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WOW!! That's not the typical New Jersey divorce story I hear about. Every situation I am aware of have the ex-husbands paying through the nose .... and living in apartments and/or shacks.
This is what I hear the very most too.
To the ladies:
And yes ladies men do have the responsibility to at the very least $ support the children from the marriage but not when the $ monthly judgements are so exorbitant that men balk at paying and or are living a life of misery because they can't afford it as well as at the time of divorce the women don't step up and ask of those exorbitant $ amounts be lowered as to be enough for the children while maintaining the man's chance of having some sought of quality of life - but I don't ever hear this happening even when she's the one just for example of the one that potentially cheated on her husband and initiated the divorce in which about 66% - 70% do, I wonder why? (not really) Of course there's MANY different scenarios that "he" is/was at fault.
Also no matter what the man does with an attorney and whatnot, the courts are biased towards women PERIOD on the most part. Not saying that women don't potentially suffer from divorce as well but that as far as I can tell is mostly on the mans shoulders.
Please don't label me as anything negative (I LOVE Women) as I've never been married and or have any children to have been ever "burned". But I have over the years (and just recently to one) have spoken to MULTITUDES of men who have got burned badly from divorce judgements.
It's not right that "he" doesn't pay, but not right when an exorbitant amount is expected crippling many men especially these days being the way the job market and payscales are as well as when potentially "she" takes those monies are buys herself "stuff" on the man's sweat while the child(ren) get practically none of it and suffer.
The marriage license has nothing to do with love but as a contract between both of you and the state as so to potentially $ rape when that corporation which is how the state sees it dissolves.
Can you tell me why a man should get married?
As much as many women hate this, this is why "MGTOW" exists.
To add:
Why do they call DIVORCE an Industry?!
Also why should any man want to procreate even without marriage being the way things are?
Nope! Doesn't work that way. You gave up, so you got skewered. When men come away feeling screwed over, the vast majority of the time it's because they:
1. Went with the cheapest attorney they could find
2. Just wanted the whole thing over with and signed anything that was put in front of them without really reading or understanding it
3. Gave up like you did
That's not any state's or system's fault. It's the men's.
I am placing the blame on the NJ STATE SYSTEM. I am willing to pay my share...but when the system is heavily stacked in favor of the woman...and when the WOMAN knows this ...and plays the game...not much a man can do especially when legal fees continue to rise.
I am expected to pay based on my best years of salary...and that is not the case.
I am expected to live in sub-standard living conditions but my ex-wife can continue "close to her standard of living that she enjoyed during marriage". I went from living in a 3000+ sq ft home to a 1250 sq ft one bedroom apartment.
I know one day I will have to tell my kids the "value" and "benefits" of marriage ..... LOL
How does one tell their sons NEVER to marry someone who has much lower salary and/or much lower earning potential. Don't make the same mistake as dear ol' Dad.
Howard Stern once said, "the worst business contract ever invented was the Marriage License. For $15 you can go to any court house and your partner will be entitled to half your assets. My agent doesn't even get half!"
Marriage is hard work and very costly to unwind. If one must get married to feel connected then at least have a prenup. Makes it much easier to unwind. And given the stats that 50% of marriages fail, it is a coin toss that it will need to be unwound. The unwinding part is not the worst of it though...I think the realizing that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with that person, but you're too afraid to leave has to be such a pit in one's stomach. That is such an empty existence and I have so many friends in this boat.
So....you have to pull your share in the divorce....exactly what don't you think is fair....
Granted, it's anecdotal, but the few guys I knew that got NJ divorces seemed to have judges that think it's the 1950s. Ward at the office and June and the kiddos at home, really backwater thinking.
Treated as though they were ATMs and nothing more.
The funny part is, three of the guys found out their wives were boning other men.
Granted, it's anecdotal, but the few guys I knew that got NJ divorces seemed to have judges that think it's the 1950s. Ward at the office and June and the kiddos at home, really backwater thinking.
Treated as though they were ATMs and nothing more.
The funny part is, three of the guys found out their wives were boning other men.
Marriage is an antiquated idea. It doesn't make sense in the modern world. Most of these married guys are getting serviced at the strip club or massage parlor because the marriage is empty and loveless. They have Tinder accounts on their second cell phones. The stuff I see these guys do to keep everything secret because they don't want to get a divorce to protect the kids and to avoid the costs of the unwind. Amazing.
Marriage is an antiquated idea. It doesn't make sense in the modern world. Most of these married guys are getting serviced at the strip club or massage parlor because the marriage is empty and loveless. They have Tinder accounts on their second cell phones. The stuff I see these guys do to keep everything secret because they don't want to get a divorce to protect the kids and to avoid the costs of the unwind. Amazing.
