Is leaving the right thing to do? (Newark, Trenton: sales, car insurance)

[nic529]

I am a thirty - something mother with 2 kids - 14 and 5. We live in a nice part of Burlington County. We are the average middle class family. I think we're average anyway. We can't go out and by $150 boots for my teenage daughter or the $379 powerwheels my son wants....but they will have a nice Christmas. My question is: with a combined income of 100,000/yr - why is so hard to make ends meet? Is it only us? Is this normal?

My kids go to great schools - my daughter is a high honor roll student and a cheerleader. Lots of friends. My son is loving Kindergarten. But my taxes are 6,000 yr on .40/acre. My mortgate is almost 3000/mth.

I know to a lot of you that sounds cheap. Lots of you make a lot more money - or somehow figured out how to start a savings account. So what am I doing wrong? We have a moderate house...a 4 bdrm cape with about 1600 sq feet. We don't go out to dinner or spend hundreds of dollars on hair or nails. We shop when there are sales. We have less then $5000 on credit. We're trying to play catch up from a spout of unemployment this summer, so now our credit is shot........why can't I catch up? Should people who make a combined income of $100,000 be having these problems?

Do we leave? Is it worth it to move my children out of their schools and go to Va, NC, or SC? Are the lower property taxes down there really worth the pay cut? the school change?

I'd love to hear any advice - or anyone else that is experiencing the same problems. It would be nice to know I'm not alone

[nsa162]

Originally Posted by nic529

I am a thirty - something mother with 2 kids - 14 and 5. We live in a nice part of Burlington County. We are the average middle class family. I think we're average anyway. We can't go out and by $150 boots for my teenage daughter or the $379 powerwheels my son wants....but they will have a nice Christmas. My question is: with a combined income of 100,000/yr - why is so hard to make ends meet? Is it only us? Is this normal?

My kids go to great schools - my daughter is a high honor roll student and a cheerleader. Lots of friends. My son is loving Kindergarten. But my taxes are 6,000 yr on .40/acre. My mortgate is almost 3000/mth.

I know to a lot of you that sounds cheap. Lots of you make a lot more money - or somehow figured out how to start a savings account. So what am I doing wrong? We have a moderate house...a 4 bdrm cape with about 1600 sq feet. We don't go out to dinner or spend hundreds of dollars on hair or nails. We shop when there are sales. We have less then $5000 on credit. We're trying to play catch up from a spout of unemployment this summer, so now our credit is shot........why can't I catch up? Should people who make a combined income of $100,000 be having these problems?

Do we leave? Is it worth it to move my children out of their schools and go to Va, NC, or SC? Are the lower property taxes down there really worth the pay cut? the school change?

I'd love to hear any advice - or anyone else that is experiencing the same problems. It would be nice to know I'm not alone

Its a shame but $100,000 a year with 2 kids in New Jersey Just doesnt cut it anymore.Throw in a mortgage and outrageous taxes and its impossible.You should consider Delaware.If you move to a place like Newark,De,you wouldnt really have to take a paycut,as the pay rate is not much lower down there.There are alot of huge companies in Delaware and Newark,De is an hour away from 2 major cities,Philadelphia and Baltimore.there is no sales tax in Delaware and property taxes for a house like yours would probably be around $1600.00 a year. Below is a helpful website with property taxes listed

www.othellorealty.com

http://www.pattersonschwartz.com/

[cyntmac]

Originally Posted by nic529

I am a thirty - something mother with 2 kids - 14 and 5. We live in a nice part of Burlington County. We are the average middle class family. I think we're average anyway. We can't go out and by $150 boots for my teenage daughter or the $379 powerwheels my son wants....but they will have a nice Christmas.
Do we leave? Is it worth it to move my children out of their schools and go to Va, NC, or SC? Are the lower property taxes down there really worth the pay cut? the school change?
I'd love to hear any advice - or anyone else that is experiencing the same problems. It would be nice to know I'm not alone

I have never heard that Burlington County was all that expensive. The property taxes that you pay are actually not that high for NJ. If the schools are good it is worth it maybe. Do you actually like it there? You neglected to mention that.

I wonder why the mention of expensive boots for a child? Does any kid need that? If they are old enough to work they can get a job and buy that stuff. If you really liked your area you would probably try to cut corners. There must be something else on your mind to be considering such a move.
What else is an issue?

