"Is your son adopted?" (Wyckoff, Edgewater: live, title, Korean)
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We once stayed over in a motel off of 80 in PA on our way out to Michigan, when an older gentleman saw our family, looked at me, and asked, "Where are you from?"
I responded with, "We're from NJ, on our way to Michigan."
He then looks at me intently and says, "No, I mean...w h e r e a r e y o u f r o o o o m ? China? Koooorea?"
Moments like these amuse me.
(Ivan, I did you a favor by incorporating NJ into this response so the thread can stay in the NJ section.)
Been there done that. When I tell them I'm from Japan, they say "oh I never would've thought that".
I was at a Korean dry cleaner one time in Edgewater and the lady says to me:"you look like Lou diamond Philips"
Can't make this stuff up...
If you see an Asian guy that looks like Lou diamond Philips in Wyckoff, stop and say hello.
You should have said, "No, I'm not a carpet. People from Asia are properly referred to as Asians, not...orientals".
I get the whole oriental thing is a no no these days but that really doesn't bother me to tell you the truth. Don't ask me why. It never did. Walking to school back in 1981 in 1st grade (Lyndhurst) and kids screaming racial slurs every other day from the school bus,,now that hurt.
OK, asking if she's the "nanny" is just rude. But to the OP's point, the woman was being nosy but I don't think it is always meant to be racist. It's natural to look and wonder and there's nothing offensive about being adopted. There are plenty of kids that are. I wouldn't have been offended by the question, but I really don't think you should ask something like that of a stranger because I really don't think a child's parentage is anyone's business.
That said, I would have answered the question and moved on. There's too many things in this world to be truly annoyed at, I don't think this is one of them.
How 'bout minding your own g-damn business? Like asking a person with a deformity - "ewww, what's that on your face?" Something a child might do. Not an adult.
I dont think ive ever been offended by anyone/anything. If I was in a good mood and someone asked me that about my child, I probably would have just said its not adopted and blow them off/walk away. No need to explain or defend anything.
If I was in a bad mood, I would have told them what they could do to themselves and to get out of my face.
I don't think its fair to label activities that demonstrate a preconceived notion about race as being "racist." I think being racist is much more malicious than someone asking if the child was adopted. we don't need to be so super sensitive and worry that something you say is going to make you a racist.
when you are a parent, the more annoying stuff is people judging you for how you are raising your children and even sometimes giving unwanted advice.
Last edited by CaptainNJ; 07-29-2014 at 06:40 PM..
How 'bout minding your own g-damn business? Like asking a person with a deformity - "ewww, what's that on your face?" Something a child might do. Not an adult.
I think this scenario is a lot different and I can speak from personal experience. You're right though, technically it was none of the woman's business, I just believe that being rude back doesn't serve a purpose, but you have your way of dealing with it and I have mine
CaptainNJ: classic Seinfeld Chinese postal worker scene. Loved that one.
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