Is leaving the right thing to do? (East Brunswick, Clinton: real estate, cul-de-sac)

[Guywithacause]

Regarding your sarcastic comment "what was I thinking...1600 sf is way over the top" ...if you cannot afford it..which is what YOU are saying..then yes..it IS over the top. You are not owed anything....so if you can only afford a 1,200sf of home..so be it...make it the best darn 1,200sf anyone has ever seen! It is yours...provides safety for your family...and will be filled with ALOT of love now that unnecessary money problems dissolve because you are somewhere you can afford....can sleep at night..and you can spend more quality time with kids and spend al little more on them....its all about QUALITY...NOT QUANTITY.

[krusher]

I think its a discussion of "needs" vs "wants." I have this same discussion with the little woman sometimes. Her father was a rock star salesman for a big company in the 70's and 80's so he made tons of money without working very hard for it.

But times have changed. Jobs aren't as permanent as they were. Incomes don't rise as fast as they used to. Comfort isn't as easy to come by. If you don't plan well, yes, things can get harder as you get older.

The first step towards salvation is realizing that the world doesn't owe you anything, you have to earn everything you get. The world doesn't owe you a 1600 sq ft home. If you can't afford it, you need to find something that you can afford. Your children won't love you any less because their bedrooms are smaller then before.

[nic529]

Originally Posted by findinghope

is it possible to refinance on your mortgage? maybe the rates are better now than when you bought? that way your mortgage payment will go down and that will help. i dont think $6000 is "that bad" compared to other places. if your family is there and happy, you should not have to move, unless you want to.

I realize my taxes aren't as high as some. Can't refinance right now unfortunately.

I was home for 5 years with my kids. I ran a daycare out of my house. I decided to go back to work this year when my son started daycare, so I gave everyone notice. Kids began dwindling in June...I watched several teachers kids. By August I was down to 1. Lets just say - finances got tight. Now, we're playing catch up. I really thought it would be easier adding my salary back into the mix. i thought now maybe we can start some savings for college or retirement. A family vacation. Doesn't seem possible right now.

Thanks for the idea though. It may be a good thing for us to look into again in a few months.

[nic529]

Originally Posted by krusher

I think its a discussion of "needs" vs "wants." I have this same discussion with the little woman sometimes. Her father was a rock star salesman for a big company in the 70's and 80's so he made tons of money without working very hard for it.

But times have changed. Jobs aren't as permanent as they were. Incomes don't rise as fast as they used to. Comfort isn't as easy to come by. If you don't plan well, yes, things can get harder as you get older.

The first step towards salvation is realizing that the world doesn't owe you anything, you have to earn everything you get. The world doesn't owe you a 1600 sq ft home. If you can't afford it, you need to find something that you can afford. Your children won't love you any less because their bedrooms are smaller then before.

I don't see anything wrong with wanting a comfortable lifestyle? Am I seriously asking too much? and 1600 square feet is not a lot! My kids are 14 yr old girl and a 5 yr old boy......I will not make them share a room. I don't have a cushy lifestyle...I dont have things I dont need.

The "little woman" should run.

[RobRiguez]

Nic529, Im facing some of the same issues. I feel your pain. But alot of these "downsizing" people, even if they are a bit crude in their explaination, have a good point. 100k is nothing compared to what it was 10 years ago. The same house that sold for 200k 5 years ago sells for 350k now. Its rediculous. Before my wife and I bought our house we never had to worry once about how the bills got paid, if we could afford to go out one evening or if we could afford a new gift for ourselves once or twice a year.

Now, there are some months I have to dip into our savings a bit to cover gas for both cars. Did we buy over our heads...absolutely. We were banking on the fact that we got a good deal on a house worth much more than we paid and that we would both be making more in 5 years and not have to upgrade because we already have our dream house. 1 year later we are making more and its getting easier but we still have to mind the pennies each month. Downsizing MIGHT be the right answer for you if you dont see your finances growing soon.

[Guywithacause]

So tru Krushner..life changes....circumstances change...and yes as people get older they typically downsize to cut costs...it is quite common. This kind of attitude is why we have the current mortgage crisis, and huge, completely out of control and abused government subsidized programs...every feels they "deserve" a huge home, or luxuries...when in fact if they cannot afford them...then THEY DO NOT DESERVE THEM. Welcome to the real world. For the past 10,000 years people got alonmg just fine without a dishwasher, and a bedroom for each kid, without a yard, and whatever else she feels she is owed. Earn it! If you can't...make the best of what you have or sacrifice for it....in the end you are not guranteed anything...but keep tryin!

