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Thanks all. Walkable downtown is nice, but not a necessity. Given how small NJ towns are, it seems likely I'd be near a walkable downtown no matter where I choose.
I've looked into Montclair but seems like I'd be paying a premium for it and I am not sure its worth it given my needs. Most of the rentals I saw in Bloomfield, while nice, were in the southern part of Bloomfield which wasn't, in my opinion, the nicest walk to the train station nor a particularly useful downtown to me.
I've lived in 4 different towns in NJ and in Staten Island, so I've done it all trying to commute to the city.
Rutherford is probably the best town that fits your requirements. Clifton has different neighborhoods so check those out specifically.
I was gonna say Montclair, but if you say it's too pricey, then don't bother. Also, I would recommend private school if you live in Montclair. I knew somebody who sent their kid to Montclair public school and got messed up. My general advice to you about NJ is to figure out how good the overall school system is. Some towns look really nice but the school system is bad because one section of the town is REALLY bad. Also, check the stats on a towns ethnicity. You'd be surprised that some towns can be totally dominated by one group and this can alienate some kids.
Definitely skip Bloomfield. Not only is the neighborhood somewhat sketchy, but you will be fighting for a seat on the train almost every morning because the train usually fills up one stop before you in Glen Ridge.
They're supposed to be building a massive train terminal in North Brunswick. It's a so-so town, but East Brunswick next door is a great suburb.