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Old 01-17-2017, 10:38 PM
 
5 posts, read 3,330 times
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I live in a regional high school district. Upon moving here with 3 small children I never thought of the implications this would bring years later. 2 of my kids are fine with the change of school but my son who has played sports with kids from Howell since he was six and has a close bond with them, was assigned to Colts Neck. He is very depressed and not the same kid at all. All his friends are at Howell. He used to go to every social event at Howell Middle school but now at Colts Neck does not go to anything. He is in sports but I can see he is losing interest due to the lack of comradery he had with his friends and seems very sad. He went from knowing everyone in the school to hardly anyone due to Colts Neck pulling from so many different areas. There is not a bond of friends coming in. I think this design of a school district is awful. High school years are hard enough to be separated from the bonds that give confidence and self esteem. He is very depressed and I am very worried. I gave it 7 months and if anything it has gotten worse. I dont want to spend another year here trying to get him to like it. For my other 2 kids it was fine but for him not at all. How do I get him back in Howell? He was very open and optimistic when starting Colts Neck High School but it is not a good fit for him at all. I am afraid of what the future may hold for him if he stays when he is not adjusting and dont want to waste any more time causing him to decline socially and emotionally
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Old 01-18-2017, 12:53 AM
 
2,113 posts, read 1,622,194 times
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Your district has specialized areas of study at certain schools.

Which one does Howell offer
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Old 01-18-2017, 08:11 AM
 
431 posts, read 204,262 times
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I remember my brother going through a similar issue many years ago. In the long run it would probably be a good thing (making new friends etc) but I can understand that when you are 14 YO it seems like your world has ended. My brothers solution was along the lines tom stated- my brother signed up for the out of zone schools dental program, though he had no interest in becoming a dentist. He ended up liking the class and he was back with his friends.
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Old 01-18-2017, 09:24 AM
 
Location: "The Falls"
464 posts, read 228,044 times
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That's the way that area is set up. 6 high schools in a regional district and they put you where there's room. Don't like it? Time to move.
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Old 01-19-2017, 06:20 AM
 
5 posts, read 3,330 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tom1944 View Post
Your district has specialized areas of study at certain schools.

Which one does Howell offer

They are 4 year programs so if you did not start in it at the beginning you can not get in.
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Old 01-19-2017, 06:32 AM
 
8,434 posts, read 1,875,299 times
Reputation: 2886
Quote:
Originally Posted by smithone View Post
I live in a regional high school district. Upon moving here with 3 small children I never thought of the implications this would bring years later. 2 of my kids are fine with the change of school but my son who has played sports with kids from Howell since he was six and has a close bond with them, was assigned to Colts Neck. He is very depressed and not the same kid at all. All his friends are at Howell. He used to go to every social event at Howell Middle school but now at Colts Neck does not go to anything. He is in sports but I can see he is losing interest due to the lack of comradery he had with his friends and seems very sad. He went from knowing everyone in the school to hardly anyone due to Colts Neck pulling from so many different areas. There is not a bond of friends coming in. I think this design of a school district is awful. High school years are hard enough to be separated from the bonds that give confidence and self esteem. He is very depressed and I am very worried. I gave it 7 months and if anything it has gotten worse. I dont want to spend another year here trying to get him to like it. For my other 2 kids it was fine but for him not at all. How do I get him back in Howell? He was very open and optimistic when starting Colts Neck High School but it is not a good fit for him at all. I am afraid of what the future may hold for him if he stays when he is not adjusting and dont want to waste any more time causing him to decline socially and emotionally

You might want to check other things ,it might not be the school .Have you shown him he can friends at both schools,he can't be the only one in the situation,is it due to maybe a "girlfriend",depression can be caused by many different things.Have you check out Privet schools maybe Christian Brothers Academy?All so and please no judgments here he has to learn to make friends.He will be going to college then what does Mom do, come and save him again?Same in the business world ,not saying this is the case with your son but I don't think seven months is enough time.
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Old 01-20-2017, 04:05 PM
 
Location: Toms River, NJ
1,103 posts, read 4,174,103 times
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It's good that you're being sensitive to your son's feelings. If he is becoming more withdrawn you should reach out to the school first and see what they can offer up (they've probably dealt with this before)...but don't let this go. We like to think our kids just need to toughen up, and in most cases they will survive, but there are a lot of parents out there that will tell you they wish they'd listened to the signals their kids were sending them. I wouldn't even be responding to this today if I hadn't met a mom today (she was part of a presentation at a middle school) whose 16 year old son isn't here today because no one paid attention to the "signs."
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Old 01-20-2017, 06:41 PM
 
1,564 posts, read 1,759,576 times
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Do they have a "hardship waiver"? Look at that first, see if any of the hardship reasons could apply.

Next, see if he could enter a magnet program at Howell in 10th...just ask...perhaps there are openings.

Could you move?

Other option is you may be able to pay out-of-district tuition to Howell. Some high schools do take a few tuition students.
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Old 01-21-2017, 06:58 AM
 
Location: Central Jersey - Florida
3,261 posts, read 11,538,863 times
Reputation: 1989
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYtoNJtoPA View Post
That's the way that area is set up. 6 high schools in a regional district and they put you where there's room. Don't like it? Time to move.
They send you where there's room? We lived in the FRHSD for 30 years and sent 3 children to school there, the rule was you went to the high school that you were districted for unless you had a specialized area of study. Did something change recently?
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Old 01-21-2017, 12:28 PM
 
5 posts, read 3,330 times
Reputation: 10
He was always like the Mayor and very open to people to make friends. He reaches out to kids in this school as his normal jokester teenage boy. In this particular school I believe it is not the right fit for him. He was thinking Princeton as a college in the future but I actually think after running into this now he would probably do better in a state school. He is very smart outgoing straight A honors student who loves sports and is extremely down to earth. Some schools are more suited for a more quiet type. This is what I am finding here. His other school he had friends that played sports and were in honors. I would not suggest he come out of honors to be with people more like him. When he goes away to college he will be through these years and more ready for college. This is a crucial time and for some students certain schools are better for them. My older son is fine with this school. This is not mommy bailing him out this is a definite change in him keeping him from becoming a statistic.
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