[nic529]

Originally Posted by Guywithacause

Regarding your sarcastic comment "what was I thinking...1600 sf is way over the top" ...if you cannot afford it..which is what YOU are saying..then yes..it IS over the top. You are not owed anything....so if you can only afford a 1,200sf of home..so be it...make it the best darn 1,200sf anyone has ever seen! It is yours...provides safety for your family...and will be filled with ALOT of love now that unnecessary money problems dissolve because you are somewhere you can afford....can sleep at night..and you can spend more quality time with kids and spend al little more on them....its all about QUALITY...NOT QUANTITY.

I could afford it when I bought it ...but my taxes have risen 3000 is the last 3 years. Yes...1000 per year. thats a steep jump dont ya think? 1600 square feet is not a lot. dont tell me to find a 1200 square feet. if i move again its out of this state. a 1200 sq ft home is in the same price range....look it up...realtor.com. you go pay 250, 000 to 300,000 for a house you dont want.

[nic529]

Originally Posted by Guywithacause

So tru Krushner..life changes....circumstances change...and yes as people get older they typically downsize to cut costs...it is quite common. This kind of attitude is why we have the current mortgage crisis, and huge, completely out of control and abused government subsidized programs...every feels they "deserve" a huge home, or luxuries...when in fact if they cannot afford them...then THEY DO NOT DESERVE THEM. Welcome to the real world. For the past 10,000 years people got alonmg just fine without a dishwasher, and a bedroom for each kid, without a yard, and whatever else she feels she is owed. Earn it! If you can't...make the best of what you have or sacrifice for it....in the end you are not guranteed anything...but keep tryin!

The prices are outrageous...thats why we have this mortgage crisis. People can't get a decent house in this state without paying these prices. the point of the diswasher was to let you know i dont go spending unnecessarily.

So because I only make $100, 000/ yr that shouldnt entitle me to be able to save. What you two are saying is that I dont work and earn? BS. It should be plenty. And what I am saying is that in LOTS of other states it is - but not here. Thats all i was saying. And I was looking for opinions on the financial strain in this state on middle class America. I do not over spend...I will not explain myself to you. I will not be responding to anymore of your unreasonable suggestions.

[stacylee926]

I don't know anything about cost of living in NJ, but I saw this and wanted to pop in. Many of the responders here are being a little harsh to you. I never felt it was productive to dwell on the past. You have identified a problem, and it is one that is bigger and you want to fix it. Good for you!!!

I was living in Northern Virginia where the cost of living is insane!! I was a single mom and I bought a house BEFORE the market was crazy. Even then, over 2 years my mortgage went up and up and I was struggling, so I left town and made a nice little profit. Some things just fell in place - daughter graduated HS and my mother had passed away of a long term illness. It was time to get out and the door opened.

Under 'normal' times, the best move might be to sell the house and rent something that is cheaper (let someone else take care of taxes, repairs etc). However, right now you could lose money and all the stress of selling in this market is not a great position to be in.

I'm not sure what the answer is because you don't seem to be living far beyond your means. There are many many middle class families living paycheck to paycheck right now. Yes, there are definitely cheaper places to live that have good schools in nice neighborhoods. Being able to sell your house and relocate can be costly and it doesn't sound like you are in that position yet. You might want to put yourself on a strict budget (New Years Resolution?) and work on paying off the credit card bills now that you are working again. Watch the housing market and the job market and start making a plan. Make long term goals and short term goals and get excited about the opportunity for a fresh start. I would also talk to your daughter. I'm sure she is aware of the news and you need to be honest with her. Maybe she can get a job this summer to start buying her own clothes etc.

Whatever you do, good luck! You will find the answer in time.

[tahiti]

i'm wondering about the mortgage too - $3000/mo (or $2500 assuming that 3K includes taxes) sounds INCREDIBLY high to me for what you have. Did you have a subprime loan with a teaser rate that recently reset?

houses your size in your area go for about $370'ish - and like another poster said, your payment is having about a $400K mortgage. way over the limit for your income level.

i'm not entirely positive this is a NJ thing. we obviously can't answer the question as to whether you should leave, but think about duplicating your salary elsewhere - if houses are 1/2 as much, and your salary drops by 1/2 - well........