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Your perspective is delusional in how much control you have on external influences on your child. Unless you have them locked up all the time in the house, you can't control who your children socialize with. While you have a point that parenting is paramount in determining what kind of person they will grow up to be, it is not the only factor. Avoid talking in absolutes (i.e. 100%) as there are too many uncertainties.
I suspect the friend and the friend's father could have a major influence on her actions. Just guessing as not enough info is available.
Agreed. Badfish740, feel blessed that your positive parenting on a non-bad seed resulted in children whom you are proud of. Not every child reacts well to the same parenting style--I know successful kids who had parents who threw obstacles in their way and couldn't be bothered to support their kids and I know seriously messed up kids whose parents honestly tried their best. It's easy to point the finger and say "you! you're messed up because your parents are potheads" but not all cases of parenting are as cut and dry.
The toughest part of parenting is the uncertainly of the long term consequences of any action/decision you make, esp as your child hits puberty and starts withdrawing/rebelling and thinks that he is now so smart and worldly.
This story tells us paying money for private schools from (Grade 1 - Grade 12) is dumb. I can't imagine how much her parents paid for all the private schools before she reached college.
My wife want to enroll my daughters into private school that costs good amount of money per year, even though we have great public schools. I will show her private schools don't necessarily produce good kids with this news.
She attended public school K-8, as did her sisters (one is still in 8th grade, the other is a sophomore in a different high school).
Would be one thing if her parents were divorced and one refused to pay tuition or something along those lines. Sounds like a typical spoiled North Jersey bi*ch to me. Probably would have used that money to buy extra shots on weekends at Sona 13 in Morristown.
Badfish and njkate - You're both right! How many times have we seen families with 3 or 4 kids where all but one turn out to be "pillars of society" due to excellent parenting, and you end up with that one kid, who despite being raised in similar circumstances, seems to have turned out to be the "Spawn of Satan." You wonder if it is that nature vs. nurture process at play! This is the type of kid that makes his or her "bad friends" seem almost good in comparison!
Society has changed so much as well. When I got yelled out by a teacher (which was a very rare event) and then told my parents, I'd get yelled out by them as well! Nowadays, everybody has a "little prince" or "princess" who can do no wrong. I really feel sorry for teachers in this day and age!
Would be one thing if her parents were divorced and one refused to pay tuition or something along those lines. Sounds like a typical spoiled North Jersey bi*ch to me. Probably would have used that money to buy extra shots on weekends at Sona 13 in Morristown.
yes, the girl is a brat for suing her parents, i'm sure the friends (attorney) dad didn't help the situation but it seems you are projecting some past frustration on describing your typical N. Jersey girl. a bit harsh..
Badfish and njkate - You're both right! How many times have we seen families with 3 or 4 kids where all but one turn out to be "pillars of society" due to excellent parenting, and you end up with that one kid, who despite being raised in similar circumstances, seems to have turned out to be the "Spawn of Satan." You wonder if it is that nature vs. nurture process at play! This is the type of kid that makes his or her "bad friends" seem almost good in comparison!
Society has changed so much as well. When I got yelled out by a teacher (which was a very rare event) and then told my parents, I'd get yelled out by them as well! Nowadays, everybody has a "little prince" or "princess" who can do no wrong. I really feel sorry for teachers in this day and age!
I constantly hear this and maybe I associate with the right people, but this is not how I (or my friends) parent. Trust me, this generation is not doomed. It's funny but I heard the same crap from people my parents' age when I was growing up.
Sorry, but I don't buy it. Things may have looked nice and rosy on the surface to outside observers such as yourself, but something was rotten on the inside, or else that child would never have chosen that path. As a parent, if my child becomes a heroin addict, a murderer, or even an unethical (but technically law abiding) person, it will be 100% mine and my wife's fault. No one else's. If you really believe in personal responsibility for yourself and you have children, you must accept responsibility for them as well. Everything you teach them, expose them to, and model for them will guide the decisions and life choices they will ultimately make once they are old enough to do so.
I understand your perspective... but none of us raise our kids in a vacuum. Obviously our kids have better odds if we raise them as you suggest. But no matter how good a job we do, there are always outside factors that can influence them.
Teach them as well as you can, yet there are MANY people who are all too willing to help kids undermine their parents' authority. Frequently they are well-meaning people, covertly helping junior rebel against his/her 'tyrant' parents, and often consider themselves friends of the parents. "You have a curfew! Just ask you folks if you can stay here tonight with my son. I'll cover for you two" (as they're out until 4 a.m.)
Many people do their best to raise their kids but find themselves struggling against societal pressures. Example: "Hey kid... you'll deliver this package for me if you don't want your mother to get hurt."
These situations are usually far from being the slam dunk that you portray them it to be. If your kids make mistakes it's 100% your and your wife's fault? Never.
As for this court case, I tremble in my boots when I hear that this court is even hearing it. I see 'frivolous' written all over this. I hope the defendants are awarded attorney's fees.
She attended public school K-8, as did her sisters (one is still in 8th grade, the other is a sophomore in a different high school).
Hmmm I wonder why the different high schools? Did at one time Rachel have a scholarship to Morris catholic because she was an honor student and somehow lost it for not following what ever the guidelines were? Just projecting here as I think there is more to this than what's being said.
yes, the girl is a brat for suing her parents, i'm sure the friends (attorney) dad didn't help the situation but it seems you are projecting some past frustration on describing your typical N. Jersey girl. a bit harsh..
Uh, no actually. I'm calling a spade a spade on this one.
And a lot of girls from North Jersey are just like her -- daddy's girls and born with a silver spoon.
I constantly hear this and maybe I associate with the right people, but this is not how I (or my friends) parent. Trust me, this generation is not doomed. It's funny but I heard the same crap from people my parents' age when I was growing up.
Tahiti - I'm glad to hear you say that! I think that kind of behavior happens more in the "upper crusty" towns, than the more mainstream middle-class areas. My BIL's sister was a biology teacher in Saddle River for a couple of years and she was once told by a student, "You work for us B*tch" and "my allowance is bigger than your salary!" She left teaching and ended up at Xerox and Hewlett Packard as a much happier and richer person! But you would have to admit that society is much more litigious than in the 60's or 70's. I never heard of parents suing a school system or the BOE when I was a kid during the last ice age!
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No Vacuum
