Is leaving the right thing to do? (Harvey Cedars: mortgage, real estate)

[imperieux]

Originally Posted by stevemorse

also to add, I have learned an important lesson that someone told me .......I forgot who, but they said THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN A BIG HOUSE AND CHEAP TAXES!! AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I completely agree with that statement. And I've personally witnessed those who have picked up their whole family and moved them to another world based simply on a big cheaper home and cheaper taxes, without even considering the lifestyle or cultural changes they would be dealing with.

And then they wonder why their miserable in their location and yell to anyone who will listen that the new state is a complete hell hole.

[nic529]

Oh darn - I thought you and I had made it past this - I think you know what I mean - don't ya? Moving to a smaller house - moving to an area that doesnt offer so much -

I did explain that refinancing is not an option right now - and - paying off debt is kinda hard when you dont have extra
But - we're not going to just pick up and leave! We are responsible!

Originally Posted by tahiti

me telling you to focus on paying off your debts and getting your credit score up before you look into moving or selling your house wasn't good financial advice? and others suggesting looking into refinancing when those are taken care of isn't good advice either?

i know it's hard to not focus on the negative things ppl posted to you (it's happened to me, i know), but you HAVE received good advice, it's just getting lost in the drama.

[billb7581]

It's tough when there's kids involved.

When we moved from Riverton to Cinnaminson because we could forsee staying there for our kids entire school career.

[imperieux]

Originally Posted by nic529

Oh darn - I thought you and I had made it past this - I think you know what I mean - don't ya? Moving to a smaller house - moving to an area that doesnt offer so much -

I did explain that refinancing is not an option right now - and - paying off debt is kinda hard when you dont have extra
But - we're not going to just pick up and leave! We are responsible!

I have no doubts that you wouldn't just pick up and leave. And as someone who actually DID pick up and leave, it's not that easy to do anyway! It took us almost 6 months of work to move. And it cost us a fair amount of money to move all of our belongings to another state as well.

Moving a distance away is not simple or easy if you have a family. It's very complicated and a lot is riding on a major decision like that. And after a lot of careful planning you may discover it's not in your best interests to move for other reasons other than financial ones. You need a lot of time to think things through.

I have faith that you won't rush into anything without thinking. No matter what you decide to do in your situation.

-Stephanie

[mike0421]

Originally Posted by colleeng47

I am so amazed at the violent response the OP recieved. And all in a matter of hours! You really touched some nerves on this board. Wow. My family is heading out of state late January. We're skipping the NC/SC/FL corridor relocation so popular with those in NJ. We're heading to Oklahoma. Funny thing is, in researching Oklahoma, I stumbled on these boards and have been reading for weeks now on the Oklahoma forum. Very nice, friendly, warm, welcoming people. Just decided to check into the NJ forum to see what's going on and I happened to access this question/discussion. You people are harsh!

I won't go into my reasons for leaving because it's no one's business but mine, but I am stunned at how posters are treated on this board. I'm sure you're as glad to see me go as I am to leave! Merry Christmas.

If your aim is to lower expenses there are few places you can go to than around the OKC/Norman area. I was driving through that area and couldn't believe how low the prices there were for practically everything. For instance, a 20oz bottle of soda in a convenience store was 75 cents. I had to ask for clarification. Housing is lower around the Oklahoma City area than any other metro, save for the rust belt cities of Youngstown OH, Elmira NY, and Jamestown NY. The thing is, the economy in most Oklahoma cities is only going to increase with the price of oil increasing. The other aforementioned cities are in line with the depressed salaries. Oklahoma, in general, is an up and coming state/area IMO.

[tahiti]

Originally Posted by nic529

Oh darn - I thought you and I had made it past this - I think you know what I mean - don't ya? Moving to a smaller house - moving to an area that doesnt offer so much -

I did explain that refinancing is not an option right now - and - paying off debt is kinda hard when you dont have extra
But - we're not going to just pick up and leave! We are responsible!

as you can tell, i have a problem when ppl speak in absolutes i try not to do it.

[ScranBarre]

Originally Posted by colleeng47

Just decided to check into the NJ forum to see what's going on and I happened to access this question/discussion. You people are harsh!

They're not bad at all---as long as you agree with them.

[colleeng47]

Originally Posted by imperieux

And you should be excited! Good luck to you and your new family with the adventure that lies ahead and from what I've read in your posts it seems you have the perfect attitude. You realize that no area is perfect, and there are pros and cons to every location. But you feel you have found the best fit for your family and that's what it's all about in my opinion.

My family and I also avoided FL even though a lot of our family have just fled to West Palm Beach. We also avoided NC because our research and visits there did not live up to the hype or reputation NC currently has. In short, it just didn't suit our family and it's needs.

So I set out to find somewhere that did. After months of looking and a few visits to other states we were surprised to find the low country in SC and Charleston fit all our family's criteria perfectly. It's not absolutely perfect, no. But over a year later, we are happy to say we feel we have the quality of life we were searching for and we consider our relocation from NJ a success.

So it can be done successfully and I wish all the best to you and your family in your new home in OK!

-Stephanie

Thanks so much for your encouragement Stephanie. I'm really glad you found the best place for your family. And I agree, no place is perfect, it's just a matter of what works for you. I also forgot to mention one of the main consdierations for Oklahoma was my daughter is a horse fanatic (rides every week) and she wants to be a storm photographer. Couldn't find a better place for her.

[cyntmac]

Originally Posted by SWB

They're not bad at all---as long as you agree with them.

Ever heard of the pot calling the kettle black?

[tahiti]

Originally Posted by imperieux

I completely agree with that statement. And I've personally witnessed those who have picked up their whole family and moved them to another world based simply on a big cheaper home and cheaper taxes, without even considering the lifestyle or cultural changes they would be dealing with.

And then they wonder why their miserable in their location and yell to anyone who will listen that the new state is a complete hell hole.

one of my BFF's is seriously looking to move to NC (Charlotte area) - they've been down there and scoped out housing. i emailed her this whole missive about the pros and cons (and yes, I did use the "cheap housing and low taxes" phrase ). i told her my experience moving from very urban to very suburban/bordering on rural, the good, bad and ugly. even though I moved within the state, i did leave my hometown for reasons people leave the state - cheaper housing. i don't regret it, but it's definitely a huge change, and for her, factor in that she's moving not 50 miles, but 700 miles away and, it's going to be quite an adjustment for them. her DH is gung ho, he hates NJ and cold weather, but she's very apprehensive and I'm concerned.