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Oh I understand completely. I owned a co-op and was next to a guy who smoked cigars non-stop. The smell was horrible. Did I freak out and complain? NO. Smoking was allowed in the complex and he was within his right to do so. I knew that it was a smoking building when I bought it. My problem, not his.
I also lived in an apartment building where one person on my floor was always cooking fish. The smell of any seafood nauseates me. It was terrible but who the hell am I to tell anyone what they can and cannot eat?
Don't tell me I have no business commenting on the OP - I'm getting a little sick and tired of you dictating what everyone else can say or do. And FWIW you have no business commenting on what a smoker feels/needs since you have never smoked. These posts of yours are so hypocritical and you fail to see it.
So you tell me you enjoy suffering in silence. OK.
Why don't you speak up when you are aggrieved? You don't feel your situation both times was the least bit unfair to you?
My last paragraph was not addressed to you. Read it again.
Though I'd love for smokers to comment as I need to understand them better.
See? I am trying.
One of my friends bought two units on the upper east side in one of those luxury buildings and combined them (talk about plucking down money). Only to find out down the line that her neighbor who enjoys curry turned out be a major downside to ownership in that building.
You are upset about your $150K. Imagine if you had spent $4M to buy and do work!
It isn't a matter of socio-demographics, how cheap or how expensive the property is, whether you own or rent. If it's a building, you got neighbors. And if you do, don't do anything to bother your neighbors.
You don't get it.
This has nothing to do with how cheap or how expensive the property is. No one said it did. The distinction I was making is the difference between someone who RENTS in a CONDO BUILDING, and someone who OWNS in that building (MINIMUM guesstimate of $150,000 for a condo unit in most of NJ). An OWNER in that building OWNS a piece of that building, has a stake in that building, and gets to vote on elections, the budget (How much money should be spent on window washing? How much money should be spent on landscaping? Should we use the surplus in the budget to replace the washers and dryers, or should we use it to put a chandelier in the lobby?), and the bylaws (Will it be a non smoking building? Will it be a pet free building? Will it be a pet free building, but allow cats? Will it be a 55+ retirement community? Should we ban wind chimes as a noise nuisance? Should we ban people from having picnics on the common grounds?).
As a RENTER, you don't get a say in any of that. If you want to have a say, you can buy a piece of that building and become an owner, run for membership on the board and/or start a campaign to amend the bylaws to ban smoking (and anything else you want written in stone like "Curry Free Building" or "Tap Shoes and Stiletto Free Building).
This has nothing to do with how cheap or how expensive the property is. No one said it did. The distinction I was making is the difference between someone who RENTS in a CONDO BUILDING, and someone who OWNS in that building (MINIMUM guesstimate of $150,000 for a condo unit in most of NJ). An OWNER in that building OWNS a piece of that building, has a stake in that building, and gets to vote on elections, the budget (How much money should be spent on window washing? How much money should be spent on landscaping? Should we use the surplus in the budget to replace the washers and dryers, or should we use it to put a chandelier in the lobby?), and the bylaws (Will it be a non smoking building? Will it be a pet free building? Will it be a pet free building, but allow cats? Will it be a 55+ retirement community? Should we ban wind chimes as a noise nuisance? Should we ban people from having picnics on the common grounds?).
As a RENTER, you don't get a say in any of that. If you want to have a say, you can buy a piece of that building and become an owner, run for membership on the board and/or start a campaign to amend the bylaws to ban smoking (and anything else you want written in stone like "Curry Free Building" or "Tap Shoes and Stiletto Free Building).
Indeed. This bizu poster is just a renter. Zero say. People like bizu is why tort reform needs to be passed too.
Yes, it would have. But I have never found another "me" anywhere/ anytime. All I got was defensive and sometimes aggressive reactions. I am a little blaze when it comes to that method...
Wow, it must be rough going through life as the ONLY reasonable person on the face of the earth.
Yeah, that's right, because until you are forced to, you won't do the right thing.
I propose that even if buildings where smoking is not prohibited, that smokers when approached by their neighbors to be made aware that their smoke is sipping into another unit, take that into account and stop to think that they are causing a nuisance to a perfect stranger through no fault of that person.
