pricy in NY and NJ
My La Leche League in Babylon had children that were home schooled, so I know its done there. I moved to NJ when my daughter was 3.
Another Area you might want to consider is Ronkonkma(sp) LI . It's in Eastern LI but the train makes it to NYC in an hour. Housing , Taxes there cost less.
Nearby Holbrook is also good. This is about 50 miles from NYC but has a fast comuter train. Anything there Pt Jefferson will be to far because its a 2 hour commute each way.
If you have any Questions feel free to email me at iv18@aol.com

Last Year my husband took a transfer to Nashville, TN and this is where I will stay, retire, etc. I love it here.
Good Luck!

[JerseyBrit]

Suburban NJ is a good bet. Prepare to downsize, however.
My local La Leche League group had a homeschooling mum and I believe she is involved in a network of homeschooling mums through her church. The holistic Moms Network Holistic Moms Network would have good resources on homeschooling too. I don't think you'll have trouble in that department.

Nice commuting towns are Fanwood, Scotch Plains, Westfield, Summit, New Providence, Berkeley Heights, Chatham etc. Great areas, but not cheap- but doable with $90,000 and equity.

Most communities have family events throughout the year and it's a great way to meet people in your town as most the same people attend them.
People here are generally very nice

When will you be arriving in NJ?
Good Luck...

[Cat05]

Jersey!

Home schooling policies in NY are very strict. See a summary here:
HSLDA | Home School Laws

In contrast, NJ home schoolers simply "Must provide instruction academically equivalent to that in public schools."
HSLDA | Home School Laws

As for where to live, parts of Hoboken and Jersey City would more or less match your description (unless you want an actual house), and you can't beat the commute. There are a bunch of HSers in JC, and 2 in Hoboken that I know of (me and another woman). But there are also nicer areas farther from NYC, and HS groups supposedly in more north central areas.

As for what you should expect:
Small living spaces with small yards, if any. Filtering your water and not growing anything for human consumption in your yard (at least not if you live in Hoboken!) Crowding. Governmental corruption (NJ has real problems with that). Problems with aging and overtaxed infrastructure. Probably more crime than you are used to. Great museums, concerts, plays, zoos, etc. A lot of very nice people, and some not so nice. Parks. Things being walking distance. Probably the same level of class and racial tension you'd get in any urban area. Lots of educational opportunities.

Good luck!

[Lepke]

There are many lovely safe towns in New Jersey that are within a reasonable commute to NYC. There is even a high-speed ferry from sandy hook that gets you to Manhattan in about a half hour.

As with most states in the union there are ample recourses for parents who choose to home school.

But keep in mind that you are moving to a new place and your children will have no friends. I can understand why you would wish to keep your kids out of the public school system even though we have some of the finest school in the nation here, they don’t share your values. You could opt for a church run school (we have that here).

You obviously want the best for your children that is why you home school but you are moving to a place where you know no one, no family, no friends and no social support system.
Please reconsider turning your children into lonely social outcastes.

[Dolfan]

Mumof2:

You will be much better off homeschooling and living in New Jersey. The homeschooling laws here are much better (among the best in the nation) and there are organizations you can be involved in that will connect you with other homeschoolers.

Here is a link to NJ court decisions

New Jersey Department of Education

Here is the Legal Defense Association website

Homeschooling in New Jersey

Here is a list of homeschool organizations

Homeschool World: New Jersey Homeschool Organizations and Support Groups

I am planning on homeschooling my daughter as well. I think you are doing a wonderful thing homeschooling your children and hope you have much success with it. I live in Sussex County, which is a great place to live, but would be a long commute to Manhattan. There are some closer towns that are nice. Morris County is a beautiful area, but expensive. You can also try Bergen, Passaic or Essex counties, but stay away from the larger cities as there are some bad areas. NJ transit operates many trains and buses into New York so the commute will not be so bad.

Here is an idea of housing costs, the multiple listing service web site

http://new.gsmls.com/public/

Also check out the NJ tourism web site

New Jersey Tourism

Finally, here are some fun things you can do with your kids.

