Seperate checks or split the bill? (budget, trip , house)

[emanon]

Every summer we get together with the same group of about 10-12 people and we dine out 8-10 times. Usually dinner but sometimes breakfast, lunch and dinner. We always just devide the check by the number of people, throw on the usual 20% and are done.

One time one of the persons brought along their spouse for the first time. As soon as the server come to the table the spouse said "seperate checks". We have been dining in the same place for years and never asked for seperate checks but since this person spoke up first we just let it go.

The question is seperate checks or not.

E

[wileynj]

Originally Posted by emanon

Every summer we get together with the same group of about 10-12 people and we dine out 8-10 times. Usually dinner but sometimes breakfast, lunch and dinner. We always just devide the check by the number of people, throw on the usual 20% and are done.

One time one of the persons brought along their spouse for the first time. As soon as the server come to the table the spouse said "seperate checks". We have been dining in the same place for years and never asked for seperate checks but since this person spoke up first we just let it go.

The question is seperate checks or not.

E

No separate checks! If I was your waitress I would "touch your eggs". That must drive them crazy!!!! Just split it... unless you have pals like mine who when you say we're going to just split the bill - they then decide to get the most expensive thing on the menu!!

[johnrex62]

Suggest your friend talk to his wife and explain the traditional way and see if she comes around. If not, you can always allow theirs to be seperate and split the rest as you always have.

It may be that she just did not want to impose what she thought might be a more expensive selection than you might order on the group, or is just used to splitting checks to avoid complaints among her normal crowd.

It might be a nonissue if discussed quietly.

[njkate]

Originally Posted by wileynj

No separate checks! If I was your waitress I would "touch your eggs". That must drive them crazy!!!! Just split it... unless you have pals like mine who when you say we're going to just split the bill - they then decide to get the most expensive thing on the menu!!

Oh gawd..I'm with Wiley on this one
when i waitresssed years ago that would make me cringe..is a real pain for the srvers as well as the kitchen...ugh

[CuCullin]

I always do one check with close friends, but we each throw in for what we ate. With large groups, I don't care, but again I only throw in for what I eat - had a bad experience a while back. Went out to a fine restaurant, some of the most expensive beef you can buy, and I spent about $175. A few people in the group (my uncle's bachelors party, his friends mostly), ordered up appetizers galore, that noone else was interested in and noone really ate, drinks that didn't stop, etc. The end result? Those same people who over-ordered grabbed the check, announced the cost per person - $425. I was happy to pay for my uncle's meal - no way was I paying for the rest of their meals. My brother also spent about $200 - so between the two of us, there were two free reasonable meals paid for. We pulled the guy aside, and said "Here's $375. We're not paying for your shots." Then we left.

[joe moving]

It's like the CBs (Cheap Bastards) come out in groups.

We went out to a bar after my brother in law's wedding. My wife and I do not go out so this was like ok we're going out for the newly weds. There were like 10 of us. My wife, her brother and new bride, and all of THEIR friends. Now I wasn't about to let my brother in law pull out his wallet on his wedding day. But the friends weren't even about to pay for themselves!!!!!!!!!!!

[DodgeViper01]

Originally Posted by CuCullin

I always do one check with close friends, but we each throw in for what we ate. With large groups, I don't care, but again I only throw in for what I eat - had a bad experience a while back. Went out to a fine restaurant, some of the most expensive beef you can buy, and I spent about $175. A few people in the group (my uncle's bachelors party, his friends mostly), ordered up appetizers galore, that noone else was interested in and noone really ate, drinks that didn't stop, etc. The end result? Those same people who over-ordered grabbed the check, announced the cost per person - $425. I was happy to pay for my uncle's meal - no way was I paying for the rest of their meals. My brother also spent about $200 - so between the two of us, there were two free reasonable meals paid for. We pulled the guy aside, and said "Here's $375. We're not paying for your shots." Then we left.

Had the SAME thing happen when I was out at a car club function. Was at a top steakhouse in the NY and I only ordered a filet but people ordered $100 seafood appitizers and 4 pound lobster appitizers and did not discuss it with anyone. When the bill arrives I got some real sticker shock! Lets just say it did not go over well with me and about 1/4 of the attendees.

[veuvegirl]

Nowadays (sp?) it isn't difficult for the waitor to split up the check. There are computerized systems that you punch everything in; select separate checks and hand them out to each person/party.

IMO it is ridiculous; I am all for splitting; the amount is pretty much the same for each person in the end. I went to dinner with some friends one night and they all insisted on figuring out what each person owed etc. I said "That's fine, I am not doing it; someone has to tell me what I owe." It is nuts....we all owed around $40 give or take

[Carbro]

Sep checks stinks. It's not friendly, and it's unfair to the server (just a bit less so if the party requests it before they order). The only reason I can see for not going in all together is if some of the people have wine or cocktails (esp. if they have more than one) and others do not. In those cases, let the accountant in the group (there's usually one, isn't there?) tally each person's share.

[kimchee]

Separate checks may not be the best option but sometimes necessary if you don't know the other people in the group well.

Everybody has their own dining budget. One couple may find $200 per person tolerable and order lavishly but another may consider $25 per person extreme. And not everybody is respectful or considerate about others who may be living on a budget.

I had this problem when dining with a bunch of people on a ski trip who decided to order bottles of wine, appetizers, expensive entrees, dessert and coffee! My hubby and I just ordered an entree and were appalled at having to pitch in for their extravagance.

Speak to the waiter in private and ask for a separate check in those situations.