That's why my post 31.
When right is wrong and vice versa this is what one sees/hears.
Again this is why "MGTOW" exists to the dislike of many women - too bad things are the way they are believe me I don't like it but it makes up most of the reality.
When right is wrong and vice versa this is what one sees/hears.
Again this is why "MGTOW" exists to the dislike of many women - too bad things are the way they are believe me I don't like it but it makes up most of the reality.
MGTOW - In a modern world I don't need to get married to have a child. I can have a surrogate carry the baby. Therefore, if I want to have children I can avoid the frustrationg, disappointment, cost, and hardship of marriage. The company of a great women is amazing and can be one of the most wonderful things a man can experience, but the reality is in today's standard of social interaction, marriage is largely an empty experience. Still it may be worth trying, I just don't want to be ruined financially through the unwinding of the failed partnership. Therefore, I enjoy my single life quite a lot - travel, savings, low stress, sleeping-in late, expensive hobbies, etc. My married friends always telling me how hard they have it, but they're trapped. I can't imagine that feeling.
MGTOW - In a modern world I don't need to get married to have a child. I can have a surrogate carry the baby. Therefore, if I want to have children I can avoid the frustrationg, disappointment, cost, and hardship of marriage. The company of a great women is amazing and can be one of the most wonderful things a man can experience, but the reality is in today's standard of social interaction, marriage is largely an empty experience. Still it may be worth trying, I just don't want to be ruined financially through the unwinding of the failed partnership. Therefore, I enjoy my single life quite a lot - travel, savings, low stress, sleeping-in late, expensive hobbies, etc. My married friends always telling me how hard they have it, but they're trapped. I can't imagine that feeling.
They say that marriage is an institution - so who wants to live in an institution?
They say that marriage is an institution - so who wants to live in an institution?
Marriage is a moving/evolving concept nowadays. I really don't know what it means anymore. And you're right, it is an institution! My friends are prisoners and if they leave the yard the Warden gives them heck when they get back and they get time in solitary as punishment.
1) Most people don't understand the concept of "till death do us part" so they dismiss it.
2) The fact that the divorce rate is rising only further proves #1 and most people I find think its a perfectly fine option if things don't go their way.
3) Religion aside, as I think its a farce, many people in the world today (especially in the US it seems) have loose morals. What I mean by this is that they stand by their word only for as long as it benefits them. Once they see a way to get something new, better, bigger, etc, people tend to compromise themselves just to get those things. It could be a job, it could be sex, it could be a flat screen TV. Its harder and harder to find someone to stands for what is RIGHT regardless of the personal consequences. AND, its rare people can even agree what is right.
I was married, I am now divorced. I lost everything I owned because my ex simply decided she wanted something different. NJ law doesnt care what was whose, if you bought it while you were together it belongs to both of you even tho I had clearly demonstrated the money from which it was bought was mine LONG before we were married. She entered the marriage with nothing, and left with a college degree making 6 figures. I entered the marriage with a very respectable 6 figure savings, 3 cars, a motorcycle, a time share in Mexico, a condo in Miami and many valuable collectibles.
The savings went towards giving her the wedding of her dreams, her ring, the honeymoon and the rest went towards 1/2 the mortgage of the house we bought as a down payment. The condo was sold in order to upgrade our house. She got the most expensive truck in the divorce and crashed it into my motorcycle. Since we were on the same policy the INS denied the claim. She moved out leaving me with a mortgage payment I couldn't afford on my own and since we bought at the height of the bubble, I lost all the money I put into the house when it sold. The collectibles and jewelry had to be sold to pay for the lawyer and CC bills she left me with. She fought me tooth and nail over custody and because she had her mother move in with her, she won and I only get to see my son every other weekend because I work 60-80hrs week.
Even tho I supported her for over 10 years before we got married, I bought her a car to get back and forth to school, bought all her books and paid 100% of all rent and utilities until she started working in the city, even though she now makes MUCH more than I do, since we were not married while she was in school, and since we were only married for 5 years, I was not entitled to any form of spousal support. Then, I had to fight to get my child support payments down from $2000/month (1 child) because she claimed I had my own business making an extra $500k on top of my salary from my main job. She had to provide no proof of her claim, but I had to spend another $10k in fees to have an accountant, lawyer and "specialist" dig into my affairs to prove I did not in fact own my own business and did not have any additional income over my salary. THEN she tries to get me to pay HER spousal support. My lawyer and the bailiff had to literally hold me back from trying to hurt her in the courtroom.
Now I'm free and clear but broke with nothing to my name but my clothes, a flat screen TV and a beat up commuter car and have to give 20% of my gross as child support until my son is either 25 or emancipated and out of college, whichever comes first.
I will NEVER get married again.
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