New Jersey Index -- Are We There Yet?

Good luck with your move and I hope everything turns out fine.

[bebitaperu]

you will be much better in suburban NJ. you can live in Bergen county . There are plenty of nice towns and check NJtransit.com
good luck
BP

[ottomobeale]

1st take a deep breath. Been there done that.

Your situation is STARTLINGLY similar to mine. I got laid off March 15 of this year. I was put in touch with a recruiter who knew of my current position. He asked if I was interested in a job in New Jersey. I am like. “Yea right”. Yet here I am. An Ohio boy by way of Florida now in New Jersey. My current employer ate 4/5 of the relo though so that helped me.

Random notes:

1) If you can hold off till fall, Penske trucks and regular movers generally charge less. Consider not selling EVERYTHING. De bulk for sure though and don’t move crap.
2) Moving companies are cheaper mid month than beginning and end.
3) Believe it or not. I like New Jersey. No, I am not insane. Part of the reason I like it is I avoided the parts I strongly dislike. I didn’t like Newark 10 years ago when I lived in Ohio and had been there several times. I like it even less now that I have to deal with Newark Airport, which is better than the 2 airports in NYC. Thusly I didn’t move to any place that looked remotely like Newark. .NJ has LOTS of parks. Some thousands of acres big with lots of trails.
4) NYC metro is pretty much a direct trade of commute time for money. Further out is generally cheaper. See my recent post history describing some specific cities and how you trade distance for house price. Forget 20 minute commutes unless you are stupid rich. 90K is very doable but you are going to have to think smaller in the house department. 200K house in Dallas is nice. 200K house in NJ means your neighbor’s house is on fire and/or owned by a felon.
5) The drivers here are aggressive as heck. If you let it bother you, you will have a stroke in a month. Deal with it.
6) Morris County. Much is nice, safe and has some areas that are “affordable” in the NJ sense of the word at the Western End past I287.
7) The people are less open than other parts of the country. The closer to NYC the more true this is.
8) I don’t find NJ income tax to be all that high on my similar but somewhat lower than you income. NJ does have a special punish the rich rate. I hope to have that problem some day. I paid more income taxes in OH.
9) Property taxes are high. Figure absolute minimum of $3600 and a more likely rate of $5000 for a 300K house.
10) Part time jobs in Eastern 2/3 of NJ pay much more than I am accustomed to seeing. The do nothing temp was making like $11.00 an hour. It costs more here… You GET PAID MORE HERE.
11) I looked for a house and found some areas I really liked. One neighborhood had a great feel to it is in Rockaway called White Meadow Lakes. Another was in Denville Called Mt. Uh… somethingoranother. If you need a realtor I found one I like. I am not him. I get nothing for the recommendation. Just an honest hard working guy who was the first to not BS me hardcore / hardsell me when I went through open houses. In the end I ended up renting for a year due to cash flow.
12) Groceries cost much more: Shop Rite is your friend. I don’t have stock in nor work do I for them. Just a recommendation. Their produce sucks tho.

[Lepke]

I can understand why a parent would prefer to home school in a place where your only choice is the public school system. But I don’t get why you would home school in an area with private/parochial schools that share your values.

As important as education is socialization and learning to get along with other people in the greater society.

I have a four year old who spent this past year in the local public pre-school, and while they seem to do a good job, the school system does not share my values (some teachers may but the board of education does not). I would not deny my son the friends he has and will make in school and the activities offered. So I’ll be sending him to a religious school that shares “my values”. He will make what could be lifelong friends and get an excellent education, he will also learn social skills.

Who will your children invite to their birthday parties? Who will they play with?
Do you really want your children to live a life of social isolation? Do you feel that will prepare then to live in the outside world?

This is not Montana or Idaho it’s New Jersey.

