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Old 12-22-2011, 08:36 AM
 
Location: NJ
11,698 posts, read 21,498,179 times
Reputation: 4487

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Quote:
Originally Posted by soug View Post
??? This thread went downhill.
i'm not sure this thread was ever "uphill" to go downhill.
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Old 12-22-2011, 08:45 AM
 
501 posts, read 696,917 times
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If I had people living next door who ran out of their houses to stare at me, I'd get a camcorder or just a plain camara then I'd go right up to the property line and start recording THEM. I wouldn't back off until they were intimidated enough to scurry back into their house. I would do this everytime they pulled this staring act and document times and dates. If they don't pick up on the fact that their incessent staring could be considered harrassment and it didn't stop, I would bring the tape or pics right down to the police station, explain the situation to the cops and let the cops go to their house and have a little chat with them. If that didn't work, I'd press harrassment charges against them.

I've met some really nice Indians but have also met some real nasty and arrogant ones too. There are two Indian families in my neighborhood and the wives never return a wave but just stare also. I personally don't care about their "culture". They are in New Jersey now, time for them to learn about OUR culture.
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Old 12-22-2011, 10:23 AM
 
1,922 posts, read 1,755,540 times
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As an Indian, seeing this thread has been an eyeopener for me. I grew up in South Jersey in a town with a pretty diverse population, including Indians. There's little to no conflict there of the type I'm reading on this thread. Up in Central Jersey, where there is a gigantic Indian population, is the conflict & anger I'm reading about here much more prevalent? It would make sense - two large racial/cultural groups living together in the same area is bound to cause problems, even in the 21st Century. I can't even imagine what it would've been like to go to say, JP Stevens High School, for instance. And I didn't even know about this "staring" thing beyond what I've already said.
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Old 12-22-2011, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Northern Jersey
21 posts, read 36,134 times
Reputation: 26
Don't dread the Indian stare, it's probably to do more with an ingrained 'national habit' at a subconscious level than an intention to out-stare a foreigner with meanness. If you smile and wave 'Hi', they may snap out of the stupor right then or be more social at the next opportunity. A smile can cure anything.
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Old 12-22-2011, 11:21 AM
 
366 posts, read 349,071 times
Reputation: 449
Default Maybe it's because...

Quote:
Originally Posted by carriecarrio View Post
I live in Iselin and my next door neighbors come outside their house every time I pull into my drive way or hang outside in the front of the house, or go take garbage outside... you get the idea. The thing is that they look at me and continue staring at me, even after I say 'hi', they do not have intentions of starting a conversation or whatsoever, they just stare at me and my husband nonstop. In some cultures this could be considered rude, but I am not sure if it's something that Indian people do or is part of their culture. I am not trying to be judgemental, I am just trying to understand their culture. I am already accostumed to their "staring" habits, but sometimes it can make me uncomfortable...
...you look a little strange; like...http://cdn.screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/alien_from_the_movie.jpg (broken link)
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Old 12-22-2011, 11:28 AM
 
3 posts, read 3,256 times
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I really don't have too many problems with my Indian neighbors however I realize they'll never invite me in for a cup of coffee. I notice most Indians keep to themselves and very few make an effort to get to know other races. On this site it's the same thing, 'indian family looking for Indian neighborhoods'. You never see Indian family looking for 'diverse' neighborhood. I live in a neighborhood where Indians are becoming the majority which is okay however I get the feeling Im not wanted in their neighborhoods. It's fine to come to America and live in a state like NJ and earn a living but how about learning more than how strong a school system is and where to buy the latest new construction.
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Old 12-22-2011, 01:01 PM
 
49 posts, read 93,644 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soug View Post
As an Indian, seeing this thread has been an eyeopener for me. I grew up in South Jersey in a town with a pretty diverse population, including Indians. There's little to no conflict there of the type I'm reading on this thread. Up in Central Jersey, where there is a gigantic Indian population, is the conflict & anger I'm reading about here much more prevalent? It would make sense - two large racial/cultural groups living together in the same area is bound to cause problems, even in the 21st Century. I can't even imagine what it would've been like to go to say, JP Stevens High School, for instance. And I didn't even know about this "staring" thing beyond what I've already said.
I never said there was 'conflict' where I live. I am just pointing out at something I noticed, which is a fact because I see it happen every day:
- They stare at us nonstop, even after I made eye contact and waved 'hi', they follow us with their eyes until we disappear..lol... which in other cultures this could be seen as rude or a harrassment action... but
-I am open minded, (I myself am from a different country as well) and I am willing to learn about their culture, accept it, etc.
-that's the reason why I posted this, I wanted to know if there are other people in my same situation.
-I appreciate the input of many here...I see I am not the only one and now I have a better understanding of why they do it.
- I was starting to feel like I lived next to a very CREEPY guy and family.
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Old 12-22-2011, 02:12 PM
 
455 posts, read 981,593 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nybbler View Post
Apparently, pretty common
India’s Staring Culture (http://girlunstoppable.com/2011/04/indias-staring-culture/ - broken link)

I'd start regularly grilling steaks outside. But then, that's my answer to everything.
I vote for this resolution.

Either that or you go buy yourself a newborn calf, stick it in a cage on your front lawn with a big sign that says "FRESH VEAL!"

>:-)
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Old 12-22-2011, 02:53 PM
 
305 posts, read 539,562 times
Reputation: 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nexis4Jersey View Post
Not all Indians stare or retain there culture most of them try to shed as much as possible...with food and religion being the remaining pieces left.... Most of my Indian friends are open minded and do not stare , this seems to be an older generation thing which does not suprise me.
Well this is Iselin where there is a much higher concentration of Indians and because of this you have many Indians, many who are foreign born, who do not assimilate but rather stay within and hold on to their culture.

This happens with other cultures too in the US when there are heavy concentrations of them.

For example, Hispanics in Perth Amboy, Orthodox Jews in Brooklyn, Cubans in Miami, and even the Amish in Lancouster County.
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Old 12-22-2011, 05:16 PM
 
501 posts, read 696,917 times
Reputation: 616
Quote:
Originally Posted by carriecarrio View Post
I never said there was 'conflict' where I live. I am just pointing out at something I noticed, which is a fact because I see it happen every day:
- They stare at us nonstop, even after I made eye contact and waved 'hi', they follow us with their eyes until we disappear..lol... which in other cultures this could be seen as rude or a harrassment action... but
-I am open minded, (I myself am from a different country as well) and I am willing to learn about their culture, accept it, etc.
-that's the reason why I posted this, I wanted to know if there are other people in my same situation.
-I appreciate the input of many here...I see I am not the only one and now I have a better understanding of why they do it.
- I was starting to feel like I lived next to a very CREEPY guy and family.
I admire your patience! Even if my neighbors were descendants of the Mayflower this running out of the house and staring every time I went outside would freak me out

I've worked with and met many Indians over the years and the majority of them were very nice with only a few exceptions. My neighbors keep to themselves. keep their properties up, are quiet and their kids well behaved. So hopefully you will able to "break the ice" somewhat and things turn out well for all concerned.

Quote:
Originally Posted by homenj View Post
Well this is Iselin where there is a much higher concentration of Indians and because of this you have many Indians, many who are foreign born, who do not assimilate but rather stay within and hold on to their culture.

This happens with other cultures too in the US when there are heavy concentrations of them.

For example, Hispanics in Perth Amboy, Orthodox Jews in Brooklyn, Cubans in Miami, and even the Amish in Lancouster County.
Excellent point.
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