Post Prom/Post Grad Beach Rentals?? (spring break, condo, credit)

[Badfish740]

Take it from a self described former "bad kid,"-it's not a great idea to let your "good" teenager rent a house post-prom at the shore. Why? Because there will always be kids like the one I was around. I spent a large part of my mid to late teens and a small part of my early 20s drinking, fighting, and generally raising hell. Irish Catholic guilt, good parents who never gave up, and a few brushes with the law eventually convinced me to finish college, settle down, and keep my eyes on the prize. However, once I become a parent I wouldn't want my kids hanging out with me at 17. No matter what your "good" "smart" kid might do or how they might conduct themselves, there's always going to be guys (and girls) like the one I used to be causing some sort of mayhem whenever there is an abundance of free booze and a lack of parental supervision. Not to mention the fact that shore towns get less and less tolerant of rowdy behavior every year. The threat of lawsuits and increasingly uppity residents ensure that shore town police will be out in full force on weekends in late April and early May. Noise violations and underage drinking fines are great revenue generators during those otherwise sleepy months.

[regarese]

Originally Posted by yankeemom

Regarese, I am honestly just curious if you think its okay to lay all that responsibility onto a rental property owner. As a property owner and a mom, the number of scenerios that go through my mind just boggles me, even assuming "good kids", and I know alot of parents who think they have "good" kids, and from the outside they seem "good"-- honor roll, into good colleges etc, yet I know they drink like fish and have experimented with drugs and sex.

God no!! LOL. The place we stayed at had a rule of no high school kids. And I'm still surprised my mom listened to me plead my case and let me go-maybe that was because I was 18-who knows. The ONLY reasons we were allowed to rent the rooms were a) our prom was a week or two out of season and b) my friend and her family had been going there for years and years so the owner felt comfortable with the situation. I don't think the rental property owner should take on that responsibility. I was just making the case for the kids like me who could handle the situation. Maybe ours was a special circumstance. I don't know. The friend we were with had an older brother who died in a drunk driving (he was the drunk passenger of a drunk driver) accident when we sophomores, so we really had no interest to be around the other teens who were drinking. But there are seemingly "good" kids who really are good kids. People always complain that teens aren't responsible, they're careless, make poor decisions, can't stand up to peer pressure, etc. but when there are some really good ones, nobody believes that they are good. Poor kids can't win. LOL. Goody goodies can and do exist-even in the teenage form. My sister would have no problem telling you what a drag it was for her to grow with one.

But no-you're right-the property-owner should not have to accept that responsibility. I guess that's why most do not rent to the prom crowd. And you're right that there is a case for the "I'm not worried about my kid, but I'm worried about the other kids around my kid" argument, but that could happen anywhere. Maybe something could have happened to me prom weekend, but there was honestly more crap going on in the house across the street from where I lived on any given weekend (1 highschool senior and 2 responsible college brothers with parents who didn't have any fight left) that I had to be that much more alert walking home from my part-time job. Trust me, I'm not advocating that the OP should just "give the kids a break and let them have a good time"-no. I just know what it was like being the exception to the expectation and having to work that much harder to prove me and my friends weren't just putting on a good act in order to be bad when backs were turned.

[juliann1977]

It baffles me that any parent would even consider calling a home owner and ask that question. I used to teach high school, and the kids were completely shameless as to what they planned to do/actually did prom weekend. Many would bring in their photos and even try to show them to me. Even relatively "good kids" were well-stocked with alcohol, generally purchased by an older sibling.

(Edited to add: The really good kids (as in the ones who didn't drink, etc..) did not head to the shore at the school where I taught. They generally did a post prom trip to Great Adventure, Hershey Park, or something like that.)

A lot of parents use the argument a couple PP have mentioned (the kids are going to be in college soon and doing whatever they want soon enough...), and while I understand the rationale, that doesn't fly with me. As long as a kid is living under the parent's roof, that kid is still on that person's watch so to speak. Personally, I'd like to see my kid actually attend college--not disappear ala Natalee Holloway, get into a car accident, or any other number of heinous possibilities.

