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To be "fair" there are several public transpo options from Fair Haven -- you have the ferry, trains at Red Bank and Little Silver and buses into Port Authority as well. In either scenario, my husband would not be driving into the city.
We considered towns other than Glen Ridge because we are a bit spooked by the property taxes and disheartened by the lack of inventory. But the other places we looked at like Ridgewood, Glen Rock, Westfield and Summit all have appreciably longer commutes and trains that are not direct (with the exception of Summit). In any of those cases, though, the average train ride would be about 20 minutes longer and at that point I think why not just move to the beach and take the ferry?
I'm leaning toward GR at this point because of the commute and all those factors that the commute will affect that others have pointed out. DH still seems to be balking though, which is ironic since he's the one making the commute. His contention is that all these others guys in his office have long commutes (like on the order of 90 minutes) and no one seems to be depressed or harried about it. My answer to that is that just because you don't see their frustration and aggravation (and that of their wives) doesn't mean it doesn't exist outside of the office. And many of these guys also happen to be older and more senior than him and thus have more control over their schedules (we had kids relatively early by crazy NY standards). Just because everyone else muddles through this misery doesn't mean we should willingly do so as well, right??
...and possibly many of those guys aren't so happy at home.
And I live in Glen Rock, my commute is not 1:20 minutes in to NYC and the stop in Secaucus Jtcn is pretty quick and easy (I have to go the 40s in West side)...although a direct commute in would chop off an easy :10 minutes...plenty of threads around about actual times. As a previous poster had mentioned, some folks can do it but spending anywhere (or possibly north of 3 hours a day) in just commuting time would be killer for me. Funding an Uber ride back to GR has always been pretty easy as well (under $100). Not sure that it would not cost you 3x that cost to FH.
Lastly, if it doesn't work out in GRidge or if he's just amazed at his short commute, you won't have a hard time selling your home as you noted, inventory is always low and demand is high and you can push out the boundary.
@lfsr1544 I'm inclined to agree with you... being that close to the city comes with annoyances like crowds, density and traffic, but on the other hand, it's still easier and quicker for my husband to get in and out via car if he must and while our kids won't have the beach right outside, we will likely be able to take fuller advantage of what the city has to offer -- museums, shows, etc. -- on the weekends and I think that will be beneficial for the kids, too.
And you're likely right about the home values, too, I just hope we can actually FIND something. The first house we even considered putting an offer in on in Glen Ridge had 8 other bidders!!!
I know the OP seems set on either Glen Ridge and Fair Haven but there are dozens of other good towns that won't break the bank as much and still offer a decent commute and good schools. Seems like a lot of the cost of those two places is paying for the name.
@NJpoliciansarecrooks -- believe me we've considered just about every town there. We aren't concerned with name but as it happens just about every town in Northern Jersey and Monmouth County with top schools is a town that has been considered at turns "snobby." This isn't surprising. We are concerned with schools and we are concerned with value as it relates to commute time. If we're going to shell out the money in both real estate prices and taxes to live in Northern Jersey, my contention is that we might as well at least get top notch schools and a decent commute in exchange for that. If you look at towns that have Midtown Direct Trains, the ones with the shortest commutes and "best" schools are Glen Ridge and Millburn. Maplewood and Montclair were two other towns we considered but didn't feel as if the taxes and home prices justified the somewhat less stalwart reputation of the schools (don't get me wrong, I think these towns still have great schools, but if I'm paying this premium, I want the reputation to be peerless).
There's a reason these towns have "names" like they do and that's because of what they offer. So you're not just paying for a name, you're paying for what they offer. Whether that be convenient commute, good schools, proximity to the beach, aesthetic beauty. Real estate pricing isn't accidental.
That being said, I'd be happy to take suggestions of towns we may have overlooked in our search that would be better options!
I am in the camp of picking the shorter commute. The thing about commutes is they never get shorter. There will be no miraculous change in mass transportation in the short term that will make this better, merely worse. A common thing I noticed when I used to be a NYC commuter, was people lied about their commute time. I think they probably mean well, but it's a coping mechanism to lie to themselves about how much time they're truly spending commuting when you calculate the true door to desk time. My old commute used to fall somewhere between 1:15-2:15h each way. If EVERYTHING went according to plan, I could make it in an hour, but that was as rare as a unicorn sighting. When we didn't have kids, it wasn't so bad. My wife had to work some evenings, so I didn't miss the time away from home too much. I would meet friends for drinks after work and then commuting home after rush hour was relatively quick.
