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I'm not so sure it's "bother us more", rather than our BS tolerance is a lot lower. I am far more vocal about things than I was 20 years ago (not being nasty but not letting myself being taken advantage of), and it's very liberating.
You just said what I was trying to say, only you said it a lot better than me. Thanks!
before him, a lady at the table ordered decaf so she suggested that's why she asked.
in any case, I don't want to have awkward moments with waitresses at dinner. but because some people get meaner and grumpier as they age, every issue becomes worthy of whining about.
What would've had more impact was leaving the store without spending any money. If more people actually did this when treated wrongly - the company would be more likely to make changes in how they operate. It's really the only thing that motivates a company these days - sales or lack thereof.
And I know quite a number of doctors personally. I also understand that sometimes they need to blow off steam in whatever ways they have to due to stress on the job. It's also why I try to stay as far away from visiting doctors unless absolutely necessary.
So you think things bother us more as we get older? Maybe, but I'm not convinced. It's like a chicken and egg argument. Maybe a little of both. I bet someone, somewhere has done a study on it.
it seems like everyone has their own concept of what im talking about. I think when it is excessive (and that's subjective) its a bad quality. should my mom have spoken up when she got two small crepes when she expected 3 large ones? sure, she wasn't happy and she can say something. does it require making a big show of it and getting the menu and then showing the waiter the picture in the menu? it also seems to impact her emotionally more than it should. most of these complaints can either be ignored or handled much more easily but some old people seem to want to make a big stink over it. for the most part, the person you are dealing with isn't the one that made the decision that ultimately caused you an issue. i always consider that before i start laying into some front line customer service person.
the other day, my wife was driving and im the passenger. some guy honked at her from behind. she starts getting angry, yelling and speeding up a bit. she is complaining that she is driving perfectly fine. i just said to her that if she is driving fine, ignore the person that's honking. if someone honks at me, im not going to let it impact my mood. i couldn't care less. i dont hold anything in, there is nothing to hold because it doesn't bother me.
Last edited by CaptainNJ; 03-26-2014 at 12:23 PM..
im not so sure its about holding things in as much as letting things bother you. no need to complain when simple mistakes/imperfections don't cause you so much stress.
i have a pretty high tolerance for things, beyond what your 'average' consumer does, because of my experiences as a waiter, kitchen staff, and retail employee (circuit city and blockbuster, among a variety of clothing stores). so i know what the worker is going through in many cases.
that said, those same experiences have made it so that when i do see an egregious customer service problem, i nearly explode. like my situation with Sony and getting my home-theater-in-a-box serviced. it had issues from 2 months on. those issues kept popping up, and going away. every time i called, they would tell me to do xyz. then, when i called at 13 months, right out of warranty, suddenly the suggestion was i send it in and they'll fix it or replace it if it cannot be fixed. so, i did. then, they charged me $130 to fix it! i was livid. when i called i honestly felt sorry for whomever was going to answer that particular phone call. i had been assured it was a warranty issue and would be fixed, then i was charged. i hate nothing more than being told one thing, when the actual thing is something else. i get that sometimes people are wrong, and lower level customer service agents only have so much power. so i barked right up the chain to a manager.
needless to say, i didn't pay for it. also...i'll never purchase another Sony product again in my lifetime.
I can see this with my parents. my dad is becoming harder and harder to deal with in restaurants. the other night, his scallop dinner was returned beause 1. they weren't seared properly 2. they were cold & 3. they were small. he sends back food all the time for being "ice cold" but unhappiness with the food is unusual and uncomfortable.
my mom doesn't have as many food issues but when she does she makes a bigger deal of it. I anticipate it getting worse because restaurant selection is always super important to her.
sending cold food back is 100% acceptable. other issues people often have, i find absurd. when you're eating out, you're allowed to be critical, but if you're particular, you should cook for yourself. if it has an ingredient you didn't expect...tough. don't order it again. my MIL has actually sent food back because of how it looks, how it tastes, and numerous other things that were highly subjective things. it makes everyone at the table uncomfortable and embarrassed, and now i just don't like eating out with them. she asks 400 questions when ordering. then a solid 25% of the time, sends it back
when someone is sending back food for being "ice cold" 60% of the time, I think the issue becomes them. I agree, if something is cold or wrong, you can send it back. but if you are sending back food more than half the time, you have your own issues. for some reason, French fries are especially an issue. if my dad is getting fries, expect it to go back 80% of the time.
the excessive part is important because people seem to be getting the idea that im against complaining. that's not it at all.
What would've had more impact was leaving the store without spending any money. If more people actually did this when treated wrongly - the company would be more likely to make changes in how they operate. It's really the only thing that motivates a company these days - sales or lack thereof.
What? I'm going to organize a boycott? I'm pretty sure if I just left, the lazy workers would have been happy and the company would have never known the difference, and I would have left empty handed. It is very easy to say "If everybody did this or that..." but you can apply it to my actions as well. If everybody made a mess of things when they had to look for their own clothing, it would only take about 2 hours before the salespeople started pouncing on you the minute you walked in the door, asking if you needed help finding something. After all, you can bet they are going to quickly figure out the best way to work the least amount possible.
I don't normally read the New Jersey forum, but the title of this thread caught my eye. I hate to say this, but the whole attitude of a 45 year old guy making a huge mess in a store at the mall to get revenge on the store's staff and then bragging about being immature and how good it felt to do this is, first of all, ridiculous if not outright disturbing, and secondly, based on some of the comments that he is getting congratulating him for a job well done, not exactly making New Jersey look like a shining beacon of decent behavior.
I see so many threads on other states' forums where someone inquires about moving there from New Jersey, and you can almost feel the animosity towards them, particularly states in the Southeastern U.S. I think I'm starting to get some of it, if this is the typical attitude of very many of the people in this state. It only continues to perpetuate the pushy, bossy, in your face, "You gotta problem widdat?" stereotype that plagues natives of New Jersey wherever they go but that is (hopefully!) not accurate for most of them.
I pity anyone from New Jersey trying to move somewhere else and having to drag that stereotype with them. Life's hard enough in a new city and state without your new neighbors being afraid and upset that "The Situation" just moved in next door, especially when you don't even fit the stereotype.
oh come on. get off of your high horse. if you think customers like the OPs described experience are somehow unique to NJ, then I've got a traffic-jammed bridge to sell you.
Nearly every single one of us have had some frustrated customer service experience at least once, and I doubt that 100% of us have kept our cool every single time. while i hate what MD did, he was frustrated and decided to just go at it. he made a little mess as retribution. big deal.
i've never had a startbucks employee correct my use of s, m, and L. try a smile?
In fact, I do smile.
And, I always say "please" and "thank you".
I just refuse to parrot the silly and totally inaccurate terminology that they use for their small coffee.
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) not accurate for most of them.