[RamCharger1985]

when i graduated high school a couple years ago, the drinking problem was out of control, and I hear it gets worse every year. I was one of few who never partied or did anything. I never even been to the shore before, and wouldn't dare throw a party at my house, because I'd get my ass kicked. That's the problem, parents want to be their kids friend instead of being a parent. Most people my age, you can't trust them as far as you can throw them, and they are going to do the wrong thing. If I had kids, they would not be allowed to go anywhere without my supervision until they were out of the house.

[BarbaraNJ]

Originally Posted by AJGIANTS

Some parents have kids they can trust but not every one of their peers can be trusted. Parents who over shelter their kids are not correct and those that pay no attention and let their kids run wild are incorrect. You have to pick and choose your spots. These are TEENagers! They have not been to college yet. They do not know how to make wise decisions and the Post prom Jersey Shore Weekend is not a way to teach them.
This is learned once they are away at college and realize they need to go to class and be responsible for their grades. There will be consequences if they are not.. take it from me : I am in my 30s and just finishing undergrad at night with a full time career on wall st and a mountain of student loans because I was not responsible when I first left for college.
There is not one instance I can think of that would come up on a post prom weekend where they will have to think responsibly. If they wanted to be responsible they would stay at home for the weekend and hang out with their friends there. The Naive Parents signing the leases for these kids basically give them a blank check to act in a manner where there are no consequences and responsibilities.

I think they absolutely have to think responsibly on a prom weekend. If they get arrested for drunk driving, disorderly conduct, destruction of property etc. the colleges can rescind their offer of admission. I think that is a major consequence.

[AJGIANTS]

Originally Posted by BarbaraNJ

I think they absolutely have to think responsibly on a prom weekend. If they get arrested for drunk driving, disorderly conduct, destruction of property etc. the colleges can rescind their offer of admission. I think that is a major consequence.

The point is they do not understand this until it happens. Teenagers rarely think ahead. And the evidence is all of the beach towns that have had to change or create new town ordinances just to deal with out of control teenagers.

[b75]

My parents let me do this as a teen so I can see letting mine go as well - but it is scary now to think of what could be happening while they are there. And truthfully I wouldn't rent to them either.

Originally Posted by yankeemom

We have a property on the Jersey shore that we are renting out for the first time this summer. I cannot believe the number of teens I have had calling to rent. While I always knew there was a history of this in Wildwood and Seaside Heights (not where we are) I must say I am a little stunned at the sheer number of parents willing to let their teens go without supervision to do who knows what, coed rentals, etc. I have had parents offer the "sign the lease", then demur when I ask if they will be on site to prevent illegal or damaging activities. If they don't want to supervise their own kids, why should I take on that liability? Haven't they heard of decks collapsing, date rape drugs, underage drinking arrests ? Just would like to hear others thoughts.....And by the way I don't consider myself an old timer. Just a 40 something mom of 2 teens who knows exactly what they could be capable of in the wrong circumstances!

[b75]

Well it seems I am much older then you are & I can tell you these methods would've created a war in my house. Instead my parents did not have such a contentious relationship with me & while I did party, I was also an honors student who received an academic scholarship to college. I think the key is to know what is going on with your kids & make sure you are setting them up for a successful future.

Originally Posted by RamCharger1985

when i graduated high school a couple years ago, the drinking problem was out of control, and I hear it gets worse every year. I was one of few who never partied or did anything. I never even been to the shore before, and wouldn't dare throw a party at my house, because I'd get my ass kicked. That's the problem, parents want to be their kids friend instead of being a parent. Most people my age, you can't trust them as far as you can throw them, and they are going to do the wrong thing. If I had kids, they would not be allowed to go anywhere without my supervision until they were out of the house.

[deere110]

Originally Posted by AJGIANTS

The point is they do not understand this until it happens. Teenagers rarely think ahead.

Ditto. One of my buddies is a cop in a college town. He can't even count how many times he's heard this phrase after arresting a college kid for (insert stupid thing to get arrested for here __________ eg: drunk and disorderly, assault, underage drinking, supplying alcohol to minors, DUI, drug possession, etc...)

"But I'm a criminal justice major!" "You can't do this-I'll never be able to become a cop!"

Hmmm...maybe you should have thought of that before?

[b75]

I have several friends that are cops. Ironically they committed all of the above offenses as kids including drug use, underage drinking etc. What separates them is that they never got caught so they went on to have a very good life.