The only reason I can think of to home school in a place where other options beside the public schools are available would be in the case where the parents ideology is so radical (Nazi, Ku Klux Klan, Christian identity) that no school would teach it

[Mumof2]

Let me start with a fact, Homeschooling does not mean zero socialization; in fact it is the total opposite of it from my own personal experience.
I am homeschooling because I was frustrated what Private schools (M and PR--I wonder these schools would sue me if I mentioned the names, guess by its firstname)had to offer for my children(My personal experience). I waited for the Public School to start, that was an even bigger disappointment. I asked a lot of questions regarding nutrition, curriculum, homework and more. What I did was walk in unannounced and catch the teachers by surprise. I found out that sometimes the lunch was not good, infact it was almost inedible at times (There was this flour tortilla with cheese slice in it, and it had become like rubber). There was never a time I saw fresh fruit served, always canned peaches. Some children were rudely spoken to by teachers because they had to go potty in the middle of some activity and not in a particular assigned time. After patiently waiting through all that, I was excited about PS. I volunteered almost everyday there for about four hours. A lot of time was spent in waiting. Sadly this is the truth about PS. I decided to give HS a try this Feb and pulled my son out. I discovered a wonderful HS community and we had so many social events that were focussed on education and fun. We have international studies every month, Madscience classes at a steep discount, Free swim classes, being a Montessori teacher myself, I do the preschool club for free every Monday for a couple of hours. My kids eat nutritious hot meals, nice snacks, and take breaks frequently. Now my son who just turned 7 is reading at 7th grade level. I had time to take him to handwriting workshops, mental math classes and more. Then there was parties, baby showers, birthdays, movie nights, the list is endless. we are tired of all the over socializing. We are far away from KuKlux and other racist stuff (I am an Asian myself). I have started to study for Diploma's in daycare and child psychology.

I have no clue what NJ means. All I know is hearing all kinds of stories and the high prices. I want to be totally involved with my children until they tell me that they are ready to go to PS. I have no problem. I have raised them to be independent decision makers. We have seen it all, and with my little one, I have worked in a church school as his teacher. There was no structure or curriculum, just grazing the kids like sheep. The admionistration loved the ideas I had and encouraged me to ahead and work with each child. When I homeschool my kids in NJ, I plan to get into a similar group. If it does not exist, then I will have to create one. To supplement the income, I may baby sit a couple of other children, so my children can have some daily socialization. We are simply used to Texas size homes and I am wondering about the apartment sizes there. It would be a relief to have all that time if my children opted to go to a PS. But they grow up in no time, so let me just be and enjoy them, even if it means struggling on one income and no savings.

It is true that there is no family, no friends, no familiar faces, and my husband gets grilled like a hot dog at his job everyday. He curses his commute and is worried about retirement for us, education for kids, and his own aging parents. All with 90K. Wonder what the taxes are like. It is sad that I have to let go of all that is dear here and venture into an unknown place with no clue as to what we are getting into. But that is what a family does, stick together through thick and thin. There are more sacrifices in a love and family than rewards. But that one little hug by those tiny arms, the smile on a tired hubby's face at the sight of me is all the rewards I could ask for. I can keep on lamenting forever, So I better stop. Thankyouall folks for all the advice you have given me. I will be watching out for more. I will be there in about a month, and will probably stay in the dingy hotel room Hubby's put up in, until I can find an apartment (He does not have time and energy).

Thankyou Once More You All.

Originally Posted by Lepke

I can understand why a parent would prefer to home school in a place where your only choice is the public school system. But I don’t get why you would home school in an area with private/parochial schools that share your values.

As important as education is socialization and learning to get along with other people in the greater society.

I have a four year old who spent this past year in the local public pre-school, and while they seem to do a good job, the school system does not share my values (some teachers may but the board of education does not). I would not deny my son the friends he has and will make in school and the activities offered. So I’ll be sending him to a religious school that shares “my values”. He will make what could be lifelong friends and get an excellent education, he will also learn social skills.

Who will your children invite to their birthday parties? Who will they play with?
Do you really want your children to live a life of social isolation? Do you feel that will prepare then to live in the outside world?

This is not Montana or Idaho it’s New Jersey.

The only reason I can think of to home school in a place where other options beside the public schools are available would be in the case where the parents ideology is so radical (Nazi, Ku Klux Klan, Christian identity) that no school would teach it