Is leaving the right thing to do? (Dover, Chester: mortgage, property taxes)

[Guywithacause]

As I said...you seem to be fixated on square footage...and refuse to consider anything that is smaller and will be affordable to you....so you are right...in all likelihood you the next move you make will be out of state.....and in all likelihood you will move to a larger home. The fact remains, however, you are not willing to adjust your lifetsyle to the changing times...so although you are running to another state..it is a matter of time before the same problems of "unaffordability" creep into there...and you are faced with the same dillemma....without solving your "want" and "I deserve" attitude..you are gonna run out of places to go

[Guywithacause]

staceylee...I dont think anyone is being harsh. It may hurt to hear that although you USED to be able to afford a home..the game has changed and NOW you NO LONGER can. So I don't understand the big deal of cutting your debt load and downsizing versus just picking up and moving to another state..which is extreme to say the least (to her and the kids). People buy bigger homes when they ca afford it (and alot of times when they can't..so whats the big deal to get a smaller home if thats all you can afford?)

She is not willing to have kids share a room...and she is not willing to move to a smaller home because somehow 1,600sf is at the social-status limit for her...so at the end of the day..she is not willing to make the sacrifices..but instead move to a state where she can have everything she is used to...until the same thing happens to her new state...and it becomes "unaffordable"...see a trend here?

[ScranBarre]

I'm having a difficult time understanding why the automatic solution for NJ residents who are "feeling the squeeze" is to move exclusively to North Carolina. Why is the Tobacco (err..."Tarheel") State so glamorous to you folks? Most of the "cities" in NC are just overglorified suburbs oriented around freeways and cul-de-sacs; they pale in comparison to some of the heart and soul that NJ's towns and cities possess. Why are the only two options for most of you people "Struggle and stay in NJ" or "Live the good life in NC?" Why not consider moving to PA, DE, Upstate NY, or other areas where you could still be close enough to drive back "home" on the weekends so your kids could socialize with their old friends while reaping the benefits of having a fraction of the cost-of-living that NJ zaps out of you?

[Guywithacause]

SWB...its all about Square Footage...its the draw of a large home and the connection of big home = success/happiness/self-esteem. You can get much more home in places like NC....and everything else is seen as unimportant...that is the draw.

As I stated...nobody is addressing the underlying problem..but instead running to somewhere where they can maintain/acquire a lifestyle that they can no longer afford here. Instead of adjusting to the changing times..running to soemwhere that they can still have their cake and eat it too is much easier.

[kimchee]

Nic, I just wanted to say that what you have to go through is not atypical and very much a problem alot of middle class families in NJ has to deal with lately. NJ families are flooding the state in droves to move down South. You don't have to move out of state though.

There must be another area that will be more affordable for you? You CAN buy another place that doesn't have the 4BR but can be upgraded to a 3BR. My friend just moved to East Brunswick recently and got herself a nice home with backyard under $350K. It's a 2BR, but it has an attic she can covert to another BR. She will be quitting her job soon so her hubby will be the only one bringing home the bacon. They will be making the same household income as you. And they can afford to live in NJ.

Homes with less BRs will be cheaper and have less sq. footage on the main floor. You can work to make them into what you want though. I'm sure you probably watched HGTV's Hidden Potential...

Good luck! And don't give up yet!

[stevemorse]

I would not move. I would try to find a way to make it work. Moving is definately not the answer. I understand that well because we tried it. My husband was the biggest NJ basher honestly, and after moving, he is saying things that I never thought I would here him say! Not a good idea, try to make it work. I do not know how but try. Its not worth moving.

[nic529]

Thanks - thats actually nice to hear.

[sam23]

Originally Posted by krusher

I think its a discussion of "needs" vs "wants." I have this same discussion with the little woman sometimes. Her father was a rock star salesman for a big company in the 70's and 80's so he made tons of money without working very hard for it.

But times have changed. Jobs aren't as permanent as they were. Incomes don't rise as fast as they used to. Comfort isn't as easy to come by. If you don't plan well, yes, things can get harder as you get older.

The first step towards salvation is realizing that the world doesn't owe you anything, you have to earn everything you get. The world doesn't owe you a 1600 sq ft home. If you can't afford it, you need to find something that you can afford. Your children won't love you any less because their bedrooms are smaller then before.

Excellent point because that's what it basically boils down to "wants" vs. "needs". Too many people today feel they are entitled to luxuries., "Pronto Amigo." Rather than buying that 36 inch LCD next year they just have to have NOW! It's not the Clinton yrs anymore, times have changed and prices have become bloated on everything from Milk, to real estate, to gas because of the war. We as human beings have the ability to adapt and thats what were required to do.

[sam23]

Originally Posted by nic529

I could afford it when I bought it ...but my taxes have risen 3000 is the last 3 years. Yes...1000 per year. thats a steep jump dont ya think? 1600 square feet is not a lot. dont tell me to find a 1200 square feet. if i move again its out of this state. a 1200 sq ft home is in the same price range....look it up...realtor.com. you go pay 250, 000 to 300,000 for a house you dont want.

I'm familiar with the Chesterfield area and almost bought one of those new houses built by KHovnanian. There has been a huge influx of people rapidly raising the population in the past 5-6 yrs. The schools simply can't handle the jump. I can guarantee that the reason your taxes are going up is because a new school/schools is/are in the works.

[nic529]

Originally Posted by kimchee

Nic, I just wanted to say that what you have to go through is not atypical and very much a problem alot of middle class families in NJ has to deal with lately. NJ families are flooding the state in droves to move down South. You don't have to move out of state though.

There must be another area that will be more affordable for you? You CAN buy another place that doesn't have the 4BR but can be upgraded to a 3BR. My friend just moved to East Brunswick recently and got herself a nice home with backyard under $350K. It's a 2BR, but it has an attic she can covert to another BR. She will be quitting her job soon so her hubby will be the only one bringing home the bacon. They will be making the same household income as you. And they can afford to live in NJ.

Homes with less BRs will be cheaper and have less sq. footage on the main floor. You can work to make them into what you want though. I'm sure you probably watched HGTV's Hidden Potential...

Good luck! And don't give up yet!

Well, We have looked around. We looked further in South Jersey because North Jersey is out of the question. You can't find a home in a good school district for much less than 300,000. So there isn't a point is us leaving this district. In other words - My house would already be considered one of the "cheap" ones. Unless I'm willing to sacrifice my kids education, which obviously I'm not, then it makes no sense to make a move in NJ.

I don't know that moving is the right answer. I know that my problem is common right now - especially with the housing market now coming down.
Its hard to sell, so we make not even make anything on our house - which would mean no down payment.

Thank you for your opinion, and your advice. I appreciate it.