But then we had our first kid, things changed. I wanted to be home earlier, but that meant getting crushed at rush hour and not getting home too much earlier. My wife still worked so some nights I had to get home to relieve the nanny and it was always stressful when things didn't go right (which is often). Then we had a second child. And soon it became this miserable existence of leaving for work before the kids were awake and then getting home after they were asleep or if I was lucky, I'd get to spend 30 minutes with them before bed. In the end I was working to support a family I didn't have time to spend time with. Plus, if you need to do any actual life stuff, chores around the house, mow the lawn, etc, there was little time to do it M-F, so the weekends were full of chores, not fun. So additional financial decisions had to be made, hire someone to mow the lawn, help clean the house, etc to free up some time.
Every family situation is different and there's no single answer. In the end, you have to figure out what is best for you. My dad's career required him to travel a lot and he missed out on a lot of events in our lives. I know he was doing what he thought was best for us, but now that I am a father, I look back at those years and wish we had spent more time together. As my kids got older, the outlook for a future of little league, school plays, dance recitals looked pretty bleak, so we made a decision to leave NJ entirely. Obviously this isn't an option or even a desire for many, but for us, it was the greatest thing we ever did. Best of luck!
A common thing I noticed when I used to be a NYC commuter, was people lied about their commute time. I think they probably mean well, but it's a coping mechanism to lie to themselves about how much time they're truly spending commuting when you calculate the true door to desk time. My old commute used to fall somewhere between 1:15-2:15h each way. If EVERYTHING went according to plan, I could make it in an hour, but that was as rare as a unicorn sighting.
Finally someone who gets it! Ask any coworker their commute, the universal answer is "oh about an hour". Then you ask them where they live and realized it's a fantasy number.
Calculate true door to door: Drive/walk to station, park car, waiting for train, get off train and walking to office etc..that alone is almost 1 hr. Then the train ride itself and this assumes no transfers and you can time the trains perfectly.
I grew up in Glen Ridge in the 90's! The schools are great, so at least you will see where those insane taxes go. The town is beautiful, and everyone pretty much knows everyone. That can be a good or bad thing depending on what you want, of course.
Most people move away after their last child finishes high school, that is absolutely correct. Your children are young, that still seems like a pretty good run if that's what you decide to do?
Then we had a second child. And soon it became this miserable existence of leaving for work before the kids were awake and then getting home after they were asleep or if I was lucky, I'd get to spend 30 minutes with them before bed. In the end I was working to support a family I didn't have time to spend time with. Plus, if you need to do any actual life stuff, chores around the house, mow the lawn, etc, there was little time to do it M-F, so the weekends were full of chores, not fun. So additional financial decisions had to be made, hire someone to mow the lawn, help clean the house, etc to free up some time.
This is pretty much our reality right now in Park Slope anyway and it'll be the same in Jersey. I think the difference for us is my husband getting maybe 30 minutes with the kids in the evening or not seeing them at all. So, yeah, when you put it in those terms it seems absurd to pick a longer commute.
My husband has since "seen the light" on basically moving to the closest town we can afford with a good school district (this happens to be Glen Ridge). Now we're both just crossing our fingers that properties start to open up in the next few months!
My husband and I live in Westport CT and his door to door commute to Wall Street is 2 hours each way. We are in exact same debate - Fair Haven vs Glen Ridge ... curious which you chose in the end ? Thanks !!
I feel for you. It truly is a rock and a hard place! In the end we chose neither and completely relocated to another city—Pittsburgh. FWIW it was the best decision of my life. There are times when I miss New York of course but it’s staggering the improvement we’ve seen in our quality of life. There’s more of everything here: space, time and money. And because we have more of all of that we can take better advantage of what this city has to offer. It’s not as much as New York but it’s plenty to keep us busy and entertained. We have more money to travel, more time off to do it and the airport is a 25 minute uber ride away. Our town is 15 minutes from downtown, is on the commuter rail line, has walkable shops, restaurants, parks, playgrounds, library, pool, etc. with leafy tree lined streets and beautiful old homes (very reminiscent of Glen Ridge actually but I think even nicer!) and one of the best public school districts in the state. Sorry for the rambling PSA but I wish someone would have enlightened me on the paradise to be found in a mid-sized city when I was struggling with these decisions. Best of luck with your decision. Had we stayed I think we would have opted for GR in the end but what bugged me was there was no good answer!
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