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Hi we are Hindu originally from India, right now we are living in Bayonne, NJ.
My son 7 years was playing outside. and while playing he went to neighbors driveway+sidewalk
and started playing with chalk.
after some time neighbor came and started shouting using abusive words.
he was bragging/shouting "my wife has big connections, she knows all big guys in town",
He made some racist comments also. He also tried to threaten us like you don't know the rules in this country, your religion allow kids to play kids in neighbors area like that.
So, I started video tape him with my cellphone, then he started saying you can not video tape, he will send us in jail for this.
I know that my kid made a mistake , we offered them that we will clean it was just chalk mark on outside driveway floor, but seems like it was just an excuse for him to shout on us because we are Hindu/Indian.
So, my concern is if something like this happen again, if he or some body else makes racist comment on us...what we should do?
Note: we have faced racism here before also, somebody had broken our living room big glass window by throwing a stone also.
In some other incident somebody sliced our car tire. we called the cops both time, cop asked do you suspect somebody we said no, after that I don't think police investigated anything. seems like cops are also not cooperating for minorities.
I am sorry that this is happening to you and your family, and your children in particular!
First, your neighbor was completely out of line for yelling over sidewalk chalk. You were completely within your rights to videotape him, and I would have shown the video tape to the local police. When things are on tape, everyone even those who are intolerant frequently start acting in more appropriate manner.
Second, it is in your best interest to invest in security cameras. I would install several. That way you do not have to use your cell phone to tape your neighbor which can escalate a situation, and you can keep an eye on your tires too.
Hi @flamadiddle, thanks for your time and reply here, yes there is diversity overall in Bayonne but less in my neighborhood ,there are white people who are living here for generations. on this street yes, I am the only one,where I bought home, majority are whites , who are living here for the last 30-40 years.
I am not opposed on American flag, I can try that. I will also try to talk with all neighbors to make good relations.
also will use technologies like security camera to keep an eye...anyway thanks a lot for devoting time on research and replying.
i lived in bayonne for a number of years and i am asian.
the area overall is becoming very diverse with a lot of indians / asians moving there due to the close proximity / commute to downtown jersey city.
There are definitely still many "old school" characters in the town, but i have never experienced any type of racism directed towards me while living there. The most negative experience i had was i parked my car in a dead end street spot because i see there are other cars parked there all the time, immediately next day i got a parking ticket yet none of the other cars did. Clearly the cop knew those guys or didnt want me to park in their spot.
To the OP you keep saying the neighbor made racist comments, what did he say exactly that's racist? i read your post twice but you never stated what they said.
Hi @flamadiddle, thanks for your time and reply here, yes there is diversity overall in Bayonne but less in my neighborhood ,there are white people who are living here for generations. on this street yes, I am the only one,where I bought home, majority are whites , who are living here for the last 30-40 years.
I am not opposed on American flag, I can try that. I will also try to talk with all neighbors to make good relations.
also will use technologies like security camera to keep an eye...anyway thanks a lot for devoting time on research and replying.
Ah yes, growing up in Chicago, I'm well aware of what's going on in your situation. Have you ever watched a TV show called "All in the Family"? There's a character in that show called Archie Bunker. You are living next to Archie Bunker.
Archie had a soft side though so I think you have a good chance of making things better. If other homes are flying the flag, I'd definitely do the same. It's a good way to say, Hey, I'm a proud American just like you!
Overall i wouldnt say bayonne is racist, but it does have some racist people here and there. When i was a kid I had a VP tell me to go on a boat back to where I came from. That was in like 97 tho.
Whether your neighbor is a racist or not, your child was at fault for defacing other people's property. I realize he's only 7 years old and chalk on the driveway isn't the end of the world. But people (myself included) tend to be very protective of their property. In his mind, if your child was comfortable writing on their driveway, it isn't a far stretch to see your child not respective their property rights and taking other liberties with their home. I wouldn't just offer to clean their driveway, I would go ahead and just do it and make sure your child knows not to do it again.
I do agree with trying to be friendly with the neighbors. I might even encourage a giving a small gift or baking a desert for the "Archie Bunker" neighbor with an apology. If he decides he still needs to be a jerk, then don't waste any more time with him.
It's definitely my mistake, but there is a reason for that.
We bought and moved here in December, before that we were living in Bayonne only also lived in PA also.
There kids from same street they used to play in our driveway without asking and same with our kids.
So, I had that mindset in my mind, also my tenant's daughter around 12 years she was also playing with my son.
her grandmother was sitting with us outside, she also didn't raise any concern.
So, in our mind it was normal.
But after this incident we realized that it was a huge issue.
and when that lanlord came , he came shouting on us, he didn't ask or said anything directly, but shouting loudly , using f* word ten times in one sentence , telling us his wife's big connection in Bayonne, bashing on our religion, when I tried to video record then threatening to send us in Jail.
Some neighbor(him or some other)..cut our tire, we didn't shout, we didn't abuse anybody's religion, just called 911 told them what happened...
He also called the 911 but after so much drama, cops said nothing as expected....
If I was him, I would have asked him not to do this again politely why need to do a drama
I used to live next to a guy like that. I don't know if he was racist, but he'd start trouble with everyone around him. Someone somehow managed to get into his yard and drain the oil out of his truck one night so he seized his engine. I don't know what happened after all that since I moved shortly afterwards.
My plan is just make video of whoever/whenever give us trouble....then wait patiently...and sue all of them....
Before you resolve to "sue all of them", try to determine exactly what your damages are, as actual damages suffered by you would be the crux of your lawsuit. Yes, the slashed tire incident resulted in easily-identified damages, but...What quantifiable damages did you suffer as a result of your loony neighbor yelling insults at you?
I submit that it would be very difficult to prove that you sustained actual damages as a result of his rantings, and winning a lawsuit is all about proof.
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