If you actually moved to one of those states you might be able to afford to quit working and live on one income. Probably not the case now? Is that an issue? Do you like your job? There are lots of people who want to stay home and live a slower pace of life but you did not mention anything like that. The rat race and the work to live stuff does get to be too much sometimes. That is actually valid for some folks.

[Guywithacause]

Why do you feel compelled to move? Sounds like you need to adjust your needs. Do you NEED a 4 bedroom house? Kids can't share a room anymore? Do you NEED a guestroom? What ever happened to the good old sofabed? Do you NEED 1,600 sf? How about 1,200 and getting rid of all the excess junk and furniture?

Seems to me that instead of a $3000 pm Mortgage and outrageous taxes..you might consider selling the larger home..and downsizing to something you CAN AFFORD..instead of moving somewhere and going through all that hassle just so you can maintain a life you cannot afford here..or buy a larger house somewhere else!

[Helen S]

Moved here from NY in '94 with 9 year old triplets. Built a nice colonial on 1+acre in Warren County. Income similar to yours. Have struggled and struggled to remain here but we're on the move this spring. The outrageous rates from AllState for car insurance for two adults and three drivers under age 25 is outrageous as is our property/school taxes at $10,200 - we're done. 5 family members have relocated to Charlotte NC area - low car insurance and under $1500 for new home just under 3000 sq ft. Don't know too much about schools as I no longer need them. Can't wait to get out from under these expenses and breathe again. "Waiting to exhale!"

[LaceyEx]

Why should NIC529 and her family have to down-size,etc.? The problem lies in Trenton under the gold dome and all the useless politicians. A 1600 sqft house is not an enormous home and as she stated the do not blow any discretionery income on frivolities.

NIC you're not alone-the cost of living in NJ is driving lots of middle class families to other states. DE or NC are places most are going to and enjoying their new lives.

[cyntmac]

Buying a smaller house or a condo in the same area may not be the answer for this person. There are factors that we do not know. Maybe she needs to leave the rat race. Not everyone can wait till retirement.

[Guywithacause]

She should downsize because she says she cannot afford to live that lifestyle anymore! The world does not owe her a 4 bed house...anymore than anyone is owed a 10,000sf house. If she can no longer afford due to increased expenses...which is a part of life by the way..we do not live in a time warp...then simply downsize and adjust your lifestyle accordingly. There is no need to pack up and uproot the family because you are unwilling to adjust your life to a changing world. Uprooting to another place just so you can have a 4 bedroom house is silly, and is not a solution, just running away from the problem: not being able to adjust to change! In time..she will likely have to move more times for the same excuse...so instead of adjusting to the changs and downsizing or adjusting her lifestyle..she will just keep moving...sounds like a great idea!

[Guywithacause]

Cyntmac clearly we are only offering our advice based on the little information she has told us....we have nothing else to go on, thus if she provides additional information we can advise her accordingly. As it stands now, she need not leave the state...so silly...I could have the same attitude but instead I chose to stay and live in a place I could afford...less to clean, less to heat/air condition, less maintenance= more time and money for what counts...family! And I didn't have to leave either....

[krusher]

Originally Posted by nic529

with a combined income of 100,000/yr - why is so hard to make ends meet? Is it only us? Is this normal?

Originally Posted by nic529

We're trying to play catch up from a spout of unemployment this summer

So your combined income isn't really 100k this year. That's what it is in the best of times. And it sounds like it hasn't been the best of times.

Originally Posted by nic529

But my taxes are 6,000 yr on .40/acre. My mortgate is almost 3000/mth.

So you're paying $500 / month in taxes which means you're making $2500 payments on mortgage and insurance. When did you get your mortgage? What's the rate? Sounds like you've got a mortgage for maybe $275k or $300k, right? Traditional wisdom held that you shouldn't buy a home for more then 2.5 times your annual income. Of course in NJ most of us will bump this up to 3 times annual income.

So, assuming you've made less then $100k some years, that's a pretty huge mortgage payment to be facing, nevermind with 2 kids and all the the stuff they need. Perhaps you bit off more then you can chew? There's no shame in admitting this and working to solve the problem. Maybe cut costs to the bone? Maybe find a smaller home in the area?

Moving out of state seems drastic to me, especially since there aren't a lot of jobs down south.