Though I'd love for smokers to comment as I need to understand them better.
There's nothing you need to understand about smokers.
There are places where they have a right to smoke, and there are places where they do not have a right to smoke.
An example of a place where they DO have the right to smoke is in their own homes that they OWN, in a condo building that does NOT stipulate 'NO SMOKING' in their bylaws.
Would you move to a building that allows dogs, complain about the barking and the dog crap on the sidewalks, and then try to get dogs banned?
Would you move to a NO PETS building and then complain that they want to kick you out for having a dog?
Would you try to make a 55+ year-old community change to allow all ages, simply because you fell in love with the location, the floor plans and the size of the units in that community?
Again, you are not tied down to that building, so you have the freedom to move whenever your lease expires. It would be a different story for someone like the OP way back on the first page of this thread, or for you friends on the Upper East Side, who all OWN their units. Those people are stuck. Or, they have the monumental task of trying to amend the bylaws to include a smoking clause in the fine print regarding nuisances and 'Quiet Enjoyment'. (And they would have to try to get a majority of the other owners in that building on board with that amendment...including the smokers who have no complaints from anyone.) OR, they have to take a loss in order to sell their property to buy somewhere else (money & time spent staging/showing their property, money spent on realtor and attorney fees, money spent on fixing whatever issues come up during inspection, money spent on hiring an inspector for the property they intend on purchasing, etc. etc.).
As a renter, you can pick up and move whenever your lease is up, without having to deal with any of those hassles.
Yeah, that's right, because until you are forced to, you won't do the right thing.
I propose that even if buildings where smoking is not prohibited, that smokers when approached by their neighbors to be made aware that their smoke is sipping into another unit, take that into account and stop to think that they are causing a nuisance to a perfect stranger through no fault of that person.
What a novel idea!
Not everyone lives in a world where someone named bizu gets to decide what "the right thing" is.
Your neighbors may simply not believe you. Just from what we know on here, you are a class A number 1 complainer, and probably not just about smoking, but about other things. Things that other people would just shrug off you grab onto like a dog who won't let go of a bone. I am 55 years old and never in my life have I ever heard anyone discuss the possibility that cooking friggin' onions could be considered unneighborly behavior.
You want the world to change to accommodate you. It doesn't work that way, and until you learn that you have to give and take with your fellow humans, you will be frustrated and indignant at the world forever. But maybe that's your schtick, what you enjoy, the way you choose to live. I suspect so.
Quite frankly, it's highly likely that your neighbors simply don't like you at this point.
What you wrote: could you address the crowd which thinks I am free I can do whatever the hell I want?
I am starting to think the people opposing my views were never inconvenienced in their own home and therefore are unable to relate. Then what business do they have commenting on the OP? They don't understand!
nope. i'm not getting sucked into your drama. at this point, i want to move next door to you and START SMOKING just to **** you off.
It's funny, but after a number of posts, you get a physical vision of what a poster looks like and how they present to the world, as well as other metaphysical traits. I propose the following:
Female
5'2"
62 years old
Thin
Scrunchy face with a bit of a permascowl
Very little money
Frustrated at her lot in life, perhaps some dreams that didn't get there.
Very single.
Bizu, I am a poker player and I am paid quite well to be accurate at reading people giving limited information. Please confirm that the above is correct.
So you tell me you enjoy suffering in silence. OK.
Why don't you speak up when you are aggrieved? You don't feel your situation both times was the least bit unfair to you?
You make a lot of ill informed assumptions about people. Why do you assume when someone realizes that there is a situation they are unhappy with but have no control over they are suffering if they don't start bitching about the situation that they really have no right to complain about? Why would I complain when I also smoked (just not cigars), it was perfectly legal to do so and he was there long before I was? I was proactive instead of behaving like a whiny person who felt I was entitled to have everyone around me act as I want them to. I went out a purchased a large HEPA air purifier with a carbon pre-filter and that solved my problem. It would probably solve yours too but you are not taking anyone's advice as to how to remedy the situation. You just want to complain so who is really suffering here when you have alternatives? Go out and get some air neutralizers and a HEPA filter already and STOP complaining about something you actually do have a solution for.
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